- Long-distance relationships can be a challenge for any couple, despite technology that has made communication easier than ever.
- Instead of texting, arrange regular phone calls — by hearing their voice, you are more likely to maintain a level of closeness.
- Make the most of the time apart by focusing on your career, expanding your support system and and practicing self-care.
Gone are the days where hearing from your long-distance lover took months and necessitated a town crier or perhaps a horse or two just to say "hi" back. Long-distance relationships today — with Skype, email, texting, and Twitter — should be easy, right?
Distance may no longer be an obstacle to staying in touch in the modern world, but actually connecting with someone living a few hundred — or thousand — miles away is still no easy feat. Add that to the normal ups and downs of being in a relationship and it's no wonder that long distance relationships (LDRs, for short) don't work for everyone. However LDRs can and do work — it just takes some creativity, communication, and planning.
Below, find five tips to improve your current or future LDR, with help from Shannon Smith, a relationship expert with the online dating service Plenty of Fish and Celeste Headlee, conversation expert at Plenty of Fish and author of the recent book "We Need to Talk."
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1. Don't panic if it's not perfect
Like all relationships, Smith advised that it's OK if you struggle at first: "Expect some initial growing pains — that's normal!" she wrote via email.
2. Talk (on the phone) about it
You need to give your partner (and self) feedback about what's working and what isn't, Smith said. And importantly, you should pick up the phone to have these conversations — texting is not the same as a conversation, Headlee advised. (Plus, what does the heart emoji have on saying, 'I love you?')
"The key to making a LDR work is good communication, and that means phone calls," she continued. "Emails are not a replacement for the human voice (extensive research shows that it's the voice that humanizes us, and makes us feel empathy for another). So, call."
3. Pay attention
When you're only communicating via phone, as Headlee would have it, you've got to work harder to ensure your partner knows you're listening. Headlee suggests sending small, inexpensive gifts to make that clear: "If your partner mentions needing a good book to read, choose one on Amazon and ship it to her. If he's had a rough day, call and have dinner delivered to him," she wrote.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider