- It's hard to define an emotional affair.
- Licensed marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers wrote the book "Chatting or Cheating," in which she lists some signs that you're partner might be having an emotional affair.
- Those signs include wanting more time and space to themselves and getting defensive.
An "emotional affair" is hard to define — it can be tricky to know if you're having one, and perhaps even trickier to figure out if your partner is.
That said, there are a few red flags to look out for if you suspect that your partner has romantic feelings for someone else, even if they haven't acted on them physically. In her 2012 book, "Chatting or Cheating," licensed marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers outlines some key indicators that your partner might be involved in an emotional affair.
Below, Business Insider has rounded up nine of those warning signs. Remember: Just because you recognize some of these behaviors in your partner doesn't necessarily mean they've been unfaithful.
But if you're really starting to get worried, it's a good idea to articulate your concerns to your partner and give them a chance to explain themselves.
SEE ALSO: The most insidious type of cheating isn't physical — here are 8 signs it could be happening to you
Your partner is spending more time on the computer and/or phone
A sudden strong attachment to digital devices could be a red flag.
Meyers writes: "Your partner may 'stiffen' when you enter the room, or put the phone away suddenly. They may have increased activity or text messaging but are more difficult to get ahold of when out of the house."
Your partner wants more space and time to themselves
If your partner really is having an emotional affair, they may try to distance themselves from you.
"They want to do their own thing more often and become indifferent to doing things together and offer excuses about not planning or committing to future trips, vacations, and family visits," Meyers writes.
When you argue, your partner's fallback position is about your relationship ending
During conflicts, your partner may say something like, "What would you do if our relationship ended?" or perhaps something even more alarming like, "If anything ever happened to us, I would always love you like a friend."
"In general," Meyers writes, "they seem overtly negative about your relationship," as opposed to interested in trying to repair it.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider