The INSIDER Summary:
- Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick had an explosive fight about their new romances.
- Kardashian and Disick are very close and co-parent their children, but their fights prove that they need to discuss boundaries.
- This is something that all exes who have to co-parent can learn from.
If you're constantly confused about the status of reality stars Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick's relationship, you're not alone.
The famous exes are often seen out together, going on joint vacations, and even getting cozy on Instagram. Despite this, they actually haven't been romantic partners for years. They seem to want to keep things as normal as possible for their three children, hence why Scott is often present for Kardashian family vacations — even if he does sneak a woman along and hides her in his hotel room.
But that can actually make things more complicated, as evidenced by last night's episode of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians." In one scene, Kourtney is seen giving Scott a heads up because she was photographed out on a date and she figured the photos would get out. Scott did not take it very well, and could be heard screaming obscenities to Kourtney on the phone.
Scott then complains to Kourtney's mom, Kris Jenner, that Kourtney is having fun on a girls trip to Mexico, and that he is no longer invited to important trips with her.
“The last thing I want to do is really hear exactly what Kourt's doing on this Mexican getaway," he said in a confessional. "I get a little jealous because I wish we could have had some of those types of times when we were together.”
Kourtney later called out the hypocrisy of Scott's comments, telling Kris that she has to deal with Scott going out with "hookers" every day.
"He sits there and grovels and feels bad for himself … why can't he get it together?" she asked. "I have to handle it when he's out photographed with a different hooker every day. He's clearly doing his own thing."
Clearly the ex-couple has a lot of unresolved feelings towards each other, both romantically and as parents. And although it's great that they feel that they can be close and co-parent, these type of blowouts are a reminder that every relationship needs boundaries — especially when kids are involved.
In fact, there's a lot any ex-couple can learn from this dust-up.
Start slow.
Things are going to be raw when you first begin to co-parent as exes. You're going through all of the stages of grief that you normally do in a break up, but this time, you have to deal with seeing this person often and putting on a brave face around your children.
Give yourself healing time like you would when any other relationship ends — try to see them as little as you can.
Maybe eventually you can go on vacations together as a family and be one big happy, modern family. But that doesn't have to happen right away. If you have supportive parents or friends, you can have them pickup your kids from your ex and bring them to you so you don't have to see them every week. Maybe you keep things formal for a while.
It doesn't have to be forever, but giving yourself time in the beginning will save you some headaches later.
Make things different than when you were a couple.
You're still parents and teammates, but your relationship is not the same as it once was. That means that you should make things feel as different for the two of you as possible, while still keeping things as normal as possible for your kids.
So no sharing beds, no romantic dinners, and keep touching to a minimum. Being in these familial spaces can be confusing, especially if you have some residual feelings for this person, but make it as easy on yourself as possible and try to eliminate romantic distractions.
Try to eliminate hurtful encounters.
You can be as friendly as you want, but your ex probably still doesn't want a reminder of what once was. Be gentle with their feelings, and don't discuss romantic prospects with them. If you are dating, try not to have your new boo answer the door in their underwear when your ex comes to drop the kids off.
Eventually, you'll both have to deal with the other moving on. And although you probably don't need to worry about tipping them off to possible paparazzi photos of you on a date like Kourtney did, you should sit them down, once something is serious, and inform them of the new person in your life. From there you can discuss their comfort level of meeting this person and having them meet your kids.
Assess things often.
No same arrangement is going to work for two different couples and what worked for you when you first broke up may not work for you now.
Take the time, if something doesn't feel right, to address it with your ex calmly. Maybe the sight of them with their new fling drives you bananas and suddenly you need more space or you had space for a while and maybe now you're both fine to go out to dinner as a blended family. Whenever you want to move a boundary line, have a discussion about it.
And try not to scream obscenities at them on TV.
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