7 ways to ensure people don't walk all over you at work

Standing up for yourself is an art form. If you are too forward you may come off aggressive. But then if you're too timid, it's less likely you'll be taken seriously.

Psychologist Adam Galinsky says in a blog post on TED that how we act depends on our personal range of acceptable behaviour.

When we step outside this range, we associate it with punishment. For example, being dismissed, or shut out by whoever you're talking to, or even losing the raise you were working towards at work.

Being assertive is a key part of being successful. Nobody gets to where they want to be by letting people walk all over them. However, there are right ways and wrong ways of going about it.

We've come up with a list of seven tips from Galinsky, and other sources, to help you be confident and assertive at work. It might just help you out if you're trying to negotiate a tough situation or you feel someone might be trying to take advantage of you.

1. Stretch your 'range.'

Galinsky says your range of behaviour isn't fixed, it's dynamic. However, the amount you can stretch your range is determined by how much power you have. This comes in many forms, from your position in the company to the number of alternatives you have in any given situation.

Unfortunately, Galinsky says, the less power you have the more likely you will choose not to speak up, because the chances of punishment are greater. To tackle this, Galinsky says you need to find a way of expanding your power. A good way of doing this is by working out what gives you confidence.

"When you feel powerful, you feel confident and not fearful, and you can expand your own range,"he writes. "When other people see you as powerful, they grant you a wider range. So we should find and use tools that help expand our range of acceptable behaviour."

2. Know the difference between assertion and aggression.

In a blog post on Psychology Today, Dr Leon F. Seltzer says that it's important to stand up to someone in a way that won't be damaging to yourself or anyone else.

Assertiveness is a good thing. It lets others know what you need, how you feel, and shows you have confidence and self-respect. You show the other person your needs matter, and that your point of view needs to be taken into account.

However, aggression isn't a good thing. People who are aggressive act like their opinion or needs are more important. This means it comes across like you have no interest in the other person at all. In turn, whoever you're up against will be similarly defensive and belligerent and you won't get anywhere.

3. Think about how you're coming across.

If you feel yourself getting worked up, you might fall into the aggressive category.

"If you resolutely proclaim the righteousness of your position without attending to the other’s wants, needs, and feelings, you’ll be perceived as aggressive — regardless of what may be your conscious intention simply to stand up for yourself," Seltzer writes.

So keep in mind throughout the discussion what the other person wants to get from the situation. Seltzer recommends you consider where the other person is coming from by asking yourself what their thoughts and feelings might be.

Could you ask them what they want or can you work it out by putting yourself in their shoes? Remind yourself of this throughout the conversation, otherwise you could find yourself slipping.