Most of us have exes and past crushes that we look at now and wonder what we ever saw in them.
And while it's easy to blame our attractions on Cupid, a new study making the rounds this week shows that we may be in more control of our romantic attractions than we like to believe.
The study, called "Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings: Preconceptions, Strategies, and Feasibility," asked people to look at photos of their current partner or past love they had recently broken up with, as researchers recorded their feelings.
Then, they asked people to think of positive or negative aspects of their current partner or past partner and researchers again took down their brain waves as they thought about these things.
The results of the study found that those who thought negative thoughts reported feeling less in love and attached to their partner. In turn, those who thought positive things about their partner felt more attachment.
Interestingly, in questionnaires filled out by participants before the study, many people answered that they felt they had no control over how much they loved their current partner or ex. But the study actually found that those same people could begin to control their feelings over time by thinking negative or positive thoughts.
"Love regulation will benefit individuals and society because it could enhance positive effects and reduce negative effects of romantic love," the study reads.
And this makes sense if you think about it: Don't you always feel a little better after complimenting your partner and a little better when you trash an ex over drinks?
And while more research is needed, maybe this is the reminder you don't need to trash your partner to your friends and cut them just a little bit of slack. Your relationship will thank you.
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