- It’s never easy to move on from an old relationship, but having your ex’s photos on Instagram can make it a lot more difficult
- It’s okay to want to save the photos, but you should think twice about keeping them on display
- Ultimately, whether or not to delete your ex’s photos is up to you and your next partner
Breakups are never fun, but more than ever, the end of a relationship brings a lot of little questions that you might not be sure how to answer, especially where social media is concerned. When is the right time to change your relationship status on Facebook? Should you delete or block your ex? Should you delete your ex’s photos from Instagram?
A lot of these questions can only be answered by you according to what you’re most comfortable with, but when it comes to getting rid of the online evidence of your last partner, there are a few guidelines about what "good etiquette" is.
Trying to decide whether or not you should keep those photos on your feed? This guide might help you make the right choice.
First things first: the profile picture.
The actual photos on your grid staying or going can be up for debate, but your profile picture is not. Keeping your ex in your profile picture is a surefire sign you’re not over them, and that’s probably not what you want to project — even if you really aren’t over them yet.
Instead, change it to your favorite picture of yourself, solo. It’s not going to do you any good to look at their face every time you open the app, and now that you’re single, it’s all about you.
It will probably do more harm than good to keep the photos around.
You know that expression, "out of sight, out of mind?" People say that so much because it’s true. If you’re constantly looking at your ex on your page, the temptation to stalk their Instagram account to see what they’re doing will be real, and looking back on those happy memories will make getting over them that much harder.
And not only will deleting those photos help you move on, but it will also help you when you decide it’s time to move on to someone new. If people see your ex is still a presence on your Instagram, they may not realize you’re single — and someone who’s interested might even see it as a sign that you’re not ready to date just yet.
"Having images of your ex on social media and in your house signals that you’re not serious about getting involved with someone else, because your heart is still with your ex,"dating and etiquette expert April Masini told Elite Daily.
Basically, nothing good is going to likely going to come from keeping those photos, so you might as well clear them all out.
But you can definitely save them if you want to keep the memories.
Deleting the photos from Instagram doesn’t mean they have to be gone forever. If you want, you can save the photos before you get rid of them, and then save them somewhere deep in your hard drive. That way, if you want to look back at the relationship someday (preferably a long, long time from now) the photos will be there. And keeping one or two around on your profile isn’t going to hurt anything, as long as you’re selective about it and honest with yourself about why you're keeping them.
"Clear away most of the photos, but don't feel that you have to totally delete what was a substantial piece of your world," Oprah.com advice columnist Lisa Kogan said. "Grant yourself permission to hang on to a couple of pictures that show you have a past and, at least for a while there, this man was part of it. Let everybody think whatever it is they're going to think—you just stay true to the story of your life."
Pro-tip, you can always archive those photos on Instagram so they're not totally gone forever.
In a new relationship? Those photos might have to go.
Obviously, your new partner might have their own feelings on the subject, but chances are pretty high that they’re not going to love the fact that there’s a picture of you and your ex kissing at the park on your Instagram. If you’re in a new relationship and that person would clearly rather you not leave those photos up, it’s probably time to delete them.
"I know some partners struggle with trust issues and fear,"relationship specialist Louis Venter told W24. ‘If a partner does request that images should be removed, I believe it could do no harm in deleting it for the sake of their sanity and sense of belonging. If I love someone, I would make their journey with me as smooth as possible, even if it means deleting images of my ex-partner. After all, it's an ex and shouldn't be a problem."
You owe your ex nothing, and your present relationship is far more important than any you had in the past. You want your new partner to feel as comfortable as you do in your relationship, right?
Whatever you do, you don’t have to feel guilty.
Your ex will understand why those photos are deleted — chances are, they’re considering doing the same themselves if they haven’t already.
It’s OK to leave your past behind in order to make room for your future, especially when that means doing what’s best for you. Soon, there will be tons of new memories from the next chapter of your life to fill the space, and those photos will be long forgotten.
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