The INSIDER Summary:
- A month ago, the blog "Ask A Manager" posted a story about a man who ghosted his girlfriend of three years by moving out of their shared home, and out of the country.
- People were furious about it.
- We finally have an update and it didn't work out well for the letter writer.
- His ex is doing just fine.
Last month, a man wrote into the blog "Ask A Manager" to pose a ridiculous and infuriating question: What happens when the woman you ghosted after dating for three years suddenly becomes your boss?
Well, we finally have an update on that infamous gentleman — and it's been worth the wait.
For the uninitiated, an anonymous letter-writer wrote in with inquiry about his ex-girlfriend who he dated for three years. He confessed that he broke things off with her by moving out of their shared apartment and out of the country while she was on vacation without telling her.
"Over the Christmas break, while she was visiting her family, I simply moved out and left the country," he wrote. "I took advantage of the fact that I accepted a job in other country and did not tell her about it. I simply wanted to avoid being untangled in a break-up drama."
The man proceeded to call his ex — who he said he had lived with for two years — "emotional," and expressed bewilderment that she contacted his friends and family after he had disappeared without a trace. As Alison Green, the author of Ask A Manager, pointed out, his ex probably thought he was dead.
This might seem like a case of an extremely horrible man who gets away unscathed, but this is where it gets interesting: A decade later, the man has just found out that "Sylvia" is going to be his boss at the school he works at. He asked Green for advice on whether or not he should tell Sylvia before she starts and Green was understandably shocked, as was the internet.
On Tuesday, the man finally followed up with Green and in her words, his response was "satisfying." The writer informed Green and her readers that "Sylvia" is actually doing great.
"Those who blamed me for ruining Sylvia’s life for good were wrong," he wrote. "She has done very well for herself. She is married, with kids, and her husband is originally from here. They relocated because of his business opportunity, not because she would be stalking me or would orchestrate this in some elaborate vendetta. It is a crazy coincidence but as some readers pointed out, our professional world can be very small."
The writer said that he emailed Sylvia on her old email address and her new work one. She didn't answer but a few days later, the writer said he was asked to attend a meeting with the chair of his board. Sylvia was also present at the meeting, which the writer explains was "awkward."
"Fortunately, unlike some of your readers hope, they did not think the past failed relationship was a sackable offense," he wrote.
The writer said that the chair was worried about gossip and asked to put up some guidelines and barriers for the writer and his ex to follow so as to not cause drama. The writer said he found the matters "excessive" so he resigned his job on the spot, something he said in his original letter was not an option. He added that he will be moving "home" to work as a substitute teacher.
"So I had my comeuppance. I am most certainly not asking for pity. I only wish there were not other individuals bearing the blunt of my immaturity in the past," he wrote.
As for "Sylvia"? The writer said that she seems to be doing well and was not as smug as many readers hoped she'd be in the situation.
"She seemed fine. She was not gleeful, very matter of fact, saying it was possible to work together," he wrote.
While it's always unfortunate when someone loses their job — even if it's by their own hand — this viral and incredible story is a reminder that everyone deserves respect. Though it may be easier to disappear without a trace when your partner of three years is out of the country, you should probably at least shoot them a text first.
Or, you know, have a conversation like an adult.
You can read the full original post and the update on Ask A Manager.
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