- There's a common misconception that being single automatically means you're lonely.
- As someone who is currently living the single life, I can confidently say that this is not true.
- Singleness allows you to focus on yourself and on self-discovery.
- It also gives you the time to build confidence in certain areas where you may lack it.
Being single is talked about negatively way too often. Whether in movies, in the media, or just in passing, those who are single— whether by an intentional choice to be so or not — are sometimes looked upon as people living less-than-desirable lives. But why do people think being single so bad? Why does not being in a relationship automatically qualify someone as being lonely?
I can proudly say that, contrary to popular belief, I am single and I am not lonely. That's not to say that not being in a romantic relationship can cause the desire to want to be with someone. But, personally, the single life is not a lonely life for me. Here's why.
Being single has its benefits.
As a young 20-something who is just entering the workforce full time, in addition to being in the midst of completing my college education, there's a whole lot on my plate. Finals, deadlines, applications, a social life — it's often hard to remember everything I have to do in one day. And so, because of this, it's hard to even imagine myself dating someone as my time is limited and I'd never want to be in a relationship where I wasn't giving my partner my all.
Being single can decrease the stress in your life.
So for starters, those who are single are not always lonely because, quite frankly, they have a ton going on in their lives. While dating can bring much pleasure, it often can feel like an added stress, and for those who are already stressed to the max, it's just not an extra thought they want to take on.
Being single also gives you the time to focus on yourself.
At the same time, one may choose to be single in order to focus on self-discovery or increasing self-confidence. I've very open about my body image issues and how deep rooted they truly are. In high school or even just a few years back, I could never even imagine having to be completely vulnerable in a physical sense to a significant other because of my utter lack of confidence.
And so, my teenage-self choose to be single and it turned out to be the best decision for me at that time. Living the single life allowed me to focus on myself and my insecurities and to learn, through a long process, how to love my many imperfections. During this period, I wasn't lonely at all; I was finally learning who I was and wanted to completely focus on that.
Of course, singleness can cause loneliness for some.
But, of course, not everyone chooses to be single. At times, you may find yourself unwantedly single which may make you feel, to some degree, lonely. If the desire is there, this is understandable. And, frankly, why is it so bad to feel lonely? It's a natural feeling that some who aren't dating will experience. But what's important to note is that being single and feeling lonely are not mutually exclusive qualities.
Like me, you can be single and not be lonely. Or, like some others, you can be the opposite. Neither one of these situations is unbelievable: some have the desire to date and some do not. So, it's never okay to assume that someone who isn't in a romantic relationship is feeling alone or abandoned. Although these feelings may appear, they certainly don't for everyone, myself included.
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