We all face conflict in our day to day lives, be it during our working day or at home. Sometimes a heated discussion is planned, but other times it can occur unexpectedly.
In these situations, it can be hard to keep your cool, meaning many of your sensible points might get lost in the process.
In 2010, Nadia Lopez opened Mott Hall Bridges Academy in Brownsville, Brooklyn. The area had a reputation as one of the most violent neighbourhoods in New York City, with the most shootings according to NYPD records. She knew it would be no easy task, but she used her coporate background and experience in education to face the challenges head on. One challenge in particular was knowing how to dial down conflict.
Lopez shared six ways to deal with heated situations in a blog on TED, which can be applied to many different situations, not just in the classroom.
Tip 1: Be transparent.
Being open and honest requires a certain vulnerability, but Lopez says it's a way to restore morale and inspire others.
When faced with a challenging situation like a conflict, being transparent about what your vision is can build trust between people, which then turns into mutual respect.
Lopez says people appreciate it when you speak frankly, and that includes admitting when you're struggling. This develops into connections where you understand and support each other, which, she says, is a lot more important than pretending to be a flawless leader.
Tip 2: Be aware of what's going on around you.
Lopez says it's important to stop and ask yourself why something is or isn't working. The best way to do this is to check in with people face-to-face. Sometimes she gathers teachers into focus groups to ask them what's going on, and what can be done to help boost morale. This way, people feel respected and feel that their opinion matters.
She also asks the kids the same; what they enjoy doing and how certain activities make them feel. This way, Lopez herself is accountable for what happens next, and ensuring everyone is comfortable with it.
Tip 3: Centre yourself as the mediator.
If you're dealing with challenges from all sides, like principals do, things can quickly escalate. To combat this, Lopez makes sure she keeps a level head by centring herself as the calm and rational mediator.
In fact, being calm is so important to her that she tries to spend at least 15 minutes in complete silence.
People can have knee-jerk reactions to situations, and this can make conversations get heated quickly, so Lopez says she often runs situations past friends or family members before responding. This gives a new perspective on things, and often those close to you will be honest about how you could be doing something better.
Writing things down is also a good idea, Lopez says, because it can help clear you head and weigh up whether something really is worth a fight or not.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider