• Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas began dating in October 2016.
• According to actress and singer Hailee Steinfeld, she gets partial credit for their meeting.
• Both Turner and Jonas had worked with Steinfeld on separate projects in 2015. 
• "I did get that text from Sophie being like, 'So tell me about Joe,'" Steinfeld said. "And I was like, 'Go for it.'"
• Turner and Jonas announced their engagement after about one year of dating.

After a mysterious and private start to their relationship, fans now know more about how "Game of Thrones" star Sophie Turner first met singer Joe Jonas. 

In an interview with Nova 96.9 radio host Smallzy, actress and singer Hailee Steinfeld said she get partial credit for being a matchmaker between Turner and Jonas. 

"I mean, I will say, I did get that text from Sophie being like, 'So tell me about Joe,' and I was like, 'Go for it,'" Steinfeld said.

As E! News reported, Steinfeld had worked with Jonas's band DNCE for her 2015 single "Rock Bottom." That same year,  she co-starred in a movie called "Barely Lethal" with Turner.

Turner and Jonas began dating in October 2016, and one year later announced they were engaged via identical Instagram posts. 

"I actually just saw them both for the first time since they got engaged," Steinfeld told Smallzy. "And yeah, I'm freaking out about it!"

According to Turner's BFF and "Game of Thrones" co-star Maisie Williams, wedding planning will have to wait until filming for the eighth and final season of "Game of Thrones" has concluded. But Williams is definitely going to be one of her bridesmaids, and we're guessing Steinfeld will attend the pop-royalty wedding.

For more on Turner and Jonas's full love story timeline, read more here.

Join the conversation about this story »

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With abundance of red carpet premieres, A-list award shows, and lavish parties, it's no wonder so many famous people end up together.

In fact, these star-studded events probably contribute to some of your favorite celebrities meeting, hitting it off, and becoming power couples in Hollywood. 

Aside from the familiar celebrity couples like Jay-Z and Beyonce, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, and Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, there are other couples that have kept their relationships under wraps and out of the public eye.

Amy Daire contributed to a previous version of this article.

"Game of Thrones" actor Jason Momoa has been married to Lisa Bonet since 2007 and they have two children together.

When Vulture asked him how he felt about working with his wife on the set of "The Red Road" his response was next-level cute:

I had to make sure I was on point because I knew she'd throw me under the bus if I didn't have any backup. But I'm always excited to have her around because I really respect her opinion. If anything, it amps me up. It's like showing off in front of your girl. You want your girl to be like, "Look at my man over there. Look at him go at it. Yeah he's all emotional and shit. He's so vulnerable. I love my man."

Lauren Graham and her "Parenthood" co-star Peter Krause have kept their relationship under the radar.

Graham says one thing that has made their love last is sharing a career.

"It's hard to explain to people when you have a fancy job like being an actor what is challenging about it," Graham told People in November. "So we just kind of have that shorthand, a shared language, which is helpful."

Teen drama stars Adam Brody and Leighton Meester tied the knot in 2014 and had a daughter together in 2015.

In August 2016, Brody took to Reddit to answer fan questions. When someone asked what his favorite thing about Leighton was he replied, "Too many to count. She's the BEST." 

The life of a celebrity seems so glamorous — fame, fortune, and oftentimes, an equally successful significant other.

But just like everyone else, their relationships don’t always work out — and even they have exes they probably would love to forget about.

Here are some celebrity romances from the past that you definitely forgot about.

Justin Timberlake and Jenna Dewan-Tatum

Dewan-Tatum was a backup dancer for Timberlake around the time of his high-profile split with Britney Spears in 2002.

In a recent interview, Dewan-Tatum said, "[We didn’t date] that long. We were friends. Then we dated."

Cameron Diaz and Jared Leto

The actor and the Thirty Seconds to Mars lead singer dated from 1999 to 2003 and may have even been engaged.

Diaz reportedly wore a $15,000 engagement ring to the Golden Globes in January 2003.

Kim Kardashian and Nick Cannon

The reality star dated the rapper from 2006-2007.

Cannon told The Howard Stern Show that he ended the relationship because Kardashian, "Lied and told [him] that there was no [sex] tape" between her and rapper Ray J.

The act of sex may be a normal conversation piece nowadays, but one thing that people tend to still play coy about is the topic of good sex. That may be because we’re not too sure what is technically considered "good sex" and furthermore, how to know when we're delivering it.

Bethany Ricciardi, sex expert for TooTimid, and Kevin Darné, founder of LoverAlert911.com, both confirmed to INSIDER, however, that there are indeed a few ways to put your mind at ease when it comes to knowing your status in the sack.

What happens though, if your previous partners or current partner is shy? How will you know if you’ve got the memorable moves that will always get your lover in the groove?

Here are some surefire signs that prove you have what it takes to provide pleasure in the bedroom.

Simply put, you love sex.

Everyone may have their own depictions of what good sex is, but according to Darné, a simple indicator to knowing that you’re good in bed is how much you love sex.

"You are always keeping an eye out for new and different ways to rock your mate’s world as well as enhance your own experience," he told INSIDER. "This may entail reading books, magazine articles, blogs, watching videos, or utilizing toys. You enjoy having spontaneous sex and surprises. Simply put, you want to be the best and take pride in being skillful."

Anyone who loves what they are doing is usually good at it and sex is no different.

You're open-minded and switch things up.

Ricciardi said that switching up the sex positions and never skipping foreplay can also be signs that you’re good in bed.

"I think many would agree foreplay is one of the best parts and no one wants to sleep with someone who has a routine," she told INSIDER. 

You're confident in yourself.

It's often been said that confidence will take you a long way in life, and according to Ricciardi, that is also inclusive of your sex life.

"Having confidence could include you leaving the lights on, going completely nude (or wearing something super sexy)," she said. "You take control of the situation ... You're vocal; you're enthusiastic! You feel them desiring you!"

Confidence in the bedroom can turn your partner on even more because they know you aren't afraid to display your sexuality when with them.

Whether or not you're in a relationship, most of us tend to ask ourselves what the future will bring. Marriage is a big deal, so it requires a lot of meticulous thought — after all, a wedding day is supposed to be a once in a lifetime experience.

So, if you plan on it being your first and only rodeo, you want to make sure you’re ready for the ride. Although a little hesitation prior to such a big commitment is completely normal, it is in your best interest to watch for potential warning signs that you may not be prepared to tie the knot.

You’re not willing to compromise.

Any happy, successful relationship — romantic or not — requires compromise. Yes, it’s ok to be a little selfish — meaning you should make yourself and your physical, mental, and social health a priority, but if you find it difficult to care about the health and happiness of your partner even a little bit, you have a problem.

"Typically, commitment phobics are inflexible and loathe compromises," Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT specializing in codependency and marriage counseling wrote on her professional blog."Relationships revolve around them."

I’ve been with my fiance for six years, and we both agree that compromise has been the anchor that has kept our relationship grounded. It’s something we made a promise to embrace from the beginning, and I remind myself of it every day. It keeps us humble and understanding of each other, so it’s really important.  

Remember, compromise doesn’t have to be the ultimate sacrifice, it just shows that you care about the wishes and desires of your partner as much as you care about your own.

You have trust issues.

Some people's trust issues stem from past experiences or insecurities, and that's ok. But you have to be transparent about them with your partner to keep them from ruining your relationship. No one likes feeling like they're not trusted, especially when they haven't done anything to warrant it.

Often, an unwarranted breach of trust "deals with pre-existing issues," like family or childhood trauma, Lynda Cameron Price, Ed.S, LPC, AADC, licensed professional counselor and certified addiction professional told INSIDER. "Trust is significant because it's one of the core issues we deal with," she said.

If your trust issues are rooted in an unresolved issue between you and your partner, that's where the situation gets extra sticky. They will only bring resentment and bitterness in the future, so it's best to confront them and work through them before walking down the aisle.

You're not done "exploring."

Obviously, this piece only applies to those who are interested in monogamous relationships. You love your significant other, but you can't shake the feeling that you're missing out on new and different sexual experiences with other people. There's no shame in having those feelings, but if you're experiencing them, you may not be ready to say, "I do."

If you think your partner may share these feelings, it may be worth having a conversation about to see if an open relationship is right for you.

"If you are truly interested in an open marriage, you should have been practicing polyamory or swinging long before you headed up the aisle," Tammy Nelson, Board Certified Sexologist, Certified Sex Therapist, and the author of The New Monogamy told Huffington Post.

Communication is key. It's your relationship, and you can do whatever you want with it, as long as you're both happy. That's the beauty of love.

Before the internet, single people were often set up on blind dates by their well-meaning friends and relatives. Couples would meet for the first time knowing very little about each other, which would make for both exciting and terrifying experience. Today, all you need is a name and, within minutes, you can find out more about a person than you ever could over a cup of coffee. It's no wonder traditional blind dates are quickly becoming a thing of the past.

We took to Reddit to collect some of the worst blind date horror stories from real people in the dating scene.

"The odor was immediate"

"I wasn't feeling great, but decided to meet anyway. We met at a Belgian beer bar. She was gorgeous, fun, and totally in to me. I felt a gas pain, so I leaned forward slightly to quietly relieve the pressure. I completely and explosively s--- myself. The odor was immediate. I excused myself to the bathroom, but the damage was too great. I walked out of the bathroom, muddy-panted, out of the bar, and boarded the train for home.

"The date was nothing, compared to the horror of the following three weeks, recovering from E. coli." - Redditor jeremylee

"He 'forgot' his wallet."

"Got set up with a guy who literally watched me eat pancakes and only got water. I begged him to order something, I would pay (he 'forgot' his wallet) but it was so weird him watching me. After the whole awkward mess, I told the girl who set us up how it went. She promptly responded, 'Yeah I wouldn't date him. And honestly, I'm surprised I convinced you to go.'" - Redditor bluetreehugger

"You can just sit there by yourself"

"I had a date with some guy I had been chatting with and we agreed to meet at a pool hall ... I got there 10 minutes early and sat down at a booth and texted him that I was there and he just said 'Damn I told you to message me when you were on your way over.' And I was like 'Sorry I forgot, but I'm here right now if you want to head over.'

"And, literally this b---- just goes 'You should have messaged me. You can just sit there by yourself.' Dead serious." - Redditor Ratburg

• Being in love can mask our intuition and make us ignore warning signs.
• But sometimes, we may have a gut instinct something isn't right.
• It can be tricky to work out when you should listen to your intuition, or dismiss it as irrational.
• One way to try and work it out is to go for a walk and turn off your rational thoughts altogether.
• That way, your body might be able to come to a conclusion your mind couldn't.

In the fog of love, it can be easy to get carried away with the feelings of infatuation and ignore warning signs that someone might not be right for you.

Other times, you might have a niggling feeling in the back of your mind that something's amiss.

According to Jonathan Marshall, a relationship expert and psychotherapist, you should always be listening to this intuition.

"It's very easy to be dazzled by the other person's good looks, and charms, and other things," he told Business Insider. "Try to maintain one ear sensitive to your intuition, not necessarily going by that alone, but by simply being aware of it and listening to it. That little hunch — like 'he was a bit cruel just then' — don't just let it go."

One of the first things a narcissist or emotional manipulator will do is try and separate you from your own ability to listen to yourself. They will start to gaslight you, and train you to only take their word as the truth.

But not every relationship you get into will be with an abusive person, so how can you tell the difference between your gut telling you something important, and your mind getting carried away and obsessing over something unimportant?

"I think that's really hard," Marshall said. "I think it is ultimately about knowing yourself, and knowing that there are times when you're spinning your wheels, and sometimes you have a funny feeling."

He added that it's part of growing and learning to discriminate between the neurotic and obsessive thoughts and something you should actually listen to.

"Intuition, for any people, is less verbal and more silent and more textural," he said. "It's more of a sense, like a feeling or a vibe. Whereas the intellectualisation, and the over-analysis, it seems to me, is a lot more chatty. It is a lot more noisy... [Intuition] is not like the waves on the surface, it is more the tide beneath the waves."

Sometimes, if you have a hunch and you don't acknowledge it, this can send you brain in a spin too. In this case, it's usually a good idea to think about why you are obsessing over something, and whether there's something else you're ignoring that your mind is running away with.

Marshall spent some time researching how people make decisions. He spoke to a spectrum of people he considered great decision makers, such as a Fortune 50 vice president with a quarter of a million dollar budget, and a very zen meditation teacher.

One trick he learned was to simply go for a walk. The idea is to distract yourself from your own thoughts, giving your body a chance to come to the conclusion for you.

"I'd go for a walk where I don't think about it at all, and normally by the end of the walk I can feel what the right answer is," Marshall said.

"I think the research is in favor of this. We do have a way of thinking which is the front part of our brains which is word oriented and discussive. And we also have a way of making decisions that is not like that at all — it's much more feeling oriented."

When you step out for a walk, there is no more rational work to be done. Your mind will want to go over and over the facts to come to some sort of logical conclusion, but sometimes that just doesn't work.

It will be hard at first to quieten your mind enough to abandon all rational thought, but once you do, you might just find your intuition shines through.

SEE ALSO: It hurts when someone you're dating doesn't text you back — but it might have as much to do with you as it does them

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• Laura Dern recently was spotted with former NBA All-Star Baron Davis.
• She's spent most of her life acting and being in Hollywood, and her dating history reflects that.
• She’s dated everyone from Billy Bob Thornton to Kyle MacLachlan.

If having former NBA All-Star Baron Davis carry your purse and make out with you seems like #goals to you, it's actually just another day for Laura Dern.

The "Big Little Liars" actress — our favorite TV villain of 2017— grew up in Hollywood and has an all-star lineup of ex-boyfriends, from Billy Bob Thornton to Kyle MacLachlan.

Here's a quick review of some of her significant others you may have forgotten about.

Dern was linked to Nicolas Cage after they co-starred in "Wild at Heart."

National treasure Nicolas Cage has been linked to Dern in the past.

They co-starred in the 1990 film "Wild at Heart."

Dern was with Kyle MacLachlan for four years.

The "Twin Peaks" star met Dern on the set of David Lynch's "Blue Velvet" in 1985.

They dated until 1989, however, Lynch brought them back together for an on-film romance in his rebooted "Twin Peaks."

Dern met Jeff Goldblum on set when they were filming "Jurassic Park."

Before he was your Internet Boyfriend, Jeff Goldblum starred in the "Jurassic Park" movies with Dern. The two dated from 1995 to 1997.

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• Dating site Match surveyed 5,000 singles in the US to find out what's important for a good date and a fulfilling sex life.
• The results showed women still like compliments, and their sexual peak is a fair bit older than you might expect.

First dates make everyone nervous. If you're meeting someone from a dating app, it's especially hard becuase you barely know anything about the person you're about to spend time with.

Everyone has different boundaries, so it can be difficult to work out what someone else wants from the first date. Luckily, thanks to a survey by Match, we could have some answers.

In its eighth annual Singles in America Study, dating site Match asked over 5,000 singles in the US about dating rituals, the impact of social media, and their attitudes about love, sex, and relationships.

According to the results, the number one thing women want on a first date is to feel comfortable. 79% said this was their priority, followed by 35% wanting to be happy, and 27% wanting to be liked.

Compliments aren't going out of style, with 94% of women saying they would want to be complimented by their date, and 90% said they would want their date to be waiting for them when they arrive.

After the date, 91% of women would approve of their date picking up the bill, but 45% wouldn't mind splitting.

The main turnoffs women reported were someone having more than two drinks on a first date (80%), being rude to waiting staff (38%), arriving over 15 minutes late, or asking to share their date's food.

As for appropriate physical contact, 82% were happy with being hugged, and 71% would expect a kiss on the cheek.

When it comes to sex, whether it's on a first date or not, 83% of singles want their partner to be caring and enthusiastic, 78% want good communication, and 76% think it's important that their partner is a good kisser.

Too much talking was an indication of bad sex, turning off 82% of singles, and bad kissing put off 62% of them.

Age also plays a part in getting it on — and according to the survey, single women have their best sex at 66 years old, and men are just slightly younger at 64, but the reasons for this are unclear. According to the Daily Mail, it could be because at this age, people know what they want physically and aren't timid about asking for it.

"Americans are having long overdue conversations about people's diverse sexual lives, respect, pleasure, and consent," said Justin Garcia, a gender studies endowed professor and research scientist at The Kinsey Institute, and Scientific Advisor to Match.

"Singles of all ages, sexual orientations, races, ethnicities, and genders report that an enthusiastic, caring, and communicative partner are the key ingredients for a pleasurable sexual experience, which further emphasizes that affirmative consent and mutual respect and engagement is paramount to good sex."

SEE ALSO: People who sext their partners a lot are more sexually satisfied — but their relationship could be suffering in other ways

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• Manipulative people sometimes hook in their victims by "love bombing" them.
• This can mean compliments, public displays of affection, and gifts.
• If you fall for the trap, you might find yourself in a serious relationship quicker than you anticipated, with no way out.
• With Valentine's Day approaching, make sure you know the differences between someone who might be a narcissist and someone who just wants to spoil you.

You think you've met the love of your life?

Stop. Take a step back. Why do you think that?

If you've just met somebody who is saying you're "soul mates" and declaring their undying love for you after a few weeks, you might have just become the victim of something called "love bombing."

According to Dale Archer, a psychiatrist and author, love bombing involves being showered with affection, gifts, and promises for the future with someone making you believe you may have discovered love at first sight. The person is loving, caring, and affectionate, and they seem to just get you. Things progress quickly, and you start to wonder whether this is what you've been missing.

However, it doesn't last, and as soon as you show a hint of caring about anything other than your new partner, they get furious with you and label you as selfish. Their mask slips, and you see someone mean, belittling, and unreasonable underneath. They can't comprehend that you have anything else going on in your life, and they completely turn on you.

It's a form of conditioning, Archer wrote in a blog post on Psychology Today. It's a tactic manipulative people use and is, in fact, a form of abuse. If you are dating someone with dark triad personality traits— narcissism, Machiavellianism, or psychopathy — it might be a way they were grooming you.

Love bombing is the reinforcement, where the abuser showers the victim with love if the victim acts how they want. If the victim doesn't, then the devaluation stage happens, where they withdraw all their kindness and instead punish the victim with whatever they feel is appropriate — shouting, giving them the silent treatment, or even physically abusing them.

It can be hard to spot

It's difficult to pinpoint love bombing in the short term, because all new relationships are exciting. There is promise and potential, and getting to know someone you like gives you butterflies. The emotional highs and feelings of giddiness are normal and not necessarily cause for alarm.

What isn't normal, however, is quickly falling into a serious relationship where your partner demands lots of your time. Social media, texting, emails, and instant messaging make it incredibly easy to be in constant contact with someone, and an abuser who wants to love bomb you can easily take advantage of that.

You may have gone into the relationship with the intention of taking things slow or keeping things casual, but somehow you found yourself forced into a corner to do the exact opposite. You're talking to them so much you start to believe you were made for each other.

Before you know it, they might have declared you "the one," started making plans to marry you, or even moved in with you.

What makes you vulnerable

There are several reasons you might fall for a love-bombing abuser. In a blog post in Psychology Today, Joe Pierre, a psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences professor at UCLA, says narcissists are attractive because they have traits such as self-sufficiency, confidence, and ambition.

However, sometimes people repeatedly go for the same type of abusive relationships because of their issues they haven't worked through. Deborah Ward, the author of the book "Overcoming Low Self-Esteem with Mindfulness," explains in a different blog post a psychological theory that we are attracted to people who remind us of our parents.

If we have experienced trauma, perhaps with parents or past relationships, we may try to fill the void by dating similar people because we might subconsciously think we can fix the past with a different person. The damaging, toxic relationship may feel comfortable because it is the type you are used to.

Trauma doesn't necessarily make someone weak, though. According to Perpetua Neo, a therapist and expert in dark triad personality types, these experiences make victims of love bombing very kind and empathetic. Abusers can take advantage of this because they know they are with someone who may explain away their negative traits.

"People think often if you are attracted to a narcissist, you tend to be someone quite weak and very passive in your life ... but they tend to be very high-achieving women," Neo told Business Insider. "A very common trait I see in my clients is they're overempathetic ... but you stop empathizing with yourself because you explain everything away for other people."

Breaking free

When the love bombing turns into devaluation, it can be traumatizing and heartbreaking for the victim. Everything they do from that moment on may be to try to bring back the wonderful person they thought they had. In reality, this person never existed — it was a mask.

All the gifts and affection were "transactional," Neo says, because narcissistic abusers are always thinking about what they can get out of a situation. Every move and every choice are calculated. In return, the victim may end up feeling used and like a shell of their former self.

"They love bomb and then they devalue you, so you're always on high alert and you never want to do anything wrong," Neo said. "Because of that your standards are lowering, your boundaries are getting pinched upon, and you lose your sense of self."

If the victim does break out of the abusive relationship, this hopefully will become clear over time. The fog may eventually lift, and it may become apparent what all the love-bombing words and actions were: empty promises.

But there is nothing wrong with taking a relationship slow, and anyone worth being with will respect that. Archer says in his blog post that the best thing you can do is to slow down, take a step back, and remind yourself of your boundaries. If you feel like you're being pressured in any way, you may be the target of a love bomber. So try to avoid getting wrapped up in the moment, and remember to protect yourself.

After all, as the old saying goes, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is."

SEE ALSO: Science-backed reasons it's better to be single

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Malia Obama — the elder daughter of former president Barack Obama — reportedly has a boyfriend.

In fall 2017, footage of Obama smooching another Harvard student at a football game leaked to TMZ. The Daily Mail quickly identified the student as Rory Farquharson, a Harvard sophomore from the UK.

Then, early in 2018, reporters snapped photos of the couple shopping together in New York City.

Below, we've rounded up some fascinating facts about Farquharson's life.

SEE ALSO: Barack Obama's daughter is reportedly dating an investment manager's son who was head boy at a £35,000-a-year private school in England

Rory Farquharson is 19 years old. He is a British student who joined the Harvard class of 2020 in 2017. Malia Obama is also 19 years old and is currently in her second semester at Harvard.

Source: Business Insider, Harvard

Obama was caught on camera smooching Farquharson (The Daily Mail identified him) at the Harvard-Yale football game in November 2017. TMZ published the footage.

Source: The Daily Mail, TMZ

In January 2018, Obama and Farquharson were seen shopping in New York City's Soho neighborhood.

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Source: USA Today

• Indra Nooyi is CEO of PepsiCo.
• On an episode of the "Freakonomics" podcast, she said her mother advised her to "leave the crown in the garage," i.e. don't act like the CEO of her family.
• Nooyi added that she and her husband were constantly readjusting to make sure no one took on more responsibility than the other.

"Leave the crown in the garage." For nearly four decades, that's been Indra Nooyi's strategy for maintaining peace in her household.

Nooyi is the CEO of PepsiCo, and she speaks often about work/life balance. On an episode of the "Freakonomics" podcast, Nooyi shared how a controversial piece of advice from her mother has influenced both her marriage and her parenting style.

Nooyi is 62 years old, with two grown daughters. She told host Stephen Dubner that her mother "believes that these jobs [like the job of CEO] give you crowns, and leave those crowns in the garage when you come home. Don't try to pretend that you're still the big boss, because you're not."

Dubner asked Nooyi whether that idea seemed unfair — after all, if Nooyi had been male, her mother probably wouldn't have given her the same advice.

Nooyi agreed that it was unfair, but also explained how it's been useful — not only for her, but also for her husband. Nooyi's husband is Raj K. Nooyi, who is president at AmSoft Systems, and they've been married for 37 years.

Here's Nooyi: "We all have to develop adaptation strategies, because if we don't, we're going to start feeling resentful or angry with whatever's happening around us. From my perspective, my mom says, ‘Leave the crown in the garage?' Fine, I left it in the garage.'"

She added: "Would I have liked to have brought [the crown] in? No, not at the expense of my marriage and my children."

That is to say, checking your ego, or at least your professional identity, at the front door of your home can be uncomfortable. But as Nooyi sees it, everyone has to make some sacrifices to keep their marriage and family intact and for her, this was it.

There may not be such a thing as an equal partnership between co-parents

Still, the concept of splitting chores and childcare exactly 50/50 between co-parents is often more idealistic than realistic.

In an opinion column for TIME, Judith Warner noted that many families probably can't "afford to potentially weaken — or jeopardize outright — the earning power of the person bringing home most of the bacon" (who, she noted, is typically a man). What's more, it's often difficult to quantify housework and childcare; as Warner notes, some tasks are more rewarding or tedious than others.

Meanwhile, couples therapist Esther Perel told Vogue's Patricia Garcia that "equality in many couples is busted with the arrival of the first child." For example, she said, "There's one [parent] that's more able to fall asleep at night than the other. There's one that's more able to be flexible with their job than the other. There is going to be a frontline parent."

Nooyi didn't suggest that either she or her husband was a "frontline parent." Instead, she talked about re-calibrating on a regular basis, presumably so that no one ended up in this role.

She said: "I'm married to a great guy, but it required constant, sort of, adjustments to make sure that we both were equal versus each other, and to our children we both were parents."

SEE ALSO: When Pepsi CEO Indra Nooyi got her pivotal promotion, her mother cut off the announcement and sent her out to get milk instead

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• Feeling familiar with someone might not always be a good thing.
• Sometimes, we might be psychologically trying to resolve issues from our past with new people.
• In these cases, we may subconsciously seek out abusive people.
  
• Being comfortable with someone is different — you are able to be yourself without fearing repercussions for your views, opinions, or feelings.

Have you ever met a complete stranger, only to feel like you've known them for years? This happens sometimes, a bit like a personification of déjà vu, where you meet someone new but the conversation flows so easily it's as if you already know each other.

This familiarity may happen on a first date, where you start talking and you feel like it isn't the first date at all.

But there's a distinction between feeling familiar and feeling comfortable with someone, and the difference between the two is important to recognise.

Too much familiarity can be a red flag

Be careful of falling for familiarity, warns psychologist Perpetua Neo, because narcissists are familiar.

"A narcissist can feel very familiar if you are brought up around them or have too many of them in your life," she told Business Insider. "So familiarity is, for instance, 'I have this pair of shoes and they are spoiled. They are dangerous and they don't fit well, but I am used to them. So I feel safe in them but actually I could fall and they could kill me.'"

Some people find themselves being attracted to narcissists time and time again. This could be because you are a highly empathetic person, and narcissists are highly skilled at reeling you in and abusing your sympathy and generosity.

One psychological theory for why we fall into habits is called repetition compulsion. This is where we have a tendency to repeat situations that feel familiar. For example, if someone grew up with a verbally abusive parent for whom nothing they did was ever good enough, they may then subconsciously seek out romantic relationships with angry, dismissive people to try and fix the unresolved issue with a different person.

Relationships with narcissists can be so damaging to their victims that they start to question reality. Over time, the victim will believe everything that went wrong in the relationship is their own fault, even though it was the narcissist who was impossibly demanding and emotionally draining.

When their narcissist discards them, particularly psychologically vulnerable people may end up with another, and then another, when the relationships do not work out. They will be trying to repair all of their old broken relationships with people who are impossible to reason with, and find themselves in a cycle of destruction.

"That is the sort of familiar that's bad," Neo said. "And that kind of familiar might actually come up with feelings of danger, or excitement, which are key words associated with narcissists."

Instead, you should seek out comfort

Comfort is different. When you are comfortable with someone, it means you are relaxed enough around them to be who you are. Excitement is important too, but it should be balanced with the feeling of stability. You shouldn't feel like you're about to teeter off the edge of sanity at any moment.

"When you're free to be yourself you can talk you can joke you can laugh, you can actually tessellate between going deep, talking about intellectual and emotional stuff, and being fun," Neo said. "So it depends on who you are. If you like to have fun, if you like to tease and play, that might be higher on your agenda. But some people like to be very serious, then they have to be comfortable enough to be serious."

Ultimately it comes down to respect, and knowing whatever opinions you express, whatever you find funny, or engaging, or insulting, your partner will listen to you, whether they agree with you or not.

"Comfort isn't just about feeling like you're lying on clouds," Neo said. "Comfort actually means this alignment in terms of your personalities. Is there space for your similarities and your differences? When you're very similar, you may end up competing with each other. And if you're too different, it may feel like someone is trying to smother you with their opinion. So that's where difference is not healthy."

The trick to ending the cycle is recognising it without blaming yourself for starting it.

"Your mind keeps bringing you back to situations that are unresolved until you can solve them," Neo said. "What is the common denominator — it's me. So figure out, without blaming yourself too much, how can you actually sort out where that originated. Then you can end the repetition of compulsion."

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• Gisele Bundchen is a supermodel married to Tom Brady, the quarterback for the New England Patriots.
• Bundchen displayed a positive, supportive attitude after the Patriots lost the Super Bowl on Sunday.
• Experts have said that supporting your partner during setbacks can be crucial for a strong relationship.

Your spouse's attitude toward your job can often make or break your career — and it looks as if Tom Brady, the quarterback for the New England Patriots, has nothing to worry about.

His wife, the supermodel Gisele Bundchen, stayed positive after the Patriots lost to the Philadelphia Eagles in Sunday's Super Bowl, during which Brady missed a catch when he was the receiver in a trick play.

Bundchen posted on Instagram, "Congratulations Eagles for winning the Super bowl, what a game that was!"

She commended the Patriots for giving their best and Brady for investing so much time and effort "to become the best in what you do."

She even went as far as to congratulate every Eagles player she saw after the game, Yahoo Sports' Dan Wetzel tweeted.

"They looked star struck," he said.

Bundchen also seized the opportunity to teach her kids a lesson in good sportsmanship.

According to USA Today, when their 5-year-old daughter, Vivian, realized the Eagles won, Bundchen said: "Just this time. Daddy won five times. They never won before. Their whole life, they never won a Super Bowl. You have to let someone else win sometimes."

Bundchen's upbeat attitude after this Super Bowl marks a sharp departure from her remarks after the big game six years ago, when she was heard blaming the receivers for dropping passes, saying, "My husband cannot f---ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time."

Brady, however, has long seen his wife as a good influence on him.

"She is the most positive and energetic person I have ever met," he told Vanity Fair in 2009. "She always looks at challenges as her greatest opportunities."

In October, Bundchen posted an Instagram photo of her with Brady's mother, Galynn, who has cancer.

"So proud of this beautiful warrior!" Bundchen said in the caption. "I love you so much sweet Galynn."

Bundchen's supportiveness recalls something Alexandra Solomon, a psychologist at Northwestern University, previously told Business Insider. The most important thing a long-term relationship needs to be successful, she said, is "two people who are able to competently handle all of the s--- that hits the fan."

That is to say: You don't just want a partner who's there for you when things are going smoothly, but someone to rely on when the going gets rough.

Perhaps Bundchen is learning from her reading, which Vanity Fair reported includes the teachings of the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh and which Bundchen says has helped give her a sense of inner peace.

"You have this kind of epiphany — I don't need to sweat the small stuff!" she said. "Enjoy the journey, not the destination."

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• The Wall Street Journal reports that Facebook and Alphabet's Google have a policy stating employees can ask out a coworker just once.
• An ambiguous response counts as a "no."
• No matter where you work, it's important to know your company's policy on intra-office dating, and to proceed carefully.

The office has always been a reliable place to meet a partner.

A 2017 Career Builder survey found that as many as 41% of workers have dated a colleague — and that nearly one-third of those relationships ended in marriage.

Yet as sexual-harassment scandals continue to unfold in a range of industries, men and women alike may be justifiably concerned about blurring the lines between their personal and professional lives.

Yoree Koh and Rachel Feintzeig at The Wall Street Journal report that Facebook and Alphabet's Google have landed on a seemingly sensible approach to modern-day office romance. Employees at the two tech giants are allowed to ask out a coworker just once. If the person turns them down, they do not get to ask again.

"Ambiguous" responses — like "I'm busy," or "I can't that night"— count as a "no," Heidi Swartz, Facebook's global head of employment law, told The Journal.

Facebook employees don't have to report the date to human resources, even if one person is more senior than another, The Journal reports. But if there's a clear conflict of interest and the employees don't disclose the relationship to human resources, "disciplinary action" will follow.

It's important to know your company's policy on intra-office dating before you start a relationship with a coworker

For those of us who don't work at Facebook or Google, it's still important to think carefully about making romantic overtures at work. Brittany Wong at HuffPost recommends checking what HR policies your company does have — and following them.

Wong also spoke to experts who advise against asking someone out at work or in a communal area. "Be ready to give the person an easy out if they're not interested," one expert told HuffPost.

To be sure, even the clearest HR guidelines can still be interpreted in different ways.

The Journal spoke to Anna Wood, the founder and CEO of Brains Over Blonde who worked at Google for four years. Wood said she'd found herself on "accidental dates," meaning she thought it was an after-work drink with a co-worker and the co-worker had something more romantic in mind.

Even after a relationship starts at work, certain rules still apply. As Business Insider previously reported, you and your partner should get on the same page about what you'll do if rumors start to spread — or if you break up.

Consider, too, what you'll do if things work out: Will one of you leave the company to avoid the relationship interfering with work? As Lynn Taylor previously told Business Insider, if "love happens to strike at work, don't make a concerted effort to fight it at any cost. Just know the risks."

Read the full article at The Wall Street Journal »

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• Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk was interviewed for an intensely candid Rolling Stone profile.

• He discussed his views on relationships and loneliness.

• Musk has been married twice, and recently split from his girlfriend actress Amber Heard.

Elon Musk got candid about his personal life in an in-depth Rolling Stone interview.

He spoke of his breakup with ex-girlfriend Amber Heard, expressing his heartbreak over their parting.

It's an unusual move for Musk, who said in 2010 that he would "rather stick a fork in my hand than write about my personal life."

The CEO of Tesla and SpaceX went on to discuss how difficult it is for him to meet people, saying he is looking for a long-term relationship — and a soul mate. Musk even asked interviewer Neil Strauss if there was anyone Strauss thought he should date.

"If I'm not in love, if I'm not with a long-term companion, I cannot be happy," he told Rolling Stone. "I will never be happy without having someone. Going to sleep alone kills me. It's not like I don't know what that feels like: Being in a big empty house, and the footsteps echoing through the hallway, no one there – and no one on the pillow next to you. F--. How do you make yourself happy in a situation like that?"

Here's a look at some of the tech titan's past relationships:

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Musk told Rolling Stone he's struggled with loneliness since childhood. "When I was a child, there's one thing I said," Musk said. "'I never want to be alone.'"

Source: Rolling Stone, Business Insider

Musk met his first wife, Justine Wilson, at Queen's University in Ontario. Writing in Marie Claire, Justine — who uses Musk's last name — recalled Musk invited her out for ice cream.

Source: Marie Claire

She decided to stay in to study, but he showed up with "two chocolate-chip ice cream cones dripping down his hands." Musk transferred to Wharton, but kept sending Justine roses. They went their separate ways, but reconnected as Musk started working on his first startup and Justine started working on her first novel after graduation.

Source: Marie Claire

If you already have a partner this Valentine's Day, congratulations, you've beaten the system.

For the rest of us, modern dating is a minefield. There are so many rules and games to play it's easy to lose track. You might be "left on read" by someone you really liked, and your mind may spin out of control when you're over-analysing what their last few messages really meant.

The woes don't necessarily stop when you find someone. With Tinder right at your fingertips, it's tempting to go back and see if there is someone out there who is just a bit more perfect. With so much available choice, how are you supposed to know if someone is right for you? When should you stop over-thinking and finally commit?

Business Insider asked nine relationship experts for the signs to look out for when you're trying to figure out if someone is right for you.

Here's what they said:

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1. They pass the 'bar test'

"As simple as this may seem, I call it the 'bar test' to know if you're with the right person. When you're at a bar (or restaurant, wherever) with your new partner, are you looking around to see who else is out there or who might see you two together? Or, are you perfectly content with your partner, and you want everyone there to notice you with him/her? If the latter is true, then he/she passes the test. But if it's the former, it might be time to decide whether being in a relationship with this person is your best option."

— Erika Ettin, dating coach and founder of dating site A Little Nudge

2. They don't hold you back

"A person who can authentically be excited about your success and goals in life is someone who won't feel the need to hold you back. Most unhealthy relationships include some form of sabotaging of one partner. Dating someone who is happy with their life means they can be happy for you and alongside of you."

— Shannon Thomas, therapist and author of "Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse"

3. They don't want to change you

"When you listen to your heart, you'll feel whether or not the person you're dating is right for you. This is known as 'intuition' — your heart's message to you. Almost everyone can think back and recall a time when they didn't listen to it. When you feel good, feel that your partner is patient and true, treats you the same in public as he/she does at home, then you're on the right path. Keep in mind that your intuition may send out warnings as well. It may come as a gut reaction. For example, if your partner wants to change you in any way. He/she is not accepting you for who you are. If that happens, run. That is a sign of a controlling person and he/she will never treat you properly."

— Tracy Malone, a relationship expert on YouTube

• Some people truly hate Valentine's Day.
• Unfortunately, some of them may end up in relationships with people who expect them to celebrate it.
• Both partners can be happy if they are both willing to compromise.
• The important thing to remember is it isn't about winning, and instead about seeing the situation from your partner's perspective.

Couples argue about loads of different things. Maybe they didn't come to an event you thought was important, or perhaps you're in trouble because you didn't do the dishes when you promised you would.

Sometimes, a couple may even fall out over what to do on Valentine's Day.

While one of the pair might see Valentine's as nothing but a commercial nightmare, the other may well be expecting a romantic day filled with affectionate gifts and gestures.

This expectation can cause problems, says psychologist Lisa Aronson Fontes, especially when people think the day has to be perfect.

"People, especially women, often have an idealised image from the movies of what Valentine's Day should be," she told Business Insider. "Only good feelings, no conflict, perfect roses etc. So when we have high expectations, and the same thing can occur around other holidays, they're often going to be dashed because it's difficult for real life to meet those idealised images."

It's not about getting your own way

Another problem is when those expectations aren't balanced between the two people. Couples can get around this by approaching the day with the attitude of "how can I please my partner?" Fontes said, because because the goal is to generate feelings of love, not to get your own way.

"The goal is not to win an argument about Valentine's Day, or to show who's boss, but to communicate love," she said. "And so if the stereotypical act that people expect for Valentine's Day — a dozen red roses and a box of chocolates — doesn't feel right to one of the partners, they can come up with a list of things that feel right to them, that would also communicate love."

You could be with a partner who completely refuses to take part in Valentine's Day at all. "It isn't who I am," they might say. If they aren't even willing to think of the alternative (free) ways they can make the day special, then you may want to consider whether they are someone you really want in your life.

"So what if it's a stretch? We stretch ourselves for the people we love," Fontes said. "Your partner wants to be honoured on that day, so you honour them. People don't stop being their authentic selves because they give their partner something their partner wants."

Figure out what it is that makes you uncomfortable

According to Laura VanderDrift, associate professor of psychology at Syracuse University's College of Arts and Sciences and director of the Close Relationships Lab at Syracuse University, it essentially comes down to why you want to celebrate Valentine's Day in the first place. Once you work that out, it eases the pressure somewhat.

You might like public displays of affection or going out for romantic dinners, or you may simply like spending time with your partner one-on-one.

"I think it's important to consider whether it's the activities that constitute a Valentine's Day celebration themselves that are off-putting, or if it's the cultural significance of Valentine's Day that adds too much pressure to be enjoyable for you both," she told Business Insider.

"If it's the latter, then reframe the day so you can both be happy: you can celebrate your relationship however you feel fit, and it doesn't have to be labeled as Valentine's Day with all of its cultural significance or baggage. If it's the former, and your partner just simply doesn't want to do what you want to do, then try to take his or her perspective."

Relationships require a balance of opinions, choices, and beliefs. This includes whatever you decide to do on Valentine's Day. Ultimately, showing you're willing to sacrifice your own preferences for the sake of your relationship is good sign, and making allowances for one day won't hurt. In fact, it might make all the difference in the long run.

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• Rachel Sussman is a relationship expert and marriage counselor.
• She's seen many couples fighting while renovating their home. It even happened to her.
• Like having children, the home-renovation process may bring to the surface relationship issues that you've pushed under the rug.

Nearly 30 years ago, Rachel Sussman and her husband bought a second home.

During the renovation process, Sussman recalled, they had "one of the biggest fights we ever had."

Sussman isn't alone — one survey found that 12% of couples have considered divorce while renovating a home. But Sussman is a marriage therapist, and even she found that the experience took a terrible toll on her marriage.

"We were shrieking at each other, which we don't usually do," Sussman told me. Fortunately, she added, "a couple days later we were laughing about it." They asked each other: If they'd known then how stressful the renovation process would be, "would we have still done this?"

Sussman told me she sees many couples at each other's throats while doing home renovations. It's not necessarily that the renovation process causes problems; it's more that the process exacerbates whatever issues already exist in the relationship.

In some cases, it can even catalyze the dissolution of a relationship, bringing to the surface issues you might have swept under the rug. A recent installment in The New York Times' "Modern Love" column featured the story of Elaisha Stokes and her ex-husband, who tried to renovate a neglected brownstone and ended up divorcing.

Stokes writes: "I had tracked down old contractors who had worked on the house during its 22-year vacancy. They told me the home was cursed and regaled me with stories of those who had tried to move in over the years, only to watch their lives implode."

Sussman said home renovations can drive couples crazy for a few reasons. When the builder calls and needs an immediate answer, you've got to make a joint decision quickly. And typically, you end up spending more money than you planned to.

She mentioned that some couples take on a home renovation project to "save" their relationship, the way some couples think having a child will revive their relationship. "But in actuality, if a relationship is on thin ice, the more you test it, it's really just going to break."

Looking at different styles of homes together can help you figure out what your partner likes and dislikes

When Sussman works with couples facing this issue, she'll try to dig deeper to "tease out any underlying issues the couples may have." That makes talking about the home renovations easier.

Meanwhile, Dawn Michael, a couples therapist and clinical sexologist who used to teach classes on how to handle a remodeling project as a couple, told Houzz that it helps to sit down together and look at pictures of different homes. That way, you get a sense of what the other person likes and dislikes.

Another exercise that Michael shared with Houzz: Each person writes down 10 home-design ideas and exchanges them with their partner. Then, each partner circles ideas that are similar, checks the ones they can compromise on, and crosses out the ideas they can't stand.

Perhaps the best antidote to home renovation-related strife is simply to prepare for it in advance. Know that the process may contribute to conflict between you and your partner, and think about potential ways to mitigate the stress.

As Sussman put it, "If you're a healthy couple and it's just the stress, you get through it. You apologize. You try to keep your eye on the big picture [and say], 'This is going to be good for us.'"

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• Highly empathetic people may be "caretakers."
• These people have a lot of sympathy for others, but often don't take care of themselves.
• Toxic people like narcissists attract caretakers because they have so much to give.
• One way to stop the cycle is to have a strong support system of people around you.
• This Valentine's Day, make sure you remember to take care of yourself too.

There's no end of different qualities that people find alluring about each other, but some particular types of people are attracted to each other like moths to flames.

If you have very high levels of empathy for others, you might be at risk of attracting somebody toxic.

According to therapist Margalis Fjelstad, sometimes people care about others to the detriment of themselves — she calls these people "caretakers" in her book "Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On."

"It is a person who is focusing all of their energy to taking care of the emotional needs of someone else," Fjelstad told Business Insider. "And giving up, quite honestly, on their own emotional needs in order to do that."

Someone who is a caretaker is naturally very easy going and flexible, as well as being highly empathetic and caring.

"They're always looking for someone they can help," Fjelstad said. "So that makes them terribly attractive to someone who is emotionally focused on themselves... someone who is so self-focused they don't really have a lot of energy to give someone else, except sporadically."

Fjelstad came up with the term because there is a magnetic attraction between people who are caretakers and those who have a desperate need to be taken care of, such as narcissists.

A caretaker will be willing to put up with the kind of push and pull behaviour of a narcissist, when they have good days and bad days. An empathetic and caring person will think: "I'm so sorry you're having a bad day, let me help you."

It can be exhausting

Caretakers often find themselves exhausted by their relationships, because they over-give all the time, Fjelstad said. You can never give narcissists enough, so they're always asking for more. This triggers caretakers to believe they are selfish, always trying to do more and more, and ending up feeling very depleted.

As for how they got this way, it depends. Some people are born with these traits, and others learn them from their upbringing. For example, some people are raised by parents who are very self-focused — maybe with a substance abuse problem or a mental health issue — and thus they work out they have to take care of their parent to survive.

According to Lisa Aronson Fontes, a psychologist and author of "Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship," most girls are raised to be caretakers.

"Even when we raise our daughters to have a career and strive for economic independence, we typically also raise them to take care of other's needs," she told Business Insider.

"Girls become acutely aware of the moods of those around them, and feel responsible for making others feel happy. Girls feel responsible for meeting others' needs, whereas boys are typically raised to get their own needs met. From the start, this creates a gender imbalance in a relationship, which is one of several reasons why women are much more likely to be abused by their partners than men."

Once they are out of the toxic relationship, one way caretakers can stop the cycle is by making sure they have a strong support system of people around them.

For a long time they may have been isolated from others by their controlling partner, so to avoid getting into this situation again, they need to learn they have a right to be who they are, and have people in their life who care about them.

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