The INSIDER Summary:
- Anna Faris said that she rejects the idea that ex Chris Pratt had to be both her partner and her best friend.
- She said she values the friendships in her life — especially with her friends who identify as women.
- This can be a lesson to everyone not to make your partner your whole world.
It's an old cliche that you should marry your best friend, but in the wake of her breakup from Chris Pratt, Anna Faris sad she thinks that's pretty overrated.
In a column for Cosmopolitan magazine made from an excerpt of her new book "Unqualified," Faris said that she was often enamored with making her male friends like her and was convinced she was a "guy's girl." But now, she is proud of have strong friendship with the women in her life.
"In my 20s, I thought it was cool to say I was a guys’ girl. I didn’t realize until later how lame I sounded, bragging as though having a lot of girlfriends was a bad thing," Faris wrote. "Back then, I thought that having the approval of my stoner guy friends was of greater value than having the approval of beautiful blonde sorority girls, so I touted my male friends as if my association with them spoke to how cool I really was. I was selling my own gender down the river, and I wasn’t even getting any fulfillment from the relationships with those dudes."
Faris added that she was told Pratt should be her best friend because they were married, but she never bought into that IDEA.
"I was once told that I didn’t need a tight group of girlfriends because Chris should be my best friend," she wrote. "But I never bought that. The idea of your mate being your best friend — it’s over hyped. I really believe that your partner serves one purpose and each friend serves another."
Faris makes several really great points here. For many people who identify as women, friendships with other women can be a source of strength and a study even suggested that there is something powerful and calming about close friendships among those who identify as women.
She also makes a great point about valuing all of the relationships in our lives, and that having your partner as your best friend may not be the best thing in the long run.
It can rob you of growing with other people.
Sure, having new experiences and moments with your partner can be a great way to grow your relationship. If, however, you're focused only on the experiences you have with them, you may be missing out.
By separating your partner and "best friend" relationships, you allow your friends to occupy an important space in your life. When you make your friends a priority, you open yourself up to more intimate moments and bonding with them. This can result in some pretty fantastic memories and some experiences that can have a big impact on your life.
A study suggested that friendships can have a really big impact on your health as you get older, so it's pretty important to keep those relationship intact.
It can wreak havoc on your relationship.
Having your partner act as your best friend and romantic counterpart puts a ton of pressure on them. They become your sole confidant on the important things, which doesn't really bode well for either of you.
If they make you mad, you won't have an impartial party to vent to. Additionally, if you don't have special people to sit and council you, you will only rely on your partner.
"Successful couples maintain a strong support system," therapist Jim Seibold told INSIDER. "They find a balance between the relationship and their friends and family. They have friends in common, but also feel comfortable spending time with friends outside of the relationship."
It can lead you to feel lonely and vulnerable.
A good relationship is nothing to scoff at, but if that's your end-all-be-all relationship in your life, you may find yourself feeling empty a lot of the time.
If your partner is away or angry with you or if you're scrolling through your Instagram feed looking at all the #BFF posts, you may realize that there are so many wonderful people in your life that would enrich in your life if you kept them close. And you're missing out on it.
It can put you in a bad spot if you break up.
We've all been there: your friend who seems to have been MIA for the past year suddenly calls in tears and wants to get brunch immediately because they've been dumped. If you're a good friend, you'll probably go and comfort them, but a little part of you will always resent them for how they cast you aside when they got into a relationship.
Keeping that healthy balance between your friends and your partner shows that you value those people enough not to completely blow them off when things are good. And it also means that they'll be more likely to be there for you when things get bad.
Give Pratt and Faris's recent breakup, we hope she's getting some support from those friends right about now.
You can read the entirety of Faris's post here.
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