The INSIDER Summary:
- Kristen Bell said that her now-husband Dax Shepard was not cool with her habit of leaving in a huff during fights.
- Bell called the behavior "toxic" and said that once he pointed that out, she stopped.
- Of course there are appropriate times to walk away during fights, but Bell is right — most of the time you should try and stick around.
Actors Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have been open about overcoming obstacles and working on issues in their relationship together. But Bell revealed that Shepard had to call her out on a "toxic" behavior early on.
Bell told Harry Connick, Jr. on an episode of his show "Harry," that in the first year of their relationship they were working out the kinks. One of their biggest issues is that when they would fight, she'd pull out her signature move: the dramatic exit.
"The first year, you are working out your kinks. I loved it," she told Connick Jr. "We'd get in a fight, because we would fight a lot, and I'd, like, yell something then slam the bedroom door, then I'd slam the front door, then I'd get in my car and then I'd skid out the driveway and I would sit around the corner in my car and it felt so good."
But Bell said that Shepard told her that her flair for abruptly exiting when things got too rough wasn't going to fly with him.
"I realized how incredibly toxic it was only after he pointed it out," Bell said.
"Three months into our relationship he was like, 'You can't leave anymore during fights. I'm not going to do that,'" she continued.
Bell said that it's Shepard's "strong code of ethics" that turns him off to this behavior.
"I was like, 'What?' He's like you can't do that, I'm not going to have a relationship," Bell said. "He has a very high standard and a strong code of ethics. He was like, 'No, I have more respect for myself, I love you but I'm not going to do that my whole life.'"
The actress clearly took his words to heart because the couple has been married since 2013 and seem better than ever.
Experts agree that sometimes, there is nothing wrong with walking away from a fight. If you've talked it out and both agree you need space, you feel unsafe, or you occasionally feel like you need to leave before you say something you regret.
But in a case like Bell's, she's right in that you shouldn't be slamming the doors in anger and rushing off to your car the second there is conflict. If you can, you should stay and work things out, even if you both cool off in other parts of your house for a bit. Leaving in a huff can make your partner feel abandoned, but even staying under the same roof with them shows that you're willing to work things out.
You can watch Bell's full conversation on the topic here.
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