In 2011 and 2012, I went on 101 dates with 52 different men. It was part of a social experiment that I designed while in school at UC Berkeley.
One of the greatest takeaways from my experiment is that first impressions matter a lot.
If a date starts off on the wrong foot, it can be hard to recover from there. On the other hand, if you start off strong, both of you will be much more relaxed for the rest of the date. The same logic applies to the first time you meet anyone, even a potential client.
Today, I'm a dating coach, and these are the tips I give my clients for making a great first impression. But they work just as well whether you're trying to attract your perfect partner or close a business deal.
1. Pay attention to the details of your appearance
I can't stress it enough: The small stuff matters.
I'm not saying go out and spend your life savings on new clothes, a fancy watch, or an overpriced new car. What I am saying is clean up the scuff marks on your shoes and iron your clothes before you go out. If nothing else, you'll be confident that you look polished and put-together, so you can focus on the interaction instead of your insecurities.
It helps, too, to master your own "signature style." For example, I met date #14 at a fancy bar in the financial district of San Francisco. Dressed in a fitted business suit complete with skinny tie and black-rimmed glasses, he seemed to have mastered the tall, dark, and handsome archetype. It's not a look every guy can pull off, but he'd made it work — and that really increased his appeal.
2. Prolong your eye contact
One of the most important ways to pique someone's romantic interest is to make — and hold — eye contact. It's another way to make a great first impression before you even start talking.
Case in point: I met date #26 at a nightclub in San Francisco. I was standing at the top of a flight of stairs, talking with my friends when he walked past. For a second, we locked eyes and there was this undeniable chemistry — no words required. He walked across the room to where his friends were standing and looked back at me.
What struck me about him was his prolonged eye contact — it was so intense. He was smiling and watching me from across the room and when I looked at him, he didn't look away, but rather, smiled even more and maintained his eye contact.
In my experience, most guys look away after a second or two, but #26 never did. The prolonged eye contact sent a clear message that he was both confident and interested. Thanks to #26, one of the first things I teach my clients is to extend their eye contact and pay attention to others who reciprocate it.
Even when you're meeting someone in a platonic context, your ability to sustain eye contact is crucial. Let's say you're at a professional conference and you spot someone you'd like to meet. See if you can hold their gaze for at least three seconds. (You can smile politely so it doesn't seem creepy!) If they look right back at you, you can walk over and introduce yourself.
3. If you're on the shyer side, roll with an outgoing wingperson
There's a story I like to share with my clients who are somewhat quiet. The lesson is that, even if you are naturally shy and don't like to be forward, you can ask one of your outgoing friends or colleagues to be your wingman. Not only will you learn from them, but they'll help you create more opportunities to meet people.
I met date #21 at work, when I was a server at a steakhouse in San Francisco. He was there with his friend, Sam, an outgoing guy who told me he had recently gotten married and was expecting his first child. If I didn't know better, I would have thought that Sam was flirting with me, but as it turned out, he was just a really good wingman.
#21 was quiet as a mouse. I had no idea he was even interested in pursuing me until the end of their dinner, when Sam got up to use the restroom and told me #21 was interested. I thought it was kind of cute that he was so shy — and he was smart to go out with such an outgoing friend. So I gave him a chance.
If you're going to a networking event, and you have the option of bringing someone with you, consider inviting someone who seems charismatic and loves talking to new people. It will make you feel more comfortable approaching complete strangers, and will give you a sense of how to introduce yourself and start conversations in the future, when you're on your own.
4. Make the person feel comfortable in their environment
Date #70 and I met at a coffee shop on campus that I was very familiar with. He made a great first impression by doing research on my online dating profile and choosing a location in my neighborhood — a place I already felt safe in.
After we ordered coffee, we decided to take a stroll around campus. Walking with him in my own environment felt comfortable and familiar. It seemed to create an association between my feelings for him and my feelings about the environment we were in. My first impression of him was one of comfort and familiarity — the same feelings I felt for my school campus.
If you have a date or a meeting with a new acquaintance coming up, try scheduling the meetup in an environment you know the other person will be comfortable in. If you can't meet them in their office, at least offer to meet them in the neighborhood where they work.
This is a great way to make a positive — albeit somewhat subconscious — first impression on the other person.
Emyli (EmLovz) is a San Francisco Dating Coach who offers worldwide 1-on-1 coaching sessions and online dating courses for men and women.
SEE ALSO: I went on 100 dates in a single year — here are the biggest mistakes people make on first dates
Join the conversation about this story »
NOW WATCH: 'Shark Tank' star Barbara Corcoran shares her keys to making a good first impression