- When you're considering ending a relationship, you can sometimes second-guess whether or not it's really time to end things.
- If you're feeling wishy-washy, you might wonder how to know if you're giving up too soon on a relationship or not.
- Although you can't necessarily know for sure, there might be some signs that you're ending things prematurely.
Ending a relationship is especially hard when you're not entirely confident that ending it is the right choice.
Unfortunately, it's hard to know for sure if you're ending something at the right time. If you're on the fence about ending your relationship, there are a few things you can consider that may help to provide some clarity.
"If the person makes you a priority in their life, you have fun together, communicate well, and there is good chemistry, this is generally a very good basis for a relationship,"Tracy K. Ross, LCSW, a couples therapist and relationship expert, told INSIDER.
"If all that is true, but it just doesn't ‘feel right' you need to understand what exactly that means so that you're not giving up too soon or just setting yourself up to repeat the same pattern with the next person."
A few arguments and current struggles don't necessarily mean that it's time to call it quits.
Gaining a little bit of perspective about how your relationship is really going can help you determine if it's time to end things or not.
"Every couple goes through rough patches in their relationship,"Emily Mendez, MS, EdS, a published mental health writer and expert, told INSIDER. "Many people have unrealistic expectations of relationships. Popular movies and TV shows often portray relationships as being easy. However, they take a lot of work. Some people do end up giving up on relationships too soon."
Visualizing your future without your partner can help you determine how you truly feel.
"Picture yourself in six months without your partner,"Paige Harley, a mediator and relationship coach, told INSIDER. "Notice how you feel … Does your body relax? Do you feel relief? If so, then this is significant."
If you're generally happy or relieved to be without your partner, even just when thinking about the future, it might be time to end things.
Asking yourself about how the relationship has made you feel can also provide insight.
"Ask yourself — have I essentially been happy in this relationship? If so and you've hit a bump and you haven't truly tried to address what is bothering you, you may be giving up too soon," Ross said.
Another thing to consider is whether or not something specific led to you feeling this way.
"Many relationships are tested by circumstantial events like a job loss or a move," Mendez said. "Getting through these events is part of any relationship. Overcoming obstacles can make a relationship stronger."
If you're avoiding addressing the situation that's causing you stress, you might not want to end things before having a conversation with your partner.
"If you have been conflict-avoidant and haven't tried to address what it is that is bothering you, you haven't asked for what you need or given the person a chance to hear you. You are drawing conclusions from limited experience and may be giving up too soon," Ross told INSIDER.
She said that these kinds of situations can be made better when you communicate your issues openly and honestly.
There are a lot of valid reasons to end a relationship, but Ross said it's important to make sure you stop and think through why you might be feeling a certain way about present relationship issues, and how your partner has responded to or failed to respond to these issues.
It's also important to consider if your current issue is truly a deal breaker or something from which you can move forward.
"Many couples I see want to give up because they feel their needs aren't being met, but they haven't truly let their partner know what those needs are or it comes out as an accusation, blaming [their partner] for what is wrong – this is not the way to get your needs met," Ross said.
Talking to friends and family might help.
If you're truly struggling to determine whether or not it may be time for you to break up with your partner, talking to trusted friends or family members might help you determine if you're making the best choice.
"If you don't already know, ask two close friends or family members what they think," Harley said. "These should be people who truly want the best for you and won't just tell you what they think you want to hear."
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