Manipulative people can be found in every walk of life. You might meet them at work where they take credit for your achievements, or in social situations where they are controlling, demanding, and even abusive.
Knowing the right words to deal with these people can give you the strength to stand up to them or walk away. In the cases of romantic relationships, manipulation is probably a sign of an abusive relationship, so the best thing to do is to run fast and far away.
Once equipped with the terms, it can be easier to see manipulative people for who they really are, and you can gain the strength to walk away.
Here are 9 phrases you should know if you think someone is manipulating you, and what they mean.
1. Monitoring
In the first stages of a romantic relationship, it's normal to feel butterflies, and want to know what your new partner is doing all the time. However, if the person you're starting to be intimate with is manipulative then their affection and attention could be love bombing.
Lisa Aronson Fontes is a psychology researcher at the University of Massachusetts Amherst and author of "Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship." She told Business Insider that if your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to be in constant contact with you, it could be a warning sign. In fact, constant texts and phone calls can be a form of stalking.
Not replying to the barrage of messages may end with you being on the receiving end of your partner's wrath, which is a huge red flag. You deserve your space, and anyone worth your time will know and respect this.
2. Object constancy
Everybody falls out sometimes, especially in romantic relationships. However, the level to which manipulative people like narcissists get angry with their significant others is beyond what is acceptable.
Those with personality disorders like narcissism lack something called "object constancy," which is the ability to keep your positive feelings about someone whilst also being angry, annoyed, or disappointed in them.
When they hurl insults and scream at their partner, narcissists don't feel any of the affectionate feelings they once had. That's why they can seem like a completely different person in these moments, like Jekyll and Hyde. Their reaction is so powerful it can make the victim feel as though they must be in the wrong, which means they start altering their behaviour to make their controlling partner happy.
3. Moth to a flame
Contrary to popular belief, manipulative people often seek out those who are strong and confident to prey on, because it makes them feel superior. Targeting vulnerable people doesn't make them feel powerful, so they will often go after you because they see the positives in you — like a moth to a flame.
If someone is manipulating you at work, it's probably because they see your skills and they want to look like they're even more skilled than you. In a relationship, they want other people to know that someone as great as you has chosen to be with them. It's only behind the scenes that they start to bring you down, because that way they can start to break your confidence. Lower self-esteem makes it more likely you'll stick with a controlling partner, because you may feel like it's what you deserve.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider