• Most people find it rude if you use your phone during a date, according to the annual Singles in America Study by dating site Match.
• 5,000 singles answered questions about their dating lives.
• The results showed that people can be very judgmental, but they wouldn't turn down the opportunity to have sex with a robot.

It's a challenge to keep up with all the rules of how you should act on a date. For many people, going the whole evening without checking their phone will be an excruciating exercise in willpower. If you really like someone, you don't want them to think you're sidebarring them, so you'll just have to cope somehow.

In its eighth annual Singles in America Study, dating site Match asked over 5,000 singles in the US about dating rituals, including what people thought was appropriate use of their phone on a date.

As it turns out, not a lot. Three quarters of singles said they would be turned off if their date answered the phone without any explanation, while 66% said it was off-putting if they texted.

Even having the phone around is a risk, with 58% saying they didn't want their date to place the phone on the table face up, and 41% said it's rude when someone takes their phone to the bathroom or outside — perhaps because there's a chance they're gossiping to their friends about how terrible the date is going.

But it's not just about the etiquette. People are fairly judgmental when it comes to how you use your phone in general. People with an Android phone were 15 times more likely to judge someone negatively for having an iPhone, and Apple users were 21 times more likely to think the same about Android users.

Women were 92% more likely to judge their date for having an older model of phone, and 14% of all singles said they didn't like it if you have a cracked screen. 14% also thought having audible clicks while typing was irritating.

Singles weren't totally against technology advances in dating, though. According to the survey, one in four people would have sex with a robot if they were given the chance — but nearly half said they would consider it cheating if their partner did it behind their back.

SEE ALSO: Women like to be hugged on the first date, think more than two drinks is too many, and reach their sexual peak at 66, according to a new survey

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Pet names are more or less unavoidable. Even if you have an agreement in your relationship to avoid calling each other "honey" or "baby," it's likely one of you will fall into the trap at some point.

Research has shown that using cutesy terms could be a result of your mother using them with you. Pet names are essentially a form of baby talk, which help infants learn languages while expressing love at the same time.

More good news is having adorable pet names for each other is a sign your relationship is strong.

People all over the world make up affectionate names for each other, some of which sound quite strange when they are directly translated to English.

Language experts at Babbel looked into alternative pet names from around the world and found they vary quite a lot.

Katja Wilde, Head of Didactics at Babbel, told Business Insider in an email: "We use different words in order to differentiate between affectionate language and common language, so that we can made our loved one feel special.

"Latin and Greek used diminutive forms to express affection 2,000 years ago, just as today's languages do eg: -chen in German."

Here are 12 of the most original and unusual pet names from around the globe:

SEE ALSO: The scientific reasons we give our partners pet names — and what they could say about your relationship

1. "My little cabbage"— France

People in France often call their loved one "mon petit chou," which literally translates as "my little cabbage." Alternatively, they also use "ChouChou."

2. "Mousebear"— Germany

In Germany they fuse two cute animals together to come up with the word Mausebär, meaning "mousebear."

3. "Egg with eyes"— Japan

Oval-shaped faces are considered particularly beautiful in Japan, so it's a compliment to be compared to an egg with the name "Tamago gata no kao," which translates as "egg with eyes."

• Sarah Silverman broke up with Michael Sheen over Christmas.
• As a Christmas gift, her friend Kate Beckinsale gave her M&Ms with a photo of Silverman kissing Sheen on them before she knew about the breakup.
• Beckinsale dated Sheen for eight years.
• People thought Beckinsale was trolling Silverman after the breakup, but they're actually friends.

Sarah Silverman broke up with Michael Sheen over Christmas — and the M&Ms around her house are haunting her for it.

As a Christmas gift before she knew about the breakup, Kate Beckinsale — who is friends with Silverman and dated Sheen for eight years until 2003 — gave her M&Ms customized with a picture of Silverman kissing Sheen on the cheek.

Silverman posted a photo of them on Instagram Wednesday.

"Been ending every night with a microwaved bowl of personalized m&ms given to me by the very thoughtful and very cruel @katebeckinsale to remind me that I’m alone in this world," Silverman wrote in the caption. "So very alone. THANKS, KATE."

Since Silverman didn't specify that the M&Ms were a gift from weeks ago and only announced the breakup on Monday, people thought Beckinsale was trolling Silverman.

Beckinsale cleared it up in the comments to the post.

"I gave them to you on Christmas Day! In my house! When you were together!" Beckinsale wrote. "Of course I support you microwaving his head at any time I just have to make it clear I’m not actually insane. Love you lady ❤️"

Beckinsale and Silverman have been friends for years, even though Beckinsale once dated Sheen. In a 2016 interview with CBS's "The Talk," Beckinsale said she supported their relationship.

"I love Sarah. I’d love her if she didn’t have anything to do with Michael," Beckinsale said. "I’m just glad Michael found her. I think, especially actors for some reason, they think you’re throwing shoes at each other and plotting each other’s death — we’re not. She’s lovely."

But Silverman's M&Ms are still there, a reminder of Silverman's broken relationship. At least until they're eaten.

Join the conversation about this story »

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• A recent study found evidence that a single factor mattered more for a couple's relationship satisfaction than a handful of other considerations, including marriage.
• That factor was whether couples saw their significant other as their best friend.
• "Maybe what is really important [in a relationship] is friendship, and to never forget that in the push and pull of daily life," the researcher said.

Dating is tough. Finding someone you'd call your life partner is even tougher.

If you're unsure of whether or not your significant other is "the one," research suggests that it all comes down to one factor: Do you see that person as your best friend?

In a recent study of thousands of couples on marriage and happiness, John Helliwell, a University of British Columbia economist and the co-author of the United Nations World Happiness Report, found evidence that a strong friendship mattered more for a couple's relationship satisfaction than a handful of other considerations, including whether or not the pair was married.

"Maybe what is really important [in a relationship] is friendship, and to never forget that in the push and pull of daily life," Helliwell told the New York Times.

Helliwell came to this conclusion after he and his research team analyzed data from two large British surveys and the Gallup World Poll. After accounting for the couples' ages, gender, income, and health conditions, they found that the happiest couples all said their significant other was their closest friend.

Co-habitating couples who were best friends were just as happy as couples who were best friends and married, the results suggested.

"What immediately intrigued me about the results was to rethink marriage as a whole," Helliwell said.

The chart below comes from the study and  compares the "life satisfaction" of couples who were married (blue bars) with couples who lived together but were unmarried (red bars). Couples who said their partner was their best friend are on the left.

Helliwell isn't alone in rethinking the value of marriage.

Bella DePaulo, a psychologist at the University of California Santa Barbara, recently looked at a large 2012 review of more than 20 studies of married and divorced couples. She found that marriage didn't seem to make people happier — in fact, it may do the opposite.

"Except for that initial short-lived honeymoon effect for life satisfaction," she wrote in a blog post for Psychology Today about her findings, "getting married did not result in getting happier or more satisfied. In fact, for life satisfaction and relationship satisfaction, the trajectories over time headed in the less satisfied direction."

That idea is supported by a 2011 review of the impact on happiness of major life events, which found that couples who got married generally felt less happy and less satisfied with their lives over time.

But it's not all bad news. Helliwell's study — along with a 2012 survey of American couples— suggests that living with your partner and not getting married to them might be your best bet for a healthy, lasting relationship. The survey found that out of all of the couples, those who lived together but were not married had the highest self-esteem and overall happiness.

SEE ALSO: These are the questions one writer says can make you fall in love with a stranger

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Even on Valentine's Day, love can be elusive.

But certain factors make it more likely that someone will be smitten with you.

We dug into years of psychological research to find those particular traits and behaviors. And in the process, we busted some myths and learned that certain clichés actually turn out to be true.

SEE ALSO: 17 science-backed ways men can appear more attractive to women

If you care about the environment

It's easy being green – but only if you're seeking something serious.

A 2016 study found that men and women who make eco-friendly purchases are perceived as more desirable for long-term relationships, while those who make luxury purchases are perceived as more physically attractive and more desirable for short-term relationships.

If you play hard to get

A 2014 study found that men in a speed-dating experiment wanted a woman more when she played hard-to-get by acting disinterested in the men's questions. But these findings only applied in certain situations.

Specifically, the men had to feel "committed" to the woman, which in this study meant that they'd chosen her as their partner, instead of being assigned to her.

It's also worth noting that, even though the men wanted the woman more when she played hard to get, they liked her less. Alas, love is complicated.

If you display the right facial expression

Happiness is generally attractive on women — but not so much on men.

In 2011, researchers conducted experiments on more than 1,000 people, showing them photographs of members of the opposite sex and asking them how attractive the people in the photos were.

Results showed that men rated women most attractive when they looked happy and least attractive when they displayed pride. Women, on the other hand, rated men most attractive when they displayed pride and least attractive when they looked happy.

Interestingly, shame was pretty attractive in both men and women.

• If you use pet names, it might be because your mother used them with you.
• Research shows that using cute nicknames is a sign your relationship is strong.
• There are hundreds of variations from around the world, so you could try out a new one on your partner for Valentine's Day.
• However, it's important to make sure your partner is okay with the cutesy names, as some people really hate them.
• Insisting on using terms like "babydoll" when they're unwanted could indicate disrespect.

The idea of being called "babe" or "sweetheart" makes some people shudder. For others, pet names are so ingrained into their lives that if their partner calls them by their real name, they know something serious must have happened.

If you love to come up with new idioms to show your affection, this could be linked to your mother, according to Dean Falk, a professor of neuroanthropology at Florida State University.

She told Broadly that ultimately, pet names are a bit like baby talk, which exists to help babies learn languages while expressing love at the same time to bond mother and child.

"My hypothesis is an extremely simple one,"Falk told Broadly. "Couples, speaking this way, harken back to their own experience when they were infants and to their first love, their mother."

Pet names can be a good sign for your relationship...

Whether you've earned a new nickname from an inside joke or you're both the kind of people who use couple-y terms, pet names can be a good sign that a romantic relationship is going well.

Suzanne Degges-White, a professor of counseling and higher education at Northern Illinois University, agrees, saying in a blog post on Psychology Today that using personal idioms is a sign your relationship is solid.

Just like we can get to know our partners so well that a simple glance can convey how we're feeling, pet names are another way of appreciating that closeness.

One study from 1993, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, studied 154 couples to look at the correlation between pet name idioms and relationship satisfaction.

The research found that the satisfied husbands and wives reported more idioms than those who were unsatisfied.

However, the use of pet names declined over time. Couples married less than five years with no children used them the most, while couples in later stages used them the least, suggesting pet names are usually conjured up during the honeymoon period.

"I think it's a really human, natural behavior to take language and shape it for our own purposes," the lead author of the study, Carol J. Bruess, told Scientific American. "I think that's how nicknames evolve. We name things, we give things symbols, and over time we tend to naturally manipulate those symbols toward a certain outcome."

...But only if your partner actually likes them

Still, there could also be a more sinister side. Nicknames should be respectful, and if your partner is repeatedly calling you something you've already said you hate, it could be a sign they don't respect you.

"Sometimes pet names are used to infer power over another," wrote Degges-White. "Calling a female server 'Honey' or 'Babe' can be a way to call attention to your view of the role as subservient; it can be the same as calling females in the office 'girls' instead of co-workers or colleagues.

"According to many traditions and philosophies, there is great power in naming things and when this power is wielded by those who choose to use it to their own advantage, nicknames and other nomenclature-related communications can do great harm."

Different languages have their own versions

There are lots of variations of pet names people use in different countries around the world.

In the UK, we tend to use words for animals or food, which also seems to be a general theme around the globe. The French say "Mon Petit Chou" which means my little cabbage, or cream puff. In the Netherlands, people call their girlfriends "Dropje," meaning candy, and the Spanish say "Media Naranja," which means half-orange — the suggestion being that when they're together, they make a whole orange.

In Thailand, a loved one might be called "Chang Noi," or little elephant, and an Arabic pet name is "Ghazal," or gazelle. An Italian boyfriend might call you "Orsacchiotto," meaning little bear, a German may say "Spatz" for sparrow, and a Polish person might call you a little mouse, or "myszka."

"The use of pet names for our loved ones shows that most humans feel a need to express their affection in words, even when body language, a loving glance, or a hug would express the same," Katja Wilde, Head of Didactics at Babbel told Business Insider.

"It's also an area of language where the speakers tend to be very imaginative; pet names often come in different variations or are derived from each other in more or less corny neologisms which few people would want to share with the rest of the world, making pet names a very private area of language."

SEE ALSO: Relationship pet names are different in countries all over the world — here are 12 of the most unusual ones

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• Being single has a handful of benefits, scientific research has found.
• Studies suggest that single people tend to have stronger social networks and develop more as individuals.
• They even tend to be physically fitter.

Give Tinder a break and take yourself on a date tonight.

Being single has a handful of benefits, scientific research has found. Alone time is one of them.

Single people are more likely to not only embrace solitude, but benefit from it, recent studies have suggested.

Bella DePaulo, a psychologist at the University of California Santa Barbara, advocates the single life and travels the nation to present these findings, which she says are too often dismissed by the larger psychology community.

In a TEDx Talk she gave last spring, she called living single her "happily ever after."

Studies suggest she's onto something.

Single people tend to have stronger social networks

In 2015, social scientists named Natalia Sarkisian and Naomi Gerstel set out to explore how ties to relatives, neighbors, and friends varied among single and married American adults. They found that singles were not only more likely to frequently reach out to their social networks, but also tended to provide and receive help from these people more than their married peers.

Their results held steady even when they accounted for factors like race, gender, and income levels.

Put simply, "being single increases the social connections of both women and men," Sarkisian and Gerstel wrote in their paper.

Fostering friendship is key to aging well and boosting happiness, several recent studies have suggested. One of them, published in 2008 in the British Medical Journal, found that people who had regular contact with 10 or more others were significantly happier than those who did not, and that people with fewer friends were less happy overall.

Friends who are not your family may be especially important.

In a pair of studies involving nearly 280,000 people, William Chopik, an assistant professor of psychology at Michigan State University, found that friendships become increasingly important as we age.

In older people, friendships were a stronger predictor of both health and happiness than relationships with family members.

"Keeping a few really good friends around can make a world of difference for our health and well-being,"Chopik said in a statement. "So it's smart to invest in the friendships that make you happiest."

Singles also tend to be fitter

There may be some truth to the idea that people who "settle down" ease into unhealthier habits, at least when it comes to some measures of physical fitness.

In surveying more than 13,000 people between 18 and 64, researchers found that those who were single and had never married worked out more frequently each week than their married and divorced peers.

A 2015 study in the journal Social Science and Medicine compared the body mass indexes of about 4,500 people in nine European countries and found that single people had, on average, slightly lower BMIs than those who were married. Overall, the married couples also weighed about five pounds more than the singles.

Single people may develop more individually and benefit more from alone time

Several studies have linked solitude to benefits such as an increased sense of freedom and higher levels of creativity and intimacy. Amy Morin, a psychotherapist, says that alone time can help people be more productive as well.

"Time alone doesn't have to be lonely,"Morin previously told Business Insider. "It could be the key to getting to know yourself better."

In a 2016 presentation for the American Psychological Association, DePaulo presented evidence that single people tended to have stronger feelings of self-determination and were more likely to experience psychological growth and development than their married counterparts.

Still, DePaulo acknowledged that research on the psychological benefits of being single is lacking. While combing through 814 studies on singles, she discovered that most of them used singles only as a comparison group to learn about married people, not singledom.

Another analysis of data from the 1998 National Survey of Families and Households suggested that the single people in the sample were more likely to experience personal growth than the married people, as measured by how they perceived the processes of learning and growth and the idea of new experiences.

In other words, while romantic relationships certainly have benefits, being single does too.

"The beliefs that single people are miserable, lonely ... and want nothing more than to become un-single are just myths," DePaulo said.

SEE ALSO: How a 'relationship contract' could save your relationship — or ruin it

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NOW WATCH: A relationship psychologist reveals what you should ask yourself before getting married

• Sometimes you're just not ready to be in a relationship, and that's okay.
• Signs that you should just be single include not being happy with yourself, and not wanting to commit.

A good relationship can be hard to find. It's not all matchmakers, blind dates, and love at first sight. In fact, love at first sight probably doesn't actually exist.

The truth is, despite societal pressures, you might not necessarily be ready to find "the one," fall in love, or even go on a date.

Keep scrolling for eight signs that a relationship just isn't right for you at the moment.

You simply don't want to be in a relationship.

Sounds like a no-brainer, but sometimes we ignore our instincts.

If you know yourself and know that you're not ready or not willing to be in a relationship then why be in one? Yes, maybe you like a person a lot, but if you can't give the relationship 100% or you don't feel as though a relationship is possible right now, then you owe it to yourself — and others — to not get involved.

You're not alone if you want to be single. According to a 2014 Pew Research report, a record number of Americans have never been married.

Your reasons for not wanting to be in a relationship — no matter what they are — are valid, so you can honor them by listening to your gut and skipping the dating game for now.

You want to focus on other aspects of your life.

Work might be getting hectic or school could be taking up all of your extra time. Whatever the reason, you might not be feeling the need — or you might not have the energy — to focus on dating.

Sometimes we ignore these needs and enter into a relationship anyway. But if other aspects of your life are constantly taking priority over your significant other, your relationship will suffer. In fact, studies show that even the simple use of a smartphone could be ruining a relationship.

If you can't give enough attention and validation to make another person feel as though the relationship is reciprocal, you might want wait until you have enough time and energy to devote to a partner.

You're not happy with yourself.

We all have things we'd like to change about ourselves and insecurities to work on, but to quote RuPaul, "if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?"

Your self-esteem (or lack thereof) can take a major toll on your relationship. In fact, according to Everyday Health, partners with low self-esteem were "more likely to view their relationship in black-and-white terms: as all good or all bad," which led to some deep issues in communication and perception.

Nobody's perfect. If you want to work on yourself, then it's probably best to focus on solely that for how ever long you think you need to.

• Narcissists struggle with having positive feelings about someone while they are made at them.
• This means they get incredibly fierce and cruel during arguments.
• For many people, the best thing to do is to leave a narcissist and cut them out of their life.
• If this isn't possible there are some tactics you can use to stop the argument escalating.
• But it won't be easy.

Narcissists tend to be incapable of something called "object constancy." This means they struggle to have positive feelings at the same time as negative ones.

For example, once they are fired up for a fight, they can be incredibly cruel, because all they can comprehend in the moment are feelings of resentment and anger.

As a result, an argument about the smallest of issues can escalate quickly and fiercely. Something you may have thought of as unimportant, or even irrelevant, has been blown into a relationship-ending level row. They've spent your entire relationship working out how to push your buttons, and they will use everything in their power to make you feel insignificant and small.

If the narcissist is physically abusive, the tiniest inconvenience can cause them to throw things or even strike their partner.

Narcissists can be very delicate, depending on what sub-type they are. They can easily become offended, often accusing their partner of being "disrespectful" or "selfish" if they dare to do something for themselves. The world should revolve around them in their eyes, so focusing on anything else is taken as a direct attack.

This isn't necessarily a conscious act, and it's hard to understand whether narcissists really mean to cause the harm they do or not.

Expect the fight of your life

Elinor Greenberg, a therapist who wrote the book "Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety," told Business Insider that fighting with a narcissist is a completely different experience to regular relationship quarrels.

They are wired to be abusive because they're so hypersensitive and completely lack empathy, so they are primed to take offense and misunderstand someone else's needs and points of view.

"It's a lot of work for a therapist," she said. "I get screamed at, I've had people run from my room over the UPS man ringing my doorbell... I do 45 minute sessions, but the person who lives with them has it 24/7. So if they're going to yell at me over the UPS man, you can see just how hard it is for them to have a relationship without getting nasty."

Narcissistic rage ranges from direct confrontation with name-calling and hurtful slurs, to calculated, closed down reactions like giving their partner the silent treatment for hours at a time.

"They give you the cold shoulder, or they walk out and they find another woman," Greenberg said. "But it's all done silently and coolly and coldly — you know what you did."

In a blog post for Psychology Today, Greenberg highlighted a set of ways you can de-escalate an argument with a narcissist if you find yourself in that position.

For most people, breaking things off with a narcissist and being free from them is the only option. They will never change, and your energy is better off being used elsewhere.

But there may be some instances where narcissists are unavoidable, like if you have a toxic colleague or member of the family.

Here are the steps you should take:

1. Don't argue about 'right' and 'wrong'

There's no point trying to figure out who is "to blame" for something, as narcissists will never admit fault. They want to blame you for any negative emotions they are feeling, because they utterly rely on the image they are portraying as being faultless.

2. Instead, try to empathise with their feelings

If you are with a narcissist in the first place, you probably already have a lot of empathy. But even the most caring people struggle to see the sense of having it for someone who is hurling insult after insult at them.

However, if you find yourself backed into a corner, one way to sooth a narcissist's rage is to empathise with their feelings, and say something like: "You must have felt very hurt by what I did, I can understand why you are feeling that way."

3. Use 'we' language

By saying "we" rather than "I" or "you," you include yourself in the behaviour. The narcissist is probably so angry at you because you dared to defend yourself, so to try and stop the argument escalating further you can try and remind them you're in this together, and it'll be better off for everyone to stop.

4. Don't expect an apology

There's no chance of the narcissist admitting to any wrongdoing or apologising. This includes asking them to process what really happened. According to Greenberg, a narcissist will not be comfortable with the idea that they started an argument over something trivial, so it's best to just move on.

5. Ask about a topic that interests them

Narcissists love talking about themselves, or expressing just how much more they know about something than you do. So, in a similar way you might distract a baby with a set of keys, you can dangle a new topic in front of their face to veer the conversation away from conflict. This might not be that effective in the midst of a fierce row, but if you do it after some time has passed, the narcissist will probably take the bait.

Another similar solution is to ask for advice. This may look like a slightly less transparent way of changing the subject, because it'll make the narcissist feel like they are the only person you can go to, and make them feel superior.

6. Don't take the bait yourself

As the narcissist believes you have hurt them severely by whatever they think you did, they'll want to do the same to you. This means they'll proverbially throw everything at you, from that one time you misbehaved a year ago, to how you're acting selfishly right now.

Essentially, they are trying to get the maximum response out of you they can. Greenberg says that by ignoring the insult, you can often avoid the pointless fight. If you rise to the bait, things are likely to escalate, and you're effectively giving the narcissist exactly what they want — your pain.

7. Remember to put yourself first

Most experts believe being in a romantic relationship with a narcissist is an emotionally draining, damaging process. Ultimately, it's up to you if you think the tedious ego stroking and hard work is worth it or not.

In all likelihood, you'll probably realise it isn't, and you'll one day be able to move on with your life without the narcissist holding you back. But in the meantime, using these methods to de-escalate a narcissist who is on a roll can help get you out of upsetting, and potentially dangerous, situations.

SEE ALSO: Empaths and narcissists make a 'toxic' partnership — here's why they're attracted to each other

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• It's common for former partners to continue following one another on social media after a break-up. 
• But this can be detrimental to our mental well-being, as we are bombarded with a curated feed of images that can create feelings of inadequacy and jealousy. 
• By unfollowing an ex on social media, you are likely to move on from the relationship sooner.

The tipping point was the seafood buffet.

Or more accurately, the video documentation of my ex meeting his new girlfriend's parents over a seafood buffet, an occasion that apparently warranted full Instagram coverage.

The video, set to music that sounded like the auditory equivalent of really bad stock photos, showed images of the happy couple and what I presume was her family, fading in and out thanks to some very modern iMovie effects like slow fade and slide. But it was mostly — and let me stress this — photos of clams.

Call it what you will — the lightbulb moment, the straw that broke the camel's back — but that was it. I unfollowed him on Instagram and hid his updates from my Facebook feed — a full seven months after we broke up after being together for more than a year. (Brave, I know. To clarify, I only stayed friends with him on Facebook so I could avoid his friends on dating apps.)

It's one thing to know the obvious — that lurking in the shadows of my ex's new relationship was not exactly picturesque self-care — and another to actually do something about it. Especially when doing something about it was just a finger tap of "unfollow," something that felt so intangible, so meaningless, that I couldn't fathom that it would actually change how I felt about our relationship, and how much I still thought about, in my life offline.

But following him was taking a toll on my digital and analog health. It was exhausting, eating away mental space in ways I didn't even fully realize until he was (virtually) gone.

You can probably relate to my story. Social media's faux-connectedness gives us the ability to stay loosely tethered to people we care about, but not so much that we want to hang out with them in real life. The friends from high school, the people with whom you've briefly crossed paths, the occasional former co-worker. On the same side of that coin, because it's so easy — just a quick tap of "follow"— we often end up staying linked to people with whom we don't want a meaningful relationship with offline, or no longer can have. It seems like an unspoken rule of the social media age: you amass followers and become one yourself, and barring betrayal or death, those digital connections stay intact.

I stayed "friends" with my ex on social media because to do otherwise felt taboo. We ended things amicably, and unfollowing him felt overly dramatic — somehow worse than his many transgressions during the relationship.

So instead I became the digital equivalent of the "cool girl" as I tiptoed around other fun tropes like "hysterical woman" or "crazy ex-girlfriend." I was "cool" when he started casually posting pictures of the new girl and forced myself to stay "cool" when things got, as I surmised, significantly more serious. (See: seafood buffet.)

It didn't help that he continued to dole out likes on my posts, which made it all feel so friendly. Each "like" seemed capable of alleviating his past sins, as if one little digital affirmation could say, "we're good, right?"

But trying to pretend things were still "good" on my end was at odds with watching his new relationship unfurl before me. Every photo they posted together made my skin crawl but I willed myself to adjust. "It's just how it is," I told myself.

I not only started resenting this woman who had done absolutely nothing to me (and in fact seemed perfectly nice) but stayed invested in their new life together, becoming a sort of creepy, cyber third-wheel. And through comparing all the ways I was not her, my relationship with him — which obviously ended offline — continued. I was trying to get over him while subjecting myself to constant imagery of him with not-me, our once-real-relationship now reduced to its digital half-life, lingering but dying nonetheless.

Before social media, finding out about your ex's new fling(s) was nothing short of an investigative feat. (Or so my elders tell me.) Asking friends how an ex was "doing" or running into them with a new partner was about all the exposure you got to their new life without you unless you were willing to do some serious digging.

Today is a different ball game. Unless you're the type of person who immediately unfollows someone when something goes awry offline (which, alas, I am not), you're subjected to something worse than the truth: a carefully curated frame of their life, sans you.

I couldn't resist the siren call of his oversharing. And there was so much to look at — he was meticulous about archiving their relationship history, an obligatory selfie in each of the many museums they frequented. The transition to getting gifts for each other was fun, as were their coordinated Halloween costumes. Their first vacation? I was right there with them. The Bahamas are beautiful that time of year.

I assumed that their relationship, unlike ours, was perfect. The absence of information, coupled with the "perfect image" we all put on Instagram, goaded me into projecting a narrative that became louder than any version of the truth. They must be happy together! They go to so many museums!'

I tried to stop following him; I really did. His Instagram account was private, however, and every time I tried to break free Instagram would ask me, "are you sure you want to unfollow? You'll have to request [insert Instagram username] again if you want to see their posts." Being able to stay in the loop was more enticing than being left out. I was trapped in a vicious cycle of hating his updates and posts and needing to see them. Unfollowing felt too final — if I wanted back in, he'd know I'd left. And worse yet, that I still cared enough to come back.

But then the seafood buffet video happened.

It was so thoroughly absurd that I couldn't think of any way to process it other than humor. It was — *Italian chef kiss* — the best thing that ever happened to my digital life.

And here's why: it crossed a virtual line, an invisible social media code of ethics that, while subjective, is meaningful nonetheless.

I couldn't expect him to tailor his digital life to placate and protect my feelings. However I kept returning to this idea: he knew I was still following; he knew I was watching. I wanted him to keep her hidden away, but I wasn't a girlfriend — or friend — anymore: I was a mere follower. A voyeur. Something he knew, which begs the question, when you know a significant person or ex is following you, do you have to take their feelings into account?

In the moments before I unfollowed him I felt a nervous, giddy excitement. Then, I was doing it. It was a quiet relief when I finally told Instagram "yes, I'm sure I want to unfollow." More than feeling free, I remember feeling ownership, like I had regained some part of myself. Having me as a follower felt like his last Horcrux and after unfollowing, he was gone for good.

After I unfollowed him on Instagram and Facebook, I stopped checking my feeds as much. The currency of his "likes" lost value and I didn't have the same stomach- churning fear-slash-desire of seeing his posts populate my feeds. And I realized pretending we were "friends" and not just followers forgave him for a whole host of offline problems and assuaged his ego. Making sure he felt we were "good" felt like a civic duty, one society told me was just part of my role as "cool ex-girlfriend" in the digital age.

Since I've unfollowed him, I've felt free. Shaking him loose digitally allowed me to move on offline.

He still follows me, something I was acutely aware of at first, but that feeling has since faded. He never likes my photos although he religiously watches my "stories," something I thought would give me a sense of satisfaction or feeling of superiority but, in reality, does neither. It just is.

I do, however, consider him when I post pictures of my new boyfriend. I can't help feeling the push-pull of wanting to live my life, to show my friends and family that there's someone in my life who matters to me, something that inevitably seeps into my digital presence. But posting a photo of me and my new boyfriend being happy makes me think, "Am I doing the same thing to my ex that he did to me?"

This is not to condemn those who follow their exes on social media, or a call to action to purge your feeds of people who no longer serve you (though perhaps that's not a bad idea).

It's a reflection on decision-making, on choosing to limit the amount of digital information you receive in an age where there's an overwhelming amount of content. We can't control that content-churn, nor can we get away from the constant bombardment of imagery we don't actively choose to see, something especially true on social media where much of the content and comments are toxic, especially for people's' mental health.

But we can make incremental efforts to take our social media spaces seriously. It's not a game, despite the swiping and tapping and emojis. It's a part of our lives, one with marked — and still unforeseen — effects.

Just as I don't want to see 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop' or any of his adventures in theaters, and can choose not to, I don't want to see my exes and their new significant others online. But I forgot that it was a choice.

I hadn't opted in to keep following him after we broke up — it just was, and Instagram made it hard to get away amidst an algorithm that learned I liked his posts and prioritized them in my feed and a two-step process that made sure I really wanted to unfollow.

But it is a choice, in small but meaningful ways. We can limit how much information we receive from "friends" or exes who make us feel smaller or who hold us back. And importantly, we can do so long before the clams come along.

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Valentine's Day is one of those holidays that you either love or abhor. Some people live for the holiday and go to great extents to pull out all of the stops. They shower their love with gifts, candy, and romantic gestures – and expect the same in return. Others consider Valentine's Day a “Hallmark” holiday, contrived by retailers in an attempt to equate the amount of money you spend to how much you love your significant other. In fact, the National Retail Federation (NRF) reports that U.S. consumers spend an average $143.56 on Valentine's Day, with total spending expected to reach $19.6 billion in 2018.

Just seven weeks after Christmas, the pressure to spend and to come up with a social media worthy date night can put a lot of strain on a relationship. It's no wonder that so many of us have a Valentine's Day horror story. Here are some of the worst Valentine's Day experiences as told by Redditors.

"She broke down and left school crying."

"Junior year of high school I met this girl Julie in my ceramics class. I thought we really hit it off. We would talk and flirt all class. So on Valentine's Day I came into school late with flowers and had one of the hall moms deliver them to her in class. She got them and was ecstatic. She immediately texted her boyfriend (I had no idea she had a bf) who was on the football team 'OMG I love you. Thank you so much for the flowers.'

"He had no idea what she was talking about and said 'What flowers?' My friend in her class then told her they were from me. She broke down and left school crying. I never went back to that class" - Redditor guest_list

"I was technically brain dead"

"February 14th 2014, I passed out and was technically brain dead twice for eight minutes, and paramedics couldn't find a pulse either. I spent the next five days in a medically-induced coma in the ICU. So really, it wasn't that bad for me, because I was out of it, but for my loved ones." - Redditor RJB1337

"She didn't want to break her promise."

"Booked the fireside table months in advance in the wife's favorite restaurant only to have the hostess give it to another couple in right in front of us saying they asked five minutes before and she didn't want to break her promise to them." - Redditor trooper843

A total of 2,952  athletes have traveled from across the world to compete in the 2018 Winter Olympics. A handful of those athletes just so happen to be in love. These are the kinds of partnerships that give a whole new meaning to the term "relationship goals."

Here are 19 couples — some married, some dating — who are competing together in Pyeongchang, South Korea. 

American figure skaters Alexa Scimeca Knierim and Chris Knierim have been married since 2016.

The pair spoke about their relationship in a January interview with NBC.

"It's our sole purpose to create a story when we're on the ice ... and if the audience is truly believing that these two [skaters] are in love with one another, then that's a sign that that team is really good at emoting.," Scimeca Knierim said. "Chris and I are just fortunate that we're not acting when we're out there. It's true love for us."

Source: Team USA

US ice dancers Madison Chock and Evan Bates are competing in their second Olympics together.

In an interview with NBC last year, Chock explained that she and Bates have known each other for years. In fact, they even went on a few dates as teenagers — but they didn't fall in love and start officially dating until late 2016, they told NBC.

American snowboarder Jamie Anderson is dating Canadian snowboarder Tyler Nicholson.

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They met at a bar in British Columbia and have been together since March 2015, according to Team USA.

Source: Canadian Olympic Committee

• Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate how committed you are to your partner.
• Unfortunately, if your partner is young, easily distracted, or even adequately sexually satisfied, they could be more likely to cheat on you.
• New research from Florida State University has highlighted some of the main predictors that your partner will stray.
• Keeping your partner happy in bed is one of them, because if someone enjoys sex, they might be more likely to go looking for more of it.

If you want a relationship to work out, there are a few early signs you can look out for. Thanks to new research from Florida State University, there are also some new predictors that a relationship will fail.

In a new study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers followed 233 newlyweds for three and a half years, documenting intimate details about their relationships such as satisfaction, commitment, whether they had cheated, and if they were still together.

In particular, the researchers tested psychological processes called "attentional disengagement" and "evaluation devaluation," while showing subjects photos of a mixture of highly attractive and average-looking men and women.

These processes are the ability to direct attention away from someone who is particularly good-looking, and the tendency to trick yourself into thinking someone is less good-looking than they are, respectively — both of which are common ways people in committed relationships stop themselves being distracted and tempted by other options.

Unsurprisingly, those who took less time to look away from the photos were less likely to cheat on their partner. Those who took longer to direct their attention away were more likely to.

"People are not necessarily aware of what they're doing or why they're doing it," said Jim McNulty, a psychology professor from FSU and the lead author of the study. "These processes are largely spontaneous and effortless, and they may be somewhat shaped by biology and/or early childhood experiences."

Other strong indicators someone would cheat in the future were someone's age, as younger people were more likely to stray, and their sexual history. Men who'd had more short-term sexual partners were more likely to have an affair, and the opposite was true for women.

Also, people who said they were satisfied with their sexual relationship were more likely to cheat. The researchers say this could be a result of people enjoying sex, and seeking out more of it regardless of how they felt about their current relationship.

The research team hope the results of the study could help professionals offer advice for people in how to stay committed to their partners. And, as social media results in more people connecting to each other, they say understanding how people avoid temptation could be more relevant than ever.

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Candy hearts, lavish flower arrangements, and boxes of chocolate line the shelves of stores, waiting to be purchased by lovebirds for their Valentine. 

But if you don't have a partner to celebrate with on February 14th — and you'd like that to change — don't despair. We've got you covered. 

In the interest of bolstering your love life, here are some science-backed ways to fall and stay in love.

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On a first date, get coffee, not ice cream.

Yale psychologist John Bargh has conducted a couple of studies that reveal an underlying connection between body temperature and personality.

He found that when we feel warm physically, we also tend to behave more warmly toward others. Therefore, if you want your first date to go smoothly, seek out warm places and foods — they might just help to heat things up later on.

While on that first date, be positive.

It's not all about looks.

A large 2010 study grouped over 2,100 male university students into three categories. The first group was given photos of women and asked to rate whether they found the women attractive or not. The two other groups were provided the photos along with information about the women's personalities — one group saw mostly positive information about personality traits and the other mostly negative.

The researchers discovered that the group given mostly positive personality traits found a wider variety of women attractive overall than the other two groups.

So, when you're on that first date, remember to think positively.

Listen up.

This may seem like a no-brainer, but listening is critical for all parts of a relationship — including the very beginning, the time after that honeymoon period has ended, and moments when inevitable conflicts arise.

A 2010 study of 373 couples from the University of Michigan found that those who were able to discuss issues calmly and listen to their partner when having an argument were less likely to separate later on than couples who didn't do this.

Psychotherapist M. Gary Neuman also told Business Insider that listening is key to falling in love because we all have a need to be heard.

Codependency might mean slightly different things to different people, but essentially it's when one person is sacrificing more for their relationship than the other.

In romantic relationships, it's when one partner requires excessive attention and psychological support, and often this is partnered with them having an illness or an addiction which makes them even more dependent.

A codependent couple will not be good for each other. Usually, they will get together because one or both of them has a dysfunctional personality, and more often than not they will make each other worse.

For example, people involved with narcissists will find themselves giving and giving, but it's never enough. Their partner will keep moving the goal posts and making unrealistic demands until the victim is completely burned out.

It's important to remember that in a healthy relationship, it's normal to depend on your partner for comfort and support. But there's a balance between each partner's ability to be independent and their ability to enjoy mutual help, and if that balance is off, that's when things get messy.

We asked 8 relationship experts for the warning signs you could be in a codependent relationship. Here's what they said:

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1. You start filling in the gaps

"The first sign of codependency creeping into a relationship will involve one person starting to take on the responsibility to keep in touch and connect. As a partner pulls back in how much time, effort, and care they are giving, the other partner instinctively fills in the gap by working harder to stay bonded. As soon as this happens, the relationship has shifted in an unhealthy direction towards codependency."

— Shannon Thomas, therapist and author of "Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse"

2. You want to 'fix' your partner

"It all starts out like a fairy tale, but then your new partner starts to show some signs of unhealthy behaviors. Do you find yourself making all the sacrifices to support your partner? Do you feel like you lost yourself and you need the approval of your partner to be whole? Healthy relationships are created when both partners have mutual respect, trust, and are always honest with one another. Codependent personalities tend to be people-pleasers, thriving on helping others (or even thinking they may 'fix' them). When caring for another person stops you from having your own needs met or if your self-worth is dependent on being needed, you may be heading down the codependent path."

— Tracy Malone, founder of Narcissist Abuse Support

3. You lose all your boundaries

"One way of looking at a codependent person... is she is an over-giver. She always feels overly responsible for someone or cares too much for someone. She really feels like she needs to keep giving and giving, and overcompensating. These women can be really strong, but the problem is they don't grasp the need for boundaries. Boundaries are actually really useful with people you care about, but in a codependent person's heart, 'boundaries' is a very dirty word. They think 'the moment I care about you, I drop all my boundaries. I let you disrespect me, because I believe you have a story, so I over-explain away every single thing for you.' In other words, you give more credence to their story than to yours. You have to have firm boundaries, because when you don't have them, or you're not aware of them, you fall into the codependent trap."

— Perpetua Neo, psychologist, expert in toxic relationships, and creator of Detox Your Heart

• Couples therapist Lori Gottlieb is quoted in "How to Be Married" saying that you shouldn't expect to split household tasks 50/50 with your partner.
• Gottlieb suggests that the division of labor should be more organic, so that each person feels fulfilled.
• That may be harder than it seems. Even today, women still tend to bear the brunt of housework.
• One strategy is to get clear about who's doing what around the house, and then swap or outsource tasks so that each person winds up happy with their responsibilities.

There's a scene in one of my favorite movies where the viewer learns that a woman and her husband split all their expenditures precisely 50/50.

Except what's really going on is that the woman is paying for half of things that only her husband uses — she's even paying for half of the cat's flea treatment, even though the cat was a gift from her husband.

The implication here is that the husband is kind of a jerk, and that splitting things 50/50 in a marriage is neither fair nor romantic.

That movie is now 25 years old. But it's still reflective of what often goes on behind closed doors in a marital home. I thought about it recently, while reading "How to Be Married" by Jo Piazza.

Early on in the book, Piazza quotes popular couples therapist Lori Gottlieb on the topic of teamwork. Gottlieb said too many couples insist on treating marital teamwork like work teamwork.

She said, "They divide everything fifty-fifty. Half the time one person does the laundry; the other half of the time the other person does the laundry. They split the bills down the middle and the child care down the middle."

The problem, according to Gottlieb? "You can't treat a relationship like a spreadsheet. It has to be more organic than that. Each couple needs to find their own rhythm, where each person is participating in a way that makes you both feel like you're getting a good deal."

I love this idea — but I can also see how it would be incredibly hard to implement. Alternating who does the dishes on a night-by-night basis is a simple system. "A way that makes you both feel like you're getting a good deal?" That's kind of vague.

There are, however, ways to make it more concrete.

Gottlieb's observations reminded me of a podcast episode I wrote about a few months ago, hosted by time-management expert Laura Vanderkam and physician Sarah Hart-Unger. The hosts talk about dividing the "mental load" of parenting between two people, though the process works just as well for couples without kids.

The gist is that the couple first gets clear on who's doing what and then tries to figure out a way to ensure that both people are doing tasks they enjoy — or at least can tolerate. Meaning you either trade tasks with each other or outsource them to someone else, if that's financially possible.

For example, maybe your partner currently scrubs down the shower every week and you make sure the bills get paid on time. You both find your respective tasks tedious. You might try swapping those chores, or you might see how it feels to pay bills together and hire a house cleaner to take care of the shower.

The goal isn't to get perfectly even — paying the bills might take longer and have clearer consequences than cleaning the shower — but to make sure no one feels "stuck" in their role.

Couples who have a fluid system for divvying up household tasks may be happier

The division of household labor in particular is closely linked to a couple's satisfaction with the relationship, and with their lives in general.

In an excerpt from "Fast-Forward Family,"published on The Atlantic, Wendy Klein, Carolina Izquierdo, and Thomas N. Bradbury write: "The couples in our study who lacked clarity on what, when, and how household tasks and responsibilities would be carried out often said that they felt drained and rushed and had difficulty communicating their dissatisfaction in their lives.

But — and this is a big but — even couples who had a clear system didn't see it as set in stone. The authors write of one successful couple: "Each spouse frequently assisted the other with whatever needed to be done in each domain."

To be sure, the authors write that in heterosexual couples, women still tend to bear the brunt of the mental load.

A popular comic by an artist named Emma, published in 2017, illustrates that concept, suggesting that too many men see their wives as the "managers" of the household responsibilities. "For things to change, it seems clear that men have to learn to feel that their home is also their responsibility," one character in the comic says.

One way to reconcile Gottlieb's insights with the fact that many women are doing more than their share is to think about the importance of communication. In this case, communication doesn't mean making a chore wheel and sticking it on the fridge.

It's more about making sure each person feels happy and fulfilled, whether they're doing the laundry, or paying the bills, or decorating the living room. So toss the chore wheel — and the spreadsheet — and opt for regular conversations instead.

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• New studies show that similarity in texting styles is linked to relationship satisfaction.
• People with either 'anxious' or 'avoidant' tendencies have different styles — the former prefers regular contact, whereas the latter can be put off by excessive messaging.
• Addressing the texting frequency you prefer early-on in a relationship will help to predict future romantic compatibility. 

As she does for so many affairs of the heart, Lorde speaks for all of us when she sings about the intricacies of texting: "I overthink your punctuation use," she confesses on "The Louvre," maybe the best song on her new record. "Not my fault," she adds; it's just something her mind does.

In one sense, it's reassuring to think of a pop star fretting over her iMessage in the same way that anyone who's dated anyone in our smartphone era may do. There is, according to both psychological research and clinical practice, good reason for that concern: Last week I was shocked to learn something that later made perfect sense, when a new study in the journal 'Computers in Human Behavior' found that perceived similarity in texting styles was linked to relationship satisfaction. Among the 205 young Americans recruited for a survey, the more someone felt that they and their partner had symmetrical rhythms of texting — messaging to say "hey, what's up" and the like at similar intervals — the better they felt about how the partnership was going.

Texting has become the way that we keep in touch: between WhatsApp and SMS, some 77 billion messages are sent per day globally. Texting is weirdly intimate yet distant: like a call, it shows up right there on your phone, which is likely on you, yet it's also what communications scholar call "asynchronous"— like email, you can choose to view and reply to message at your own convenience.

It's also low in "richness": you have body language when you're face-to-face, facial expressions over video messages, and tone of voice on a call, but over text, it's just typing and a smattering of emoji, meaning there's (perilously) lots to interpret in length of messages, speediness of replies, and like. This quicksilver combination means that texting in relationships can be convenient but baffling. Especially when you just started seeing someone.

Humans are constantly sizing up one another's behavior, and texting is a primary one through which we start making evaluations early in a relationship, says Katherine Hertlein, a psychologist at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. "Did they respond, did they not? How many texts? Did they check in?" says Hertlein, who has a couples' therapy practice and also studies technology's impact on relationships. "Once that dance has gotten started, if you slow down to a pace where you're comfortable, that change is going to be interpreted as a lack of interest," she tells Thrive Global.

If it speeds up there might be questions around why, too: "Is this person all of a sudden interested," she asks, or are they getting a little overbearing? "You have to make sure that whatever cadence you start with is a cadence that you can be comfortable with and that feels authentic for you in the moment," she says.

One of the blessings — or burdens, depending on your perspective — of technology is that it allows for what psychologists call "social presence," or a feeling of closeness, from afar. Key to this, Hertlein says, is immediacy. That's one reason it's easy to get miffed at a partner who doesn't respond promptly. "You're supposed to be immediate, and now you have a device that makes you so," she says of the logic of the aggrieved. "Couples have problems when a partner doesn't respond because you have now violated the contract in the relationship."

There's good reason to believe that we treat our texts — and the phones that contain them — like we treat our relationships in general. Leora Trub, who runs the Digital Media and Psychology Lab at Pace University, has sketched this out under the framework of attachment theory, which is perhaps psychology's best model for understanding what's really driving our relationship dynamics.

In short, people learn how to love from their primary caregivers, most often their mother, and those patterns then transfer into their romantic relationships in adulthood.

If their mom was dismissive of their emotions as a child, they're liable to become disconnected from their own (and their possible partner's) feelings in adulthood, in what's called avoidant attachment. If they needed to act up or stay close to mom to get the care they needed, they're likely to bring anxious attachment into their grown-up relationships, meaning they'll be what's tactfully called "proximity seeking" in the literature and better known as clingy with potential partners. And guess what: we treat our phones much the same way.

A 2015 Pew study found that 70 percent of smartphone users surveyed thought their phone offered them freedom, while 30 percent thought it felt like a "leash." And in a paper published last year, also in 'Computers in Human Behavior,' Trub found that people tend to see their phones as both a refuge — they felt safer with it and distressed without it — and as a burden — an obligation to communication that they carried with them wherever they went.

Respondents scoring highly on anxious attachment measures were more likely to endorse statements like "I feel naked without my phone" or "I need my phone with me at all times," meaning the phone was something of a security blanket keeping you close to the reassurances of the social world. People high on avoidance were more likely to agree with statements like "I feel burdened by my phone." It's almost as if the phone is "this intrusive entity that's taking away from their capacity to enjoy things," Trub says. "They need to feel free of it."

The attachment is happening with the device, as well as the people behind them. "Am I attached to my phone because I'm attached to the people on the other side of it? Or am I attached to my phone for what it is?" Trub asks. "It's a great question. Of course, it's a both/and question."

This reveals something of the deeper mechanics at work for why matching texting styles signal a more general compatibility: someone with avoidant attachment might be alarmed by lots of messages (hence the dangers of "double texting," or sending consecutive texts without a reply), while someone more proximity-seeking will be made nervous by not getting a reply all day.

In her practice, Hertlein will see couples who have problems when one texts the other with an urgent message, saying they want to talk, and their partner doesn't reply right away. "You have now violated the contract in the relationship," she says, expressing that vexed viewpoint. "You didn't respond. You're supposed to be immediate, and now you have a device that makes you immediately available."

Put into media studies language, the aggrieved party was in a synchronous mode, while the other was acting more asynchronously. Hence why texting style can be so important: "If both people have a more asynchronous style then that would be a fit," she says. "And if both people have a really proximate synced up style that would be a fit." The opposite will sometimes come to a head in her therapy practice: Hertlein recalls a client who would text her husband, who was in meetings all the time, and he wouldn't respond." But that wouldn't stop her from keeping texting him going, ‘Where are you, where are you, where are you?'" she says. Clearly, attachment issues were getting inflamed.

To Hertlein, who's working on a book about smartphones and dating, all of it comes down to suiting the medium that works with the task at hand. Asynchronous methods are better for problem solving, she says, since they give you more time to digest the information you've received from other people and compose your thoughts. (In her practice, she's had a couple who, if they got into a fight, would go into separate rooms and start writing emails to each other — she lauds that as a way of getting the problem solving going.)

Synchronous methods, like a voice or video call, or a dedicated couple of minutes for back and forth texting, are better for providing support — that "social presence" of instantaneous interaction provides a virtual shoulder to lean on.

And while you wouldn't want to have the conversation on the first date, Hertlein encourages couples and couples to be to articulate what their preferred messaging style would be, given workloads, preference for alone time, and other needs. "Part of what creates satisfaction is when you use the technology well without knowing you're using it well, and part of what creates dissatisfaction is when you don't know what you're doing with it," she says. "Just because you have a phone and you know how to navigate the phone doesn't necessarily mean you know how to do anything with technology in your relationship."

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• Ron and Donna Kramer have observed the same Valentine's Day tradition for 39 years.
• Ron buys Donna her favorite chocolate from Buffet's Candy and puts them in the same box every year.
• Donna has dementia and lives in an assisted living facility, but the couple is deeply in love.

Ever since their first Valentine's Day together in 1979, Ron, 77, and Donna Kramer. 74, have celebrated the same way.

KOAT reports that Ron has bought Donna's favorite dark chocolate cremes from Buffet's Candy in Albuquerque, New Mexico, for 39 years, and always presents them to her in the same box. This year was no exception.

While the couple's Valentine's Day tradition is still going strong, Donna's declining health and dementia diagnosis in 2014 required her to begin living in an assisted living facility in 2015. Ron described the day she moved as "probably the saddest day of my life."

Her short-term memory is fading, but she still remembers the day they met. Ron, then an insurance salesman, knocked on her door, and she answered in a bathrobe and Big Bird slippers.

"I was really sexy!" she said.

Ron continues to visit her daily and plans on bringing her chocolate and remaining by her side for as long as he can.

"I made a commitment, and the commitment's gonna be for the rest of our lives," he told KOAT. "I've been with her. I'll never leave her."

See the whole story below:

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• For new couples, moving too fast or too slow when it comes to getting physical can be a big worry. 
• Many people wonder when the best time is to start being sexually intimate in a relationship.
• The answer is complicated, spanning anywhere from a few dates to a few months after beginning to spend time together.

Valentine's Day is coming soon, signaling a romantic milestone for many couples. But for some new pairs, the worry that your relationship is moving too fast or too slow can become a major concern.

Which got us wondering: When is the best time to start being sexually intimate in a relationship, according to science?

The answer is complicated, spanning anywhere from a few dates to a few months after you start to spending time together.

One of the reasons it's hard to determine the best time in a relationship to have sex is because there hasn't been a lot of research tackling that specific question. Few studies have looked at the health of a relationship as it relates to when couples first had sex, and the research that has been done mostly features specific samples of people — mainly college students or married heterosexual couples.

But here's what we know about commitment and sex

In the early 2000s, Illinois State University communications professor Sandra Metts performed a study to find out whether having an emotional connection — in particular saying "I love you" before having sex — could have a positive impact on a relationship.

Her study of almost 300 college-age men and women found that it did.

In fact, Metts' results suggested that couples who had sex first then said "I love you" after had a negative experience: The introduction of that conversation was often awkward and apologetic.

Metts' study provided a list of classic steps partners should take before they get physical, though it's not a clear indicator of the exact timing to have sex. The list includes getting to know the person, sharing a first kiss, then building up to an expression of commitment.

That emotional connection is one of the key elements of any relationship, psychotherapist Toni Coleman told Business Insider in 2015.

Having a good level of communication and an understanding of where the relationship is headed also helps ensure the experience will be positive, she said.

Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist from California, agreed that being on the same page emotionally is helpful for finding the best time to start having sex.

"The most important thing is you both agree not to push,"he previously told Business Insider. "Be clear that the person is comfortable."

In other words, it's best to wait at least until you're comfortable with each other and have a better picture of what each person wants in the relationship. But when it comes to how much time that takes, it depends.

Here's what three different researchers have to say:

Option 1: Give it a few weeks

According to Goldsmith, a total of 36 hours spent together is all it takes to be ready. Those hours doesn't have to be consecutive, he said — it could be a dinner date plus a weekend afternoon spent together, and so on, until the hours add up. For most people, that would probably take a few weeks.

If a couple waits much longer than that, he says, the strong desire to have sex may begin to subside. There's data to back him up — a 2012 study on sexual desire found that after the beginning phase of a relationship, sexual desire can drop.

Option 2: Hold off for a few months

Based on the findings of several studies, Coleman suggests that at least three months into a relationship — or when it's clear the honeymoon phase is over — is the best time to start having sex.

The honeymoon period is the first few months of a new relationship, when feelings of attraction are intense and it seems as if the person you're with can do no wrong.

"You move past that, and your feet are more on the ground," Coleman said, adding that [Metts' study] suggested the couples who "waited until that level fared a lot better than people who had sex on the first, second, or third date."

Goldsmith disagrees, though — he thinks the time after the honeymoon period is too late.

Option 3: Wait until marriage

Some people's religious beliefs dictate that they wait to have sex until after they get married. There isn't much scientific research about how this practice impacts a long-term relationship, however.

In 2010, Dean Busby, the director of the school of family life at Brigham Young University, performed a study that suggested that the longer you delay sex — especially if you wait until marriage — the more stable and satisfying your relationship will be. But Brigham Young University, which funded Busby's research, is owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which isn't a fan of sexual intimacy outside of marriage.

That said, Busby's study built on a bit of earlier research, including one observational study that looked at data from the National Survey of Family Growth. Those findings suggested that women who had one or more intimate relationships involving sex before marriage were at a higher risk of divorce later down the line. But again, the evidence to support that claim is very limited.

SEE ALSO: How much sex you should be having in a healthy relationship

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If you've ever fantasized of being in a French romance, it may be different than how you imagined. In terms of the progressive dating culture that exists today in the United States, dating in France is very much a traditional experience.

"The French remain eternally classic and old-fashioned in their manners like their dating norms,' relationship expert Margaux Chetrit told INSIDER.

To get a better grasp of the culture, we've compiled a list of the major differences between French and American dating.

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The French don't call it dating

Strangely enough, they actually don't even have a word for 'date' in France. The closest equivalent for going on a date would be a 'rendez-vous galant,' translating to 'appointment,' according to Jennifer Seiter, a relationship therapist. But most French men would consider that term to be too old fashioned, Seiter added.

The French would prefer to say something like "I'm seeing someone,' said Fiurenzu SANNA, marketing and public relations specialist.

They typically go on group dates

In French 'dating,' it is not atypical to be asked out in group settings versus a one-on-one get together, stated on Expatica.

It's a much more laid-back experience, different from American dating. For instance, the French commonly go to dinner parties with single friends and couples simply to enjoy each other's company, according to Expatica.

In meeting someone of interest in a group, you may then be asked to go to another group hangout or for an afternoon walk together, according to Complete France.

In France, they never just ask strangers out

Though not uncommon to be asked out by your waiter or your barista in the States, in France you would never ask someone out who you've known only for a few minutes, according to Seiter.

The French will only ask you out after they have gotten to know you very well, Seiter added.