Money and marriage can be a tricky business. A survey by SunTrust found that couples gave finances as the main cause of stress in their relationships.
That doesn't have to be the case with you.
Over the last few years, I've interviewed couples who've done some big things with their money, like getting out of six figures of debt, starting a business together, and retiring early.
A huge key to making those dreams happen was being able to work together on their finances. If you're looking to merge your money, here are five crucial steps to help make the process go smoother.
SEE ALSO: 7 questions successful couples should be able to answer
1. Create and design your dream plan
First things first, let's start defining what your goals are as a couple. Why? Too many couples don't have a clear idea of where they want their money to go. They're living paycheck to paycheck because they are trying to do everything and they end up doing nothing well.
They're living paycheck to paycheck because they are trying to do everything and they end up doing nothing well.
Part of the problem with getting their finances squared away is how they approach it. For many couples, it can be a chore. The truth is many times, it's described like one. Take retirement.
How would you plan for retirement? Would you pull up one of those free calculators with a ton of questions that are supposed to get you to think about every possible expense and scenario?
If so, you probably were overwhelmed by everything you think you have to consider and surprised by the number spat out that you ‘need' to save.
And looking at that number isn't really motivating, is it?
You two could do more if you thought of your financial goals in terms of planning an epic vacation.
One of the first steps in preparing for a trip is figuring out where you want to go and what you want to do.
For us, we usually have a couple of places in mind, so we start digging in and googling “[name of place] + awesome things to do.” We then sit down and talk about our options.
Sometimes we make compromises, other times we win each other over with why our idea is better. After we have a destination and a few ideas of what we want to see and do there, we then start working the trip into our budget.
You can do the same thing with your big goals. Yes, there's a financial component to them, but you begin with defining what you want to do and then you can discuss hows about the money.
If you haven't already, set aside some time so you two can share what you'd like to accomplish.
Planning your retirement is a smart move, but I admit it can seem too far away to picture clearly. In that situation, I'd suggest bringing the goal in closer and make a plan for the next year or two.
You probably have a few things you do agree on and that's what you should begin. You may agree that the credit card debt is draining you and getting rid of it is a priority.
Having some wins with your money (including smaller ones) as a couple can strength your relationship and help you get more comfortable communicating.
2. Build a financial snapshot
The second key with merging your finances is knowing where you're starting from. This can be scary, especially if you haven't talked about this before.
When we were engaged it was an eye opener and I admit it was awkward, but that initial conversation helped us to see what we needed to work on and it was an opportunity to come together.
Knowing your net worth isn't complicated (basically assets- liabilities), but if you have several accounts between the two of you, it can be cumbersome.
Today there are many free and low-cost tools that can pull your accounts and give your numbers quickly and easily.
Some of my favorite choices out there now are:
• Mint
• Tiller
Which one you choose is up to you, but make sure it's a system you find easy. That'll make your money dates go smoothly.
3. Build a budget you both love
Budgets and spending plans – they seem to stress people out. No matter what you call it, just know that's your plan for your money. You can make it as detailed or as big pictured as you want.
The key is getting a budget that is easy for you to maintain and that fits your personalities.
If you're not a fan of traditional budgets and find them too difficult to track, here are a few ideas that may be a better fit for you.
50/20/30: This three bucket system allows you to take care of the bills, save for your future, and have some fun now. If you need to keep tabs on certain areas, like eating out, apps like ProActive Budget can help.
Zero-Based: Each one of your dollars has a purpose on this plan. While doing it manually can be a bit much there are some great tools like EveryDollar, You Need a Budget, and Tiller that can make the process much easier and pretty much automatic.
One Income Living: If you two would like to retire sooner, then budgeting all of your essentials under one income is the simplest route to go. Justin and his wife from Root of Good were able to retire in their early thirties because of they kept their expenses low. You can use that second income to pay off your debt faster, save for a house, and increase your retirement contribution.
Even if one of you loves to make and update the budget, you should both be in the loop. It'll keep both of you accountable and you can offer up suggestions to make the budget a better fit.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider