- Micro-cheating is a term used to describe a small act that indicates a person has physical or emotional interests outside of their relationship.
- The acts can range from social media interaction to dressing up when you think you’re going to see a crush.
- Acts of micro-cheating can be dangerous to relationships when they are done in secret and can lead to more serious acts of infidelity.
Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about that cute person who sat next to you in your freshman algebra class and wondering what could have been if you didn’t get all sweaty and nervous every time they looked your way?
It’s perfectly normal to reminisce about a high school crush, but in a time when social media likely allows you instant access to that person, what started out as simple can quickly cross the line into the inappropriate and cause problems for your current relationship.
Most people can agree that kissing or any other form of sexual contact with another person is cheating. But if there is no physical contact, where is the line? The term "micro-cheating" was coined by Australian psychologist, Melanie Schilling, and is defined as any small act that suggests that a person has romantic interests outside of their relationship, according to HuffPost.
Acts of micro-cheating can range from liking or commenting on social media posts to talking to or texting with an ex.
Now that you know what micro-cheating is, you may be wondering, "Is it wrong?" Well, that can depend on what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.
It’s not uncommon or even inappropriate to be attracted to someone other than your partner, but if you find yourself keeping secrets and hiding behaviors from them, you may be guilty of micro-cheating.
Your behavior could be considered inappropriate if you’re keeping it a secret from your partner, according to Psychology Today. Your friendly text to a co-worker crush may seem innocent enough, but if you feel the need to keep your behavior from your partner, you should take a close look at the reasons why.
This behavior, as innocent as it may seem can be considered covert flirtation, as Schilling explained.
It's also worth noting your intentions behind a text or message — what did you mean by your message, really, and how did you hope they'd respond?
Your down-low deeds could also be dangerous if you share intimate thoughts and details with the person rather than with your partner, according to Psychology Today. You should also be cautious when communicating with crushes, because acts of micro-cheating that may seem small at the time can open the door to bigger, more serious actions over time. Exchanging texts with someone can lead to a face-to-face meeting and eventually an act that you may regret.
If you suspect your partner of micro-cheating, talk about it.
If you suspect your partner is engaging in micro-cheating, you should trust your gut, as Schilling suggests. Use the opportunity to talk to your partner about what you consider infidelity in your relationship and how their actions make you feel.
Though it can feel like tricky territory, ultimately, what constitutes as "cheating" is up to you and your partner and your boundaries. The more you talk about it, the easier it wil be to see what works for you.
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