Quantcast
Channel: Relationships
Viewing all 3141 articles
Browse latest View live

Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen have reportedly split after 10 years together

$
0
0

hayden christensen rachel bilson

The INSIDER Summary:

  • Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen have been together for 10 years.
  • According to Us Weekly, the couple has broken up.
  • They have one daughter together. 

Another Hollywood couple has reportedly split.

Us Weekly reports that "The O.C." star Rachel Bilson and "Star Wars" actor Hayden Christensen have split after 10 years together.

According to the publication's source: "She's full-time back in L.A. He's in Toronto. They’ve been on the outs for a couple of months. They are completely, officially done."

Bilson, 36, and Christensen, 36, met while filming "Jumper" and have been dating since 2007. They were briefly engaged, but never married. 

The couple has a daughter, Briar Rose, born in October 2014. 

Representatives for Hayden and Bilson didn't immediately respond to INSIDER's request for comment. 

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Terrifying NASA footage from space shows the giant Hurricane Harvey about to slam the Texas coast


32 celebrity couples with huge age differences between them

$
0
0

blake lively ryan reynolds

Age doesn't necessarily matter when it comes to love for these Hollywood May-December romances.

From the 12 years between Jay-Z and Beyoncé to the 17 years between George and Amal Clooney, these celebrities have found their match in partners more than 10 years older than them.  

Here are 32 celebrity couples with a big age gap between them. 

Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder: 10 years

Reed, 29, and Somerhalder, 38, started their relationship in 2014. They were engaged in early 2015 and were married in April that same year. The couple welcomed daughter Bodhi Soleil in July 2017. 



Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo: 10 years

Levine, 38, marriedVictoria's Secret model Prinsloo, 28, in 2014. Prinsloo gave birth to their first child, a daughter named Dusty Rose, in 2016 and announced a second pregnancy on Instagram in September 2017.



Cheryl Cole and Liam Payne: 10 years

Former One Direction member Payne, 24, has been dating singer Cheryl Cole, 34, since 2016. She gave birth to their first son, Bear, in March 2017.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

A complete guide to all of the dating terms plaguing modern relationships

$
0
0

woman texting

The INSIDER Summary:

  • There are a number of new dating "trends" that crop up all of the time, and it can be tough to know what they all mean. 
  • We've broken down all of the definitions of each term so you can put into words what may be happening to you.
  • We've also given advice on what you can do if you fall victim to any of these trends. 

From ghosting, to haunting, to zombeing, dating is sounds more like a bad horror movie these days. And finding out what they mean can only add to the horror. 

Although the internet and social media did not invent dating troubles, they've certainly added a number of complications when it comes to finding a partner. It can be difficult to keep up with the latest thing people are doing to each other, and even more difficult to deal with when you fall victim to one of the most common dating pitfalls. 

We've compiled a complete guide of all the dating terms floating around, and what you can do when one happens to you. 

Ghosting

This is the OG modern dating term that refers to someone you're dating, seeing, talking to, etc. disappears without a trace. They don't break up with you, they just stop responding one day, leading you to assume they've broken up with you.

Although this is common among people online dating someone they don't know very well, it can happen to anyone. This apparently includes people you live with

Used it a sentence:"I was talking to that guy from OKCupid but he ghosted me last week."

How you can deal with it: Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot you can do. If you know for a fact they're alive and this was a casual thing, you should probably just move on. If it was a little more involved, aka a full on relationship, you can feel free to let them know that it wasn't OK, and how it made you feel. Just know that those words may ring hollow to them and you likely won't get a response. 

If they have things of yours, try and arrange a neutral person to go pick them up or let them know when you'll be by so they can leave it in a safe spot.

Otherwise, thank the universe that this person showed you their true, ugly colors, relationship expert and author April Masini told INSIDER.

"If you’re ghosted, understand that the person who ghosted you doesn’t have the tools to be in a mature relationship — or the character," she said. "And while it’s not nice to feel rejected, you’ve dodged a relationship bullet. Move on and be glad you have this opportunity."

couple on phone

Zombieing

What is it? This is what comes after ghosting. After leaving without a trace, this person will contact you out of the blue acting as if nothing is wrong. This is like a person who is "dead" to you coming back to life, hence the term

Used it a sentence: "That guy from OKCupid who ghosted me totally zombied and is acting like he never dropped off for 6 months."

How you can deal with it: This is possibly even more frustrating than ghosting. Though this sometimes leads to a tropical vacation sponsored by Tinder, this person is most likely a flake and you should ignore their advances. 

In some cases though, they may have a good excuse (i.e. a death in the family, mental health episodes, etc.). In those cases it's up to you if you want to give them another chance, especially if the relationship wasn't that serious. Just be prepared for them to do it again. 

Stashing

What is it? This is when you're dating someone and they're seeming to hide you away. You never seem to meet any of their friends and family and your dates tend to be at their house or somewhere where you won't know anyone.

Used it a sentence: "I think my boyfriend is stashing me. It's been a year, and I've never met even one of his friends."

How you can deal with it: Be straight up with your partner. Ask them to meet someone in their life or let them know that you'd love to hang out with a group of their friends too. 

If they refuse, you're going to have to press them on it eventually. Though they may have real concerns about a toxic family or some rude friends, everyone has at least one person in their life they'd want to show you off to. If they don't they're probably hiding something. 

couple

Phubbing

What is it? This refers to when you're in a relationship or even begin dating someone, and they prefer to look at their phone over talking to you. 

Used it a sentence: "That guy totally phubbed me last night. He spent 30 minutes on his phone at dinner."

How you can deal with it: Make some guidelines about when and where you use your phone]. If someone is on call for work fine, but making certain areas, like your bedroom, and certain times, like meals, a phone-free zone is a good start. 

Benching

What is it? This term refers to when you talk to someone online, and they seem interested but won't see you in person. You're "warmed up" by their conversation, but placed on a bench while they're talking to other people. You're kept on the line in case those relationships don't last.

Used it a sentence: "That guy from OKCupid is totally benching you. No one is completely busy for three weeks straight. 

How you can deal with it: You don't want to be with someone who doesn't unequivocally want to be with you. If they keep canceling on you and stringing you along, ask them to pick a date that works for them. If they can't commit to that, even months out, then they're just not worth your time. 

You don't have to be mean, but let them know you're looking for someone who has more time to invest in a relationship with you and tell them it's best you don't talk anymore until they have that kind of time. 

Couple

Breadcrumbing

What is it? This is when someone is nice to you in small doses, but won't speak to you in between. Maybe they send you flowers, but won't commit to a date for four weeks. Maybe they answering your texts for a week, and then send you a sweet email from. They're stringing you along with small bursts of effort.

Used it a sentence: "I thought this guy was done with me, but now he's breadcrumbing me. I just got flowers at work." 

How you can deal with it: Similar to benching, you have to let them know that you need someone who commits more time to you. This constant state of flux is terrible for a relationship because you can't trust that they'll be there for you when you need them. 

It can be tough to identify, but you need to recognize that his behavior is not OK, spiritual counselor and speaker Davida Rappaport told INSIDER. 

"A few months of being flirted with to no avail is a clue that you are being played … period," she told me.

The next time you see them in person, let them know that you really like them but you feel like they keep dropping off the face of the earth. If they make excuses, let them know that you can't take the whiplash anymore. 

Haunting 

What is it? This is similar to zombieing, but sneakier. This refers to when someone ghosts you, but they return some time later in an indirect way. Maybe they Snapchat you, like your Facebook post, or watch your Instagram story. Either way, they are showing up again when you thought they were "dead."

Used it a sentence: "This guy from six months ago just liked my tweet. I feel like he's starting to haunt me."

How you can deal with it: This person is trying to edge their way back into your heart. They're showing up in this way to get back on your good side in a romantic way or otherwise. You can un-friend them, mute them, or block them if you feel like you want to, but otherwise, just treat it like an occasional annoyance.

Couple

Cushioning

What is it? Cushioning refers to when someone keeps you around to make themselves feel good. They'll be in a relationship, but still in touch with you and flirt because you boost their ego. It will also keep you as an option if their current relationship doesn't work out and "cushion" the blow.

Used it a sentence: "This guy I went to high school with told me I was beautiful, but I think he's just saying that because he needs a cushion after his breakup."

How you can deal with it: Cushioning is a low-key form of cheating. You are under no responsibility to stop a person in a relationship from hitting you up, but you can shut it down. Let them know that you're happy to peruse something (if you are) if they're out of a relationship, but you feel it's inappropriate give their relationship status. 

Of course, this doesn't apply to people in open relationships, so feel free to ask that first. And maybe verify that fact. 

Love bombing

What is it? This is an insidious tactic that has been around for years, but has only recently got a name. Love bombing is when someone moves a relationship along really quickly, telling you they love you on the second date, making plans to move in with you quickly after you meet, and just generally showing you loads and loads of affection. 

This is usually followed by manipulative and controlling behavior, and can even lead to abuse. This person "reels you in" with this overwhelming love, lulls you into a sense that they adore you and would never hurt you, and then uses that bond to force you to comply with what they want. 

Used it a sentence: "I didn't realize he could act like this because he was love bombing me in the beginning of our relationship." 

How you can deal with it: It's best to cut love bombing off as soon as you catch it. Although you may be flattered by gifts and attention, remember that you both have control over the pace of the relationship. Let them know what you're comfortable with and don't let them manipulate you into doing anything you're not comfortable with. 

If love bombing has crossed over into manipulation and abuse, you should tell someone you trust as soon as you feel safe. If you or someone you know has been the victim of domestic violence or abuse, you can contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. 

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: 6 details you might have missed on the season 7 finale of 'Game of Thrones'

'There's no guarantee' you and your spouse will still be compatible in 5 years, says a relationship psychologist

$
0
0

marriage relationship proposal couple love

Preparing for my interview with psychologist Eli Finkel, there was one question I didn't really want to know the answer to.

Finkel is a psychologist at Northwestern University and the author of the book "The All-or-Nothing Marriage," in which he explains why modern marriage is so hard and what couples can do to strengthen their own relationship.

In one section of the book, Finkel addresses the issue of compatibility — how to maintain it with our partner, even as we both grow and change. And I was left worriedly wondering: Is it possible that a couple can start out perfectly compatible, and then become less so over time?

Here's the answer he gave: "Even if we achieve compatibility in the marriage, there's no guarantee that that compatibility will remain strong over time."

Yikes.

Those few years that you're dating, before you get engaged, are what Finkel calls a "snapshot." He said, "How representative of your overall life are those two [or however many] years going to be?"

That's especially true, Finkel added, if those two years are when you're "in your late 20s, and you're building a career, and you're still hanging out some with your college friends, and you have some new friends.

"But there aren't screaming toddlers; there aren't newborns pooping their diapers all the time. So the degree to which you're compatible right now isn't any sort of guarantee whatsoever that you'll be compatible even in three years or five years."

Finkel's unsettling observations reminded me of something Susan Pease Gadoua, co-author of "The New I Do,"told me in July: It's helpful to know you have an "out" of your marriage. That is, if one or both people grow out of the relationship, it might be upsetting, but it won't be shameful to leave.

The psychologist Daniel Gilbert's research on the "end-of-history illusion" is especially relevant here. Gilbert suggests that most people have no idea how much they'll change in the future — which means you can't predict whether you'll still want the same things from your marriage in 10, 20, or 30 years.

Ideally, both people in a relationship will grow and change in tandem. But realistically, that doesn't always happen. For sure, it's a scary prospect, but it's one that we're better off embracing.

The real question here is whether or not you and your partner are determined to make the marriage function anyway — and there's no right answer.

Finkel said:

"The ''til death do us part' vow is so interesting because it says, 'You know, I'm going to change. I know I'm going to change. We're going to take this gamble. We're going to make this promise that says, regardless of all those sorts of changes and even when all those sorts of changes might lead us in a different direction, we are going to work super hard to try to make sure this marriage works."

SEE ALSO: A therapist explains why one of the most traditional beliefs about marriage is also the most damaging

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: RELATIONSHIP EXPERT: Trying to meet your partner’s needs is 'the most horrific advice I could imagine'

Fergie breaks her silence on breakup with Josh Duhamel: 'It was getting a little weird for us’

$
0
0

Fergie Josh Duhamel

The INSIDER Summary:

  • Fergie revealed that it was getting kind of weird pretending to still be with Josh Duhamel when they had split.  
  • They announced their breakup last week, but in their statement said they had actually split earlier this year. 
  • Fergie said they are committed to co-parenting their son. 

Fergie and Josh Duhamel's joint statement announcing their breakup last week may have come as a surprise to many, but Fergie revealed to People magazine that it was a long time coming. 

She told the magazine that keeping their split a secret was getting a little "weird" for them, since they were often interviewed and asked about their 13-year relationship. 

“Honestly, it was just getting a little weird for us with all the romantic questions,” the singer told People. 

“You can ask him, but it was just getting a little weird to laugh through the first date questions,” she continued.

Their joint statement about their split indicated that their relationship had ended earlier this year, but it's unclear exactly when they called it quits. Fergie said that they wanted to wait to get their son Axl, 4, adjusted before they told the world. 

fergie josh duhamel

"We just wanted to get adjusted in private. [And Axl’s school has helped as] we have a co-op so Josh and I would walk there several times before the school season," she said of co-parenting with her now-ex. 

Despite the split, Fergie said that she and Duhamel still love each other, and the announcement did not mean there was any bad blood. They just figured it was time. 

“We’re great friends, we love each other so much, and it just got to the point where it was getting a little weird,” she told People. “There’s no perfect time, so we just decided to do it.”

So far Duhamel has stayed mum on their split, but if Fergie's words are any indication, it seems like the pair has their priorities in order. Co-parenting after a breakup isn't easy, but they seem to be getting along just fine. 

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: The largest study on breakups just revealed there’s actually an advantage to being cheated on

How Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik became a millennial power couple — from their first date to now

$
0
0

gigi hadid zayn malik

Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik have been a high-profile, highly talked about couple since they began dating in late 2015. You may not be able to remember a time when they weren't together, but believe it or not, this power couple wasn't always about appearing in music video and magazine cover stars. 

Take a look back at Gigi and Zayn's cutest, dramatic, love-filled moments, and see how they came to be one of the world's most fabulous couples. 

August 2015: Zayn broke things off with fiancée Perrie Edwards.

A few months after he split from One Direction, the singer ended things with his fiancée Perrie Edwards of Little Mix. Edwards claimed that Zayn ended things over text, but he later refuted that claim

Their breakup lead to the revenge anthem "Shout Out To My Ex," which has some pretty obvious digs at Malik.  



November 2015: Gigi and Joe Jonas broke up.

Gigi and singer Joe Jonas ended their relationship in November 2015. At the time, they cited scheduling conflicts for their troubles. 

 



November 2015: Rumors swirled that Gigi and Zayn were a couple.

Gigi and Zayn were photographed leavingJustin Bieber’s American Music Awards after-party together and rumors began circulating that they were dating. They insisted they were "friends," but sources told Us Weekly that they were casually dating. 

 

 



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

4 signs your relationship is built to last, according to a therapist

$
0
0

married wedding

The INSIDER Summary:

  • INSIDER asked a relationship expert the signs that you and your partner are fit to stay together.
  • Trust, support, accountability, and physical love are all important aspects of a long-lasting relationship. 
  • No one can know if you'll last for sure, but these are a good hint. 


When you start a romantic relationship, you go in with some that you and this person could go the distance — otherwise why would you waste your time?

Everyone wants to find the perfect formula to make a relationship last forever, but because every couple is different, a formula doesn't quite exist. That being said, there are some important traits that all successful couples share. Therapist Kimberly Hershenson told INSIDER what she feels long-lasting relationships have in common

You trust each other. 

It's a big deal if someone puts enough trust in you to devote time to you and open up to you. If you're going to be with them for a long time, it's important that you show reverence and respect that bond. 

"It is difficult to be vulnerable and share problems with others," said Hershenson. "When a partner is able to open up to you it is important to not break their trust."

In a relationship, trust is everything. If you feel comfortable and confident that your partner won't do things to hurt you and is not going to cheat on you, then you may have a winning team. 

You support each other. 

The world can be a scary place, and one of the best parts about having a partner is having someone on your side when the going gets tough. 

If you feel like your partner believes in your dreams and is there to listen when you need to talk something out, that's a big part of a long-lasting relationship. 

"Asking your partner how they are doing sometimes without even sharing your own personal issues allows you to be completely available to them," said Hershenson. "Listening to others' problems and lending an ear is a good way to "get out of your head" and let your partner know you are fully present to listen to them."

couple friends women

You hold each other accountable. 

Partnerships mean being kind, but it also means speaking your truth when they do something that upsets you. Staying quiet doesn't lead to happiness, so knowing when to call your partner out in a healthy way will only make your love stronger and last longer.

"If your you or your partner is upset with the other person talk it out without getting defensive," said Hershenson. "Acknowledge what your part was (even if it was simply upsetting them) and discuss what you could do differently in the future."

If you are both able to admit when you're wrong, it will cause your fighting time to be cut down and will prevent simple misunderstandings from turning into something much bigger.  

You show physical love. 

Though it's important to show your partner love and support through your words, keeping up some form of physical love is important. This doesn't just have to be sex — making sure to give your partner a kiss when you leave for work or holding their hand while running errands are other, more subtle ways to connect physically. 

"Whether it's a kiss hello or goodbye, snuggling on the couch or holding hands; even non-sexual touching builds connection between partners," Hershenson said. 

Even if it doesn't come naturally, keeping up a routine of showing physical affection can make all of the difference. 

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: A new dating service matches people by smell

Brooklyn Beckham and Chloë Grace Moretz showed some online PDA — and fans are loving their reconciliation

$
0
0

Brooklyn Beckham Chloe Grace moretz

The INSIDER Summary:

  • Brooklyn Beckham and Chloë Grace Moretz have been commenting on and tagging each other in flirty posts, making fans think that they back together. 
  • They reportedly broke up in September 2016, but have clearly been spending some time together lately. 
  • They commented "love you" to each other, but haven't confirmed that they're dating again. 

Brooklyn Beckham and Chloë Grace Moretz have done a pretty good job at keeping fans guessing about their relationship status, but this week they added more fuel to rumors that they're back together. 

Beckham and Moretz have been a rumored couple since 2014, but kept things on the down-low until they walked the red carpet as a couple at the premiere of Moretz's movie "Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising" in May of 2016. But the couple apparently split pretty quickly after that, and reportedly broke up in September 2016

But the former couple hasn't been able to shake rumors that they're back together recently, and their social media behavior isn't doing much to quiet the speculation. Moretz apparently re-followed Beckham in August and they've been trading compliments on each other's photos. 

Moretz also posted a photo of Beckham in a car and captioned it "8.27.17 NY," which means they have at least been hanging out. 

8.27.17 NY

A post shared by Chloe Grace Moretz (@chloegmoretz) on Sep 20, 2017 at 4:15pm PDT on

That may seem innocent enough, but this week, things escalated. Beckham posted an Instagram of himself watching "Game of Thrones," and tagged Moretz. The caption reads: "These nights are my favourite ❤️. Missing my girl."

These nights are my favourite ❤️. Missing my girl

A post shared by bb (@brooklynbeckham) on Sep 17, 2017 at 10:25am PDT on

Now Beckham posted a photo of Moretz's head with the caption "Thinking of this one xx." Moretz commented "Love you" and Beckham returned the favor with a "Love you more."

Thinking of this one xx

A post shared by bb (@brooklynbeckham) on Sep 20, 2017 at 12:35pm PDT on

Their fans, of course, caught wind to the exchange and were understandably freaking out in the comments. 

"Ohhhh my heart!!!! I'm in love," one wrote. 

"OMFG this made my day, finally they are back together!!!!!" another wrote.

"I freaking ship this couple so much 😭😍 since the day that they broke up, I knew that they were going to get back together. My heart omfg," a fan wrote. 

Of course nothing is official until Moretz and Beckham announce it themselves, but them getting back together doesn't seem to be too far off, if it hasn't happened already. 

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: An Alabama high school 'resegregated' after years of being a model of integration — here's what happened after


11 celebrity couples who broke up before ultimately getting married — and are still together

$
0
0

Will and kate

It's easy to believe that all celebrity couples have a fairytale romance, but many have admitted that their trip to the altar wasn't always easy. In fact, some took time apart during their romantic journey. 

We've rounded up all the couples that almost didn't end up together forever, and had at least one break up on the path to their wedding day. 

Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard

Despite picture of true love now, Kristen Bell revealed to PopSugar that her now-husband Dax Shepard actually broke up with her shortly after they began dating. 

"He sat me down and said, 'I can't have this right now. I think you're wonderful, but I am still dating other people,'" she said. "And then I, like, liquefied and fell to the ground, but I felt incredibly respected that he had the balls to tell me we weren't in the same place."

Of course, shortly after, he knew he made a mistake.

"He called me and he was like, 'I don't know what I was thinking. I was dating someone else but they're just not as interesting as you, and I don't know what I'm doing,' and he came back," Bell told PopSugar. 

Shepard and Bell got married in 2013 so everything obviously worked out for them, but she said that she doesn't let him forget that they almost were never married. 

"But I still always remind him of when he broke up with me," she told PopSugar.

 



Chrissy Teigen and John Legend

They are the internet's favorite couple now, but John Legend revealed to The Guardian that his relationship with Chrissy Teigen was almost over after a particularly stressful day. 

"I was really stressed and busy," Legend said. "I was just like: 'I’d just be happier single right now.'" 

Well Teigen wasn't having it; she told him no, they weren't breaking up. 

Technically this wasn't a real breakup. Teigen later tweeted clarifying that she recognized that Legend was just having a particularly tough day. 

"It wasn't a a typical breakup," she tweeted. "He was on tour and his voice hurt and he was being a whiny face about everything and so yeah, I was like 'no.'"

Still it sure makes for a funny story knowing now how happy the couple is now. 



Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo

Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo may be proud parents and a happily married couple today, but once upon a 2013 they ended things in a kind of messy way.  

The couple began dating in 2012 after Levine broke up with Prinsloo's friend and fellow Victoria's Secret model Anne Vyalitsyna. Levine and Prinsloo dated until May 2013, when he reportedly began dating Sports Illustrated supermodel Nina Agdal.

But that relationship was short-lived. By July 2013, Levine and Prinsloo got back together and got engaged. They were married in June 2014, and Prinsloo gave birth to daughter Dusty Rose in September 2016. The couple is expecting another child together.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

A 25-year-old star hits back at people who are pressuring her to publicly label her sexuality

$
0
0

Demi Lovato

The INSIDER Summary:

  • A blogger criticized Demi Lovato for not labeling her sexuality publicly.
  • Lovato hit back, saying that she doesn't want who she's attracted to turning into a headline.
  • She hinted that she'll discuss her sexuality in her new documentary. 


The rumor mill went into overdrive last week when Demi Lovato was seen holding hands with another woman. Lovato hasn't spoken out about the photos or confirmed that she's romantically involved with her, but she didn't keep silent when critics knocked her — and now she's argued that she shouldn't have to "label" herself on Twitter.

It all started when Lovato gave an interview with PrideSource and declined to label her sexuality after hinting that she may be bisexual. She said the decision to stay mum was a personal one and that she didn't want her sexuality being made into a headline. 

"I just feel like everyone’s always looking for a headline and they always want their magazine or TV show or whatever to be the one to break what my sexuality is," she told them. "I feel like it’s irrelevant to what my music is all about. I stand up for the things that I believe in and the things that I’m passionate about, but I like to keep my personal life as private as possible when it comes to dating and sexuality and all that stuff just because it has nothing to do with my music."

Demi Lovato

This caused blogger Noah Michelson to write a piece criticizing Lovato for not openly labeling herself and discussing her sexuality. When he tweeted out a link to his Huffington Post blog on the subject, Demi and her fans were quick to take him down. 

"Expectant and rude," Lovato replied to the tweet."Watch my documentary and chill out."

Lovato continued to speak out against the piece on her own Twitter account, saying that more about her sexuality would be revealed on her terms in her new documentary "Demi Lovato: Simply Complicated" which drops September 29. 

"Just because I'm refuse [sic] to label myself for the sake of a headline doesn't mean I'm not going to stand up for what I believe in," she tweeted

"If you're that curious about my sexuality, watch my documentary. But I don't owe anybody anything," the singer concluded.

Although visibility of sexualities and gender identities can be important, not everyone finds strength and validation within a label. It seems like Lovato has a pretty good handle on what she's comfortable with and won't be shamed into speaking about who she's attracted to.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Demi Lovato is a badass MMA fighter

Khloe Kardashian was initially told Lamar Odom died when he overdosed — it was 'the most traumatic thing'

$
0
0

Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom OD

The INSIDER Summery:

  • Khloe Kardashian says she was initially told ex-Lamar Odom died after he overdosed in October 2015. 
  • Khloe's sister Kim was the first to hear and relay the misinformation.
  • The reality star said she screamed when she first heard the news, and found the experience traumatic. 

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" has gifted fans with an inside look at the lives of the famous family, allowing them to witness good and bad times — like when Khloe Kardashian's ex-husband Lamar Odom overdosed in October 2015.

What fans didn't realize at the time, however, was that the experience was much more traumatic than it appeared.

People shared a clip from the upcoming 10 year anniversary special, in which the family members say they were initially told the former NBA star died. As Kendall Jenner explains in the clip, she received a text from her older sister, Kim Kardashian-West, with the news. 

"It had said Lamar passed away," Kendall says. "And I immediately started sobbing on the plane."

Shortly after, however, she received another text saying that her former brother-in-law was not dead, but "not doing well."

So where did this false information come from? Kim says that someone made a fake account and sent her the wrong information, an act that sent the entire family on an emotional roller coaster ride. 

"She fell [and] screamed on the plane," Kim says of her sister Khloe. 

"To think and to go through the motions as if someone has passed away is the most traumatic thing to do and then to know they’re really alive, it was too many emotions, I think, for any of us to handle," Khloe tells host Ryan Seacrest. 

Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom Interview

The story of Khloe and Lamar's relationship is made for TV; filled with love, betrayal, and heartbreak. According to ET, the two met in August 2009 and got married a month later — an event which was filmed for "Keeping Up With The Kardashians."

Though the couple shared many amazing moments as husband and wife, even earning their own spin-off show on E!, Khloe's rise to fame and Lamar's alleged drug use and infidelity eventually led to the couple's split in 2013. The divorce proceedings were put on hold, however, after Lamar suffered from an overdose in 2015, according to E!.

Khloe cared for Odom during his hospital stay and recovery process, showing that she still had love for her former husband. But that was not enough to keep them together.

"I will always like love Lamar and be his friend but it's time for me to start the next chapter of my life," Khloe said in an episode of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians," according to E!.

Lamar Odom Khloe Kardashian

Their divorce was finalized in December 2016, according to Us Weekly. Khloe is currently seeing Tristan Thompson and hopes to get married and start a family with him some day, giving fans something to look forward to in the next season. 

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Here are all the major changes coming to your iPhone September 19

A relationship psychologist says he hard a hard time with the transition to fatherhood — here's his best advice for any new parent

$
0
0

dad with baby

Eli Finkel's take on parenting is perhaps best summed up in his description of his baby as a "puking piece of adorableness."

Time was, he or his wife would want to spend the night out with friends; the other would send them off, no problem. Once their baby arrived and his wife would go out, Finkel said, he would now be solely responsible for this, well, puking piece of adorableness.

Finkel is a psychologist at Northwestern University and a professor at the Kellogg School of Management. In his new book, "The All-or-Nothing Marriage," Finkel both explains why modern marriage is so hard and offers some guidelines for strengthening your own relationship.

In one section, he describes how parenting can take a toll on a marriage, and admits that he was one of the 25% of men who suffer from postpartum depression. When he visited the Business Insider office in September, he said he was surprised — and somewhat dismayed — by how much having a kid changed his life.

To expectant parents, or to people who hope to one day have kids, he said the key to survival is adjusting your expectations.

Here's how Finkel described his own experience: "I just felt like everything that I had enjoyed doing in my life was gone, and replaced with a lack of sleep. I did love my child of course, but the way that it affected my life was depressing for me."

Finkel's personal experience affected his marriage, putting some distance between him and his wife. It took a while for them to reestablish intimacy. Adjusting their expectations helped.

In the book, Finkel describes a post-baby vacation with his wife that wasn't nearly as enjoyable as it used to be. On that trip, they decided to stop shooting for the stars. He writes:

"Seeking bliss through the marriage — particularly looking to each other for assistance with personal growth and self-expression — just made things worse. So we just stopped trying. We put our heads down and focused on putting one foot in front of the other.

"That approach worked. The disappointment became less acute. And, eventually, we rediscovered each other."

By the time he and his wife had a second kid, Finkel told Business Insider, he and his wife had "recalibrated":

"Both of us understood that this isn't going to be the time when we're going to enjoy each other in the marriage the way we used to. This isn't going to be the time when our spouse is going to be as attentive to us and as responsive. This isn't going to be a time when we're really going to have that much alone, well-rested time together. And how disappointed are we going to be about that?"

The transition to having a second baby went much more smoothly.

Other scientists have studied the transition to parenting, and the "buffers" that protect against a decline in marital satisfaction. According to Alyson Fearnely Shapiro, then at the University of Washington, two of those buffers are "being aware of what is going on in your spouse's life and being responsive to it" and "approaching problems as something you and you partner can control and solve together as a couple."

The takeaway here is that you can never fully prepare for having a kid — but you can prepare for your life to change in some capacity, and you can talk to your partner about how you'll each help each other through the low points.

SEE ALSO: A relationship psychologist has bad news for couples who plan on being married for life

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: A family therapist says you are not 'responsible for your kids'

A 'Vampire Diaries' star revealed he tossed his wife's birth control when they decided to start a family — and that's a huge problem

$
0
0

Ian somerhalder nikki reed

The INSIDER Summary:

  • Ian Somerhalder and Nikki Reed shared the story of how they conceived their child on a podcast. 
  • Reed reveled that Somerhalder actually flushed her birth control pills down the toilet. 
  • This is disturbing not only for health reasons but because Somerhalder seemed to make the decision himself that the couple would have a baby. 


Having a baby is a huge decision for every couple. It should be one that is carefully thought out and one that all parties involved are consenting to. 

It should not involve throwing out someone's contraception in an effort to decide your partner is getting pregnant. But Ian Somerhalder apparently did just that when he and Nikki Reed conceived their first child, Bodhi. 

Somerhalder and Reed appeared on Dr. Berlin's Informed Pregnancy podcast, as first noted by Women's Health, where Reed revealed that catalyst for her pregnancy was pretty much decided by Somerhalder.

"[He] threw out all my birth control pills," Reed said.

Somerhalder at this point decided to explain his decision, saying that he and Reed had discussed having a baby together and decided they wanted to. But he apparently decided to take matters into his own hands before Reed did. 

"We decided that we wanted to have children together, and it was just time. But unbeknownst to poor Nikki, she didn't realize that I was going to go in her purse and take out her birth control," he said. "By the way, it was the beginning of the pack, so I had to pop all those suckers out."

Wow. What a burden for someone to have to dispose of a whole pack of birth control. The nerve of some people to have a fully stocked medical supply of pills that they regularly take each month.   

nikki reed and ian somerhalder

Contraception is a very personal decision to each person. People of all gender identities take it not only to prevent pregnancy, but to limit the effects of painful periods, endometriosis, acne, and more. Taking away birth control for some people would be like cutting off any other important medication — because it is an important medication. 

But say Reed is lucky enough just to use birth control pills as contraception — your body can still go through some big changes when coming off of the pill cold turkey, even when you're in "good health," including heavy bleeding, cramps, and mood swings. 

On top of that, Reed made a choice about her body and Somerhalder didn't respect that.

The only person who can make a decision about a person's contraception is that person. If Reed was reaching into her purse to take another pill, she was clearly making the decision to still use birth control pills as contraception. Maybe she would have stopped tomorrow, the next week, or never, but it should have been up to her to decide, regardless of what conversations were had.

Somerhalder was quick to point out that the pair had already made the decision to have children before he popped the pills into the toilet. But apparently, he also has a six-minute video of Reed "freaking out" that her birth control was gone. That doesn't sound like a woman who is empowered and consenting in her decision to have a child. 

Consent can only be given in that moment — just because they had a prior conversation about it, doesn't mean Reed doesn't reserve the right to change her mind. By taking away Reed's pills, Somerhalder took away her bodily autonomy. He made the decision for her and decided that he knew better than she did. 

At no point when popping out 28 pills did it cross Somerhalder's mind that maybe this is a super messed up thing to do to the woman that you've promised to be a fair and supportive life partner to. 

Nikki Reed Ian Somerhalder

And in case you think I'm being unfair to the guy, Somerhalder admitted on the podcast that he basically made the decision for Reed to get pregnant himself. 

"Actually, now thinking about it, I guess I kind of decided," he said.

At least he's self-aware. 

There are plenty of ways to go about having children. Ideally, this should start with a long discussion and end with you both consciously making the decision to conceive a baby. It should not involve a terrible, panic-filled moment of realizing that the decision has been made for you. 

I am not married to Ian Somerhalder. For all I know, he could be a dream husband in every other scenario. But what he did here was not OK, and it's troubling to hear him laughing and seeming not to realize that at the very least he betrayed his wife's trust. At worst, he put her health in danger.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: This company makes molds of your baby belly

'Vampire Diaries' actor Ian Somerhalder breaks silence on birth control controversy with wife Nikki Reed

$
0
0

Nikki Reed Ian Somerhalder

The INSIDER Summary:

  • Ian Somerhalder and Nikki Reed shared the story of how they conceived their child on a podcast.
  • Reed revealed Somerhalder thrown away her birth control pills after the couple decided to have children.
  • The story sounded like reproductive coercion to some people.
  • Now Somerhalder and Reed put out a statement clarifying their position.
  • "If this somehow sheds a light on a topic that definitely needs some mainstream attention, then we are grateful for the unintended consequence [...] We are two happily married people who chose TOGETHER to have a baby."


Husband and wife actor duo Ian Somerhalder and Nikki Reed have found themselves in the middle of a contentious news cycle after the couple told a controversial story about how their first child was conceived.

Somerhalder and Reed appeared on Dr. Berlin's Informed Pregnancy podcast, as first noted by Women's Health, and said after they decided together it was time to have children, Somerhalder threw away Reed's birth control.

"[He] threw out all my birth control pills," Reed said.

"We decided that we wanted to have children together, and it was just time. But unbeknownst to poor Nikki, she didn't realize that I was going to go in her purse and take out her birth control," Somerhalder said. "By the way, it was the beginning of the pack, so I had to pop all those suckers out."

Nikki Reed Ian Somerhalder Getty red carpet

As my colleague Kristin Salaky wrote on Friday when the news broke, this was concerning to many who believed the story made it sound as if Somerhalder was really making the decision for Reed. 

Reed and Somerhalder have now since released statements defending Somerhalder's actions and saying the story was being misinterpreted by media outlets. When they both told the story, it was in a lighthearted tone. 

On Friday, Reed posted a screenshot of a note she typed out, which was peppered with sarcasm and anger at the way certain people had reported the story.

Here's the full message:

Quote from an article this morning claiming my husband tried to "force (me) into pregnancy?!" Oh and my favorite line "That is some unconsented bulls--- right there."

My response: Yep. When you actually listen to the podcast (which I'm sure you didn't) you'll hear how UNFORCED I felt. Also, "unconsented" bulls--- is you speaking on my behalf in a story admittedly taken out of context for the purpose of stirring up drama WITHOUT my approval. Don't talk about consent to me.

And lastly, how dare you try to cast a dark shadow over one of the happiest most memorable days of my life — you're not only disrespecting me but my baby. Oh and next time you try to stand up for women by writing an article "about women's rights," try properly conveying the way I felt. It's a shame that this was your way in. You have a platform, write about things that matter by using truthful stories, not gossip. Thanks and goodbye.

— Nikki.

Then on Saturday, both Somerhalder and Reed tweeted and Instagrammed a joint response. This one had a much different tone.

Here's the full message:

To anyone who has been affected by reproductive coercion, we are deeply sorry. That is an extremely serious issue, and women's rights is something that is incredible important to both of us. It is something we've been very vocal about, and something that is very close to our hearts.

We never expected a lighthearted interview we did poking fun at EACH OTHER and how WE chose together to get pregnant, a goofy moment in Barcelona with our two best friends and the anticipation of the start of our journey together as we went from two to three, to turn into something representing a very serious matter.

However, if this somehow sheds a light on a topic that definitely needs some mainstream attention, then we are grateful for the unintended consequence. It's a shame that outlets chose this as their way into a very serious discussion, as we are certainly not qualified to be the faces of this topic. We are two happily married people who chose TOGETHER to have a baby. The end.

Love,

Nikki and Ian

You can listen to Dr. Berlin's Informed Pregnancy podcast episode featuring Reed and Somerhalder's story to hear the full tale.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Here are all the major changes coming to your iPhone September 19

Here's why you shouldn't be jealous of your narcissistic ex's new partner

$
0
0

couple happy

If you've just got out of a relationship with a narcissist, you should congratulate yourself. You tore yourself away from the abuse, the lies, and the mind-games, and you can finally start to heal.

If you ended the relationship, they might still be trying to get back into your life. This is why the "no contact" stage — where you completely erase them from your life — is so important for you to move on.

However, if they broke up with you, you might be still grieving for what you once had. It's important to remember that you're mourning the person you thought they were, not the abusive, cruel manipulator the really are.

A certain amount of time after the break-up — usually not long, when it comes to narcissists — your ex will find someone new. Whether you're happy they're out of your life or not, this can still be upsetting to hear.

The narcissist will go out of their way to ensure you know about their new relationship. This could be through social media posts, mutual connections, or even directly contacting you about it. They might even thank you, to tell you how much they appreciated your time together and how much they learned from the break up, to be a better person for their new partner.

If you can't resist the temptation to look the new love birds up on Facebook, you might see everything you thought you had in the beginning of your relationship. You'll see happy faces, gushing posts, and what looks like domestic bliss.

The person who made your self-esteem drop to the floor appears to have completely vanished.

You might start to question your own worth, and ask yourself questions like, "Why couldn't they be like that for me?,""Wasn't I enough?," or "Was it my fault?"

Yes, you were enough. No, it wasn't your fault. What you have to remember is this is all an act. When the narcissist met you, they put on the same mask. You had that smiling, happy face once, before the narcissist showed their true colours.

The same story repeats itself.

According to psychologists, therapists and neuroscientists, narcissists can never change. They are obsessed with the idealised image of themselves, which they believe to be superior to everybody else. They are deeply miserably people with low self-esteem, so they create an inflated version of themselves in their minds, giving them a false sense of superiority.

Small spats which all normal couples go through turn into never-ending circular arguments with narcissists, because they only see fault in others.

"They are perfect in their mind,"Shannon Thomas, a psychologist and author of the book "Healing from Hidden Abuse," told Business Insider. "So when we're trying to have a normal back and forth about how we're going to work through these bumps, psychological abusers will be very resistant to that, because there's 'nothing wrong with them.'"

This contempt they see for everyone else around them is deep-rooted. This means sooner or later, that hatred and disgust will be pointed towards the person they are in a relationship with. A romantic attachment doesn't protect you from being the target.

Narcissists can never really love anyone.

It doesn't matter how much they bombed you with love at the beginning with gifts, compliments, and undivided attention, because this wasn't their true self. That's why it's important to remember that no matter how happy and loved-up they look with their new partner, it's only a matter of time before they start being belittled and insulted too.

Narcissists can never really love anyone. Every relationship they have is transactional, meaning they are always looking into what they can get out of it. Sooner or later, they will suck their partner dry of money, enthusiasm, self-esteem, or all three, and they discard them without looking back.

That's why you should never be jealous of your narcissistic ex's new partner — they haven't changed. They aren't fixed. They aren't happier with this new person. They are merely going through the same first steps of the relationship you did, and you should be glad you're free from it.

After the idealisation phase, which the new relationship is in, devaluation starts, which is when the narcissist starts to tear down your confidence and makes you miserable.

So instead of worrying that you were the problem, tell yourself this: someone else's actions are never your fault. We are all responsible for what we say and how we act, and if your narcissistic ex decided to make you feel worthless and unloved, it was never because of something you did. It was because they can't deal with the fact that we are all imperfect.

You escaped the worst relationship you are ever likely to have, and you survived, because you are strong. You're likely to still feel an attachment to the relationship because of something called trauma bonding, but these feelings will eventually fade, and you'll look back one day and thank your lucky stars you got away.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: We went to a McDonald’s in Fiji and ate food you can't get in America


Kim Kardashian revealed the moment she fell in love with Kanye West, and it'll melt your heart

$
0
0

kim kanye

The INSIDER Summary:

  • Kim Kardashian revealed the moment that she fell in love with now-husband Kanye West. 
  • West invited her to Paris to see his fashion show, and Kardashian said that they fell in love while in the European city. 
  • She said that she suddenly felt loved and supported, and began dating West immediately. 

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were friends for years before they famously began dating. But Kardashian finally revealed the moment that they turned their friendship into something more. 

During the "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" 10th anniversary special, Kardashian told host Ryan Seacrest that she and West's relationship turned romantic right before her infamous 72-day marriage to basketball player Kris Humphries. 

Despite her doubts about the marriage, she said that she still feels like she had to go through with the marriage to get clarity on what she wanted with West. 

"Right before I got married to Kris Humphries we were talking and I just went a different direction," she said. "I think I had to go through that to figure out what I wanted."

After her marriage with Humphries ended, Kardashian said that West invited her to come stay with him in Paris where he was holding a fashion show. 

Kim and Kanye

"After my break up I was feeling really low and down and he was like 'Just come to Paris and see my fashion show,'" Kardashian revealed. "He jokes that he put on this whole fashion show just to get a date with me."

This was the moment, Kardashian said, she knew that West was the one she wanted to be with. She said that they began dating during the trip, and the rest is history. 

"I went and I stayed with him and that's where we started dating," she said. "I swear from the moment I landed and was there, I fell madly in love with him and I thought 'Oh my god, why didn't I do this sooner? This is like what real life is like and love and fun and real support. This is what it is.'"

It's great to hear that things worked out well for Kardashian and West, despite an unlikely beginning to their relationship. Although going through a highly-publicized, short-lived marriage is hardly ideal, Kardashian's feeling of love and support from West during that time is wonderful to hear. 

 

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: There's a 'third' Jenner kid in the Kardashian clan that no one's ever heard of

The one unlikely facial feature that could explain your high sex drive

$
0
0

couple kissing in bed

The INSIDER Summary:

  • A study claims that wider-faced people tend to have higher sex drives than those with other face shapes.
  • Researchers chock this up to a higher level of testosterone. 
  • They also claim men with wider faces tend to have shorter relationships and cheat more often. 

There's a lot you may be able to tell by someone's face: their emotions, how much sleep they're getting, or even if they're lying. But a new study is claiming that you may also be able to tell how high their sex drive is based off of one facial feature. 

The study, led by Steven Arnocky of Nipissing University in Canada, involved researchers interviewing 145 heterosexual people in relationships, and then 314 students. They answered questions about their dating pasts and sexual preferences. 

The study claims that people who have shorter and wider faces tend to have higher sex drives than those of any other facial types studied. Researchers chocked this up to variations in testosterone levels developed during puberty, which results in different facial shapes.

But the results for wider-faced people weren't all positive. Researchers also claimed that people who identify as men and have wider faces and square jaws tend to have shorter romantic relationships and have a higher chance of committing infidelity. 

couple bed sex

Researchers say that these men are perceived as "more aggressive, more dominant, more unethical, and more attractive for short-term relationships" than those of different facial shapes.

This study should be taken with a grain of salt — of course people of all various facial types can have committed and fulfilling relationships and can also choose to cheat. Sex drive can be affected by your health, diet, and mental health, not just your jaw size. But it is interesting how hormone levels can be seen on our faces and can show a pattern of behavior. 

This doesn't mean that you should be screening your Tinder matches for anyone with a square jaw, but it is an interesting look to see how the makeup of our bodies can have real-life effects. 

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: People with these personality traits have more and better sex

There's an easy way to strengthen a struggling marriage — and too many people ignore it

$
0
0

Happy couple

Reading Eli Finkel's new book, "The All-or-Nothing Marriage," I had a moment where I felt part enlightened, part deflated, part empowered. Suffice it to say it was weird.

I'd reached the point in the book where Finkel, who is a psychologist at Northwestern University and a professor at the Kellogg School of Management, talks about ways to strengthen a struggling marriage — temporarily or permanently. The bit that really got me was Finkel's simple directive to ask less of your relationship.

This counterintuitive piece of advice makes sense in the context of Finkel's overall philosophy on relationships.

"All-or-nothing marriage" is the term Finkel and colleagues developed to describe modern relationships. We're placing more expectations on our relationships than ever before — we want our partner to be our best friend, our lover, our intellectual sparring partner, maybe our co-parent — while simultaneously investing less time and energy in the relationship. The inevitable result is that we're disappointed.

Finkel says sometimes you'll have the wherewithal to spend time and energy perfecting your partnership so it matches your ideal vision. Other times, you won't. Maybe you just had a baby; maybe you're super stressed at work; maybe there's a health crisis going on in your family.

Asking less of the relationship means adjusting your expectations of what your partner is capable of doing for you.

When he visited the Business Insider office in September, Finkel said, "There's no rule that says you absolutely have to ask [certain] things of your marriage. We get to choose that we're going to expect the marriages to do [some] sorts of things, but not [some] other sorts of things. And our spouse also gets a choice."

He went on: "If you find yourself chronically disappointed in one element of your marriage, one of the really good ways of dealing with that is to think about: Is it really essential that I try to meet this need in particular through the marriage? … There are many things we look to our partner to help us meet that we could just as easily look [for] somewhere else."

That is to say: Maybe your partner doesn't care to have philosophical debates late into the night — they'd rather be sleeping or watching TV. Or, maybe they're not the type to plan a big bash for every one of your birthdays, even though you'd love them to be.

Instead of feeling disappointed in these situations, accept them for what they are. Most importantly, try to get those needs met elsewhere. Maybe you've got a coworker who absolutely loves to talk existentialism. Maybe your childhood best friend would be delighted to be your party planner. Your partner doesn't have to your everything.

This isn't the most romantic idea. I kind of hated it when I first read about it. But it's a realistic — and freeing — approach to one of the hardest relationships you'll ever form.

SEE ALSO: How to survive a new baby without destroying your marriage, according to a relationship psychologist and father of two

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: RELATIONSHIP EXPERT: Trying to meet your partner’s needs is 'the most horrific advice I could imagine'

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle finally showed up in public together — here are the pictures

$
0
0

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry

The INSIDER Summary:

  • Prince Harry and Meghan Markle finally made their public debut as a couple.
  • They've reportedly been dating since July 2016, but attended the Invictus Games in Toronto together on Monday. 
  • They held hands and looked so happy during the tennis event. 

It's no secret that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are ridiculously in love, but the normally low-key couple finally stepped out together publicly Monday and they could not have been cuter. 

Their first public appearance came when they attended a tennis event during the Invictus Games in Toronto, where Markle lives when she films her show "Suits." They both attended the opening ceremony of the games, but sat apart. 

meghan markle and harry

The couple looked totally comfortable as they held hands and whispered to each other during the match. Though royal wedding hopefuls were hoping that Prince Harry had proposed to Markle when they went on vacation, there was no sign of an engagement ring in the photos. 

Meghan Markle and Harry

The pair has reportedly been dating for a little over a year, since July 2016. They kept their relationship very hush-hush for a while, but unfortunately, Harry had to release a statement confirming their relationship and condemning sexist, racist and invasive press about Markle in November 2016. 

Prince Harry meghan Markle

Markle finally spoke out about her love for the prince last month during an interview with Vanity Fair. 

"We're a couple," Markle said in the October issue of Vanity Fair. "We're in love. I'm sure there will be a time when we will have to come forward and present ourselves and have stories to tell, but I hope what people will understand is that this is our time. This is for us. It's part of what makes it so special, that it's just ours. But we're happy."

Prince harry meghan markle

Markle has made it clear that although she is dating a prince, she wants to stay true to herself and keep doing the things that she is passionate about. 

"We were very quietly dating for about six months before it became news, and I was working during that whole time, and the only thing that changed was people's perception," Markle said. "Nothing about me changed. I'm still the same person that I am, and I've never defined myself by my relationship."

Meghan markle prince harry

It's clear that the two have immense respect for each other and care about each other a lot. And although it may not be easy to date a prince, from the looks of these pictures, their relationship seems to be stronger than ever. 

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Prince Harry just danced on stage and sang along with Coldplay

16 psychological tricks to make people like you immediately

$
0
0

laughing fun coworker friends nice laugh talk

It's hard to say exactly why you like someone.

Maybe it's their goofy smile; maybe it's their razor-sharp wit; or maybe it's simply that they're easy to be around. You just like them. 

But scientists generally aren't satisfied with answers like that, and they've spent years trying to pinpoint the exact factors that draw one person to another.

Below, we've rounded up some of their most intriguing findings. Read on for insights that will cast your current friendships in a new light — and will help you form better relationships, faster.

SEE ALSO: 12 things you're doing that make people dislike you immediately

1. Copy the person you're with

This strategy is called mirroring, and involves subtly mimicking another person's behavior. When talking to someone, try copying their body language, gestures, and facial expressions.

In 1999, New York University researchers documented the "chameleon effect," which occurs when people unconsciously mimic each other's behavior. That mimicry facilitates liking.

Researchers had 72 men and women work on a task with a partner. The partners (who worked for the researchers) either mimicked the other participant's behavior or didn't, while researchers videotaped the interactions. At the end of the interaction, the researchers had participants indicate how much they liked their partners.

Sure enough, participants were more likely to say that they liked their partner when their partner had been mimicking their behavior.



2. Spend more time around the people you're hoping to befriend

According to the mere-exposure effect, people tend to like other people who are familiar to them. 

In one example of this phenomenon, psychologists at the University of Pittsburgh had four women pose as students in a university psychology class. Each woman showed up in class a different number of times. When experimenters showed male students pictures of the four women, the men demonstrated a greater affinity for those women they'd seen more often in class — even though they hadn't interacted with any of them.



3. Compliment other people

People will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality. This phenomenon is called spontaneous trait transference.

One study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that this effect occurred even when people knew certain traits didn't describe the people who had talked about them.

According to Gretchen Rubin, author of the book "The Happiness Project,""whatever you say about other people influences how people see you."

If you describe someone else as genuine and kind, people will also associate you with those qualities. The reverse is also true: If you are constantly trashing people behind their backs, your friends will start to associate the negative qualities with you as well.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider
Viewing all 3141 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images