- Sometimes your partner may be giving you less affection than you'd like.
- In these cases, your partner may just require and prefer to give different levels of affection than you.
- In some cases, your partner could be trying to deal with effects that come with anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder.
It can be difficult when the levels of affection you receive from your partner change and although you might wonder if there's a deeper issue in your relationship, sometimes a dip in levels of affection could be caused by something unrelated to you and your relationship.
In some cases, the issues that you're facing in your relationship could simply be caused because of something that your partner is dealing with and you're not aware of it. Or, you could be well aware of the issue, but not aware of the impact that it's causing.
Here are some reasons your partner could be showing less affection than usual.
Your partner could be dealing with anxiety.
Anxiety can cause many social issues for those dealing with it, but one thing that is not talked about as much is the impact that it could cause on personal relationships. Dr. Eric Goodman,clinical psychologist, speaker, and author of "Social Courage: Coping and thriving with the reality of social anxiety," told INSIDER that anxiety absolutely has the ability to decrease the level of affection your partner shows you and it has nothing to do with anything you're doing.
"The very nature of anxiety is to make people hyper-focus on either an internal threat or external threat," he said. "When anxiety is acting up, it becomes a challenge to focus on anything other than the perceived threat even when the situation you are in is something you'd normally enjoy. Affection just may not be on their radar. And, it is hard to desire affection when danger feels like it is closing in on you.
He added that if you're in a relationship with someone with an anxiety disorder, there could be the added phobic component that can interfere with affection. "For example, someone with social anxiety disorder might feel highly self-conscious about showing affection, especially in public. They might worry about being judged for not 'performing' affection right, like 'What if I kiss too awkwardly, what would they think of me then?'"
They could also be dealing with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Much like the above, Dr. Goodman revealed that if your partner is suffering from OCD, it could cause the way they express affection to shift or change.
"Someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder might feel held back from expressing affection because of concern they will either obtain or transmit some type of contaminant — either becoming seriously ill or making their partner seriously ill," he told INSIDER. "Others with OCD might have obsessive thoughts that they might harm their partner and therefore they behave in a standoffish way in order to protect them."
He added that some might be suffering from "relationship OCD" in which an individual's overwhelmed with intrusive thoughts about whether their partner is right for them, which could trigger substantial worry and thus less affection.
Read More: 5 myths about OCD that you need to stop believing
You and your partner might have different need levels when it comes to affection.
Regardless of how much you and your partner have in common, there are still a few things that can set the two of you apart. And clinical psychologist Dr. Carla Marie Manly told INSIDER that how much you need or desire affection could be one of those things.
"In general, every person has a certain 'need level' with displays of affection," she said. "When both partners have the same level of need (e.g., low, medium, high), there is often little issue on this point. However, when the needs are not well-matched, discord will result. One partner might feel very slighted by the other partner's attitude and level of need, yet it may have very little (if anything) to do with the partner."
She told INSIDER that sometimes it could have something to do with how the individual grew up. "For example, one partner may have grown up in a family that was unaffectionate; this person may have learned to eschew affection," she added.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider