9 signs you're sabotaging your marriage without realizing it

• Every couple deals with highs and lows in their relationship, but if you make certain actions into habits, it could hurt your marriage in the long run.
• Even subtle mistakes like hiding texts or picking fights can lead to problems.
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All relationships go through highs and lows. But if you notice yourself becoming a repeat offender of certain negative actions, it could mean you're sabotaging your bond with your partner — and that could hurt your marriage in the long term.

In addition to more obvious breaches of trust like cheating, subtle yet harmful habits like hiding emails and texts or telling white lies could diminish intimacy, which is a key to successful marriages.

Here are all of the ways you could be sabotaging your marriage.

You pick fights with your partner.

Arguing with your partner is a normal part of being in a relationship. But fighting about every single indiscretion could lead to unsolvable tension.

Similarly, bringing up a single point of contention over and over again without coming to a compromise (or simply agreeing to disagree) could put your relationship under constant stress.

If you catch yourself picking apart your partner's actions or lack thereof, clinical psychologist Linda Firestone recommends looking at the actions from their perspective.

"We can be open to the idea that we might not be seeing our partner accurately and approach them with curiosity and fresh interest," she wrote in Psychology Today.

You sweep any negative feelings under the rug.

On the opposite end of the spectrum of people who constantly pick fights are those who are conflict-averse and would prefer to hide their feelings in an attempt to avoid tough conversations. If this sounds like you, it could mean you need to work on your communication skills in order to stay on the same page with your partner.

"Communication is vital for a relationship to succeed," Jonathan Bennett, a counselor and author of the site The Popular Man, previously told INSIDER. "However, if you never make an effort to communicate with your partner, or, worse, actively shut down communication, you're a big part of the problem. This means that the issues plaguing your relationship will never be resolved in a healthy way."

Tackle your problems head on. It may be uncomfortable at first, but will serve your marriage in the long run.

You don't talk about what you want in the bedroom.

Similar to hiding your emotions from your partner, hiding your physical wants and needs could be detrimental to your marriage. Chances are, if you aren't feeling satisfied in the bedroom, you'll have less sex overall.

But sexual intimacy is a key component of a healthy relationship, and advocating for what you like will make sex more enjoyable and potentially more frequent.

"Your partner may feel more like you do about sex than you think; but you'll never know that unless you're willing to express your own feelings and listen to them," Tina B. Tessina, PhD, psychotherapist, and author of "How to Be Happy Partners: Working It Out Together," previously told INSIDER.