The INSIDER Summary:
- Own the fact that you're an introvert. It's nothing to be ashamed of!
- Focus on the potential connection, not the possibility of rejection.
- Dating is a skill to develop — no one is born good at it.
In some ways, introverts are perfectly-suited to the dating world because they tend to prefer meaningful one-on-one conversations to small talk, which drains their energy.
The problem is that dates often do consist of blithering small talk with no escape route — an introvert's worst nightmare. Introverts also tend to be more at ease around people they already know, so inviting someone new into their orbit can be a little scary.
We asked three sex and relationship experts for their best dating tips with introverts in mind, but their advice can help make dating easier and more fun for any personality type.
Choose familiar date spots where you know you'll feel comfortable.
When you walk into a date unsure of how it's going to play out, a familiar setting can help alleviate a little bit of that anxiety around the unknown.
"When meeting the prospective date, I always go for a drink or coffee at a place that I like so I feel comfortable," said Elle Chase, author of "Curvy Girl Sex" and Director of Education at the Los Angeles Academy of Sex Education.
Embrace your introversion.
Being introverted is nothing to be ashamed of — it's just the way you interact with the world. Telling potential partners that you're introverted can help them get a sense of your personality right off the bat.
"I always just own the fact that I’m an introvert and say it in my [dating] profile," said Chase.
Employ active listening.
Introverts enjoy listening, but can come off as quiet or shy as a result. Active listening turns that passive activity into one that helps forge a more meaningful connection.
"When you are empathically engaging with someone, if you can take that to the next level by active listening, that's just an absolute communicative superpower," said Kate McCombs, founder of Sex Geekdom, a global community for people who love having conversations about sexuality, and the creator of Tea and Empathy workshops. "When you can engage with people on that level, it will upgrade your relationships tenfold."
Don't fear rejection — fear missing out on a great connection.
It's understandable to be afraid of putting yourself out there and getting burned. But what about the opportunities you might miss as a result of not trying at all? Try to turn that fear of rejection into FOMO.
"Often we are afraid of rejection, when we should be more afraid of losing out on meeting a new person and learning about another life," said Virgie Tovar, editor of the anthology "Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion."
Remember that dating takes practice.
"Dating is a skill," said Tovar. "We are not born knowing how to date. We have to develop the skillset."
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