- 47-year-old Gweneth Lee is a serial mistress of affluent, self-made, married men.
- It's not about the money, as Lee says she's a successful consultant. Rather, she says it's that rich, married men appreciate her more.
- "They don't take it for granted," she told Insider. "And that's what I like, because when a man appreciates me for being a woman, I appreciate him for being a man, and a wise man knows that."
- Lee says she's currently dating several men who are mostly in their 40s and 50s. One is now in his 70s. She has had affairs with over 100 married men in total.
- "Married men are the best lovers because they're not having sex at all," she said. "And when they do have it, they give you 100%."
- Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.
At 19 years old, Gweneth Lee decided she was only going to date incredibly wealthy men when she received a piece of advice from her boss while she was crying at her desk about her most recent boyfriend.
"You are far too pretty, far too interesting to be wasted on men who aren't worth your time," he said. "It's just as easy to date a rich man as it is date a poor man. And with all that you bring to the table, why waste your time on someone who can't appreciate you?"
She looked at him and realized it made perfect sense.
"Then a couple weeks later somebody picked me up in a beautiful car, took me to a beautiful restaurant, and kissed my hand at the end of the evening," Lee told Insider. "He treated me with complete respect, and I went, 'My God, he's right, the richer men do treat you better.'"
Now, at age 47, Lee is a serial mistress exclusively of affluent, self-made men. She says she has had affairs with over 100 in total.
But it's not about the money. Lee, who is a consultant based in London, Amsterdam, and New York, says she can pay for herself to fly business class and stay at the Four Seasons, but she's been burned too many times dating men who aren't as successful as her.
"I don't want to go four notches down just to get laid," she said. "I want to make a lateral move or higher."
'Single men are empty, there's nothing inside them'
Dating men without money can be like dating a nagging housewife, she says, because they don't understand she occasionally needs three hours to herself to catch up on work. One boyfriend, for example, was so insecure about her paying for everything and not giving him constant attention he would shame her expenses — including when she used the $14 hotel WiFi.
"He complained the entire time and I said, 'Well, that's never happening twice,'" Lee said. "I don't care how great your abs are."
Self-made men like her multi-millionaire tech investor, on the other hand, will notice when she does her hair and puts on a beautiful dress.
"They don't take it for granted," she said. "And that's what I like, because when a man appreciates me for being a woman, I appreciate him for being a man, and a wise man knows that."
Lee believes it is "shameless" that men no longer turn up to a date with a bouquet of flowers. She puts it down to dating apps and the fact they enable men to engage in "power-dating 20 to 30 women a week."
While single men will be texting another woman in the middle of a date if it isn't going their way, a married man will be happy to be sitting with someone who is listening to him, she said.
"Single men are empty, there's nothing inside them," she said. "They're like a bucket that once had water in it, and the water's been poured out."
Married men are just happy for the company
According to Lee, married men provide much more interesting conversation and are thrilled by the mere fact a woman is listening to them intently.
"He's thinking, 'Oh, here I am sitting across from a woman who cannot hear enough about my latest trip to Davos,'" she said. "And I'm going, 'Really I want to hear more about your speech. What's your opinion on the economics of China?'"
Married men have been trained by their wives, she added, and won't worry if you pick the most expensive item on the menu.
"The wives aren't putting up with any shit," she said. "So they're going to have better manners, they're going to pull out your chairs, they're going open the door, they're gonna pick up the bill, there's none of the 50/50 stuff."
Lee is currently dating several men who are mostly in their 40s and 50s. One is now in his 70s. She follows certain ground rules, like stepping out of the room if her date wants to call his wife, or making sure he has a separate bank account for dates, gifts, and trips.
Because the one thing she knows about the wives of these men, whether they are aware of her or not, is that they don't want to be embarrassed.
Infidelity is not always black and white, Lee said, as she has met men who want to spend time with her because their wives have lost interest in sex for many different reasons, including discomfort, injury, or the menopause.
"Why do they have to be judged, because they still want to stay sexually active, and they want a kind, respectful person who can fill that void?" Lee said. "It's just a piece of the puzzle that's missing, and all they want to do is put that piece back in the puzzle and feel alive, because not feeling alive makes them a terrible spouse."
Lee joined the married dating site Illicit Encounters herself back when she was married because her husband was impotent due to terminal cancer.
"I was crawling the walls and he gave me permission to go on there," she said. "I was running marathons, I was bungee jumping, I was skydiving, doing crazy stuff, and he basically said, 'Listen, do what you gotta do, but please, for God sakes, stop making it obvious to the outside world that something's going on.'"
She soon met a man who was doing a similar thing — running long distances, building a front porch, constructing a shed — and they began meeting once a week.
"We developed a beautiful friendship, I did love him, I did care for him, but we both had someone at home," Lee said. "It gives you an emotional boundary. I believe both of us loved the people we were with, and I believe that when you have a great love at home, you're just trying to fill a void."
Lee has no intention of going back to traditional dating
Lee's late husband died 10 years ago, which was when she decided she didn't want to start dating again in the traditional fashion. She said she can't get whisked up in the romance because she has responsibilities — a mother who is battling cancer and has a business to run.
"But it's very nice to know that one day or one weekend a month I can take that adult hat off and go be a brazen s---," she said. "I can drink too much, I can have sex in the middle of the night, and it won't affect me in the morning or screw up a conference call ... Then I put my adult hat back on and go back to living."
If there's one thing she's learned, it's that married men really put in the effort.
"Married men are the best lovers because they're not having sex at all," she said. "And when they do have it, they give you 100%."
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