How to keep from fighting about money in your relationship

Ask almost any couple what they fight about and “money” is bound to be chief among the issues.

We all have our own ideas on how our financial future should play out, and when someone else’s ideas get in the mix, it’s easy for the relationship to temporarily derail.

Staying on track isn’t as hard as it seems, however, if you know how to pick your battles.

Here are nine ways to avoid fighting about money in your relationship.

SEE ALSO: 15 everyday expenses that eat away at your money

Recognize that money attitudes are predetermined.

Attitudes about money are likely adopted from our parents. Jon and Beverly Meyerson, authors of "Power Snuggles: Your Path to Vibrant and Lasting Love," agree. They say the sooner you recognize that much of the conflict regarding money concerns the different values formed in childhood, the better off you’ll be.

“In a calm time, have an open discussion about the messages you received from your parents regarding money,” the Meyersons suggest. “This will help each of you to understand how your partner is thinking and you will likely be more accepting of each other’s viewpoints.”

Be honest about your financial fears.

Money is frightening and if you don’t have a plan for spending and saving money, you and your partner will start to butt heads. But the Meyersons offer a solution.

“Discuss each other’s fears with respect to spending or saving money,” they say. “Your goal is to alleviate your partner’s fears, such as not having enough for retirement or for emergencies. Couples are more likely to compromise after this discussion.”

Keep separate accounts.

“Regardless of how much you each earn, make sure you both have a checking account to allow you the independence to make some purchases on your own and agree that no matter how you feel about small purchases you will accept the other’s desires,” the Meyersons advise.

My husband and I have a joint account for recreational funds, but we primarily keep separate checking and savings accounts. We’re not afraid to talk about how much money we have in those accounts — it’s not a secret we’re trying to keep from one another — but we both like to feel independent of each other financially even though if the going got tough, we’d have each other’s backs.