When I attended my 10-year high school reunion back in 2004, my husband and I were recognized for being the high school sweethearts who’d been together the longest. By that point, we had been together for 13 years and married for six. We were, in no way, an anomaly. My friend Heather and her husband started dating just weeks after us, and at least five other couples had also been in together since high school. Unfortunately, by the time the 20-year reunion rolled around, many other high school sweethearts had gone their separate ways.
My husband and I have had our own share of ups and downs in the last 26 years. But I am happy to report that we are still together, and have learned a few important lessons along the way.
There is such a thing as being too young
I started dating my husband when we were both 15. I was a high school freshman and he was a sophomore, and looking back, neither of us had any real romantic experience. At 15, we had no way of knowing how much work and compromise we’d have to put into making our relationship last. We certainly couldn’t have predicted how our futures would be affected by being together since high school. It impacted everything from the colleges we attended, to when we would get married and have kids.
We started so early that we ended up doing everything too soon and too young.
Today, our own daughter is 15 and a high school freshman, and after all that we’ve been through, we can’t imagine her getting into a serious relationship at this age.
You will never be truly happy if you’re always broke
The saying is, "money can’t buy happiness." But after almost 20 years of marriage, and countless financial ups and downs, believe me when I tell you that NOT having money can destroy your relationship.
Most couples are able to survive a financial bump in the road or two. But living paycheck to paycheck for years, never being able to get ahead, and leading a life of constant sacrifice is a surefire recipe for disaster. This is especially true if these sacrifices don’t come with a light at the end of the tunnel such as college degree, a thriving business, or a promotion.
Before getting into a long-term relationship, make sure that you’re both on the same page financially. Consider what you want your future to look like, the kind of income you need in order to make that happen, and what that means as far as your career choices. You don’t need to be rich to be happy, you should just be able to live comfortably and happily within your means. Pay your bills on time, have a little nest egg, and set some money aside to spend on the occasional date night and the weekend getaway.
Don’t stop dating.
It’s no coincidence that the most difficult chapters of our marriage have corresponded with the times we stopped going on date nights. Besides allowing us an opportunity to relax and reconnect as a couple, date nights also give us time to talk about all of the important things we might not be able to discuss in front of the kids
A date doesn’t have to mean getting dressed up and going out to a fancy restaurant. It can mean taking a drive, going on a long walk, or leaving the kids with Grandma overnight so you can have the house to yourselves.
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