First dates are always a risk. You might not fancy the person when they show up, or you might end up getting ghosted — or worse— afterwards.
But taking the chance is necessary if you ever want to find a meaningful relationship. Nobody wants to text back and forth forever, and eventually you'll have to meet the person you're talking to.
First dates may be the perfect recipe for nerves, but they are also the perfect opportunity to work out if someone is really right for you. Some people take longer to come out of their shell, and that's fine, but there are some signs you should stay well clear of someone that are immediately apparent on a first date.
Scroll down to see 13 first date red flags that mean you should be careful — or perhaps never see them again.
1. They are late — but don't tell you
Erika Ettin, founder of dating site A Little Nudge, said one immediate red flag is if your date is late without informing you. Everyone gets caught up sometimes, and it's fine to be late if you notify the person what's happened. But turning up half an hour late without saying anything may signal disrespect.
"He or she needs to value your time," Ettin said. And presuming you're fine waiting around for them without knowing where they are is quite insulting.
This isn't necessarily enough to write the person off. Their phone may have run out of battery, or they could have been on a train with no signal. But it is something to be aware of, because you don't want it to become a habit.
2. Their behaviour suggests a control problem
Ettin said it's not a great sign if your date talks the whole time. "While this may be nerves, it may also be a sign of a bit of an ego," she said.
Also, it's not unheard of for someone to actually order for you without asking what you want. While this may simply be a sign of a self-absorbed idiot, it could also be a warning sign that they have some controlling tendencies.
Be careful, because overly repressive behaviour early on could be their way of testing your boundaries. In the long run, this could be an indicator of coercive control.
3. They aren't present
If your date is always on his or her phone, actively checking it throughout the date, or is constantly looking around to see what else (or who else) is out there, they aren't really present, Ettin said.
Of course, they might be waiting on an important call from a relative or a job. But if they don't explain this to you, leaving you to come to your own conclusions, that isn't a particularly good sign.
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