Dark triad personalities — narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy — rely on manipulating other people as their source of power. They thrive off creating chaos for everyone around them, under the illusion of being a caring partner or friend.
Narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths are so good at hiding in plain sight, you'll have a hard time identifying them unless you know the signs.
There's also a problem with what we expect these people to be.
When you mention psychopaths, many people will imagine a murderer, rapist, or Hannibal Lecter type. The reality is a lot less dramatic. Someone doesn't have to have committed a violent crime to be diagnosed as a psychopath, and taking a lot of selfies doesn't make someone a narcissist.
They still cause harm to others, but it's more likely to be the emotional and psychological harm that doesn't leave physical scars. That's why they can hop from partner to partner without leaving much of a trace of their destruction.
Doctor of psychology and therapist Perpetua Neo spoke with Business Insider about how dark triad people slip through the cracks, and how our misconceptions can help them manipulate others.
Here are 10 reasons dark triad people are so difficult to spot:
SEE ALSO: The way a narcissist's brain works can help unravel whether they mean to hurt their partners or not
1. They are not all Jack the Ripper
Relatively few psychopaths have a taste for blood. Neo said we tend to believe most psychopaths are in prison, because they are cold-blooded murderers, rapists, or paedophiles, but this simply isn't true for most of them.
She said we tend to ask ourselves if someone is a full-blown psychopath, such as Jack the Ripper, which means we ignore the other signs that they are probably on the spectrum.
"It's just a way we use to justify it to ourselves that there is a good person inside this person, or maybe I'm just bringing the bad side out of this person," she said. "I think the question should be 'are they good to you and are they good for you?'
"Do you really need a person to be Jack the Ripper before you decide to disengage from them?"
2. Their job proves nothing
If someone is respected in the community, it is harder to assume their intentions aren't good. But sometimes, dark triad people will go into professions that will mask their true intentions. Neo said this always makes her think of the Catholic church, and when they tried to cover up the abuse of young children.
"Because somebody is in a position in a community, we think they're a good person," she said. "Just like if someone's a psychologist or therapist, we think they're a good person. But having gifts doesn't make you a good person. We just conflate all these ideas in our head. Which means for instance, a psychopath may choose to work in a charity, in the third sector, so they can look like they're very giving people. That's how they worm their way in."
3. They can actually show empathy
Dark triad people are more or less devoid of empathy. But Neo said there are two types of empathy — cognitive and affective. Affective empathy is when you truly feel something for someone else, whereas cognitive empathy is the ability to recognise the feelings in others.
Narcissists and psychopaths often watch a lot of TV and films, so they are able to develop cognitive empathy and mimic the behaviours that are appropriate in those situations. For example, they may know to give you a hug, but there is no feeling behind it — they're just copying what they've learned.
"They can seem empathetic even if they lack empathy," Neo said. "But it's their everyday behaviour, what kind of contempt leaks out, that matters. If they seem empathetic towards a person, then the next thing you hear might be a strange remark, or a weird sick joke, then you know this person doesn't really have empathy."
See the rest of the story at Business Insider