Living together can be a major adjustment for any couple. But when you're used to being long distance and only seeing each other a few times a month and on computer screens, the jump to moving in together can become a little overwhelming.
With a few tips and some patience, you can adjust to living under the same roof and make your new home a happy one.
Figure out your finances.
When you were long-distance, you may have treated your partner to expensive meals and dates when you could see each other, but that may not be an option anymore. So as unromantic as this sounds, you need to make a plan for expenses.
There are plenty of apps that can help you organize your expenses — some apps like Splitwise keep a running tally of how much you're owed or remind you when you owe someone else, and apps like Mint help you make a budget and stick to it.
Maybe you split expenses based on income or each of you takes a bill. Whatever works for you, just make sure you have a plan in place so it doesn't become a fight in the future.
Get over the "hard-to-get" factor.
While it's a tough situation, there are some romantic aspects of being long-distance. The anticipation of finally seeing your significant other after weeks or months of being apart can really skew the notion of what a normal relationship looks like.
"When you're dating someone long distance, you suffer from an artificial sense of attraction to that person," Carlos Cavallo, a dating and relationships coach, told INSIDER. "In other words, circumstances block you from seeing that person, which creates a sense of 'hard to get' about the other person. That makes him or her feel more scarce than he actually is. That will create a feeling of attraction — even if the attraction isn't completely real."
Don't let the everyday monotony of a relationship get you down. Cherish the time you have together and don't compare it to your long-distance times.
Give each other space.
It may seem counter-productive, but once you get together, you will occasionally need some time apart. Being together constantly can cause fights, so make sure you strike a balance.
"It was an amazing experience to be with one another all the time, though we had to make some changes," said author Rhonda Boyle, who moved in with her then-boyfriend after meeting on a cruise ship and living long-distance for nine months. "I had to learn to give him space at the end of the day to recharge his batteries.
A great way to do this is to get a hobby. It can be the gym, painting, reading, museums, whatever brings you joy. Therapists even suggest "solo times" for yourself or some close friends to show yourself you can have fun without one another, too.
"Solo Night might look like he goes off bowling with the guys, while she stays in, binges on Netflix, and stains her night-shirt with popcorn butter — you know, like she used to when she was single," said Wendy Newman, author of 121 First Dates. "And maybe the next week, they flip the script and she's out while he's in. We get a little taste of freedom, and a little re-connection to our solitary self. This brings balance so we don't lose ourselves in the relationship."
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