- The fear of missing out on something is called "FOMO."
- The opposite feeling, where you feel joyful at the idea of not being involved, is called "JOMO."
- People experience JOMO in different ways and for different reasons.
- Sometimes, it's simply about finding joy in what you have, rather than what you don't.
If you're missing an amazing party for your aunt's birthday that you promised your mum you would attend, you'll probably get "FOMO"— or the fear of missing out.
It's impossible to attend every social event in the calendar, but sometimes it really stings when you have prior engagements and you know you're missing out on something great.
But some people feel the opposite. Rather than feeling FOMO, they take joy in missing out. They don't feel the need to attend everything, and instead find solace in either committing to their original plans, or staying at home alone.
In a blog post on Psychology Today, Kristen Fuller said "JOMO" is essentially the "emotionally intelligent antidote to FOMO" and it is "about being present and being content with where you are at in life." Some people are born with it, others learn to embrace it.
Here are the different ways JOMO can show itself:
1. Living in the moment
If you're constantly fretting about missing out on something, you're not likely to be enjoying yourself wherever you are. This isn't a healthy way to live your life, and Fuller wrote that you shouldn't compare yourself to other people's lives or experiences.
"JOMO allows us to be who we are in the present moment, which is the secret to finding happiness," she said. "When you free up that competitive and anxious space in your brain, you have so much more time, energy and emotion to conquer your true priorities."
If you take the time to embrace every experience, by finding the best in your situation, you may find FOMO doesn't have as much of a hold over you. This could be in specific scenarios, or it could be applied wider to your whole life.
"Instead of having FOMO over silly experiences on social media, we should be wary about having FOMO over missing moments with loved ones, watching sunsets, laughing at jokes, traveling, walking barefoot through the grass, hearing the sound of the ocean, and enjoying good food with family and friends," said Fuller.
2. Switching off
In an article for Inc, writer Justin Bariso discovered JOMO after he published his first book. He found it hard to switch off, worrying that his editor would contact him for re-writes, or he would miss an important email.
It wasn't until he was abroad with his family and his daughter asked him to play that he thought: "What am I doing?"
"Did I really want to go to Starbucks to sit in front of my computer, responding to emails from people I barely know, when instead I could be spending time with my family on a beautiful beach?" he wrote.
According to a recent survey on LinkedIn, 70% of employees say they can't disconnect from work when they go away. It's hard to completely switch off, but with stress and burnout steadily increasing over the past decade, many employees would likely benefit from turning their FOMO to JOMO once in a while.
3. Enjoying your own company
Some people are simply born with the ability to switch off, and not worry about what they could be missing out on. For them, being alone is important, and it doesn't matter if they're missing out on the party of the year.
Introverts, for example, learn to be happy in their own company because they are over-stimulated in social situations. When they've been around people for a long time, they need time to themselves to recharge — which is called an introvert hangover.
Others don't necessarily need the space on a biological level, but they don't feel the need to compare their lives to others. These are the people who aren't caught up in the politics of social media, and find joy in what they have, rather than focusing on what they don't.
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