- Six elite matchmakers who work with millionaires gave Business Insider an inside look at the jet-set dating world of the rich for its month-long series, "Dating Like a Millionaire."
- They all said millionaires really do splurge on lavish fairy tale dates.
- But they also said money breeds entitlement, which can cause a host of problems — like having to determine a date's motives, flaunting their wealth too much on dates, and expecting the perfect partner.
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Finding "the one" can be tough, but it becomes a whole different game for millionaires.
I spoke with six elite matchmakers who try to help millionaires meet the love of their lives. The matchmakers work with clients locally and globally, from royals and celebrities to entrepreneurs and CEOs, who have net worths ranging from the low millions into the billions.
In Business Insider's month-long series, "Dating Like a Millionaire," I dove into the jet-set dating world of the rich and the elite — and some common themes emerged. There were several specific aspects about millionaire dating that every matchmaker mentioned.
Here's what it's really like to date as a millionaire.
They really do whisk their dates away on private jets
Millionaires really do splurge on lavish dates — the era of the private jet is very much alive in the world of millionaire dating. Nearly all matchmakers mentioned their clients had taken dates on a private jet trip across the world.
Most commonly mentioned? Lavish private jet trips to Paris for dinner and a stay in the Ritz. But Paris isn't the only place millionaires jet to for pricey date nights.
Mairead Molloy of Berkeley International, who's based in London, told Business Insider she had one client who asked if they could hire a private charter plane complete with live musicians on board for a full evening of dinner and dancing in Miami — all in a 24-hour whirlwind of a date that Molloy estimated to exceed £650,000 ($817,410).
Patti Stanger of Los Angeles-based Millionaire's Club calls these "Princess Diaries dates"— when millionaires transform the romance of Hollywood movies and fairy tale dreams from fantasy into reality. These can also include trips to the Kentucky Derby or a yacht cruise to Dubai.
Money comes with a lot of problems
But while money can buy impressive dates like trips to Paris, it can also buy a host of problems. All of the matchmakers agreed there are potential repercussions to dating when you're part of the super-rich elite.
Resentment can set in if one person pays all the time, and millionaires have to determine whether people are dating them for the wrong reasons — money may influence someone's perceived romantic interest in high-net-worth individuals. Several of the matchmakers said they can spot a gold digger from a mile away.
Millionaires are a successful and ambitious group of people — but money can also breed a sense of entitlement, which can make them super picky. Acting entitled or picky is one of the biggest mistakes millionaires make when dating, according to the matchmakers.
"Often times, people who have a lot of money are used to always getting their way and calling the shots," April Davis of Luma Search in New York City said. "When you're dating someone who also has money or doesn't really care what your job or status is, then that is different than how you may be used to being treated at the office or in other circumstances."
Too many millionaires show up to their dates in a Ferrari
Money also drives another common mistake millionaires make — picking up their date in a fancy car, which many matchmakers cited as a prime example of millionaires leading with their money— a big issue, they all said.
Amy Andersen of San Francisco-based Linx Dating calls this "peacocking," or overdoing it early in the relationship. "Showing up in a Ferrari, for example, or talking way too much about career success and history at the very beginning, not only might come off [as] arrogant but also does not highlight some of their more important personal qualities," she said.
Other turn-offs, according to matchmakers, include talking about their net worth, how many shares they have vested in their company, or anything involving material possessions like planes or their lavish homes. The matchmakers always advise their clients to avoid talk of assets, which can come off as bragging.
They want the whole package
If there was one theme the matchmakers reiterated, it was that millionaire men want it all.
"Men want someone who enriches their life and makes it even more fantastic," Carly Spindel of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking Inc. in New York City said.
According to the matchmakers, millionaire men want someone who is attractive — beautiful with a fit body— and intelligent; they want someone who can challenge them or teach them something. They also want a partner with a full life — someone who is independent, passionate, and happy with their own career, relationships, and social awareness.
Like men, millionaire women also want the whole package, said the matchmakers. But while they seek an attractive and intelligent partner, at the end of the day, comfort and security take priority.
"With money, your brain thinks differently," Janis Spindel, also of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking Inc. said. "[Millionaires] call the shots, they want the whole package."
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