14 steps to leaving an abusive relationship with a narcissist

Leaving a narcissistic relationship is likely to be one of the hardest things you'll ever do. Narcissists depend on their supply — the people they emotionally, financially, and psychologically drain. They need someone to abuse and manipulate to fulfill their needs and to constantly prove to themselves they are better, stronger, and smarter than everyone else. 

Through the love bombing, the gaslighting, and the constant battles, you'll already be exhausted, so leaving an abusive relationship with a narcissist is tough. But it is possible as long as you trust your gut and have firm boundaries, and keep reminding yourself why you need to walk away. 

Here's what you need to know to make sure you can get out of the potentially dangerous situation, and what to do to finally leave the abusive narcissist behind forever.

Don't give them "one more chance."

It takes the average person seven times to leave an abusive relationship, said doctor of psychology and therapist Perpetua Neo, who runs Detox Your Heart.

"If you leave them, they might try and seduce you back so they can dump you," she told INSIDER. "Because everything needs to be on their terms, and if they are physically violent, there is no telling if they will be even more violent with you."

If the narcissist isn't ready for you to leave yet, they will probably turn on the waterworks and plead with you, telling you how sorry they are. But Neo said you shouldn't risk giving them another chance to hurt you again.

"You never know when in those seven times your nine lives will be gone," she said.

Make a copy of all your documents.

This is especially important if you are from a different country, as the abuser might hide your documents so you can't escape.

"Narcissists are very known to take your stuff away," said Neo. "So if they have your passport, track it down."

At the very least, try to locate it, take some photos, and send them to your email. Get ahold of anything you can, including proof of address, bank details, and anything else official. Either wait until they are out, or trick them by saying you need your documents to fill out an application, Neo said.

Make sure you have spare cash.

If you're thinking about leaving, make sure you set up your own bank account. This might need to be done a little bit in advance, so you definitely have your own money. If they are a financial abuser, you will have to do this in secret so they don't cut you off entirely.