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The latest news on Relationships from Business Insider
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    nicole kidman keith urban height difference

    • Men are an average of about 5 inches taller than women.
    • Scientific studies suggest that while women might say they have a preference for taller male partners, actual height differences in heterosexual couples aren't as wide as stated height preferences.
    • Shorter men do tend to marry younger and lower-educated women, and psychologists think that might be because they're "compensating" for their shortness.


    The average American woman, standing at just over 5 feet 3 inches tall, is around five and a half inches shorter than the average American man.

    It's a height difference that holds true in most places around the world, from Brazil to China. Men tend to universally level-off around five inches taller than women as fully-grown adults.

    Still, the science of what constitutes the "perfect" height difference for a modern couple is far from settled. 

    Women say they prefer tall men

    Shaquille O'Neal and Nicole Alexander height difference

    Social scientists who study online dating platforms find that when you're dating online, your height can alter your chances of finding love, a lot. Researchersconsistently find that women will say they prefer taller men online, and the taller women are, the more important they say it is that their partner be even taller. Men, likewise, tend to rate shorter women as more attractive. One 2005 study found that those preferences can play out in how often people approach each other online: women who were 6'3" tall received 40% fewer messages than women who were a more average 5'5", while men who were 6'3" and 6'4" got about 60% more messages than men who were 5'7" or 5'8".

    Polish scientists have shown that male and female preferences for a height difference (known scientifically as sexual dimorphism) change based on how tall they are, perhaps so that people can widen their own dating pool.

    But there are signs that these stated height preferences are a result of societal expectations, not evolutionary biases. Perceptions of the right height for a couple may be largely rooted in cultural expectations. One 2014 study in the Journal of Family Issues found through online surveys that daters "were not always able to articulate a clear reason why they possess their given height preference, but they somehow understood what was expected of them from the larger society."

    Adding more evidence to the pile, a 2013 study found that while short women and tall men might say they prefer sexually dimorphic pairings, their actual choices for mates didn't necessarily stick to such a strict criteria. And most men dating on eHarmony said they wanted a partner that was close to their own height, as FiveThirtyEight reported. 

    Being tall is a power play

    There's a history of power dynamics at play with height differences, and it extends beyond romance. A 2014 working paper from the National Bureau of Economic Research found that short men tend to marry younger and disproportionately lower-educated women.

    "Gender ideals are linked to stature such that tallness is associated with dominance, masculinity, and higher status among men," the authors said.

    tiger woods erica herman height difference

    Plenty of other studies have shown it's not just women who factor this in: tall men get a better deal when it comes to pay and status at work, too. They make more money, and they may even be more likely to get promoted. (Most Fortune 500 CEOs are taller than average men.) Evolutionary psychologists argue this is because being tall is a sign that a man can dominate a predator and protect his family. 

    Height, like other physical attributes, can be a "form of capital on the spousal market and then bargained with or compensated for within relationships."

    But some scientists think this ingrained social preference for tall husbands and fathers may not be doing us any good anymore. As one pair of sociologists from The University of North Texas and Rice put it, "in a society that encourages men to be dominant and women to be submissive, having the image of tall men hovering over short women reinforces" the very idea that men must be the aggressors and the chasers when it comes to romantic relationships. That's a paradigm that actresses, dominatrixes and porn stars are all working to challenge. 

    SEE ALSO: How women can wield power to get what they want at work and in their personal lives, according to a former dominatrix

    Join the conversation about this story »

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    Kim Kardashian Kanye

    It may seem like you were born knowing the term "Kimye," but Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have only been an official couple for about five years. 

    The pair, who started off as good friends, have certainly made it an eventful time though, so you'd be forgiven for forgetting a few things along the way. 

    We've rounded up the most crazy, heartbreaking, and touching moments from their time together. 

    2003-2006: Kanye and Kim met, and Kanye was smitten.

    The pair met and became friends in 2003, but Kim was dating rapper Ray-J at the time.  

    It started out pretty platonic, but Kanye later revealed it was when he saw a picture of Kardashian with her friend Paris Hilton that he knew he loved her. 

    "I just knew I wanted her to be my girl for a long time,"he told Ryan Seacrest in 2013. "I remember I saw a picture of her and Paris Hilton, and I remember telling my boy, 'Have you seen that girl Kim Kar-dijon?'"



    2008: Kanye featured Kim as Princess Leia in a comedy show.

    Later, West recruited Kardashian for a hip-hop puppet show called "Alligator Boots." 

    Though the show never took off, you can see the future Mr. and Mrs. West playing a stormtrooper and Princess Leia in her slave outfit here. It's clear that they had chemistry from the start.

     



    2009: Kanye did his first verse about Kim.

    Kanye performed a verse on Keri Hilson's single "Knock You Down" with the lines "You were always the cheerleader of my dreams / Seem to only date the head of football teams / And I was the class clown that always kept you laughing / We were never meant to be, baby we just happened."

    "You should leave your boyfriend now."

    TMZ asserted that the verse was about Kim, and seeing as Kim was dating football player Reggie Bush at the time, it's not too hard to believe. 



    See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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    Kim Kardashian Kanye West

    • Kanye West recently interviewed his friend and interior designer Axel Vervoordt for The Hollywood Reporter.
    • During the conversation, West compared Kim Kardashian West to an infamous historical figure.
    • "With my wife, I see her as a representation, as a Marie Antoinette of our time."
    • Fans are torn over whether a comparison to Marie Antoinette — who was the last queen of France, arrested and beheaded by her own people — should be a compliment.


    Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West have a love story for the ages. The couple is known for their extravagant displays of love and affection, and West has proven himself to be quite the attentive, doting husband

    However, even self-proclaimed geniuses slip up sometimes — and that seems to be the case with West's most recent declaration. In a conversation with his friend and interior designer Axel Vervoordt for The Hollywood Reporter, West compared his wife to a controversial historical figure.

    "I see her as a representation, as a Marie Antoinette of our time," West told Vervoordt. 

    💗

    A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on Apr 3, 2018 at 6:30pm PDT on

    Antoinette was the last queen of France before the French Revolution. She is most famously associated with the phrase "Let them eat cake," which she probably never said but was intended to demonstrate how out-of-touch and careless the aristocrats were during a time of great poverty and hunger.

    Although West did not elaborate on the thought, he did go on to say that Kardashian West is "a master of light" (while he himself is "a master of time"). It's unclear how the metaphors are connected, but it does seem clear that West meant the comparison to Antoinette to be a compliment.

    Twitter users, however, felt otherwise. Many pointed out that Antoinette was despised by her people and eventually beheaded.

    This is actually not the first time West has compared his wife to the 15-year-old monarch. In a 2016 cover story for Harper's Bazaar, he said that Kardashian West "represents our modern day Marie Antoinette" because of her polished image.

    "My wife is the face of the change of fashion, where designers who literally wouldn't let her sit in shows are now making entire collections based off of her shape," he said. "She gets hair and makeup every day, not just for a photo shoot. Why? Because every day is a photo shoot."

    Some fans on social media think that the comparison is fitting — perhaps because both women were very privileged, allegedly vain, and highly scrutinized from a young age.

    According to History.com, Antoinette — along with her husband, King Louis XVI — came to symbolize "all of the excesses of the reviled French monarchy," although "the nation’s difficulties were not the young queen's fault." The website also notes that she "became the target of a great deal of vicious gossip."

    marie antoinette

    Interestingly — although West has called Kardashian West his "muse" and praised her nude selfies as a "modern version of a painting" — he also told Vervoordt that her preferred social media platform, Instagram, can become a vehicle of misinformation and over-inflated egos.

    "We are all being attacked by things made not for the right reasons, whether from lack of education or lack of responsibility," West said. "There has to be a responsibility in design, whether it's apparel, tech, Instagram, where you get so many likes, so it's a dopamine that attacks your ego and your esteem."

    The interview is full of classic Kanye-isms that fans will love to unpack. You can read the whole thing here.

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    ryan reynolds alanis morrisette

    You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince (or princess). Even celebrities know that. Unfortunately for them, they don't get to forget about those frogs as easily as regular folks might. 

    With the paparazzi, the internet, and the many gossip magazines out there, their old flings will never die. But just because they won't die, doesn't mean they won't be forgotten from time to time. 

    Here are 50 celebrity relationships you've probably forgotten about by now. 

    Amy Daire contributed to a previous version of this post. 

    Keira Knightley and Jamie Dornan

    Knightley, who was starring in "Pirates of the Caribbean" at the time, dated Dornan back in the early 2000s.

    Well before the name Christian Grey had ever been thought up, Dornan was just a male model, a nobody, really, compared to the international movie star he was dating. That kind of pressure is what eventually led to their break up after two years of dating.

    "There is a big pressure when you go out with someone such as Keira,"Dornan told the Daily Mirror in 2006 after they broke up. "The man is meant to be the alpha in the relationship on the money and power front, and clearly I was not. You feel like you have to be dominant in other areas and that causes problems."



    Leonardo DiCaprio and Blake Lively

    From May to August 2011, these two gorgeous actors couldn't get enough of each other. They were spotted all over Europe holding hands and were seen together stateside before they ended their summer of love

    These infamously private stars never went on (or off) the record about their relationship, but it's all history now anyway. By October, Lively had started a relationship with her now husband, Ryan Reynolds.



    Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette

    It may be hard to imagine Reynolds with anyone but his current wife, Blake Lively, but well before she ever came along, he was with the talented Alanis Morissette. They started dating in 2002 and were together for two years before he popped the question in 2004.

    After two years, they broke off their engagement and went their separate ways in June 2006.



    See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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    women talking unhappy

    • A recent study found that the average adult needs to spend 50 hours of time with a person to consider them a casual friend. 
    • It also found that it takes approximately 200 hours to think of a person as a close friend.
    • In order to make lasting adult friendships with colleagues, it is important to remove the friendship from the workplace and spend time together outside the office.


    When you are a kid, gaining a best friend forever can happen in a single playdate. But when you grow up to be an adult, making and maintaining friendship gets harder. Suddenly, you need to compete with young babies, significant others, and fully-booked work schedules to find quality time and earn the title of "friend."

    But how much quality time do you need before that stranger becomes your pal? Get ready to block off a good chunk of time if you want to earn the elusive title of best friend.

    A new study published in the 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships'recently calculated that, on average, it takes about 50 hours of time with someone before you consider them a casual friend, 90 hours before you become real friends, and about 200 hours to become close friends.

    Just being around (and talking to) someone a lot doesn't equate to friendship

    To determine this, the study's author Jeffrey Hall, a communications professor at the University of Kansas, recruited adults in desperate need of friends in two experiments — people who had just moved to a new city in the past six months and college freshmen — and asked them to rate and track the degree of closeness and time spent together with a new person. "Results suggest that the chance of transitioning from casual friend to friend is greater than 50% after around 80-100 hr together," the study concluded.

    You do not have to be chatty to gain a friend, but you do need to invest in quality time. The study found that the portion of time spent talking together, or the fact that you spent time at school or work with them, were factors unrelated to friendship closeness. Just spending time in proximity together is not enough to become friends with someone, otherwise we would all be best buddies with the coworkers who see us more than our families.

    Relationships with our coworkers count as "closed systems wherein members have little influence on who else is included in the group," the research found. But these are not relationships of choice.

    "On one hand it is really easy to spend a lot of time with people as they are routinely in the same place at the same time as you," Hall told Ladders. "However, my study shows you can have co-workers you spend hundreds and hundreds of hours with and still not develop a friendship."

    You do not need to become besties with your coworkers todevelop meaningful relationships with them. But for those of us hoping to make the leap from "girl who I eat lunch at work with" to "friend I can count on in a crisis," Hall suggests that you need to take the relationship out of the workplace for it to become a friendship.

    The participants who did activities outside of work with someone, such as being invited to their home, were more likely to develop deeper relationships with them.

    "If those relationships stay at work, they are unlikely to become friends," Hall told Ladders. "To make close-system relationships into friendships, you have to move the relationship outside of the institutional system."

    SEE ALSO: 3 ways to become truly happy and more productive, according to Richard Branson

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    Cardi B Offset



    When Khloé Kardashian gave birth to her first child earlier this week, she had already been through a lot more than the challenges of pregnancy. The reality star had to weather persistent rumors that her baby's father — boyfriend Tristan Thompson of the Cleveland Cavaliers — had been cheating on her while she was pregnant. Though little more than a grainy video of Thompson kissing another woman has been offered as evidence of the basketball player's infidelity, there has been no shortage of backlash from Kardashian's supporters and Cavaliers fans. During Thompson's first post-scandal game, the player was booed by audience members decked in Cavs gear.

    Amid the harsh reactions from Kardashian's fanbase to dump Thompson, rapper Cardi B had a piece of advice for the new mom that went against the grain.

    "Just do what your heart feels like doing," Cardi said during a radio interview with Big Boy's Neighborhood. "Do what your heart feels like is right. At the end of the day, everybody wants to act like they're dating deacons and pastors and their relationship is perfect and you don't know what type of things are going on in their relationship."

    ❥The day I met you, my life changed. Thank you my love!❥

    A post shared by Khloé (@khloekardashian) on Dec 11, 2017 at 9:03am PST on

    Cardi offers a unique perspective on Kardashian's situation because, well, she's been through it, too. The hip-hop artist revealed that she was pregnant with fiancé and Migos rapper Offset last week during her debut hosting slot on "Saturday Night Live"…but that happy announcement was the payoff from the couple working through a cheating scandal of their own. In January, People wrote of an alleged sex tape Offset had made with another woman, but throughout all of the talk, Cardi has maintained that all relationships have flaws, and if you want to make them work, you have to work hard. "We had to fight for our love," she told Big Boy.

    Between Cardi's sharp self-awareness and Kardashian's dedication to her new family, one wonders if women are now navigating a post-cheating approach to relationships. While pop culture has long presented images of woman hysterically crying, throwing clothing over balconies, and writing venomous breakup albums when confronted with adultery, Cardi and Khloé's reactions seem to indicate a new method for modern romance: when something bad happens, get angry, but also breathe. Think about it, talk it over, and weigh what's worth salvaging in a relationship.

    These are things Beyoncé did throughout her 2016 masterpiece, "Lemonade," which chronicled her turbulent relationship with an unfaithful Jay-Z. Bey's lyrics volleyed between fury, jealousy, hurt, and pride, addressing the volcano of emotions that erupt with the news of being cheated on. But Beyoncé, as we all know, didn't burn everything down. She didn't forget either, but she forgave, and eventually moved on. Cardi, Khloé, and Bey are redefining what it means to be a powerful woman; flipping the narrative of the victim into the one who has the power to forgive … or not.

    Sign up here to get INSIDER's favorite stories straight to your inbox.

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    khloe kardashian tristan thompson

    • On Monday, Khloe Kardashian revealed that her baby girl's name is True Thompson on Twitter and Instagram.
    • The post might contain a clue about where her relationship stands with her boyfriend and True's father, Tristan Thompson.
    • On Tuesday, the Daily Mail and TMZ published footage of Tristan allegedly cheating on Khloe throughout her pregnancy with multiple women.
    • In her latest post, Khloe referred to herself and Tristan as a plural "us" and "we," and suggested that, along with True, they are a "family."
    • However, neither Khloe nor Tristan has publicly commented on the status of their relationship.


    On Monday, Khloe Kardashian revealed that she has named her baby girl True Thompson.

    The baby's name came as a surprise to most people, given the reports alleging that True's father Tristan Thompson was cheating on Khloe throughout her pregnancy with multiple women. Neither Khloe nor Tristan has publicly commented on the alleged indiscretions, which the Daily Mail initially reported on Tuesday, just days before Khloe gave birth to their daughter on Thursday.

    But Khloe's post announcing her baby girl's name on Twitter and Instagram could contain a valuable clue about where her relationship with Tristan currently stands. 

    "Our little girl, True Thompson, has completely stolen our hearts and we are overwhelmed with LOVE," the 33-year-old mom captioned a photo of pink baby items. "Such a blessing to welcome this angel into the family! Mommy and Daddy loooooove you True!"

    Her caption seems to suggest that she and Tristan will stay together.

    While it's not explicitly clear if Khloe will stay with Tristan from her post, she does begin the whole message with the word "Our," and continues to use the plural "we" to refer to herself and Tristan — seemingly, as a couple. 

    While it's no big surprise that Khloe would call herself "Mommy," she does mention Tristan by calling him "Daddy," implying that he is at least going to be involved in parenting with Khloe, even if they aren't together. We've also seen Khloe call Tristan "Daddy" a number of times, and long before he was a father to their child. True is Tristan's second child; he already has a son, Prince, from his ex, Jordan Craig — a model and blogger who he dated for two years until he stepped out with Khloe as a couple in September 2016, while Craig was six months pregnant.

    We are ready whenever you are little mama 🦋

    A post shared by Khloé (@khloekardashian) on Apr 9, 2018 at 6:24am PDT on

    Returning to Khloe's caption, it's filled with "love"— and even though it's mostly a cute message intended for her daughter, she acknowledges that her baby is part of a "family." Since the child has taken her father's last name, and not Kardashian as many of her fans had hoped given the cheating rumors, that family seems to be the one she and Tristan have built together. Although, it could also mean the Kardashians by extension.

    There have been conflicting reports about whether or not Khloe will stay with Tristan following the cheating reports.

    A source told People that Khloe has "basically already forgiven" Tristan after the birth of their daughter. The same unnamed source said that she is so happy to have had her baby that "she isn't even mad at Tristan right now."

    However, a Page Six report cites a source who said that Khloe was "ballistic" on seeing the photos that were allegedly of Tristan partying with another woman in New York City, and were published by the Daily Mail.

    A source told Us Weekly that Khloe's team was preparing to move her and her daughter back to Los Angeles, California. Khloe gave birth in Cleveland, Ohio, where she and Tristan — who is an NBA player for the Cleveland Cavaliers — had planned on raising their daughter. If Khloe does want to move back to LA, however, she may need to wait; gynecologist Dr. Mary Jane Minkin previously told INSIDER that parents should wait at least two weeks before flying with a newborn, but ideally a couple of months.

    We are ready whenever you are little mama 🦋

    A post shared by Khloé (@khloekardashian) on Apr 9, 2018 at 6:24am PDT on

    There's also a conspiracy theory that Khloe may have already known about Tristan's infidelities, or, if she didn't know, that the Kardashians may have known and had the power to control some of the coverage about the scandal, given Kris Jenner's friendly relationship with TMZ founder Harvey Levin. On Tuesday, TMZ published incriminating surveillance footage from October that showed Tristan appearing to cheat with two women in a Washington, DC, club.

    Of course, these are all reports citing unnamed sources, so until Khloe or Tristan explicitly confirm the status of their relationship, it's best to take what they say with a grain of salt. 

    While it's unclear where Khloe and Tristan are headed, for now they seem to be a happy family.

    From Khloe's latest post, they appear to be happy with the latest addition to their family. But then, you can't trust everything you see on social media.

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    work friends colleagues coworkers talking happy

    • Being pleasant to people at work has a number of benefits.
    • Another to add to the list is it can make you sleep better.
    • New research has shown that people stress about their work behaviour when they are at home in bed.
    • If they do this often, it can lead to insomnia.


    Some people are fortunate enough to call their colleagues their friends. Others aren't so lucky.

    Whatever your situation, it makes sense to be nice to the people you work with, because it means they're more likely to help you out. Also, it makes the working day more enjoyable.

    According to new research, published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, behaving well at work also has another surprising benefit — it can help you sleep better.

    Researchers from the University of Iowa asked 600 workers in the US and China about their workplace behaviour and sleep quality in three studies.

    In two of the studies, the employees reported their counterproductive work behaviours over ten work days, such as inappropriate behaviour, anger, aggression, gossiping, and blaming others. They also reported how they felt when off work and how well they slept.

    Results showed how being more counterproductive at work made people think about work in the evening, which could lead to insomnia.

    In the third study, employees had to recall how they behaved at work in the past. Those who were asked to think back to bad behaviour had more trouble falling asleep than those who reminisced about more routine things.

    Overall, the researchers concluded that acting badly at work significantly affected participants' thoughts in the evening, which in turn caused problems sleeping.

    "After people engage in bad workplace behaviors, they come to realise such bad deeds threaten their positive moral self-image, which creates stress," said Zhenyu Yuan, a management and organisations doctoral student at UI, and lead researcher of the study. "As a result, they may keep ruminating over their stress from work, and thus have trouble falling and staying asleep at night."

    He added that managers could help reduce counterproductive behaviours of their staff, as employees who don't get enough sleep are less engaged, less productive, and have an increased risk of getting injured.

    SEE ALSO: 8 reasons why you should always say 'good morning' to your coworkers

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    Couple lake Fremont CA

    At the very beginning of a new relationship, it's not uncommon for people to be on their best behavior, so to speak, and to be overly conscientious and hide any characteristics that they view as flaws. As time goes on, however, people tend to sort of revert back to how they really are. They get more comfortable in the relationship, perhaps, and start to show people their personality, bad habits and all.

    There are some relationship behaviors, however, that experts say you need to quit doing because they can cause real harm in your relationship.

    Although not all not-so-great relationship behaviors or habits will result in an immediately-damaging effect, they can take a toll over time. INSIDER spoke with some experts to learn what you should stop doing in your relationship right away so that you can have better, healthier, longer-lasting relationships overall.

    Stop nagging them or being overly-critical.

    It can be tempting to gripe about missed opportunities, neglected responsibilities, or broken promises, but if you cross the line from helpful reminders to nagging or all-out criticism of your partner, you might need to reevaluate, especially if you notice that you're doing it more and more.

    "[W]hen we're in that space, we're just in a space of all sorts of negativity,"Shirani M. Pathak, licensed psychotherapist and the founder of the Center for Soulful Relationships told INSIDER. "There's no room for any love or romance to flourish because we're constantly looking at what is lacking in our relationship as opposed to focusing on what is going well and what is flourishing. It's like putting a plant in a dark closet instead of outside where the sun and the rain are."

    That's definitely not what you intended to do — and can really wear your partner down after awhile. They might get frustrated, sure, but they also might start to feel like they're constantly walking on eggshells. No one wants to live like that.



    Stop expecting that they just know what you're thinking.

    You know all about that couple that claims they can finish each other's sentences, they're always so in sync (OK, maybe that's a couple from a movie), but in real life, you can't expect that your partner will always know what you're thinking or what you need without ever vocalizing things.

    "People are often afraid to ask for what they need in a specific situation,"Lauren Gentile, PhD, a psychologist, told INSIDER. "They come to their partner looking for something specific and then get frustrated when that is not what they get from them."

    If you don't tell them what you want or need, not only do they not necessarily know what it is that you want or need, but you take away an opportunity to let them give it to you, Gentile explained. You're on the same team when you're in a relationship, but they can't help if you don't let them.



    Stop letting distractions get in the way when you're together.

    "Quality time isn't really quality time if you're not connecting," Rebekah Montgomery, PhD, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert, told INSIDER. "This is a frequent contributor to getting in a rut, routine, or feeling bored or disconnected in your relationship. Research has shown that recent generation​s​ are having less sex than past generations when they were the same age. Technology is a big part of this​.​"

    It can be difficult to put down the phone, shut off the computer, or even give the TV a night off every so often, especially if those things are part of your regular routine — and for many people, they are. But taking time away from distractions to spend time with your partner will strengthen your relationship. Plus, you'll actually get to enjoy their company, rather than competing with something else for their attention.



    See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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    chandler bing commitment phobe

    • Some people are afraid of commitment.
    • It can be hard to tell whether this fear is temporary or if it's an essential characteristic of the person you are dating.
    • Here are nine expert-approved ways to deal with a partner's fear of commitment in a healthy way — including how to know when it's time to leave.


    Would you stay with someone you knew you would never commit to you? Many wouldn't. But still, it can be hard to leave someone you really like, especially if you hold onto that hope that eventually they will commit. If you feel like you still want to give your partner a chance, even though they clearly aren't ready to fully commit themselves to you, here are nine expert-approved ways on how to handle it.

    1. Ask what their relationship goals are.

    Commitment-phobes tend to have a lot of short-term relationships and are serial daters. So, you should definitely ask what their relationship goals are, and also be clear what your goals are, suggests professional matchmaker and dating coach Carmelia Ray, who also stars on Myx TV's Mom vs. Matchmaker. "You have to see if you're aligned. The challenge with posing this kind of question is you may get an extremely vague response or they might skillfully change the subject."

    2. Give yourself a timeline.

    new girl jess nick

    Since a commitment-phobe is perfectly happy keeping the relationship at the honeymoon stage for as long as possible, you need to establish your own timeline in which you're willing to wait around or notice the relationship progress, says Ray. "Notice if your relationship actually feels like a commitment versus a part-time thing. If your partner tries to prolong a never-ending courting process, it's time to move on."

    3. Make sure your own needs are met.

    It's not surprising commitment-phobes are afraid of commitment in other areas of their life and this reluctance isn't exclusive to you and your relationship. "Commitment-phobes often move to the beat to their own drum and are not overly concerned with the impact of their aloof attitude on others," says Ray. "This kind of behavior provides evidence they have selfish tendencies. The best thing you can do is to always be sure your needs are being met inside the relationship. A relationship is a two-way street and if all the effort is one-sided, it's clearly time to move on or reassess unless you're OK with the constant disappointments."

    4. Don't rush them.

    big and carrie sex and the city

    If you truly love them and want to stay with them, you honestly do have to wait, says millennial dating expert and host of the We Met At Acme podcast, Lindsey Metselaar. "Lead by example and show them how rewarding it is to commit to people and to things. When they do offer you a commitment, even if it's just a dinner, be appreciative of it. Know that you're dealing with someone who has issues, and you have to be mindful of them or leave and find someone who loves commitment."

    5. Give them space.

    If your commitment-phobe boyfriend or girlfriend only hangs out when it's convenient for them and never seems to initiate dates, Ray suggests backing off a bit. "My advice is to give your commitment-phobe some space, and allow them to reach out to you to make plans. Pulling back is often a great way to tell if they have any desire to make any sort of effort to stay in communication with you," she says. And, if you don't like that they've waited over two weeks or longer to reach out, it's time to re-evaluate whether you want to be their last priority.

    6. Try and get them to open up more.

    love netflix

    "Many commitment-phobes are phobic about commitments based on negative past experiences or having been badly burned in the past from an ex," says Ray. Underlying their fear of commitment is the FEAR of getting hurt. "A great way to deal with someone who may have been burned in the past or hasn't had much of an example of a healthy relationship is to work on deeper and more open communication. Engaging in thought-provoking conversation, free of judgment, criticism and having a great deal of patience will be required to help your commitment-phobe to have a breakthrough."

    7. Avoid nagging them about it.

    If you continue with the "why can't you commit" nagging, you will likely end up pushing them even further away. Metselaar says sometimes, you have to let them bring it up naturally because they're the one with the phobia. Of course, this takes a lot of patience. "If you're frustrated and really need to have that conversation, then tell them to come back to you when they're ready to discuss it."

    8. Understand that they may never commit.

    he's just not that into you

    Signs that your partner may never commit can present themselves in the beginning of relationship and often we like to think that we can change them. But most often, we can't. And if you do convince them to commit, there are no guarantees the relationship will even be a healthy one. "As long as you're not having tunnel vision and too blinded by love, you'll be able to determine whether the person is worth the headache," says Metselaar.

    9. Don't give up your own life.

    If you're dealing with a commitment-phobe, it's even more important to not distance yourself from your friends. "Doing things without your CP partner shows them that they aren't walking into a point of no return [when committing to you]. A real phobe needs to know that the walls aren't closing in on them," says Metselaar. In other words, it shows that even though they're committed to you, they won't feel suffocated.

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    date in park

    • Dating site Badoo surveyed 5,000 singles to see what the most right-swiped careers were for men and women.
    • Scroll down to see if your job is on the list.


    You've set up your dating profiles with your best photos and a witty bio. All that's left to do is swipe and wait for the matches to roll in.

    But there might be something that you hadn't considered that can work in your favour — your job.

    According to dating site Badoo, which has over 380 million users around the world, some professions appear to be more attractive than others.

    The site surveyed 5,000 users aged between 18 and 30 to see what jobs were at the top.

    Rather than men in uniform and female supermodels, some of the most right-swiped jobs aren't particularly stereotypical.

    Scroll down to see whether your career choice is likely to get you a match.

    The most right-swiped jobs for men:

    1. Chef

    2. Engineer

    3. Entrepreneur

    4. Marketing

    5. Artist

    cooking chef

    The most right-swiped jobs for women:

    1. Hairdresser

    2. Nurse

    3. Lawyer

    4. Entrepreneur

    5. Teacher

    hairdressers

    Of course, it could be the case that there are simply more people with these jobs looking for dates on the app. But when you think about it, there is something tempting about being made breakfast in bed by a chef, or having your hair cut for free by your girlfriend.

    SEE ALSO: Dating is getting even more complicated — here are 5 more terms you need to know in 2018

    Join the conversation about this story »

    NOW WATCH: Leslie Odom, Jr.'s $500,000 gamble that led to 'Hamilton'


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    shutterstock_631792082

    • Reading a book that deals with the subject of reinvention can help make transforming your life a little easier.
    • Change can be a positive thing, and it is helpful to learn from others who have followed a similar path.
    • For example, Tim Ferriss' bestselling book 'The 4-Hour WorkWeek' offers sage advice to those reevaluating their professional priorities.


    Whether you're switching your major in college or changing your career path altogether, change can be daunting. But if you want to be happier, you've got to take the chance and make the jump. Just remember: You're not alone.

    From Adam Markel's Pivot, which will help anyone in transition create a new roadmap for success, to Jon Acuff's Do Over, a helpful guide in dissecting relationships, skills, character and work and preparing them for change, there's no shortage of helpful books that will make your reinvention smoother.

    What are you waiting for? Spring into action with these 11 books about reinvention.

    SEE ALSO: Here's how many hours it takes to make a new friend as an adult

    1. 'Pivot,' by Adam Markel

    Whether you're unemployed, in transition or looking to completely change the direction of your career, inspirational speaker and author Adam Markel will help you do just that through his book, 'Pivot: The Art and Science of Reinventing Your Career and Life.' In the book, Markel asks readers: "What would you do in your life if you knew you could not fail?" Then, Markel helps lay out a roadmap to help you achieve your dreams without putting your finances or future at risk.



    2. 'Do Over,' by Jon Acuff

    In Jon Acuff's 'Do Over: Make Today the First Day of Your New Career,' Acuff seeks to help his readers develop four important areas of their lives: relationships, skills, character and hustle. The book helps people amplify these areas of their lives in order to prepare for major transitions, become unstuck, reinvent themselves in the workplace or get the job they've always wanted. According to Acuff, you should look forward to going to work on Mondays. If you don't, this book can help you fix that.



    3. 'The 4-Hour Workweek,' by Tim Ferriss

    Tim Ferriss' bestselling book 'The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere and Join the New Rich' is a blueprint for success and reinvention. In it, Ferriss shares how to ditch your current 9-to-5 job in order to make an incredible living, working less. He shares his own story of going from a 40-hour-a-week $40,000 annual salaried job to making $40,000 a month working four hours a week. He shares his tips and tricks for reinventing your work life and living a life of luxury with the nouveau riche.



    See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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    life lessons

    • Life lessons often only come with time and mistakes made.
    • Figuring out financial responsibility, the importance of maintaining health, and having patience with my career would have helped me be more successful.
    • Here are nine crucial life lessons that I wish someone had told me a decade ago.

     

    When I was in my late 20s, my boss and I used to have epic lunches where we'd chat about life. One day, he told me that when you turn 30, you need to start being responsible. I didn't take him seriously, but now that I'm 40, I wish I had.

    Here are nine of the hard-earned lessons I've learned leading up to my fortieth year that I wish someone had told me a decade ago:

    SEE ALSO: The lesson I learned in my 30s that changed how I live my life

    1. You may see some friends less often, but the bond remains strong

    I've found that the closest friends I've had for the past 20 years are the ones from my fraternity — it truly is a forever bond. As life moves on, though, people do, too.

    Some of your friends will move to different states, and some will get married, have kids, and end up immersed in a suburban bubble. Your inner circle will become smaller and smaller as you get older.

    But that's not to say that the folks you see less often are gone forever. With many of my fraternity brothers, when we get together, we're still able to pick up right where we left off. It's like no time has passed. You just can't get bogged down with wondering when you’ll see them again or feel insecure about why they haven’t called.  



    2. Your parents will need taking care of

    My parents are on the verge of turning 70, and their health is becoming a concern. Between the two of them they have high cholesterol, hearing loss, and multiple medications, and doctor visits are becoming more and more frequent.

    It's important to understand your family’s health and medical history, and to know all of their pertinent information so you can handle any medical situation that may arise.



    3. An extravagant wedding is overrated

    If there was ever a moment where the idiom "If I knew then what I know now" fits into this post, it pertains to my wedding. Yes, it was beautiful – everyone we wanted was there, we had an outdoor ceremony, the music was amazing, and the caterer's pigs-in-a-blanket were hand-rolled!

    But weddings can be uber-expensive, especially in the New York City area. Planning a wedding often causes stress for the bride and groom and strife among the parents paying for it.

    If you really want to have a wedding, focus on curating your guest list, paring it down only to the folks who must be there. Do what I would do now if I had the chance to do it all again: Take a long and lovely honeymoon and start your life together without this nuptial nonsense.



    See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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    couple on a date in a cafe

    • A date is not an opportunity to assess whether the person is "The One," as tempting as that might be.
    • That's according to Joanna Coles, the former editor of Cosmopolitan and Marie Claire magazines, the chief content officer at Hearst Magazines, and the author of the new book "Love Rules."
    • Instead, Coles said, you should use a date as a chance to see if you actually like the person and would want to befriend them.
    • Spend time doing activities you enjoy instead of searching for "The One" and you just might find someone to fall in love with.


    I was never very good at dating.

    This isn't to say that I didn't go on many dates: I did. And this isn't to say that I didn't generally enjoy the other person's company: I did.

    The problem was that, for the four years between college graduation and my entrance into a real adult relationship, I felt like I was wasting my time. It didn't matter that I was meeting new people, or that I was having fun — if I wasn't meeting the "right" person, it was all for naught.

    I hadn't thought about those feelings in a while — then I heard Joanna Coles speak at a launch event for her new book, "Love Rules: Finding a Real Relationship in a Digital World."

    Coles is the former editor of Cosmopolitan and Marie Claire magazines; she's currently the chief content officer at Hearst Magazines. In "Love Rules," Coles guides readers in assessing what kind of love they want and being as practical as possible in finding it.

    At the launch event, which took place at NeueHouse in New York City, Coles spoke with Nina Garcia, editor of Elle magazine. Meeting "The One," Coles told the audience, is "the wrong question to be asking." Instead, she said, the goal is "having a bigger life."

    Coles expanded on this idea a few days later, in a separate interview with Business Insider. "Online dating is incredibly good for expanding your social network in general," she said. "I have lots of stories of people who moved to cities and didn't know anybody and built up a friend group through online dating."

    What Coles is really suggesting is not to see dating as a zero-sum game: Either the date is a success (you get married; you hook up) or a failure (you go home alone and neither of you ever texts the other again). There's a happy medium here, and it's finding someone you want to hang out with — maybe just once, maybe more than once; maybe in a romantic context, maybe in a platonic one.

    "If you swipe or match with someone and immediately start asking yourself, 'Is he or she The One?' it's the wrong question to ask and you will probably be disappointed," Coles told us. "And that's a lot of pressure to put on a first date."

    On a date, ask yourself if this is someone worth adding to your friend group

    I know that if I'd heard this advice in my early 20s, I would have loved it — on an intellectual level — and promptly gone on to ignore it as soon as I went out with someone new.

    But Coles also had some more concrete suggestions for mentally reframing a date, and dating in general. She recommended asking yourself:

    • Do I like this person?
    • Would it be worth adding this person to my friend group?
    • Do I want to see this person again?
    • If I don't find this person attractive, do I have a friend who might find them attractive?
    • Is this a person who I have something in common with?

    That question about whether a pal might find the person attractive could prove more useful than you think. Research suggests that most American couples still meet through friends. So if everyone in your friend group agrees to pass along their "cast-offs" to someone else, you all could wind up with a higher chance of meeting someone great.

    Perhaps the best way to get out of the dating-is-wasteful mentality is to just live your life and do things you enjoy.

    Instead of spending all your free time on dating apps, re-allocate some of that time toward "expanding your actual social network," Coles said. In particular, she recommended joining a sports team or a choir, taking a painting class or a dance lesson.

    "You'll meet more people and you'll have something in common to talk about with them and something in common to do, which doesn't just revolve around the hope you have that this person might turn into The One."

    Richard Feloni contributed reporting.

    SEE ALSO: Diversity in hiring is more important than ever — and media exec Joanna Coles says there's a right and a wrong way to do it

    Join the conversation about this story »

    NOW WATCH: A data scientist reveals how you can tell if a first date is going well based on language choice


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    siblings

    • Siblings often have different personalities, and their places in the birth order may be partially responsible.
    • First-born kids tend to be leaders, like CEOS and founders, and are more likely to achieve traditional success.
    • Middle-born children often embody a mix of the traits of older and younger siblings, and they’re very relationship-focused.
    • Last-born individuals are used to fighting for attention and respect and aren’t afraid to break the rules and redefine success.

     

    We tend to associate first-born siblings with leadership and success and “the baby of the family” with rule-breaking and humor. And while science doesn’t universally back up those assumptions, some experts have found that one’s place in the birth order can have a lasting impact on professional success.

    SEE ALSO: A psychologist explains how birth order affects your chances of success

    1. First-born kids are poised for success

    First-born children have a special place in the family hierarchy.

    “[They] come into the world as their parents’ sole princess or prince,” wrote Jeffrey Kluger, author of the book “The Sibling Effect: What the Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal About Us” in an article for "Time."“They are more inclined to be pampered, more inclined to be indulged, more inclined to grow up with a sense that they sit at the center of the familial orbit.”

    They also may be inclined to assume leadership positions. In a 2007 survey of 1,582 chief executives, 43% reported that they are the first born. Another, smaller survey revealed that first-borns are 55% more likely than the rest of the population to be founders of companies or organizations.

    “Studies of CEOs have shown that those who are first-borns tend to run their companies conservatively — improving things by, say, streamlining product lines, simplifying distribution routes and generally making sure the trains run on time,” Kluger wrote in an article for TIME.

    Elon Musk, Richard Branson, and Jeff Bezos are all first-borns who went on to become successful CEOs.

    Eldest children also tend to have higher IQs and be more cautious and dutiful, the New York Times reports, and they often earn higher salaries, according to study from CareerBuilder.



    2. Middle-born children are team players

    Kids who are born in the middle tend to be less well defined in their personalities than their older or younger siblings.

    “They’re more of a puzzle,” Kluger wrote. “They may adopt the behaviors of the biggest siblings or the littlest ones — or they may find some behavioral blend of the two.”

    Research from the University of Redlands in California found that middle-born kids are more relationship-focused, which bodes well for their careers.

    “At the heart of nearly all jobs is that kind of relationship management — connecting, negotiating, brokering peace between differing sides,” Kluger wrote in TIME. “Middle siblings may not wind up as the corporate chiefs or the comedians, but whatever they do, they’re likely to do it more collegially and agreeably — and, as a result, more successfully — than other siblings.”

    Katrin Schumann, co-author of "The Secret Power of Middle Children: How Middleborns Can Harness Their Unexpected and Remarkable Abilities," said in an article for "Psychology Today" that middle children are social beings, skilled negotiators, and good team players who think outside the box and resist conformity. She pointed to such examples as Madonna, Martin Luther King Jr., Charles Darwin, and Abraham Lincoln.



    3. Last-born kids rewrite the rules

    When you’re the last-born child of the family, you have to contend with being the smallest and weakest of the bunch.

    “That makes them more inclined to be rebellious (the better to overturn the system),” Kluger wrote. “It also makes them funnier, more intuitive and more charismatic than their older siblings. If you can’t use strength and size to prevent yourself from getting pushed around, you learn to disarm with charm and to pay attention to other people’s thoughts and motivations in order to stay one step ahead of them.”

    Younger siblings are more likely to participate in high-risk sports than their older siblings, according to researchers from the University of California, Berkeley and Guildford College. This translates to bigger risk-taking in the professional world, according to Kluger: “Last-borns are more likely to blow up the tracks and buy new trains — reinventing a company entirely, rather than simply reforming or improving it.”

    Another study found that last-borns are more relaxed, easy-going, and funnier.

    “Multiple studies have shown that the baby of the family is likelier than other siblings to be a writer or artist or especially a comedian — Stephen Colbert, the youngest of 11 siblings, is a great example of this,” Kluger wrote. “All this, again, speaks to the last-born’s ability to get inside other people’s heads. You can’t write a powerful poem if you don’t deeply understand what moves your potential readers.”



    See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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    couple dating

    Hands up if you have hundreds of matches on dating apps who you've never spoken to. It's a pretty common habit, and probably the result of just having too much choice. 

    But according to Erika Ettin, relationship coach and the founder of dating site A Little Nudge, this is just one of the many ways we are doing ourselves a disservice when it comes to looking for love.

    Ettin spoke to Business Insider about all the ways you're going wrong on your dating app profiles, and what you should do instead to help you find "the one." They aren't rules, rather tried and tested methods that work.

    "You'll find an exception to every rule, but my background is analytical, and I'm an analytical person," Ettin said. "So if something works 99% of the time, that's what I'm going to recommend. You'll always find the 1% and that's fine, but I'd rather give you a better chance."

    Most of the mistakes are surprisingly simple — scroll down to see how many you're guilty of. 

    SEE ALSO: You've heard of 'ghosting' — here are the 11 modern dating terms you'll probably start hearing everywhere

    1. Not writing a bio

    You might think that not writing anything on your profile makes you look aloof and mysterious. In reality, you just look boring, and you're giving your potential matches too much of a reason to swipe left (left meaning no thanks).

    "It doesn't matter how attractive you look in your pictures, if you haven't written a single word then people question what the heck you're doing on there," Ettin said. "So it doesn't take much. I only recommend 20-40 words on a dating app. 20 words is not that many, and you can write anything."

    You can write a couple of words about what you do for a living, two truths and a lie, a few bullet points — it doesn't matter. Literally anything is better than no words at all.



    2. Just writing your height

    This is one of Ettin's pet peeves. Some men think women are just after a man over a certain height, which isn't true at all.

    "When men only list their height, it's as if that's the only thing to offer in this world," Ettin said. "I'm sure some people who care about height are appreciative of that, but seriously is that the only thing? It's insulting! Like, wow he's a catch, he's 6ft tall, but maybe he was in jail last year."



    3. Too many pictures

    Just because an app allows you to upload a certain amount of photos, this doesn't mean you should. According to Ettin, four or five is the optimum.

    "People have a tendency to look through every picture and find one they don't like, and then dismiss you because of that one," she said. "I would never put more than five pictures. It's enough. People can see what you look like."



    See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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    date

    • After she ghosted a date, Amanda Burnett received a $40 invoice for her half of a dinner.
    • According to an etiquette expert, it’s customary for the person who asked for the date to pay, but some people prefer to split the bill.
    • If you offered to pay, it's decidedly not polite to send a bill after-the-fact.

     

    When you go on a date, there's always a chance that it won’t be a romantic fit. It certainly feels lousy if you like someone and want the relationship to progress, but they don’t feel the same way … and it can be even more hurtful if you reach out and get ghosted.

    But does that mean it's OK to send an invoice after the date?

    It happened to Amanda Burnett, an Indiana woman who went on a dinner date and later received an itemized invoice of everything she ate and drank during the date, the Daily Mail reports.

    Burnett shared the invoice on Twitter and, although the original tweet has been deleted, a screenshot of her caption said: "A guy just mailed me a bill for our dinner a few weeks ago because I didn’t text him back … I can't make this s**t up."

    Her date didn't stop there — he also sent a text that said, "And to avoid additional penalty or fines have the invoice paid otherwise it will be turned into a collection agency," according to a screenshot published by Daily Mail.

    The specifics of the situation, like whether Burnett offered to pay but her date declined, and who asked whom for the date, are unclear. But Business Insider reached out to Daniel Post Senning, great-great-grandson of etiquette expert Emily Post and spokesperson for The Emily Post Institute, to get his take on whether billing your date for their meal is acceptable.

    SEE ALSO: Here is exactly what to say when you're not sure who should pay on a first date

    1. It is customary that the person who asked for the date pays for it

    "The traditional thing is that the host pays, so whoever asked the person out on the date would pay," Post Senning said. "But we’ve been living in a world where people for all different reasons like to split the bill in a relationship and on first dates."

    However, he added that some people prefer the "traditional courtesy" of the host paying, and that in the past it was typically men doing the asking, and thus paying. If someone asked you out but you would feel more comfortable splitting the bill, you should mention that you’d like to contribute.



    2. It's definitely not customary to send an invoice after you've agreed to pay

    If everyone is operating under the understanding that this is a social situation, there are generally not going to be invoices involved, Post Senning said. "Part of having good etiquette is being able to read social cues. Sending an invoice sounds vindictive in some ways, because it's shifting the context from social to professional."



    3. There is no obligation to respond to someone's texts or calls after a date — but it's the polite thing to do

    We also don't know how the date ended. Burnett may have explicitly told him or given him signs that she wasn’t interested when they parted ways. We do know she didn't respond to his texts after the date.

    Post Senning's take on ghosting? Although he says that there is not an "obligation to respond," it is the polite thing to do.

    If you've spent a long time together, he recommends ending things in person, but if you met up for a quick drink or dinner, a simple text message or phone call will do. "Thanking someone for the time you did spend together is a good way to politely end an interaction," Post Senning said.

    It can be hurtful not to put an end to things in words in a world where communication is so easy, he said.



    See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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    dinner date

    • Dating and dieting have a lot in common, according to Joanna Coles.
    • Coles is the former editor of Cosmo and Marie Claire magazines, the chief content officer at Hearst Magazines, and the author of the new book "Love Rules."
    • In the book, Coles shows readers how to identify the people who are standing between you and the love you want.
    • For example, Coles says your relationship with an ex is a kind of "junk love" that is best eliminated from your diet.


    About midway through Joanna Coles' new guide to modern dating, "Love Rules," she offers an analogy between food and sex that will hit awfully close to home for many readers:

    "In the same way you pick idly at chips promising this is literally your last one, you may be in a relationship that you know isn't going anywhere, but you're hungry for love, and it feels less frightening than nothing."

    Yikes.

    Coles is the former editor of Cosmopolitan and Marie Claire magazines; she's currently the chief content officer of Hearst Magazines.

    "Love Rules" is premised on the idea that the best way to find love is to approach dating like dieting, which is to say intentionally, methodically, and with the willingness to tweak if something isn't working. Just as many health experts recommend keeping a food diary, Coles advises keeping a love journal, where you record your current habits and reflect on what it is you really want.

    'Junk love' can be just as bad for you as junk food

    The comparison between food and love may seem trite, but I found the parallels between junk food and what Coles labels "junk love" surprisingly compelling.

    Coles uses a doughnut as a "metaphor for your ex — warm, sweet, familiar, and loaded with trans fats that clog the arteries and eventually lead to a blockage of the heart." When you sleep with said ex, Coles says, it's easy and temporarily gratifying — but it may also sabotage your chances of finding long-term love.

    The point here is simple, at least in theory: Set a goal (whether that's finding long-term love or something else) and identify the obstacles preventing you from getting there. Maybe those obstacles are crunchy and salty; maybe they're texting you to "hang out" at 2 a.m. You can't cut out the waste until you see it clearly.

    Coles also shares a valuable, if somewhat unconventional, exercise  that can help readers recognize their personal obstacles. She writes: "Make a list of all the people in your life and rate them in terms of energy in, energy out. Is there anyone in your life right now who is blocking your love quest?" Coles says it could just as well be an ex or a best friend who's especially judgmental.

    With regards to the ever-present ex, Coles recommends "giving yourself a clean break" and "quitting, cold turkey." This, as anyone who's tried to quit an ex or a post-work snacking habit knows, can feel impossible.

    But it's conceivable that simply being aware of your counterproductive habits — and being motivated to break them — is a big first step in actually ditching them.

    SEE ALSO: The reason dating can be so frustrating is that most people look at it all wrong

    Join the conversation about this story »

    NOW WATCH: A psychologist explains how to tell if you're ready for a committed relationship


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    Amanda Oleander Couple Art Star Gazing Romantic

    Los Angeles-based fine artist Amanda Oleander captures the intimate moments of everyday life in her drawings — from the ordinary to the embarrassing to the truly special.

    Oleander, who has been drawing and painting since she was about four or five years old, rose to fame in 2015 as Periscope's first real star. That year, she racked up over 200,000 followers on the live streaming platform. Today, she has over 550,000 and counting, not to mention the 403,000 who follow her on Instagram.

     The 28-year-old artist told INSIDER that she is drawn to the moments "we never get to see," the moments that "can't really be documented because if they were, it would alter" how we act. "I'm enthralled by the way people behave behind closed doors," she said.

    Take a closer look at some of Oleander's drawings below.

    Sometimes, the most romantic milestones in a relationship come when you let your guard down around your partner.



    These are the instances that stand out to Oleander, who frequently draws inspiration from her own relationship with her boyfriend, Joey Rudman.



    Her artwork captures all the intimate moments that bring a couple closer together, like when you take care of a sick partner, even if you'll get sick, too.



    See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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    Young Couple Kissing Paris

    • Depending on your zodiac sign, you might behave very differently in a relationship.
    • Virgos are practical thinkers and known for their thoughtful words and compassionate actions.
    • Libras are the true masters of relationships because of their abilities to understand other people's perspectives.

    We all need strength in our relationships; it's important you're able to identify the signs of how people express their strength.

    Let’s steer into the grim reality — all relationships deal with rough patches, some more than others. And the only way to persevere through times of uncertainty is to showcase strength. Each zodiac sign has different capabilities and skills, you need to recognize where and what they excel at doing. Each symbol can prove their strength when faced with seemingly insurmountable odds. The real question is: how do you keep the relationship stable, robust and fulfilling?

    What makes a world of difference when forming a healthy relationship is knowing what enables each zodiac sign to step up to the plate when it gets dark. When you can recognize these triggers, you can transform a bleak relationship into an inseparable bond. We are all striving for a sense of companionship in our lives, and the more we begin to understand the zodiac sign we’re involved with, the easier it is for them to prove their strength.

    Fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius): Your optimism makes your relationships stronger than ever

    Fire signs are enthusiastic and optimistic. When you are dealing with ups and downs, you rise to the occasion and conquer their problems. You believe in standing by your partner and making a way out of no way. The unwavering faith you possess will propel your relationship through the flames and make it whole again.

    You're straightforward, honest and persistent. Any problems you encounter in your relationship displays new opportunities. Adversity is perceived as a function to create a closer bond, and ultimately, strengthen the ties you have so you can evolve together. The conviction you have for execution is forthright in finding a way to take the relationship to the next level. You always act intuitively and understand how to let your flame of passion create a deep romanticism in your relationship.



    Aries: Your ability to communicate is key

    Aries are charismatic and covey points efficiently in your relationship. You understand the importance of communication; aren't afraid of taking risks and actively pursue a higher meaning and purpose for your relationship. You feel the need to initiate under any circumstances. Excitement is an emotion they have mastered, and they bring it into your contact effortlessly.

    Aries believe in expressing their feelings bluntly when they fall in love. Take a fearless approach to relationships and see the bigger picture for what it is. Backing down from the opportunity for love is ludicrous for you to consider. The larger the obstacle is, the quicker you tackle it and take it down. Bravery is a joy they experience in your relationship.



    Leo: Your self-confidence makes it hard for anyone to resist you

    Leos are creative, passionate and generous individuals, who will plan surprise vacations and lavish romantic getaways. You have a cheerful and humorous personality, they grow accustomed to love you dearly. Self-confidence and astounding creativity make it hard for you to resist them in times of duress. Commitment is a trait you value and actively search for in your relationship. You are caring and evaluate the needs of your partner, and look after them in times of distress and discomfort. They praise and flatter you with any opportunity you give them to be vocal.

    Magnetism is a trait Leos have a natural disposition for showcasing to the world; you gravitate towards others, the closer you become. Your warm-hearted nature demands it. You believe being faithful is the only option in a relationship and love when the same feelings reciprocate.



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