The INSIDER Summary:
- A father and writer wrote a post about "rules" for dating his daughters.
- It was a more feminist take on the usual possessive memes that circulate on this subject.
- The post has gone viral.
There's a weird stereotype when daughters start dating of the dad waiting by the door with a shotgun, joking about how he'll somehow maim her date if they (usually he) do anything that the dad deems disrespectful.
This stereotype has morphed itself in the internet age to memes about the "rules" for dating my daughter. But one dad took a more empowering and feminist approach to this, and his post is going viral.
Writer J. Warren Welch from Tennessee crafted a post with the title "Rules for dating my daughters" and posted it on various social media sites on September 3.
"You'll have to ask them what their rules are," the post reads. "I'm not raising my little girls to be the kind of women who need their daddy to act like a creepy, possessive badass in order for them to be treated with respect. You will respect them, and if you don't, I promise they won't need my help putting you back in your place."
Hetold TODAY.com that he'd seen the type of memes about dads with their shotguns and it made him uncomfortable, so he decided to craft his own.
"I understand the urge to protect your daughters," Welch told TODAY Parents. "I get that. But the kind of posturing by fathers of daughters I was specifically responding to had nothing to do with that 'protective instinct' and everything to do with asserting their dominance over women and reinforcing a belief that women need men to take care of them."
Welch and his wife Natasha have two 16-year-old daughters, Ashton and Jade, as well as 13-year-old Darcy, 12-year-old Carmen, and 7-year-old Laney from previous relationships, according to TODAY.com. He expressed his gratitude for his daughters, saying that he knows full well they don't need him speaking for them in relationships because they're so brilliant.
"That is exactly why I know that my daughters don't need my help making important decisions about their relationships. These girls are my heroes!" he told TODAY.
The post about his brilliant daughters seemed to strike a chord with many parents and daughters themselves. The post went viral, being shared more than 11,000 times on Facebook, with an overwhelming amount of positive feedback, Welch wrote in a separate post.
"Raising strong girls! Amen," one commenter wrote. "God, yes. Possessive parents need to chill on treating their kids like property and like they have no sense," a Facebook commenter said.
And there were a lot of people who said their dads had a similar attitude. "My sisters and I are a product of the philosophy you engage with your children. I assure you, your promise will hold true," another commenter wrote.
Welch told INSIDER that his daughters don't quite know what to make of their dad's new viral fame, but that the positive reaction has given him some hope about the state of the world.
"I think the girls are still processing it," he told INSIDER. "My oldest stepdaughter did inform me that she likes BMWs, so I think she's maintaining a healthy perspective. The response has been overwhelmingly positive, which really gives me a lot of hope for the world my girls live in."
Welch said that through all of the craziness, he's thankful he has some amazing women by his side.
"The only thing going through my mind right now is the fact that I DESPERATELY NEED MY WIFE," he wrote in a post. "Natasha is the only reason I feel safe sharing the things I share, and the exciting events of the past couple of days never would have happened if it wasn't for the amazing way that she loves me."
In a world where it's seen as a loving act to be possessive of women and girls, it's refreshing to see a father showing an example of a healthy relationship with his children. And while every parent will find what's right for them, we can all learn a little something from Welch.
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