The INSIDER Summary:
- Kristen Bell revealed in an interview that she and Dax Shepard actually broke up shortly after they began dating.
- He dumped her because he didn't want a relationship.
- Shepard, of course, realized the error of his ways, and they got back together.
- This proves that a breakup is not the end of a relationship for good.
Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard are one of Hollywood's favorite couples. They seem totally perfect for each other — they're both hilarious, good-looking, and share an intense love of "Game Of Thrones."
But like any relationship, they've had their fair share of problems and rocky times. Bell recently told PopSugar that she and Shepard actually broke up around the beginning of their relationship.
Bell told the site that she already knew she was in love with him just after a few weeks, but that he sat her down and told her that they had to end things because they didn't want the same thing to come out of the relationship.
"He sat me down and said, 'I can't have this right now. I think you're wonderful, but I am still dating other people,'" she said. "And then I, like, liquefied and fell to the ground, but I felt incredibly respected that he had the balls to tell me we weren't in the same place."
The actress told PopSugar that she knew Shepard made a mistake, and sure enough, Shepard realized the same thing himself a few days later and called Bell to ask for a second chance.
"He called me and he was like, 'I don't know what I was thinking. I was dating someone else but they're just not as interesting as you, and I don't know what I'm doing,' and he came back," she said.
As we know, things ended happily for Shepard and Bell, who were married in 2013, but many will wonder if this same thing can happen with us mere mortals. Namely, if we aren't Kristen Bell, can a relationship really survive, and thrive, if it's paused by a breakup?
Well, that really depends on you two. If you both truly want to give your relationship another go, it can absolutely be done, and it can improve your relationship overall — you'll just need to keep a few things in mind.
Evaluate your reasoning for getting back together.
Think long and hard about why you want to be with this person again. It can be tempting following a breakup — especially a serious one — to jump back into the arms of someone who is comfortable.
It's one thing if you truly feel like you and your ex made a mistake breaking up and that you're ready to fix your problems, but if you're just feeling lonely and sad, give it some more time before you try again.
"If fear or insecurity keeps you in the relationship, you will find yourself back in an unsatisfying relationship. Be mindful about how it feels to be in the relationship and assessing if this is right for you," relationship therapist Rhonda Milrad told INSIDER.
Reflect on why you broke up.
If you're choosing to get back together, it's a great time to talk about why you broke up in the first place. Was it a red flag? Did someone cheat? Was the spark gone from the relationship? Figure out what the factors were and make sure all parties are clear on what happened.
Once you isolate and agree that those were the issues you had, figure out a plan of action for how you're going to fix them. Breakups are never fun, but they can be a golden opportunity to have some serious discussions about the state of your relationship and how to make sure it won't happen again.
"In order to successfully rebuild the relationship so it functions like a new relationship and not a rehashing of the old, your partner must also have gained the same clarity surrounding himself, your relationship, and your breakup," breakup coach Chelsea Leigh Trescott told INSIDER. "Both people must come back together with a clear mind and new eyes."
Seek help.
Post-breakup is a wonderful time to seek therapy or counseling. Whether you both go as a couple, or you go individually, speaking to someone objective can really help you hash out what went wrong in your relationship and what you want to get right this time.
If you don't feel comfortable with therapy, you can get a mutual friend to be a mediator in discussing your relationship issues or confide in someone you trust to give you honest feedback.
This doesn't have to stop once you're through your rough patch too — Shepard and Bell are open about their positive experiences with couples therapy.
Take it slow.
Whatever you do, you don't have to go all in right away on your new love. A breakup inevitably changes a relationship and it will probably never be the same — which is for the best. You don't want a relationship like you had last time because that's why you broke up. It's best to take things at a slower pace and really feel out what your new relationship is like.
You'll make mistakes and so will they because that's what all couples do. But now that you know what a breakup means for the two of you, the stakes are higher. Hopefully, it will cause you to cherish and value your partner and work at making your love better every day.
"If two people return to each other with a new perspective on themselves and why they need to be back together, their relationship won't be the same," Trescott said. "But that's the point. It shouldn't be the same relationship. It should be a stronger, greater, more sincere love than the last time around."
Since it all worked out for Bell and Shepard, she told PopSugar that she doesn't hesitate to remind her husband about that one time that he dumped her.
"But I still always remind him of when he broke up with me," she told PopSugar.
If you're reconciling with your ex, here's hoping you can joke about it one day, too.
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