7 behaviors of people who are easy to talk to

Maybe it's because a journalist, but the way I know I'm in a good conversation is that I unconsciously start to reach for my notepad, because everything we're discussing fascinates me so.

On the one hand, I want to take notes on what we're talking about — maybe they're telling me about an awesome vacation they took or maybe I'm telling them about my relationship with my family.

But on the other hand, I want to record those subtle strategies they're using to guide the interaction. How did I wind up gripping my chair in suspense? Or, how did they get me to open up like that?

I imagine I'm not the only one who's had these questions. So I turned to some Quorathreads for insight into the most common behaviors that make someone a pleasure to talk to.

Read on to find out what those excellent conversationalists do — and how you can start emulating them.

SEE ALSO: 10 ways to get better at small talk

1. They learn what you care about — and let you talk about it

Quora user Rajesh Setty says it's important to allow your conversation partner to reveal what interests them.

"You will be tempted to interrupt and share what you care about every now and then," he says. "The trick is to hold off and focus on the other person first. You will get your chance."

In fact, recent research suggests that talking about yourself is inherently pleasurable; it stimulates the same reward centers in the brain that are lit up by sex, cocaine, and good food. So it makes sense that people would feel positively about a conversation in which they held the spotlight.

2. They show their emotions

Max Lukominskyi writes:

It is difficult to overestimate the importance of emotions during the dialogue. While talking, accompany your words with corresponding gesture and feelings. Meanwhile, as a listener show your reaction and let your partner know how you feel about what she says.

Research backs him up: One study found that people who suppress their emotions are often perceived as less likable than those who express their feelings.

3. They find something they have in common with you

Brian Blose recommends that you "find ways to transition conversations to areas of mutual interest."

Blose says he often starts out by asking what his conversation partner does for a living; other times he mentions a new restaurant he visited.

"You might have to try a few topics before you find something you have in common."

Psychological research helps explain why this strategy might work — according to the similarity-attraction effect, we tend to gravitate toward people who are just like us, and especially when we share similar attitudes and values.