This was a conversation I never planned on having. Sharing my hopes and dreams? A cliche, but sure. Talking about my childhood? Understandable. But I never envisioned sitting across my dented coffee table in my way-too-small apartment, talking to the man I was falling in love with about my history with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and anxiety.
Thankfully, there’s a way to talk to your partner about your mental health that makes a potentially uncomfortable conversation much easier.
In the ideal world, these conversations would be as casual as contemplating dinner options or discussing weekend plans. After all,nearly 1 in 5 Americans suffer from mental illness every year. Mental illness is a common affliction, so discussions about symptoms, treatments, triggers, and how to support someone affected should be just as common. They’re not, though, due to stigma surrounding mental health.
When I realized I had met the man I could feasibly share my life (and the last pint of ice cream) with, I knew that meant sharing my diagnosis. If we were going to co-exist and be one another’s “people,” we needed to arm one another with the tools to adequately support one another through every up and down life, and mental illness. would throw our way. As individuals, and as a couple.
So if you’re in the same boat, know that there are tools at your disposal to discuss your mental health with your partner in a way that will be beneficial for you both.
Be aware of the potential outcomes
Before discussing your a mental illnesses with your partner, it’s paramount that you go into the conversation with a few reactions in mind. Avi Steinhardt, a licensed clinic social worker in Brooklyn, NY, told HuffPo that, “Many ofthe risks of disclosing a mental illness are similar to the risks of falling in love.”
How someone will react, and/or whether or not they will “stick around” are reasons why this conversation can be particularly daunting. But how you partner responds will be a look into who they are as an individual, and how they would and/or could support you in the future. “If there is a risk that they won’t be sensitive enough, it is also good to know early on that this person would likely not be a good match,” Steinhart said.
The National Institute of Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that three reactions are possible. Some people won’t consider mental health conditions an issue, others may not be able to handle their concerns and, in turn, will end the relationship, and some will respond with uncertainty or curiosity, and ask and/or seek out more information in an effort to understand the information that has just been shared with them.
Wait until you’re ready
Disclosing your mental illnesses anddiscussing the state of your mental health are a personal decisions. You are under no obligation to divulge information about your mental health, even to a loved one. So NAMI suggests you know why you’re choosing this moment to have this particular conversation. Don’t force it, and don’t talk until you’re ready.
Practice
If you’re feeling unsure as to how to handle the conversation, NAMI suggests youpractice with a mental health professional, such as a therapist. “You can discuss any worries you may have about any issues, questions, and comments that might arise.” A few practice runs can also help you clarify your thinking and ensure that you’re speaking clearly enough for your partner to understand to the best of their ability.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider