The INSIDER Summary:
- There have been reports that Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield are thinking about getting back together.
- But it looks like the two are just really friendly exes.
- If you want to be friends with your ex too, it can be done. It just takes some patience.
Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone were truly a favorite celebrity couple until they split in 2015. Since then, they've been spotted out together pretty frequently, and fans have been hoping for a reconciliation.
Recently, reports of the pair being romantically involved have ramped up, with many outlets reporting that the two are just on the verge of a breakthrough. Stone visited Garfield in London where he's performing "Angels in America" at the National Theatre, according to People magazine, and they were seen leaving the show together.
Sources were admittedly mixed in the People report, with some saying that the pair still had feelings for each other but are not together because the "timing" isn't right, and others saying that they are still dear friends who will always support each other.
The latter would make sense since these two have always had glowing things to say about each other. Garfield even picked Stone to be stuck on a desert island with in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter.
While we're selfishly still rooting for the two to reunite in a relationship, they are a refreshing reminder that exes can still be great friends. After all, you liked the person enough to date them, and many times breakups happen not because anyone did anything vile, but because the situation wasn't quite right.
Staying best buds with your ex is not always easy, but if you'd like to go the way of Stone and Garfield, there's a few things you should know.
Give yourself time.
It can be tempting to launch right into a friendship with your ex following a breakup. You miss them and probably want them in your life in any way shape or form.
But even Stone and Garfield probably gave themselves a mourning period. If you go right from a relationship into a friendship, you're putting off the time when you should be healing and reflecting on the relationship without them. If they're still in your life, you won't be able to process what your new life is like.
Giving yourself space lets both of you know that the friendship that will follow is pure. By waiting, you ensure that you are reconnecting as friends because you genuinely enjoy each others' company and you're choosing to keep each other around.
By jumping right into a friendship, you risk having to cut them off later down the line if you find you're not healing correctly. You don't have to make it mean, but you both need to take minute to yourself.
Make certain topics off-limits.
Once you do become friends again, you need to set some ground rules.
You might be tempted to share every bit of your life with that person, but like it or not, they're not just another one of your buddies. Try not to mention new dates and flings or really anything about your love life to them, at least for a while.
There will eventually be a time, especially if your friendship lasts, that they will have to meet your new significant other, but it's best to lay off the topic until you have to bring it up.
Don't put yourself in weird situations.
Going on a trip with a bunch of friends? Don't opt to share a room. Going on a night out? Don't go back to their place for one last nightcap.
Keep yourself out of hot water by avoiding a situation in which a random hookup may happen or old feelings may crop up. Again, they're not just your friend, so keep this history in mind and avoid moments alone when you're not your best self.
If you find yourself catching feelings, step back.
Even with your most pure intentions at heart, being around this person cause some old feelings, especially when you're feeling lonely and you're having fun together.
It's one thing if you guys really want to work on getting back together (looking at you, Garfield and Stone!) but if you want to keep things platonic, you need to step back.
Be honest with your friend and say that you need a little time to yourself because you think you're spending a little too much intimate time together. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, keep things light and in groups for a while.
If you truly think you can't handle the heat, you may want to shelve the friendship for longer.
Etch yourself out a new place.
I don't want to sound like a broken record, but an ex who is now your friend is not just like any other friend. They occupy a weird and wonderful space in your life.
This friendship does not have to be a less loving and intimate one, especially since they know you so well. But you need to be comfortable knowing that they have to break the mold of what you think a friendship is.
Cut yourself and your friend some slack, it's not easy being friends with an ex. But if you work at it, it could be one of the most wonderful relationships you cultivate.