9 common reasons why people cheat

The reason someone cheats isn't usually as straightforward as not being able to control your hormones. It's messy, convoluted, confusing, and so much deeper than an immature, spur of the moment decision.

According to psychotherapy counselor Claire McRitchie, the reasons someone cheats can be incredibly complex. "When we hear about people cheating we often look at the external factors of their life and question, `why`or `how could they`," McRitchie told INSIDER. "The uncomfortable truth is, the answer lies behind the carefully manufactured exterior – in fact the exterior can often be the clue as to why."

The root cause of infidelity might not always be apparent, but McRitchie said cheaters often have a common link to one and other: Cheating acts as a temporary cure to "alleviate a symptom."

It is for this reason the McRitchie suggests the "symptom" is what causes someone to cheat and figuring out the "root cause" of this symptom can help better understand someone's choice to be unfaithful to their partner. While there are many reasons why people choose to be faithless, McRitchie reiterates that infidelity acts as a mask for pre-existing problems in a relationship. And, one of the biggest problems in a relationship is a lack of communication.

Communication can be a trigger.

Perhaps one of the most common reasons someone is faithless in a relationship can be traced back to a lack of open communication between partners. Being open about both the good and the bad things in a relationship means both partners feel safe expressing their emotions and sexual desires. This, in turn, can help foster a strong connection, which can help you through any unforeseen rough patches, and let's be honest, every couple has them. And, don't forget, communication takes two people.

"Communication is often the common and surprising theme behind infidelity; the person cheating is, in a very unconscious way, letting the world know about  their unhappiness or dissatisfaction," McRitchie said. "It is a way to express themselves in a way that feels perversely safer than using words."

McRitchie continued, saying "communication is not just the art of speaking – it is also the art of listening without prejudice or defense" and not knowing how to communicate within a relationship can lead to dissatisfaction.

She compared this to how a "misunderstood toddler or teen will act out" and said cheating is a person's way of expressing discontent due to a lack of communication. "Some people will turn to drugs or alcohol, some work, some will stay out late, others will cheat – and the effect can be devastating."

People can cheat out of malice.

Anger is another common reason people often choose to be disloyal in a relationship. While they might be getting off sexually, McRitchie said infidelity can be used out of vengeance, not passion.

"In this case … anger is being suppressed and then released in the act of cheating – offering a feeling of satisfaction beyond the sexual; the feeling of power and control – and the knowledge that the other person is being punished without realizing is for some people a cruel and unusual way of punishing them – sometimes for perceived slights rather than real ones."

Loneliness can be destructive.

Feeling lonely, especially as a part of a couple, can feel isolating — and that isolation can make people do some out-of-character things like, you know, cheat on their partners, no matter how loving. Cheaters who do so out of loneliness often feel "revitalized."

"Communication between couples is often only at surface level...that do not delve too deep into a person's real psyche," McRitchie said. "Add a third person to this mix and suddenly the ìnvisible`person feel wanted, important. The person cheating is often trying to jolt themselves alive again in the form of cheating. Once again — at the heart of this is often a need to express unhappiness or dissatisfaction but instead of speaking to their partner they communicate their loneliness through infidelity and will believe that a connection with another person is what will 'cure' them – when in fact it can often lead to them feeling more confused and lonely."