The INSIDER Summary:
- Don't check your phone during dates, and set a time to stop using your phone at night.
- Don't follow ex-boyfriends or girlfriends unless they're part of your friend group.
- Ask permission before posting a photo of you and your partner.
"Social media is a slippery slope," said Rachel Sussman, a relationship expert and couples therapist.
When she sees couples fight about posting too many photos or "liking" an ex's photos long after they have broken up, she steps in to help set healthy boundaries.
Here are her social media rules for couples.
Dates = no-phone zone
Date nights are for spending time with your partner, not your thousands of "friends" and followers. Keep phones off or silent, as well as out of sight to resist the temptation of scrolling through your feed.
Set a time to unplug
Checking your phone before bed is bad for your sleep schedule, anyway.
"There should be a certain time at night you turn it off," she said.
Ask before posting pictures
It's a nice thing to do in general, but especially when it comes to your significant other. They might have a different idea of what's acceptable for public consumption. Or they just might not like the way they look in that photo. Play it safe and ask.
Don't follow your exes' accounts
Unless your ex is in your social circle, your current partner knows them, and enough time has passed for that ship to have sailed, there's no need to follow your ex on social media, much less creep on their accounts.
Don't "like" their photos either
"You do hear a lot of stories about people having affairs with old boyfriends or girlfriends on Facebook or Instagram," said Sussman. "That can be dangerous. Why not keep your social circle to people who are truly in your social circle?"
Take everything with a grain of salt
Happy couples actually post less about their relationship on social media because they don't feel the need to compare themselves to others.
"The more social media we look at, the more it looks like everyone is having a better life than we are," she said. "That can make us feel really bad, and that can also inspire us to want to act like we're having the best life."
Sussman said that many of her clients post several times a day about what they're eating, wearing, and doing — but most of it isn't accurate.
"You really have to take social media with a grain of salt," she said. "I think a small percentage of it is true."
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