Sometimes actors fall in love on movie sets. Other times, they're playing couples inspired by actual events.

Some of the best romantic comedies, tearjerkers, and Oscar-nominated pictures are based on true stories. Keep reading to see the real couples that have had their stories shared and adapted for the big screen.

Frank Pallotta contributed to a previous version of this story.

Margot Robbie and Leonardo DiCaprio played Naomi and Jordan Belfort in "The Wolf of Wall Street."

The two meet at a pool party in the Oscar-nominated movie about the stockbroker whose firm was involved with fraud on Wall Street.

In real life, Jordan Belfort met Nadine at a pool party before she became his second wife.

"The Wolf of Wall Street" did get a lot of the facts right surrounding Belfort's second marriage to Nadine Caridi, the "Naomi" character in the film.

The real Nadine was a model who starred in beer commercials, had an English aunt who smuggled money into Switzerland for Belfort, and was introduced to Belfort at a pool party.

The couple have two children together. They were divorced in 2005.

In "American Hustle," Irving Rosenfeld (Christian Bale) has to juggle conning politicians and his wife, Rosalyn (Jennifer Lawrence).

In the film, Bale and Amy Adams play con artists who get rangled into an FBI sting operation against corrupt politicians. Jennifer Lawrence plays Bale's unhinged wife.

• Louise Linton is an actress and a model who is married to US Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin.
• Linton told Elle magazine that she and Mnuchin are complete opposites and that they balance each other out.
• Relationship experts say partners with different personalities may wind up clashing, and that it's important to embrace your partner's unique strengths.

Elle magazine has published a profile of Louise Linton, the actress and model married to US Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin.

Describing her relationship with her husband, Linton told Elle, "We're so, so different."

She explained: "He's ice and I'm fire. I like to try everything, taste everything. I love to explore, and he is much more habitual. He likes what he likes. We balance each other out nicely."

This quotation gave me pause, if only because I'd recently spoken with a couples therapist about the potential problems with this very dynamic. The couples therapist, Rachel Sussman, even called out the phrase Linton used: "We balance each other out."

Initially, Sussman said, the couple might feel this way — but over time, "people get more set in their ways" and there's less opportunity for compromise or mutual understanding.

Sussman's point wasn't that couples who have different personalities or habits should never get together. Instead, she was suggesting that couples not brush those differences under the proverbial rug at the start of their relationship. (Linton and Mnuchin met in 2013 and wed in 2017.)

In fact, it may be wise for any couple with opposite approaches to life to embrace and learn more about their differences.

In their book "Happy Together," husband and wife co-authors Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and James Pawelski recommend taking the VIA survey— an assessment that pinpoints your top strengths — along with your partner. It can help you see your partner's otherwise irritating behaviors — say, wanting to stay home every night or wanting to go out every night — as positive traits.

Maybe the homebody partner is practical and reliable, while the more outgoing partner is brave and fun-loving.

Ultimately, it's hard to say with certainty whether marrying the ice to your fire is a good idea in general, and we can't speculate about Linton and Mnuchin's relationship beyond what she's said. But it's always a good idea to learn from those in similar relationships and to be aware of the potential pitfalls — even if you never encounter them.

Read the full article at Elle »

SEE ALSO: A relationship therapist says too many couples make a mistake early on that can lead to major conflict down the road

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NOW WATCH: A relationship psychologist reveals what you should ask yourself before getting married

• Romantic relationships tend to involve a lot of guesswork and spontaneity.
• To be more intentional about goals and plans, a New York Times writer and her partner sign a "relationship contract" every year.
• Psychologists and relationship experts say the method might not work for everyone, however, and could have some unintended consequences.

For all the emphasis we place on romantic relationships, they seem to involve a lot of guesswork.

Look at the language we use to describe love: Instead of choosing to love someone, you fall for them. When you're attracted to someone, you say you're into them. Spontaneity is key too — dates and marriage proposals aren't things partners are expected to sit down together and plan.

But relying on intuition and surprises — although romantic — can also be ripe terrain for miscommunication. In a New York Times "Modern Love" column, author Mandy Len Catron said she and her partner had found a better way.

It involves something she called a "relationship contract."

For the last two years, Len Catron and her boyfriend have signed and dated a four-page, single-spaced document that addresses everything from how long house guests can stay over to who's responsible for paying a certain bill.

"Our contract addresses much of what must be negotiated in any relationship," Len Catron wrote.

While it might not sound as fun and whimsical as most conventional approaches to relationships, some experts say the method could have positive results for some couples. Others, however, say it could spell disaster. Read on to find out if a relationship contract could work for you.

A contract might help ensure that both partners are being heard

Some experts say the idea of a relationship contract could help ensure clear communication and prevent one partner from feeling like his or her needs aren't being met.

Bat Sheva Marcus, the clinical director of The Medical Center For Female Sexuality, told Business Insider that this could prove especially helpful when it comes to something like sex. Most happy couples, Marcus explained, have what she calls a "sex schedule"— perhaps without realizing it.

"Like anything nice in your life, if you want something nice to happen, you've got to schedule it," she said.

If a relationship contract takes time to outline these parameters, it could be a big help.

The same idea goes for big life decisions. If it helps set a foundation for couples to be more collaborative in their approach to big life decisions, a relationship contract could be healthy, studies suggest. A report from the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia that looked at more than a thousand adults found that couples who took time to talk through big decisions together (as opposed to sliding through them somewhat haphazardly) were happier individually and as a couple later on.

"Deciding rather than sliding revolves around commitment — not just to each other, but to the decision itself," Galena K. Rhoades, a University of Denver psychology professor and licensed marriage counselor who co-authored the report, wrote in an article for The Atlantic.

This collaborative approach to commitments is a role that Len Catron's contract seems to fulfill, especially when it comes to big decisions like moving in together. After carefully considering the pros and cons of cohabitating, Len Catron wrote that she and her boyfriend came across a book about marriage contracts.

"We liked the idea and realized we could take this approach to living together," Len Catron wrote. And it helped.

"I know it sounds idealistic, but I've had relationships that left me feeling lonely and small. This time I wanted to be more intentional about looking outward as much as we look in," wrote Len Catron.

But a strict setup could also apply too much pressure

For some couples, a relationship contract may not work. John Gottman, a psychology professor at the University of Washington and a marriage therapist who has been studying couples for decades, believes it could even threaten the health of a relationship.

"Based on the literature and research on relationships, the contracting idea is not a pathway to staying in love," Gottman told Business Insider. "Quite the contrary."

If each partner in a relationship sees his or her action of deserving of an equal "quid pro quo"-like response, that could spell disaster. It's something Gottman said he has seen many times — instead of simply behaving in ways that display feelings of love and kindness, partners begin to see each of their actions as deserving of an equal response.

The idea that couples must put in conscious and intentional effort to maintain their relationship and stay in love is something Gottman believes in strongly, but that kind of effort should come from a place of selflessness and generosity, rather than tagged with an expectation.

Instead of a contract, Gottman recommends ensuring your relationship has three characteristics that he calls "the magic trio." These traits are physiological calm, even during conflict (he likened the relationship to a port in a storm), trust, and commitment. Strengthening each of those prongs requires a lot of intent and work, but it pays off, Gottman said.

Ultimately, whether or not you choose to use something like a relationship contract, it all comes back to seeing love as a choice or action and taking responsibility for building and maintaining a relationship.

"Writing a relationship contract may sound calculating or unromantic, but every relationship is contractual; we're just making the terms more explicit," wrote Len Catron. "It reminds us that love isn't something that happens to us — it's something we're making together."

SEE ALSO: A psychologist who’s studied couples for decades says this is the best way to argue with your partner

DON'T MISS: These are the 36 questions one writer says can make you fall in love with a stranger

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NOW WATCH: How a 'sex schedule' could save your relationship

• American figure skaters Alexa Scimeca Knierim and Chris Knierim began competing together in 2012 and got married four years later.
• Despite Alexa's diagnosis with a rare gastrointestinal illness, they reclaimed their title as national champions in January and made the Pyeongchang 2018 Olympic team.
•  On Wednesday, the pair will celebrate Valentine's Day by competing as a team once again. 
• "It is going to be a special Valentine's Day," Chris Knierim told USA Today Sports. "One we might never have again."

Whatever your opinion on Valentine's Day — whether you enjoy it every year or think it's a capitalist trap— Alexa Scimeca Knierim and Chris Knierim's plans for the holiday are irresistibly endearing. The married couple will celebrate February 14 by competing together as a figure skating team at the Winter Olympics.

"It is going to be a special Valentine's Day," Chris said in a January interview with USA Today Sports. "One we might never have again."

The Knierims are the sole US pair at the games this year. They've already helped the US win a bronze medal on Sunday, and will take to the ice again for the pairs' free skate on Wednesday, February 14 — the most romantic day of the year.

"I think it shows while we are skating more than ever how much we love each other," Chris told USA Today. "Not all the teams have the connection. It's natural for us so it's nice we don't have to work on it."

The couple began competing together in 2012 and their chemistry quickly outgrew the ice, they said in an interview with NBC. They were married by their coach four years later in a skating-themed ceremony. Luckily, in their sport, mutual and exaggerated affection is a huge asset — so much so that some skaters keep their non-partner relationships a secret, so as not to distract from the pair's narrative. 

"It's our sole purpose to create a [love] story when we're on the ice," Alexa told NBC. "Chris and I are just fortunate that we're not acting when we're out there. It's true love for us."

Although this is the couple's first Olympic appearance, the Knierims began this year's Olympic season by winning the US International Classic in September and recaptured the US national title — their first as a married couple, second overall — in January.

"When I first officially teamed up with Chris, I gave Dalilah [Sappenfield, our coach] a list of things that I'd like to accomplish," Alexa said in a November video for U.S. Figure Skating. "I had about eight of them. And one of them that I did put in parenthesis was to marry Chris ... I only have two left on that list, and one of them is getting an Olympic spot."

Although the talented couple seems to be living a fairytale, their Olympic dream has not come without obstacles. In 2016, Alexa was diagnosed with a rare — and potentially fatal — gastrointestinal illness, according to USA Today. Her weight plummeted to 80 pounds and she underwent three surgeries.

"I can lift her, throw her, catch her. But there was nothing that I could do to help her, even though that's all I wanted to do," Chris tearfully told NBC. 

Although Alexa managed to regain her health, the pair missed eight months of crucial training, making their success at this year's Olympics all the more impressive — and their enduring relationship even sweeter. The Knierims even admitted to USA Today that they made sure to pack Valentine's gifts for each other before heading off to Pyeongchang .

"We will have a Valentine's Day that no other married couple on the ice will have," Alexa told USA Today. "It will be a most unique bond because there is no other pair competing at the games that is married, so it will be one in a million."

Want more? Read all of our coverage of the Winter Olympics here.

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NOW WATCH: No one wants to host the Olympics anymore — will they go away?

• Most married couples are guilty of certain behaviors that can get on each other's nerves.
• Gatekeeping is the latest annoyance, and it means micromanaging tasks you ask of your partner to do the point that he or she can't meet your standards.
• Instances of gatekeeping can demoralize your partner and cause your marriage to go downhill.

Negging. Phubbing. Keeping score. There are tons of tiny, annoying spousal actions that we’re all guilty of. The newest? Gatekeeping. Here’s the deal.

What is gatekeeping? It’s when you expect your partner to help with something around the house (or in any area of your married life) but micromanage said task so intensely that he or she can’t possibly do it to your standards.

Gimme some examples. You ask your husband to do the laundry … then get mad when he doesn’t use the dryer sheets you like. Your wife says she’ll address the Christmas cards this year … you then check in every day at 5 p.m. to see if she’s started. You beg your partner to cook dinner … and hover over his shoulder the entire time, art-directing the parsley placement.

Why is this bad for your marriage? When your spouse tries to step up and take on a greater share of domestic duties only to get reprimanded and corrected, it’s demoralizing for you both: He feels chided and wary to help in the future; you feel frustrated that you “have” to do the task yourself.

So what should you do? In the words of Elsa, “let it go.” Let him do the laundry without the extra fluff. Let him serve the potatoes with way too much parsley (and tell him it’s delicious). At least you have clean clothes and food on the table, right?

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• Disagreements are an important part of any relationship.
• If you want to keep your arguments productive and avoid causing undue harm, two leading psychologists say there are a couple of basic rules you should follow.
• Decades of research suggest that these guidelines can help build and strengthen a relationship instead of causing more friction.

Arguments don't have to be devastating.

On the contrary, disagreements are an important aspect of any relationship. But if you want a dispute to be productive and avoid causing undue harm, two leading psychologists say there are some simple rules you should follow.

Couples who approach disagreements this way tend to be happier overall and even stay together longer, their research suggests.

Don't wait too long to talk about a disagreement

Psychologists Robert Levenson and John Gottman learned a lot from spending 14 years studying nearly 100 married couples. Over the years they observed the pairs, roughly one in five got divorced — a common phenomenon that allowed the researches to draw some key observations about what went wrong.

The researchers found some notable commonalities among the couples who stayed together compared with those who split up. Many of these trends had to do with the way people argued.

Disagreements, Gottman told Business Insider, could either be used in a positive way, as a means of "stabilizing a rocking boat," or they could be used negatively, potentially leading the vessel to capsize.

The best way to guarantee that an argument will fit with the former scenario is to have it soon, Gottman said.

Waiting too long can lead to built up or oversized feelings of discontent, anger, and confusion. Not only do couples forget what the argument was initially about, they may have disproportionate responses to the initial situation that no longer track with what really happened. In that case, by the time a couple gets to talking about whatever the controversial subject was, there's no straightforward way to address the problem.

A study of 145 couples published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology found that couples who received trainings on how to address conflicts immediately and clearly felt more satisfied with their relationship a year down the road. Couples who didn't receive the training were also more likely to see their interactions deteriorate during the year they were reporting back to the researchers.

Instead of waiting for a disagreement to fester like an open wound, talk to your partner as son as you can. Gottman stressed that you should also recognize that both of you are partially responsible for the problem and both of you are responsible for making amends.

Approach the situation with an open mind

The couples who divorced over the study period had another commonality, Gottman and Levenson observed: They frequently had arguments that involved cutting each other off. Usually, the comments the individuals made to stop the conversation were unhelpful and insensitive, Gottman said.

"If you tell someone they're not being logical or say something like 'you're getting off track,' it just doesn't work. It makes people angry," he said.

On the other hand, couples who stayed together tended to approach an argument with a more open mind. Partners were usually willing to take responsibility for their actions and listen to what their partner had to say.

Couples who do this might use language like, "I can see that this is really important to you; tell me more," Gottman said.

A 2010 study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family looked at the argument patterns of nearly 400 married couples. The results suggested that when both partners engaged "positively" during an argument— meaning they discussed the topic calmly and made an effort to listen — they were far less likely to divorce than couples in which one or both partners didn't exhibit positive engagement. Those results held steady as long as 16 years down the road.

So next time you feel an argument escalating, you might want to put one of these tactics to use. It could restore some calm to your relationship, or even help keep your boat from capsizing.

SEE ALSO: How a 'relationship contract' could save your relationship — or spell disaster

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NOW WATCH: Here's how much sex happy couples have every month

• With Valentine's Day just around the corner, happy couples seem to be all around us.
• But whether you're in a relationship right now or not, have you ever wondered what has made you and your significant other so happy?
• eHarmony released a new study discussing the happiness of couples in America.
• INSIDER spoke with eHarmony's Chief of Advice to get the scoop on what the secrets are to a happy relationship.

Hearts, candy, and roses have overflowed the store aisles. Love is in the air and it seems like more than ever, smiling couples are all around us these days. Very appropriately and just in time for Valentine's Day, a national report discussing the happiness of couples in America was released.

The study titled "The Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America" was commissioned by eHarmony. More than 2,000 interviews were conducted by Harris Interactive with participants who were either married or in a long-term relationship andover the age of 18. The results were weighted appropriately to be nationally representative by age and gender.

What they found was that 64% of Americans are "very happy" in their romantic relationship with their partner or spouse and only 19% are unhappy to some degree.

To find out just what exactly makes a happy relationship, INSIDER spoke with Jeannie Assimos, Chief of Advice at eHarmony, who shared these couples' best-kept secrets.

Secret 1: They’re millennials.

That's right—millennials win. Those between 25 and 34 were found to be happiest in their relationship, according to the study’s press release. 

Secret 2: They possess certain attributes.

According to Assimos, couples with certain personality traits were happier than those without these qualities. She said both partners in a happy relationship were found to be creative, confident, sociable, and optimistic.

Assimos explained that these characteristics contributed to the success of their relationship.

"It all makes sense that those people are going to be happier. They're optimistic about life. They're open and more authentic about who they are," Assimos told INSIDER.

Secret 3: They have a combined income of $200K.

The survey found that those with the highest household income reported the highest level of happiness and satisfaction with their relationships.

Assimos said she was not surprised that money factored into happiness. Knowing that financial stress is such a negative influence in a relationship, it made sense that those who didn’t have to worry about finances had more time to focus on putting time and energy into the relationship.

But don’t lose all hope. Assimos told INSIDER that money isn’t everything. While 71% of couples who made $200,000 said they were completely in love with their partner, those making less than $30,000 per year came in at a close second at 65%.

• Dating apps mean we are given nearly endless choices of who we can date.
• While this should make connections easier, it also makes us more picky.
• This is because of the "paradox of choice" that makes us believe the grass is always greener on the other side.
• By always looking for something better, you might miss the opportunity right in front of your eyes.

If you're single, don't worry. Science has shown it's actually better for you in a number of ways.

But if you're spending this Valentine's Day crying over the fact nobody wants to be in a relationship with you, there's a psychological reason that might help explain why.

It's called "the paradox of choice," and it essentially means that while we consider variety as a good thing, at the same time, it makes our decisions more challenging.

For example, you may have met someone on on Tinder, and the first date went really well. You probably want to see them again, but you can't help noticing their tiny flaws. You know your online profile is sitting there on your phone, and you just can't shake the feeling there could be someone else on the dating app that would be an even better fit for you.

In his book "The Paradox of Choice," Barry Schwartz describes this way of thinking as "maximising."

"Maximizers treat relationships like clothing," he writes. "I expect to try a lot on before finding the perfect fit. For a maximizer, somewhere out there is the perfect lover, the perfect friends. Even though there is nothing wrong with the current relationship, who knows what's possible if you keep your eyes open."

The opposite of maximisers are "satisficers," who have the ability to know a good thing when they see it, without obsessing over "what ifs."

It's not the same as settling for a bad option, because satisficing also means having high standards. But it does also mean ignoring the temptation of finding out if the grass really is greener on the other side.

In theory, it makes sense. If you're always holding out for something better, chances are you'll end up with nothing. That, or you'll realise you left all your good options in the cold, and you'll end up with someone who's wrong for you. By that logic, satisficers are more likely to end up happy.

In a blog post about this for Psychology Today, Jen Kim writes about how in modern dating life, we no longer have the feeling of scarcity, as there are always so many options at our fingertips. This doesn't just make us picky, but arguably unreasonably so.

"How quickly have we thumbed left simply because the face peering back at us had an eyebrow hair out of place or because the guy seemed short even though you could only see his head?" she writes. "How many amazing potential mates have we missed out on because we were convinced the next profile would be better?"

In the end, attraction is about more than just a photo. It's more than just an instant spark on a first date, or a Valentine's Day card.

Ultimately, while dating apps bring us closer to people we might not otherwise have met, the issues they cause paradoxically make it even more difficult to make a connection.

To avoid falling in the maximising trap, if you think you've met someone and it could be something good, try and give it a fair chance. Otherwise you might be holding out for a fairytale that could never happen.

SEE ALSO: Here's what you should do if you want to celebrate Valentine's Day but your partner loathes it — or vice versa

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• In their most recent annual letter for their charitable foundation, Bill and Melinda Gates answered some questions they get often.
• Melinda answered the question "What happens when the two of you disagree?" by saying she and her husband agreed on basic values.
• Relationship experts (and long-married people) agree that sharing core values is an important part of a successful relationship.

Bill and Melinda Gates structured their most recent annual letter for their charitable foundation in a Q&A format.

One of the questions they answered was "What happens when the two of you disagree?"

Here's part of Melinda's answer: "We agree on basic values."

She wrote about a wedding gift they received that symbolized this idea: "a sculpture of two birds side by side, staring at the horizon." She added: "I think of it all the time, because fundamentally we're looking in the same direction."

Relationship experts would agree with Melinda's assessment of what makes a marriage work.

Peter Pearson, a couples psychologist who is the cofounder (along with his wife) of the Couples Institute, previously told Business Insider that finding someone who shared the same core values as you was the "holy grail" of relationships.

Values are different from interests, Pearson said. If you, say, love going to concerts and your partner doesn't, you can probably find a friend to go with you instead.

But if you're obsessed with earning more money and power and your partner is OK where he or she is — a situation Pearson has seen before — you may run into problems.

Karl Pillemer, a professor of human development at Cornell University, spoke with a series of older Americans for his book "30 Lessons for Loving" and came to much the same conclusion about the importance of shared values.

One 86-year-old man told Pillemer that it's important to find out from your partner: "What do they care about? How do they think about the world? What matters to them?"

Pillemer's interviewees recommended having an explicit discussion about core values with your partner before getting married, or deciding to be together long term. You'll want to cover values around children, money, and religion — and whatever else is important to you.

One 80-year-old man put it in very frank terms: "If you have divergent personalities and ideas of what's right and wrong, and what you want to do and what you don't want to do right at the very beginning, well, it's not going to get better. It's going to go downhill."

SEE ALSO: Melinda Gates explains how she and Bill can work together without fighting

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NOW WATCH: A relationship psychologist explains why marriage seems harder now than ever before

• Your choice in candy can say not only a lot about your personality, but also your relationship status.
• Godiva lovers are most likely in a steady relationship, while those having trouble defining theirs are probably drawn to M&Ms. 
• "Netflix and chill" sessions are defined by drugstore chocolates, since you don't have to pay more than a $1 to get your sweet fix.

As Valentine's Day is finally here (Y-I-K-E-S), we begin to wonder how we are going to be celebrating this over-the-top, grossly romantic holiday honoring Saint Valentine himself. Did you have a "Galentine's Day" or a nice romantic dinner with a special someone?

One thing we can all agree on is that no matter what type of relationship you're in, you're going to be consuming mounds of mounds of chocolate. What differs from person to person, though, is what kind of chocolate they are eating. I don't know about you, but I've always wondered what the chocolate you exchange says about the relationship you are in.

Here's my take on how relationships can be defined by chocolate:

1. In a relationship: Godiva Chocolate

As you and your special someone begin to celebrate your one year anniversary, grab some Godiva Chocolate to go. Making the best chocolate around the world, Godiva's many goodies never fail to impress that special person. From its delicately wrapped packages to its mouth watering chocolate, anyone in a relationship will find Godiva chocolate to be the perfect option.

2. Single and bitter: Lindt dark chocolate

Dark chocolate always knows how to cure you on Valentine's Day when you're alone and watching "The Notebook" on repeat for the twelfth time. Dark chocolate lovers from near and far can all agree that their is something SO satisfying when unwrapping the tinfoil off a piece of dark chocolate. Something surprising about dark chocolate is that it contains tryptophan, a precursor to the neurotransmitter serotonin that actually makes us happy while curling on a couch crying. As your heart breaks for your ex, just turn to your best friend, Lindt dark chocolate — which can be bought at a nearby drug store — for comfort.

3. "I don't know what to call it" relationship: M&M milk chocolate

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• US Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin is married to model-actress Louise Linton. They met in 2013 and became friends first.
• The couple live in an upscale neighborhood of Washington, D.C., and also own a home in New York City.
• Linton said their personalities are polar opposites.

US Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin and model-actress Louise Linton married in 2017, after meeting four years earlier at a mutual friends' wedding.

The couple, who live in an upscale neighborhood of Washington, D.C., and own a home in New York City, have both been married before.

Linton recently gave an interview to Elle magazine that included details about her relationship with Mnuchin. By Linton's admission, their personalities couldn't be more different.

Below, we captured the most fascinating details of Mnuchin and Linton's romance.

SEE ALSO: Inside the extravagant wedding of Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin and 36-year-old actress Louise Linton

Steve Mnuchin is the US Treasury Secretary. His wife, Louise Linton, is an actress and a model.

Source: Business Insider

Mnuchin is 55 years old; Linton is 37. Both had been married before, and Mnuchin has three children from his second wife.

Source: Elle

The couple met in 2013, at a mutual friend's wedding. Linton wasn't quite dazzled by Mnuchin, but she mentioned that she was hosting a fundraiser for a dog welfare organization. Mnuchin surprised her by showing up at the fundraiser and they became friends.

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Source: Elle

It can be easy to assume that the way weddings are now withwedding hashtags and couple websites and digital registries — are the way that weddings always have been and always will be.

But, as is the case with everything from candy to fitness fads to love songs, wedding trends have changed quite a bit over time. Things that you have grown to think of as wedding standbys, like white dresses and lavish wedding receptions, haven’t always been standard at weddings throughout history.

Check out what weddings looked like the year you were born:

1918: Getting married at noon

In the early 20th century, the most fashionable time to get married was noon. This mimicked the English wedding style at the time, according to Country Living, and, since it called for a sit-down lunch, it required more effort than an afternoon wedding, which only needed a casual reception.

1919: Getting married on a weekday

At the beginning of the twentieth century, it was customary to hold weddings on weekdays, according to Country Living. In fact, according to an old folk rhyme that many people at the time would have known — “Marry on Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth, Wednesday the best day of all, Thursday for crosses, Friday for losses, and Saturday for no luck at all”— it would have been considered bad luck to get married on a Saturday.

1920: Bridal fashion was ornate.

According to Bridal Guide, brides in the 1920s would likely wear dresses that mimicked the trends of the time — think dropped waists, ornate beading on the dress’ bodice, and Juliet headdresses.

• There are plenty of power couples competing in the Winter Olympics this year.
• Because some competition fell on Valentine's Day, many weren't able to partake in typical holiday traditions.
• Many, however, made time to celebrate the holiday with adorable photos on social media.

Valentine's Day may mean heart-shaped chocolates, roses, and fancy dinners for mere mortals. But for Olympians, the competition takes priority over the traditional celebrations.  

Despite the intensity and focus needed in Pyeongchang, many couples managed to take a moment to revel in the sweetness of the holiday. 

American figure skater Chris Knierim honored his wife and partner Alexa Scimeca Knierim on Instagram before they competed. 

Chris made sure to shout out his wife before they competed on Valentine's Day together, writing "Love you @alexa_knierim and hope you like my kiss and cry surprise!!!!"

The Knierims began competing together in 2012 and got married four years later. They are the sole US figure skating pair at the games this year and actually competed together on Valentine's Day for the pairs' free skate.

"I think it shows while we are skating more than ever how much we love each other," Chris told USA Today. "Not all the teams have the connection. It's natural for us so it's nice we don't have to work on it."

Canadian speed skaters Denny and Josie Morrison posted separate photos honoring their relationship

In a separate Instagram post, Denny reflected on the couple's journey to Pyeongchang.

"I've been talking about being here with @morrjosie for a very long time," he wrote. "It's like I've suddenly opened my eyes and realized we've actually made it this far. And it's beautiful."

Tatsiana Mikhajlova, a speedskater from Belarus, posted this sweet snap with her husband.

"Thank you for always being around," she wrote in Russian. Tatsiana's husband, Vitali, is a fellow speedskater. The two are making their Olympic debut, according to the official Peyongchang 2018 website.

Austrian figure skating pair Severin Kiefer and Miriam Ziegler made sure to express their love and gratitude for being together on Valentine's Day.

"Just feeling so grateful to be able to compete with my love at the Olympic Games on Valentine's Day," Severin captioned his post. 

Miriam focused on the competition, but made sure to add a Valentine's Day hashtag underneath her loving photo. 

Pyeongchang is the couple's second Olympics as a pair, according to the official Olympic website.

Italian figure skater Anna Cappellini wished her husband good luck in her post.

"Ok maybe we're not gonna have the most romantic dinner tonight... but it's still an awesome Valentine's day sharing this amazing Olympic experience with the one you love," she wrote. "Good luck baby I'll be hyperventilating in the stands."

Although Anna and Ondrej Hotarek are both figure skaters, they have different specialties: Hotarek is a pairs skater and Cappellini is an ice dancer. 

US ice dancers Madison Chock and Evan Bates each made time to honor their relationship on social media.

While Madison posted a romantic photo on Instagram and kept her caption simple, Evan opted for a sillier smooch and called Madison his "lovebird" on Twitter.

This is the pair's second Olympics together, but their first as a couple. In an interview with NBC last year, Chock explained that she and Bates have known each other for years. In fact, they even went on a few dates as teenagers — but they didn't fall in love and start officially dating until late 2016, they told NBC.

Elana Meyers Taylor and Nic Taylor are just excited to experience the Olympics together.

Nic managed to find his wife red, white, and blue roses to celebrate the holiday. 

Elana is competing in bobsled for the US, while Nic is an alternate for the team. But his enthusiasm for the event is infectious.

Want more? Read all of our coverage of the Winter Olympics here.

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• If you're falling in love, prepare for butterflies and excitement.
• However, if you're still distracted and completely wrapped up in someone after months have passed, it could be a sign of obsession.
• Obsessive passion isn't a healthy basis for a relationship.
• Here's how you can tell the difference.

Love is great. You've finally found someone who finds all your little quirks endearing, and who you can share your spit with.

Usually, if you're dating someone, you either have the feeling or you don't. If it doesn't work out, it tends to be because there's no spark, the chemistry is off, or you just don't have enough in common. When it is working, you'll have butterflies and want to see the person again and again.

But while it's easy to get wrapped up in the whirlwind of a new relationship, it's important to remember there's a difference between a healthy, growing love, and an unhealthy obsession.

When you first meet someone, your expectations might have been tainted by romantic films and books. You probably expect to be swept off your feet, and told how your new lover "can't live without" you. In reality, this might not actually be what you should aim for.

If someone you are dating showers you with affection and gifts right at the start, it could be a sign of love bombing— where a manipulative person makes you believe you've found "the one," only to start being cruel and distant once they've hooked you.

It's a tactic abusive narcissists often use to control their partners, because the victim will do anything to get the attentive, kind person back who they thought they met at the beginning.

Being all-consumed by a relationship in its early stages could also be a sign of obsession. Being completely engrossed in someone isn't necessarily a red flag that your partner is abusive, but it isn't a good sign either.

In his book "The Psychology of Passion: A Dualistic Model," psychologist Robert Vallerand says obsessive passion is more of a threat to a relationship than no passion at all.

If someone is in love with you, they trust you. They want you to be the best version of yourself and only want good things for you. That includes giving you space when you need it.

On the other hand, someone who is obsessed with you will be jealous and possessive. They won't like the idea of you growing as a person, or having any independence, lest you meet someone else and leave them.

Obsessively passionate people are insecure and so preoccupied with losing their partner they actually end up neglecting them. They are defensive, controlling, and resentful, so it's no surprise women in relationships with obsessively passionate men report being less sexually satisfied.

One way to tell if you — or your partner — are smitten or obsessed is by looking at what's appropriate for where you are on your timeline.

The start of a good relationship is going to be exciting, and feeling butterflies is a normal, fun reaction to this. But if months go by and you still find yourself distracted at work, or you ignore your friends, family, and hobbies for your partner, that's not a sign of a healthy match.

Jonathan Marshall, a psychologist and relationship expert, told Business Insider that when people fall in love it's natural for everyone else to feel out of view for a while. But if you start noticing your primary focus is this other person to the point you're becoming isolated from things that were previously important, it's typically a sign something isn't right.

"When that other person becomes our raison d'être, it's too much," he said. "When the other person becomes your god, when your inner compass gets lost in the relationship and in the other person, then I think you're in trouble... Falling in love is a bit of a sickness because we go a bit insane, but if that insanity lasts for a long time, and you can't find your inner compass, then I think that's a sign it isn't in balance."

Butterflies, excitement, and daydreaming aren't red flags on their own. In fact, they are hints you're on the right path for something great. But if you feel you are being controlled by your passion, rather than the other way around, things can easily spin out of control.

Ultimately, if something is right, you'll feel it. If you think one of the two of you is obsessed, you'll probably feel that too.

SEE ALSO: Being familiar or comfortable with someone are two different things — and too much of one in a relationship can be a red flag

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• In Denmark, if you're still single when you turn 25, you're going to get covered in cinnamon.
• The tradition dates back hundreds of years to when spice salesmen would stay bachelors because they travelled so much.

Breathe, singletons — Valentine's Day is over.

If you live in Denmark, however, the nightmare continues.

As an article in The Telegraph explains, the streets of Denmark are often covered in cinnamon — and it's part of a long-standing tradition.

When you turn 25, if you're unmarried, it is customary in Denmark for your friends and family to cover you in the spice.

They don't go easy on you, either, covering people from head to toe and splashing them with water so the cinnamon sticks better.

Here's what it looks like:

A Danish man told The Telegraph that the tradition may date back hundreds of years to when spice salesmen would travel around and remain bachelors because they were never in one place long enough to settle down with someone.

Many of these salesmen would never find a partner, and would then be referred to as Pebersvends, which means "Pepper Dudes." A single woman is thus called a "Pebermø," or "pepper maiden."

This makes sense on your 30th birthday, where the cinnamon gets upgraded to pepper.

If they're feeling super mean, Danes sometimes add eggs to the mix because it "helps with adhesion."

Contrary to what the actions suggest, nobody is being judged for still being single at 25. The average age of men getting married in Denmark is 34 and a half, and for women it's 32.

Rather than a punishment, the tradition is just an excuse to play a prank and be silly with your friends when they reach milestone ages. It's also pretty funny.

SEE ALSO: This is why we kiss each other at midnight on New Year's Eve — and it dates back thousands of years

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• Helen Fisher is a biological anthropologist who studies love and relationships.
• She's found that there are certain universal behaviors that suggest a person is falling in love.
• Those behaviors include not being able to stop thinking about the object of your affection and feeling incredibly energetic.

One of the greatest things about new love is that it really feels new. As in, you're the first person ever to find it difficult to sleep, eat, work, and generally do anything that doesn't involve thinking or talking about the object of your affection.

Tell this to a scientist and they'll laugh. Current evidence suggests that romantic love unfolds in more or less the same way in everyone — both in the way they behave and in the way their brain reacts.

In fact, the Daily Mail recently reported that, by 2028, couples will be able to take a kind of "love test," for which they'll get their brain scanned to see if they're really smitten with their partner.

But when I asked Helen Fisher, who is a biological anthropologist and the chief scientific advisor to dating site Match, whether she believed that such a love test would be available within a decade, she said, "I wouldn't count on it." The brain in love is a combination of multiple systems working together, she added, so it would be hard to isolate just one chemical that indicates a person is in love.

That said, Fisher has studied and written about the universal traits and behaviors associated with romantic love — ones that don't require a brain scan to see. In her book "The Anatomy of Love," which she revised and re-published in 2016, Fisher describes many of those key signs. Some are drawn from research done by Dorothy Tennov, author of the book "Love and Limerence."

Some of those indicators are listed below — and there's a solid chance you've experienced at least one before.

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The person is suddenly at the center of your world

Fisher says that the person you're falling for has begun to take on "special meaning." As one participant in Tennov's study said, "My whole world had been transformed. It had a new center and that center was Marilyn."

You can't stop thinking about the person

Fisher calls this "intrusive thinking."

She writes: "Thoughts of the 'love object' begin to invade your mind. ... You wonder what your beloved would think of the book you are reading, the movie you just saw, or the problem you are facing at the office." Similarly, you mentally review all the time you've spent together.

Many people say these thoughts are distracting to the point that they can't focus fully on work or school.

You feel incredibly energetic

"Hypomania" is a term for intense energy, and it's associated with the beginnings of romantic love.

Fisher writes that you might experience "trembling, pallor, flushing, a general weakness, overwhelming sensations of awkwardness and stammering." Or, you might find that you're sweating, that your heart is beating wildly, that you've got butterflies in your stomach, or that you can't eat or sleep.

The keys to a long and healthy life are right in front of you.

Instead of expensive face creams, a cache of vitamins and supplements, or a hard-to-follow diet, all you need are some research-backed tools to help you stay healthy as you age and fight cognitive decline.

These solutions involve simple tweaks to your diet, the right kind of exercise, and a healthy approach to relationships and the world around you. Armed with these tools, you can live long and prosper.

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Eat like a Mediterranean.

Some of the best defenses against the normal cognitive decline that comes with age may be on our plates. A growing body of scientific evidence links a Mediterranean diet, based around vegetables, fruit, nuts, fish, and olive oil, with a strong, healthy body and a sharp mind.

Studies link the diet with a reduced risk of breast cancer and heart disease, and also suggest that the eating plan may be tied to higher cognitive performance and a potentially lower risk of dementia.

Maintain friendships and build new ones.

Loneliness can be deadly — some research suggests it poses a greater threat to public health than obesity. Fostering friendship is therefore key to aging well and boosting happiness, several recent studies have suggested.

One of them, published in 2008 in the British Medical Journal, found that people who had regular contact with 10 or more other people were significantly happier than those who did not, and that people with fewer friends were less happy overall.

Friends who are not your family may be especially important.

In a pair of studies involving nearly 280,000 people, psychologists at Michigan State University found that in older people, friendships were a stronger predictor of both health and happiness than relationships with family members.

"Keeping a few really good friends around can make a world of difference for our health and well-being,"Chopik said in a statement. "So it's smart to invest in the friendships that make you happiest."

Do cardio exercise three times a week.

Any kind of movement is beneficial, but the type that will have the most benefits for your body and brain as you age is aerobic exercise, or cardio.

Studies suggest that running, walking, and swimming helps to lift the mood, clear the mind, and may even help protect from some of the cognitive decline that occurs with age. Cardio also strengthens the heart and lungs and helps tone up muscles — but make sure you're committing to it for at least 45 minutes at a time, at least three days a week.

• Singles in Silicon Valley are having a hard time finding relationships. 
• There are several issues at play, including dating app fatigue, culture problems, and skewed ratio of women to men. 
• One male tech founder said: "I have a higher confidence in making another million dollars than I do in finding a spouse."

It's getting harder and harder to find love in Silicon Valley. 

A new story from The Washington Post's Drew Harwell delves into the dating scene in the Valley, and how the nation's tech elite are beginning to feeling hopeless about their chances of finding a romantic partner. 

The Post cites dating app fatigue as one of the causes. Many dating apps may have originated in the Valley, but singles there are just as tired of swiping through seemingly endless potential matches and leaving their love lives in the hands of algorithms. 

Dating apps aren't the only problem — culture is playing a role, too. According to several young singles the Post spoke to in the San Jose and San Francisco area, many of the men feel "outmatched or overlooked," while women report feeling turned off by the strange or egotistical men the tech industry can attract. 

Here's how one tech founder framed the dismal state of things: 

"A ­39-year-old San Francisco tech entrepreneur who has given up on dating apps said, 'I have a higher confidence in making another million dollars than I do in finding a spouse.'"

But a larger issue at play is the gender imbalance throughout the Valley. According to Census Bureau data cited by the Post, the male-to-female ratio for young and employed singles in the San Jose area is skewed in comparison with the rest of the country. For every 100 women in the Valley, there are 150 men — that's compared to a 100-125 ratio nationwide. 

In fact, the Post reports that some Palo Alto zip codes have 40% more single men than women. 

The Post takes a deeper dive into the world of Silicon Valley dating — and some of the other options for love-challenged singles— so head over there for more. 

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• Finding your perfect match isn't easy but knowing what to look for can help you in more ways than one.
• It's important to be with someone who shares the same values, such as getting married or not having any children. 
• How you and your partner travel together can also say a lot about your compatibility. 

Does your swiping criteria change as often as your fave pair of leggings? Last month, a good job and good hair got a right swipe. The month before, it was animal lovers. Before that? A full passport. And to what end? You’ve exhausted your date-appropriate athleisure options and are still looking for #theone to binge "Black Mirror" with.

According to relationship experts, your dating rut may be due to your inability to hone in on traits that predict a successful partnership, even once you’ve entered the IRL portion of the courtship. Height, sports team affiliation, and workout preferences seem important, but a love for the Yankees or CrossFit (you prefer spin) might not, in fact, be dealbreakers.

Now, of course there is a certain inexplicability to why a romantic pairing works or doesn’t, but these tips — provided by experienced matchmakers — may help you to be less scattered in your search. Because knowing what to look for is half the battle.

SEE ALSO: Your first love could have a big impact on who you date later in life, according to science

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• Often times when relationships end, one person is left in the dark as to why. 
• After a Valentine's Day break up, Sarah Raphael asked her ex-boyfriend 29 brutal questions about their relationship and eventual break up.
• From "What initially attracted you to me?" to "Did you cheat on me?" his answers were incredibly honest.

Sometimes, when relationships break down, the reasons are clear: they cheated, you cheated, one of you moved away, you drifted apart, you fought all the time, you wanted different things. But sometimes you have no idea what happened, because the person was so afraid of hurting your feelings during the break-up that they hardly say anything at all, leaving you to draw your own conclusions, put two and two together, and come up with a story that could be so far off the mark, but which you and your friends think is the most likely explanation. So that becomes "what happened." In these cases, the relationship can stay hanging in the wardrobe of your past for years. So when enough time has gone by that your feelings probably won't get hurt, what is the harm in asking? Saving face is so 2010.

1. What initially attracted you to me?

 "Your unconventionally beautiful face, luscious hair, and good chat."

2. What do you think initially attracted me to you? 

"My conventionally beautiful face, shaved head, and good backchat."

3. What is your favorite memory of me? 

"Two things come to my mind. 1) Building an adult-sized igloo with you and your family in your garden at Christmas. 2) Sitting side by side on the front row of the Nemesis Inferno rollercoaster at Thorpe Park and doing the unconditional 'no fear' handshake we used to do."

4. What is your least favorite memory of me? 

"Aside from breaking up… looking after you one night when you were drunk. I sensed a vomit eruption was about to happen so [I] grabbed the nearest bin, only to find the bin was perforated. Carrying you half-conscious to the shower to then wash the sick off both of us, covered in sick… well, say no more. But I will, because then I put on marigolds and scrubbed the sick off the carpet, at 4 a.m., with baby wipes because there was nothing else."

5. Why did we break up?

 "Things had started to take off at work for me. Things had definitely taken off at work for you. I think I was in too much of a routine. I didn’t like waiting outside your work for you all the time. Things started to annoy me more. I wanted more attention. You started to do drugs. I fancied other girls. I needed some independence."

6. Describe the night of the break-up, from your point of view.

 "The break-up, in my mind, started from the moment we finished watching Requiem for a Dream. That film was so emotionally destroying, I don’t know, it’s like it gave me the push to do it somehow… it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I thought breaking up was the right thing to do, so I did it, but it was horrible. I’d never broken up with somebody I loved before. That night was a messy blur, but I remember calling my best friend halfway through it for emotional support, but he couldn’t speak because he was in the cinema! I had second thoughts throughout, but I was too stubborn to change my mind."

7. What was I like as a girlfriend?

 "Great. You had your good points and bad points, but I certainly fell madly in love with you to the point of obsession. You had your own sort of way about showing love and affection, though. I’m a naturally affectionate person: kissing, touching, hugging, saying things, messaging things. You weren’t like that. I remember I used to call you Ice Queen. But I think I only called you Ice Queen because you said your previous boyfriend also called you Ice Queen?! That being said, I did feel loved. And love and affection aside, you were super fun. Great sense of humor. Outgoing. You always wanted to do stuff, or had something interesting to do (most of which was work-related, not that that matters). You were great with my family. My mom thought we’d be together forever, and you’ve been the benchmark ever since. You were so easy to be around and you were also my best friend."

8. What did you learn about women from going out with me? 

"That they are often like their mothers."

9. Was there anything I did that you found really annoying but could never tell me? 

"Took work too seriously."

10. What were my worst traits as a girlfriend?

 "This is being fairly picky but: working too much, being quite cold with affection, and not being able to cook, lol."

11. What were my best traits? 

"Intelligence. Sense of humor. Very attractive. Fashion sense."

12. What would you have done differently in the relationship?

 "I wish I’d been less intense, less obsessive, less controlling. I wish I’d included you more in stuff I did with my friends. I wish I’d been more honest and open with you at the time about the stresses and the strains I thought were affecting our relationship."

13. What did you do differently in your next relationship after me? 

"I learned to compromise. I was less moody and less obsessive."

14. What do you think was the most intimate moment in our relationship? 

"That time I thought I saw a ghost, or a devil, and started freaking out about religion. You were so kind and empathetic. Never felt more for you than I did that night."

15. What do you think we lacked in our sex life? 

"Hopefully I’m not alone in thinking this, but nothing."

16. What is your favorite thing about me physically? 

"Legs."

17. Who were you sexually attracted to more, me or your girlfriend before me? 

"You without question."

18. How many times did you seriously think about cheating on me? 

"Twice."

19. How many times did you cheat on me?

 "Never."

20. What! I thought that was the reason we broke up. How long did you wait until you got with someone else after the break-up? 

"I think just over a month. Safe to say that was a disaster."

21. What did you tell your girlfriend after me, about me and our relationship?

 "That you were my first love."

22. Who would you say put more effort into our relationship, you or me?

 "I would say I did."

23. Would you go out with me again, given the chance? 

"No comment."

24. Do you think we should have got back together? 

"No comment."

25. Can you remember our biggest argument (besides the break-up)? 

"The night I found out you'd done drugs."

26. Having been out with me, what do you think I need to be happy in a relationship?

 "You need a rock, a best friend, and a good sexual partner."

27. What did your parents really think of me?

 "Absolutely loved you."

28. Describe a typical day in our life at age 35 if we were married. 

"We’d be living in another country in a super cool house. You’d be at home writing your third novel. I’d be at work doing God knows what."

29. Describe our relationship now. 

"It comes and goes, but it’s a very easy friendship. Something more will always be there, which is beyond my control, but it’s like those lifelong friendships everybody has where you go years without seeing someone and then when you do, you just pick up where you left off, as if nothing had happened in between."

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