- It can be tough to meet your partner's parents and impress them.
- INSIDER asked an expert how you can get on their good side.
- Relationship expert April Masini recommended doing your research, finding a good venue to meet them in, and being as kind as possible.
Meeting your partner’s parents for the first time can be daunting. After all, these people could one day become your family or have the potential to permanently change your partner’s opinion of you.
Regardless of how stressful it may be, there are luckily a few easy steps you can take to remove some of the pressure.
We spoke to relationship expert April Masini, founder of therelationship advice forum, "Ask April," to find out the best thing you should do when you meet your significant other’s parents.
Do your research.
Masini told INSIDER that it’s important to start preparing even before you meet your significant other’s parents.
"Find out from your partner what sets their parents off," Masini told INSIDER. "For instance, if they’re staunch political advocates or if they tend to be very religious — get a head’s up so you can steer clear of talking politics or making comments about religion. Basically, get briefed on what they’re like and ask specifically, what you should not talk about and why. Forewarned is forearmed."
Figure out the best place to meet them.
Where you meet your significant other’s parents could be critical to how the interaction goes. You want to make sure the venue is a place where everyone feels comfortable. Masini recommended meeting your partner’s parents over coffee, cocktails, or dinner but only if everyone is happy about meeting each other.
"When there is conflict in the relationships, this exposed get together scenario can become the basis for bickering and a bad first meet up," she warned. "On the other hand, it can be the start of a beautiful relationship if everyone gets along."
For couples who want to ease the relationship along in baby steps, Masini recommended avoiding a two-on-two dinner and instead inviting their partner to a party with their parents so that the meeting is special but in a group setting.
Always have good manners.
If all else fails and you accidentally pick the wrong venue or bring up the wrong topic, having good manners can help you work your way out of those situations and do damage control.
"The most important advice, hands down, is to use good manners," Masini said. "The reason is that by doing so, you’re showing respect. You’re also showing that you’re educated in a way that isn’t taught in any school. When your partner’s parents see you have good manners, you’re broadcasting the fact that you know how to behave in social situations, and this is currency in relationships. Your partner’s parents are going to be much more eager to introduce you to their friends and family members when they see your good manners because they’ll feel you fit in, and they’ll feel proud to be associated with you."
Masini recommended displaying your manners by bringing a hostess gift if you’re meeting the parents at their home, asking them how they’d like for you to address them, knowing which silverware or glassware to use for what, and by not getting drunk or using curse words.
"You may feel it’s old-fashioned, but for very little effort and no money, you can win big points with these old-school etiquette guidelines," Masini said. "And, when your partner sees you winning over their parents with your good manners, you become more attractive to your partner. Show respect — and you’ll win them over."
Join the conversation about this story »
NOW WATCH: How couples improved their sex lives in just one week