- The period right after a breakup can be incredibly painful for both parties.
- Making the mistake of frequently texting your ex or trying to show up where they are will only make things harder.
- If possible, avoid talking bad about your ex or jumping into the dating pool before you're ready as these are considered post-breakup mistakes by experts.
Breakups rarely bring out the best in anyone. When your heart is in tatters, it can be tempting behave in ways that might make you feel better temporarily but can actually make you feel worse in the long-run.
To help make your breakup as painless as possible, INSIDER consulted with relationship experts and therapists to pinpoint what people should definitely avoid doing after a breakup. Here's what you should know.
Contacting your ex right after the breakup usually isn't a good idea.
"I always suggest that, if possible, you should have a full 30 days of no contact with your ex post-breakup. By eliminating contact, it helps to put the breakup into perspective. Contact during a breakup usually leads to all sorts of difficult emotional feelings, which typically sets you back in the healing process," Jane Reardon, licensed therapist and founder of dating appRxBreakup, told INSIDER.
If you need to stay in touch with your ex, don't communicate more than necessary.
It's not always possible to completely break off all contact with your ex, especially if children are involved or you work together. But even in these cases, you should try to limit your communication to the bare minimum.
"Confining communication to the essentials minimizes the opportunities for arguments, can help take the heat out of any conflict and can limit the possibility of saying or writing things you may later regret," Henschke counseled.
Silence can be golden in the early stages of a breakup. If you need to get in touch, keep your communication brief and factual.
Don't try to "accidentally" bump into your ex.
"Leave your ex alone in the real world. Don't drive past their house, linger after church in the hopes of "accidentally" running into them, show up at parties where more of the friends are theirs instead of yours, frequent their favorite restaurants, etc. It didn't work when you were purposely together. It's not going to work when you accidentally encounter each other,"Trish McDermott, relationship coach and co-launcher of dating siteMatch.com told INSIDER.
If you really do accidentally encounter each other, McDermott advised treating each other with the amount of respect you might give to a seatmate on a bus. Say hello, be polite, but don't try to engage in any emotionally loaded conversation.
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