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A relationship expert shares 5 tips for making your relationship last

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With countless books, blogs, and movies devoted to the subject, it can sometimes seem as though making a relationship last requires a ton of scheming and planning.

But in reality, when two people care about each other, it's actually quite easy to make a healthy relationship go the distance.

Relationship expert Talia Goldstein, CEO of white-glove matchmaking service Three Day Rule, told INSIDER that there are just a few simple rules that couples should follow.

Here are her best tips for building a lasting relationship.

1. Listen, listen, listen

Most of us are constantly glued to our smartphones or tablets, obsessed with catching Pokémon or viewing our friends' latest social-media updates.

But when you're with your partner, it's important to actually put down the device and listen to what they're saying, Goldstein explained.

"Every time you pick up your phone when you're with another person, you're essentially saying that whatever is on your phone is more important to them," the relationship expert said.

Instead, it's important to actually engage with your partner when they're telling you a story, and to show them that you're truly hearing what they're saying.

"You want someone to engage and talk things through with," Goldstein said. "Be very present, and have very meaningful conversations."



2. Be the "old" you

At the start of the relationship, you're often absolutely giddy about the other person. And so you're putting in a ton of effort, being incredibly affectionate, and telling them how much you care.

But as a relationship progresses, the honeymoon period comes to an end. You stop sleeping as close to each other or holding hands as you walk down the street, and you give fewer compliments.

According to Goldstein, it's important at this time to make sure that the spark doesn't burn out.

"There's a reason why your partner fell in love with you, and over time you naturally become more comfortable with each other, and you start trying less," Goldstein said. "If you continue down this path, you could end up as just friends."

That's why it's often important in a long-term relationship to regroup, and go back to being the "old" you.

"It's really important to put in the extra effort to do the things you first did when you met your partner," she explained.



3. Know your partner's love language

Everyone communicates in different ways — especially when it comes to love.

"Everybody feels love in different ways. For somebody, coming home to dinner on the table is the equivalent of saying I love you. For others, it might be actually saying it," Goldstein said.

So to make your relationship last, it's important to figure out how your partner feels love. But of course, sometimes it's not obvious, and you actually need to ask your partner.

"If you're telling your partner all the time 'I love you,' and that doesn't really make them feel loved, then they might feel like something is missing," the expert said. "But if cleaning the blender in the morning is the equivalent of saying 'I love you' to them, then you should focus on that."

 



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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