Most of us like to believe that we know everything there is to know about our partners. Part of feeling connected to someone is believing you understand them completely.
However, it can be easy to overlook the blind spots we have in our knowledge of other people.
Here are a few signs that you don’t actually know your partner as well as you think you do.
You've never met their friends.
Our friends are usually some of our favorite people. We choose them based on common interests, compatible personalities, and how much fun we have in their company.
When your partner doesn’t introduce you to the important people in their life, it’s hard to know what they’re like outside of your relationship.
"If your partner doesn't introduce you to friends or family — and it's been six to 12 months or more of dating,they’re manipulating your perception of them,” relationship expert April Masini told INSIDER.
It’s important to know what kind of person your partner is outside of the bubble of your couplehood. Beyond just hearing those embarrassing stories from their high school years, meeting your partner’s friends can reveal a lot about their tendencies and sense of humor.
They have a lot of hobbies and interests that don't include you.
It’s healthy for two people in a relationship to maintain their own individual hobbies and pastimes after coupling up. After all, some of your partner’s unique interests and passions probably attracted you to them in the first place.
But when your partner seems to have a second social or creative life that is entirely separate from the one you share together, that could mean you’re not as connected as you think you are.
Research has shown thatcouples who spend more time together are happier. If your partner’s free time is filled with activities that you never seem to include you, it’s worth talking to them about how you can find more common ground.
They don't talk about their upbringing.
If your partner doesn’t ever talk about their childhood, it could be a sign that there are things about their upbringing that they’d rather you not know.
“Being hesitant or unwilling to discuss one’s childhood almost always suggests that it was eitherchaotic or suffused with feelings of inadequacy and shame,” clinical psychologist Leon F. Seltzer wrote in Psychology Today.
Allowing your partner to talk about their experience growing up when they’re ready could bring the two of you closer. Until then, don’t make assumptions about their childhood until you know all the facts.
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