Time spent in bed together is a crucial part of bonding between couples. But if we have trouble getting some shut-eye, this can have a negative impact on our relationships too.
In a blog post on Psychology Today, marriage consultant Melissa Orlov said many couples slip into patterns that put significant pressure on the health of their relationship.
However, many of these problems can be sorted out easily and quickly as long as you don't ignore them.
It's not just the actual sleeping, either. What you do before bed can have an effect too. Here are some of the bedtime habits couples fall into, which could be having more of a negative impact than they think.
Not getting enough sleep.
According to research by the National Sleep Foundation, the optimum sleep for adults is eight hours a night. Unless you're one of the lucky ones who has different genetics, less than eight hours equals poorer performance. This means it will take you longer to do things, and you won't do them as well.
If you get less sleep, you're also more likely to be irritable with your partner, which can have a negative impact on connections you make with each other in your relationship.
Orlov says to help with this you could start experimenting with things like heavy curtains, drape clips, eye covers, and ear plugs to block out light and sound. LED alarm clocks can also help improve your night's sleep.
Then of course there are night owls and morning larks.
Couples can sometimes be on different schedules. Some people are night owls who stay up later and others are larks who rise earlier in the morning. This can lead to you heading to bed at different times, and waking each other up in the process.
It might also happen if you're parents, as households may not quieten down until the kids are in bed. In his research, psychologist Dr Jeffrey Larson found that couples whose sleep patterns were mismatched reported significantly less marital adjustment, more conflict, less time spent talking about serious things, less time spent doing activities together, and less sex than matched couples.
Orlov says what you do before bedtime can be key to connecting, as you can chat about your day, and catch up with each other. It's also important to be considerate of each other if you return to the bedroom and your partner is already snoozing. Use a torch instead of turning on the main light and try to be quiet.
Avoiding or putting off intimacy.
Sex is one of the best ways couples connect with each other, but it can often get forgotten about.
"Many couples I work with are either too caught up with their phones or books, don't feel motivated enough to have sex, or may be 'holding out' on their partner because of unresolved conflict," couples therapist and relationship specialist Melody Li told the Huffington Post. "Sex itself can be healing to the relationship and can remind partners that they are working together as a team."
Of course, you don't have to get freaky every night to bond. Cuddling has also been shown to help people feel relaxed and happy.
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