- A narcissist can sometimes be difficult to identify, especially if you're romantically involved with one.
- Someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) may be selfish, put you down often, and fail to express empathy.
- If you're unsure whether or not you're dating a narcissist, there are specific signs you can look out for, according to experts.
- Here, Dr. Candace V. Love, a clinical psychologist who authored a book about how to stop getting into relationships with narcissists, reveals the key signs you may be dating a narcissist.
It can be easy miss the signs that you're dating a narcissist.
Like in many relationships, when you first start dating a narcissist, you may be lured in by their charm, confidence, and other attractive traits.
However, as you get to know your partner, you may pick up on red flags that were not so easily identifiable at first, like "nice" comments that have not-so-nice undertones, or a lack of empathy after you share something deeply personal.
You may justify a narcissist's behavior by telling yourself that they just had a bad day, and that tomorrow they'll be better. However, the behavior doesn't get better, and you may start to feel worse about yourself in the relationship.
"The main point to keep in mind is that you can't always tell you're dating a narcissist — because they're experts at concealing their true colors until they have you," clinicalpsychologistCandace V. Love told Business Insider. "However, all the clients I have worked with have been able to look back and see all the red flags they missed — they are always there."
According to the Mayo Clinic, those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, belittle those around them, take advantage of others to get what they want, have difficulty regulating emotions and mood, and become irrationally angry when they don’t receive special treatment.
Of course, it's not possible to determine for sure whether someone has NPD without an evaluation by a qualified expert, but here are some often subtle signs that you may be dating a narcissist, according to a clinical psychologist.
SEE ALSO: How to know if you or someone you know is a narcissist, according to a clinical psychologist
1. They're charming … for a while, anyway
No one falls for a narcissist because of the negative qualities that make them a narcissist.
"Many narcissists are charmers in the beginning, and it's too easy to succumb to their charms," Love said.
"In time, the narcissist will show their true colors, but by then, you are usually already in love and will tend to overlook, make excuses, or minimize their bad behaviors," she said.
2. They're quick to anger
Althoughnarcissists or people with NPD can woo you and be charming, they can also turn on a dime, Love said.
"Pay attention to if the person is quick to anger if something doesn't go their way, such as traffic, parking, or reservations," she said. "Plus, look at how they treat others, too. How do they act toward service people — waitstaff, parking attendants, etc.?"
3. They make talk more about themselves than you
Being a good listener is important in relationships. If your partner makes everything about them, be cautious.
"Does the person seem genuinely interested in you when you talk about your life — or are they quick to tell you about theirs?" Love said.
"See if they ask you follow-up questions or monopolize the conversation," she said.
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