Why is it we click with some people and not others? What if we could actually click with everyone we meet? What would it take?

Try these simple steps to instantly connect with anyone— and to build stronger relationships with the people who are already in your life:

Take a genuine interest.

Everyone — everyone — has something unique to offer. Find out what makes people who they are. Hear their story. Ask questions. Dig deep and connect.

Build on common ground.

At its most basic level, any relationship is built on some kind of common ground. When you meet someone, try to find something that connects you to similar backgrounds, values experiences. When you detect a pattern, a "Yeah, me too!" moment, connection is instantaneous.

Smile.

"Smile and the whole world smiles with you." Sure, it's a cliche, but for good reason. A smile generates enthusiasm and interest; it communicates friendliness and goodwill; it shows you to be accessible and approachable. Smile when you speak to someone, as you walk into a room, and when you pick up the phone.

Remember names.

Notice how people introduce themselves and let that be your guide in addressing them. Remembering a person's name is important, and using it occasionally in conversation creates connection and helps you remember.

Encourage people to talk.

The key to locking into any relationship is to invite someone to talk, and then listen. Most people are just waiting for the other person to finish so they can say their part. Listen and show interest, even if it means stretching your attention span.

Learn from everyone you meet.

Keep the focus on the other person. As a bonus, this prevents your being dragged into gossip. Stay focused on his or her interests; find something this person can teach you that will be useful or interesting to know.

Show up with enthusiasm.

People who live with passion find it easier to connect with others. Knowing what you really care about and why lets you tap into your own enthusiasm. Upbeat people are inherently likable, and those who radiate enthusiasm tend to click with others.

Make others feel important.

Use your words and attitude to create a spotlight. Let the person you're speaking with know he or she is important, and important to you, by the way you talk. Let the sound of your voice be energized. Ask for input. Ask for advice. Ask for help. Ask for insight. Ask for experience. All of these invitations tell the person, "I find you important."

Look for the good.

Be generous with others; look for points of agreement and places where you can affirm or reinforce what they're saying. Speak patiently and with care, and those around you will feel heard and appreciated.

Treat others as you want to be treated.

As often as we've heard this, it's still easy to forget to do it from time to time. Don't overthink or complicate it: The power is in the simplicity.

Connecting with others does not take much. It is truly simple. Just be mindful, thoughtful, and genuinely interested.

Offer an honest compliment or your authentic appreciation. There's always something to appreciate about almost anyone.

Maybe it's nothing more than being genuine, as simple as being a leader — or a person — who cares, because when you care, you'll instantly click with everyone you meet.

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Falling in love is like a drug.

It's a phase marked by "intense feelings of attraction and ecstasy," Scientific American writes. You idealize your partner, everything is easy and effortless, you love, and you feel loved in return. Your similarities are limitless, and your differences are celebrated. 

"But then life happens," says relationship psychologist Peter Pearson. "You start living with somebody, and the differences you didn't see when you lived separately and only saw each other on your best behavior begin to show up." 

Friction begins. Your tolerance level for messiness might be different from your partner's, or they might have a different way of relating to time from yours. It turns out that you don't have "one life," nor are you "one unit." You are indeed two separate individuals.

Differentiation is the process of dealing with that unavoidable fact. 

In another interview, Pearson's wife and Couples Institute cofounder Ellyn Bader described how the high-tension phase of differentiation works: 

People have to come to terms with the reality that "we really are different people. You are different from who I thought you were or wanted you to be. We have different ideas, different feelings, different interests." 

Differentiation has two components. There is self-differentiation: "This is who I am and what I want." This refers to the development of an independent sense of self: to know what I want, think, feel, desire ... 

The second involves differentiation from the other. When this is successful, the members of the couple have the capacity to be separate from each other and involved at the same time.

While it's part of a "healthy evolution" of a relationship, Pearson says, differentiation certainly doesn't feel good at first. It's a long process of working through differences and bringing up when those differences are bugging you.

It requires some counterintuitive communication skills — namely, expressing curiosity. 

Pearson gives an example from earlier in his and Bader's marriage. Bader has always been neater than he is, and that difference started showing itself when they were living together; he often left his shoes and newspapers in disarray. 

In such a situation, you need some very careful questions. When your wife tells you that you're a slob, instead of getting defensive, you need to get inquisitive. 

"Curiosity is counterintuitive," Pearson says. It's important to ask precise, thoughtful questions, like: How does my being a slob affect you? How much of a slob am I on your slob scale? When I leave things out, what does that symbolize toyou? 

The answers grant greater understanding of your partner's perspective. 

Pearson says three qualities will help you get there: patience, curiosity, and a willingness to tolerate tension. You need to have patience with yourself and your partner, because there are going to be some stumbles. You need to be curious, because that's how you begin to understand who your partner is as an individual. And you need to tolerate tension, because things get tense when you bring up differences. 

But when you make it to the other side, you'll have a more resilient, mature relationship. Like Bader says, you can be separate from each other — and involved at the same time. 

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Every couple disagrees, but there are healthy and unhealthy ways to argue.

The silent treatment may be a common response to conflict in relationships, but it is also one of the most destructive, according to a paper published last year in the journal Communication Monographs. The analysis examined 74 studies that looked at the effects of an overarching behavior called the demand-withdrawal pattern.

The silent treatment is one form of "withdrawal" in a demand-withdrawal pattern, which occurs when one person asks or demands something, for example attention or affection, and their partner rejects these requests by refusing to engage or ceasing communication all together.

"Marital therapists and clinicians have been dealing with this issue since the 1930s, but ... it has only been since the late 80s that researchers have studied it," Texas Christian University professor Paul Schrodt, the study's lead researcher, told Business Insider in an email. "And most of the research that we cited mentioned it as a pervasive and/or common struggle for married partners."

Schrodt's study shows that demand-withdrawal, including the silent treatment, can lead to relationship dissatisfaction and even be a factor in divorce. "The more polarized the partners become, the more difficult it is for them to stop engaging in the behaviors," Schrodt told The Wall Street Journal, where we first learned about the study.

Past research has shown that, compared to other couples, those who practice the silent treatment are:

• less satisfied with their relationship
• less intimate with one another
• poorer communicators with their partners

It's a bad habit that must be abandoned if a relationship is going to thrive.

Why We Go Silent

"The silent treatment is caused by a combination of hurt feelings and an inability or unwillingness to talk about them," Tina Gilbertson, who was not involved with the study, told The Chicago Tribune. Gilbertson is a counselor in Portland, Oregon and author of "Constructive Wallowing: How To Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them."

Schrodt's analysis encompassed studies on over 14,000 participants. In heterosexual relationships, he found, women were usually (though not always) the demanders while men were the ones who tended to withdraw from their partner's demands, or responded with silence.

The person giving the silent treatment and the person receiving it should both take some responsibility, Schrodt told The Wall Street Journal. One thing that couples tend to do, he said, is to blame the other person for the situation, which will in no way help resolve the conflict.

What's worse is that the person receiving the silent treatment will grow increasingly frustrated by the lack of response, which will lead to even more demands that in turn frustrates their partner who withdraws even further.

"It becomes a vicious cycle," Sean Horan, an assistant professor of communication at Texas State University, told The Wall Street Journal. "Soon you're no longer addressing the issue at hand. You start arguing about arguing."

Breaking The Cycle

Practicing the silent treatment is a bad habit for couples, and it also places an unnecessary amount of emotional and physical stress on individuals.

In a handful of studies that Schrodt and his colleagues examined, researchers found an association between couples who practice demand-withdrawal patterns and individuals who suffer from anxiety, depression, alcohol and drug use, mental health symptoms, and even physiological changes. 

Schrodt has advice on how to break the bad habit of demand-withdrawal patterns like the silent treatment, including:

• Talk with your partner if you feel like you're beginning to give them the silent treatment or you think they're giving you the silent treatment.
• Agree to take time to cool down and then come back to discuss what's triggering the conflict when you're both calm and willing to listen to on another.
• When talking it out, avoid offensive language like "selfish,""rude," and "uncaring."
• Acknowledge the role you play in the silent treatment and recognize how your actions could explain the undesirable behavior of you partner.

SEE ALSO: Scientists Discovered The 2 Personality Traits For Lasting Relationships

READ MORE: Here's The Big Problem With The Idea Of 'Falling' In Love

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As long as monogamy has existed, so has cheating. What makes people stray from the ones they love? We wanted to find out specifically what drives men to be unfaithful.

We talked to a leading expert on the topic, M. Gary Neuman, a psychotherapist and the author of "The Neuman Method" and "The Truth About Cheating." Through his research, Neuman found that the main reason men cheat has little to do with sex or physical attraction.

Produced by Graham Flanagan. Camera by Devan Joseph.

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NEW YORK (Reuters) - From scientific studies to sitcoms, society portrays men as wired to prefer sexual flings and spurn commitment, and evolution wanted it that way.

In a study published on Tuesday, anthropologists present evidence that male promiscuity is not a human universal wired into the brain by evolution. Instead, mating strategies are flexible, responding to circumstances such as gender ratios.

In short, when women are scarce, men prefer long-term committed relationships, said Ryan Schacht of the University of Utah, who led the study published in Royal Society Open Science. And women, contrary to stereotype, can be just as interested in one-night stands.

The idea that evolution shaped men to be Lotharios seemed solidly grounded in theory. The more women a man had sex with, and the less he tied himself to one woman and their children, goes the argument, the more offspring to whom he would pass on his genes, the measure of evolutionary success. In experiments, male college students typically said they preferred flings to commitment, leading to the claim that the behavior was wired in by evolution.

Schacht and Monique Borgerhoff Mulder of the University of California, Davis, tested that idea in the Makushi, Amerindians of Guyana. In the eight communities they examined, the ratio of adult men to women varied from 1.43 to 0.93.

The more men outnumbered women, the less likely they were to fit stereotypical, flings-over-commitment behavior.

That makes evolutionary sense, Schacht said. For one thing, commitment increases the number of "mating opportunities" men have compared to when they have to keep attracting new partners.

"The best strategy is to find one woman and stick with her," Schacht said. Infidelity and promiscuity defeat that.

In addition, while natural selection favors behaviors that increase a man's number of children, it favors even more strongly behaviors that maximize those who grow up and become parents themselves. That is more likely, Schacht said, when men stick around to protect and provide rather than moving from fling to fling.

A prominent proponent of evolutionary psychology, the field associated with the idea that men are wired for one-night stands, said the new findings "largely comport well" with findings of evolutionary psychologists. Contrary to stereotypes, said David Buss of the University of Texas, "no one has argued that 'men are ardent and women coy.'" Which mating strategy men adopt "depends heavily on context."

(Reporting by Sharon Begley; Editing by Lisa Shumaker)

READ MORE: Why You Should Never Give Your Partner The Silent Treatment

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Popular wisdom and established evolutionary science hold that the sexes seek fundamentally different relationships: men want short-term, no-strings-attached relationships whereas women value longer-term, loyal partnerships.

The explanation generally comes down to biological differences between men and women. Because women invest more in reproduction than men do – think pregnancy, morning sickness and stretchmarks – being picky becomes important because choosing poorly can be costly, even devastating. However, for men, reproduction may only entail a brief sexual liaison and a bit of sperm – there are potentially no long-term costs. This calculus has been built into our psychology, many argue.

Think about it more carefully, though. Where do all the women sleeping with these guys come from? Shouldn't it be difficult for men to find so many willing partners? As theorist Hanna Kokko noted, it takes two to tango.

If we go by the numbers, in a group with an equal number of both sexes, it is impossible, on average, for men to have more partners than women. So why do we expect male psychology to be so hellbent on one-night stands? And why, clearly in opposition to this notion, are many men often so devotedly paternal?

Here's where an established body of literature in sociology and demography – called mating market theory (MMT) – can help out. According to MMT, relationship preferences are expected to follow not simply from these fixed biological propensities, but also to be heavily influenced by partner availability.

If we think of the number of men and women in market terms, namely supply and demand, the rarer sex has more bargaining power in the market place. Individuals of the less numerous sex are more likely to get their way because they are awash with options. In theory, they can, if not pleased with a relationship, or terms therein, easily replace a disappointing partner.

The more abundant sex, by contrast, has fewer outside options and must cater to the preferences of the rarer sex. For example, when there are extra women, men face a favorable market and can behave promiscuously, offering little parental investment to their mates. However, when women are in short supply, they can demand relationship faithfulness and commitment – with men responding because female partners are rare and therefore a valued resource. And if he's out on the prowl, so may she be!

In order to evaluate these ideas empirically, we worked with an Amerindian population in southwestern Guyana, the Makushi. The Makushi offer striking juxtapositions of the traditional and modern world. Bows line a house's walls and arrows are stuck into the thatched roof, ready to be pulled out at a moment's notice to make a meal of a passing deer or peccary, while round the back a group of villagers are transfixed by the village's lone TV and DVD player, powered by an old car battery.

While the Makushi traditionally relied on processing the bitter tuber cassava, fishing and hunting to feed their families, recent access to the market economy has led to differing numbers of men and women leaving communities in search of paid labor. This migration produces quite strong sex-ratio variation across communities.

We selected eight communities of varying sex ratios and interviewed 300 men and women. One set of questions specifically targeted relationship preferences with questions like 'how many partners have you had in the last year?' and 'do you enjoy casual sex?' These are sensitive inquiries, but we administered them only after developing rapport through living in the villages of study and, of course, using same-sex interviewers.

Two findings emerged from our analysis. First, if we simply look to differences between men and women, we find support for biological expectations. On average, men were more interested in uncommitted sexual relationships than women were.

But if we look to how the responses of men and women are influenced by the sex ratio, some interesting patterns emerged. When women were abundant, men were the cads we often expect them to be. They had many sexual partners, and yet still wanted more!

However, as the sex ratio became more male-biased, men's interest in short-term relationships waned. In fact, in the communities with the most surplus men, men's and women's preferences were indistinguishable - both men and women desired long-term, committed relationships with a single partner. In these places, we saw no evidence of simple, biological sex differences – when women were rare, men's preferences were indistinguishable from women's. So in some communities sex wasn't a useful predictor of behavior and in fact told us nothing about a person's preferences!

The evolutionary social sciences have only recently begun exploring the effects of frequency-dependent dynamics on reproductive decision-making, and here we show the usefulness of moving away from simple biological models of behavior.

The take home point is this: context matters. Yes, men and women likely employ different strategies to find partners because of biological differences, but these strategies are strongly affected by partner availability.

Yes, women do face steeper reproductive costs than men and this may constrain their willingness to engage in short-term relationships. However, men may also face steep reproductive costs that may constrain their interest in a casual fling because if they were to do so, they could lose what they have at home.

Just looking to sex does not adequately explain the rich tapestry of factors that influence reproductive decision making – in Makushi society and closer to home too. Different US regions are also home to variable sex ratios. Generally speaking, both rural areas and western states have more men than women. These male biased-sex ratios are associated with higher rates of marriage and relationship stability, and lower rates of female-headed households and children born out of wedlock. These findings, along with our Makushi study, all point to the strong commitment men make to relationships when partners are scarce, challenging simple sexual stereotypes.

This article was originally published on The Conversation. Read the original article.

SEE ALSO: Scientists Discovered The Two Personality Traits For Lasting Relationships

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In 2008, Mónica Taher and her partner of 13 years bought a house in Los Angeles.

Two years later, Taher's partner moved out and stopped paying her share of the mortgage.

"It was of the utmost importance to me to keep the house because of my daughter," Taher explains of her now 16-year-old. "I was doing anything in my power to keep normalcy for her both emotionally and physically — just being here in place where she was used to."

To do that, she had to buy her partner out of the house. "She was threatening to sell, and because we were both on the title, I had to comply," Taher says.

"There was a lot of back and forth in regards to how much money I had to pay for her initial investment, as well as the appliances and everything inside the house that we bought together," she remembers. "I literally made a list of all the things still in the house she was claiming I still needed to pay her for and put a value to it. I considered depreciation and the price we paid when we got them."

Ultimately, after consulting with a lawyer and negotiating via email for about a year, they settled on a sum — one that didn't include the $5,000 that Taher noticed her partner had quietly taken from their joint account before leaving. While Taher didn't want to share the exact number they decided on, she says it was less than six figures.

Still, it gave her pause. "I really didn't think I'd be able to save the house," she says. "The amount wasn't huge — it was the going back and forth, the negotiating. I was figuring out how to lower that amount as much as I could because I was using my life savings to pay her back."

Laying out a lump sum and being solely responsible for the mortgage going forward gave Taher an urgency about her money that she had never had before. She managed not to dip into her retirement accounts and was able to retain some emergency savings, and she says that was in part due to a well-timed stroke of luck: A promotion to partner at Getty Images Latin America — a position she still holds — that gave her a 50% raise.

The other part was her newfound conscientiousness about money. "I was counting every single penny — and when I say penny, I mean every penny, not dollar!" Taher remembers. "I had a budget that I would refer to every week, and I was really thorough about staying within it. If I didn't have the money to go to the movies, I didn't go to the movies. It was more important to pay for gas."

Taher started reading about personal finance online, a habit she retains today, and trimming her expenses where possible. She traded her BMW for a Toyota Corolla, then started doing some of her commuting by bike, and eventually most of it by scooter.

"The money I was spending to put gas in my Beemer in two days alone, I used to pay for gas in my scooter for two and a half weeks," she says.

She cancelled her gym membership, and became conscious about expenses such as watering her lawn and leaving the lights on when she didn't need them.

Taher estimates that it took her about two and a half years to get back on her feet. She says that four years after her partner moved out, she still keeps a close eye on her budget, especially now that she's starting a company called ClipYap, which will allow people to converse through TV and movie GIFs on the app. 

"The reality is, at the end of the day, my story is not about me being a victim," she reflects. "It's about me being resilient and learning about becoming financially literate and turning that around in order to tell my story in the hopes that I can help other women, gay or straight, who might be in the same boat, or who are stable in a marriage but haven't thought, 'What's going to happen to me if my partner leaves?' It can happen to anybody."

"I do not regret the experience because it led me to the life I'm leading now, which is more fulfilling," she continues. "And being aware of my money made me realize I needed this shakeup to be in control of my finances."

SEE ALSO: 8 Steps I Used To Pay Off $81,000 Of Debt In Less Than 3 Years

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Editor's Note: This article has been lightly edited from its original version.

In my life, I have given a d--- about many people and many things. I have also not given a d--- about many people and many things. And those d---s I have not given have made all the difference.

People often say the key to confidence and success in life is to simply "not give a d---." Indeed, we often refer to the strongest, most admirable people we know in terms of their lack of d---s given.

Like, "Oh, look at Susie working weekends again, she doesn't give a d---." Or, "Did you hear that Tom called the company president an asshole and still got a raise anyway? Holy s---, that dude does not give a d---." Or, "Jason got up and ended his date with Cindy after 20 minutes. He said he wasn't going to listen to her bulls--- anymore. Man, that guy does not give a d---."

Chances are you know somebody in your life who, at one time or another, did not give a d--- and went on to accomplish amazing feats. Perhaps there was a time in your life where you simply did not give a d--- and excelled to some extraordinary heights.

I know for myself, quitting my day job in finance after only six weeks and telling my boss that I was going to start selling dating advice online ranks pretty high up there in my own "didn't give a d---" hall of fame. Same with deciding to sell most of my possessions and move to South America. D---s given? None. Just went and did it.

Now, while not giving a d--- may seem simple on the surface, it's a whole new bag of burritos under the hood. I don't even know what that sentence means, but I don't give a d---. A bag of burritos sounds awesome, so let's just go with it.

The point is, most of us struggle throughout our lives by giving too many d---s in situations where d---s do not deserve to be given. We give a d--- about the rude gas station attendant who gave us too many nickels. We give a d--- when a show we liked was canceled on TV. We give a d--- when our coworkers don't bother asking us about our awesome weekend. We give a d--- when it's raining and we were supposed to go jogging in the morning.

D---s given everywhere. And for what purpose? For what reason? Convenience? Easy comforts? A pat on the d--- back maybe?

This is the problem, my friend.

Because when we give too many d---s, when we choose to give a d--- about everything, then we feel as though we are perpetually entitled to feel comfortable and happy at all times, that's when life d---s us.

Indeed, the ability to reserve our d---s for only the most d---worthy of situations would surely make life a hell of a lot easier. Failure would be less terrifying. Rejection less painful. Unpleasant necessities more pleasant and the unsavory s--- sandwiches a little bit more savory. I mean, if we could only give a few less d---s, or a few more consciously-directed d---s, then life would feel pretty d--- easy.

What we don't realize is that there is a fine art of non-d----giving. People aren't just born not giving a d---. In fact, we're born giving way too many d---s. Ever watch a kid cry his eyes out because his hat is the wrong shade of blue? Exactly. D--- kid.

Developing the ability to control and manage the d---s you give is the essence of strength and integrity. We must craft and hone our lack of d---ery over the course of years and decades. Like a fine wine, our d---s must age into a fine vintage, only uncorked and given on the most special occasions.

This may sound easy. But it is not. Most of us, most of the time, get sucked in by life's mean trivialities, steamrolled by its unimportant dramas; we live and die by the sidenotes and distractions and vicissitudes that suck the d---s out of us.

This is no way to live, man. Get your d---s together. 

Subtlety #1: Not giving a d--- does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.

When most people envision giving no d---s whatsoever, they envision a kind of perfect and serene indifference to everything, a calm that weathers all storms.

This is misguided. There's absolutely nothing admirable or confident about indifference. People who are indifferent are lame and scared. They're couch potatoes and internet trolls. In fact, indifferent people often attempt to be indifferent because in reality they actually give too many d---s.

They are afraid of the world and the repercussions of their own choices. Therefore, they make none. They hide in a grey emotionless pit of their own making, self-absorbed and self-pitied, perpetually distracting themselves from this unfortunate thing demanding their time and energy called life.

My mother was recently screwed out of a large chunk of money by a close friend of hers. Had I been indifferent, I would have shrugged my shoulders, sipped some mocha and downloaded another season of "The Wire." Sorry, mom.

But instead, I was indignant. I was pissed off. I said, "No, screw that mom, we're going to lawyer up and go after this asshole. Why? Because I don't give a d---. I will ruin this guy's life if I have to."

This illustrates the first subtlety about not giving a d---. When we say, "D---, watch out, Mark Manson just don't give a d---," we don't mean that Mark Manson doesn't care about anything; on the contrary, what we mean is that Mark Manson doesn't care about adversity in the face of his goals, he doesn't care about pissing some people off to do what he feels is right or important or noble.

What we mean is that Mark Manson is the type of guy who would write about himself in third person and use the word "d---" in an article over 100 times just because he thought it was the right thing to do. He just doesn't give a d---.

This is what is so admirable — no, not me — the overcoming adversity stuff. The staring failure in the face and shoving your middle finger back at it. The people who don't give a d--- about adversity or failure or embarrassing themselves or s---ting the bed a few times. The people who just laugh and then do it anyway. Because they know it's right. They know it's more important than them and their own feelings and their own pride and their own needs.

They say "d--- it," not to everything in life, but rather they say "d--- it" to everything unimportant in life. They reserve their d---s for what truly matters. Friends. Family. Purpose. Burritos. And an occasional lawsuit or two. And because of that, because they reserve their d---s for only the big things, the important things, people give a d--- about them in return.

Subtlety #2: To not give a d--- about adversity, you must first give a d--- about something more important than adversity.

Eric Hoffer once wrote: "A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business."

The problem with people who hand out d---s like ice cream at a god--- summer camp is that they don't have anything more d---worthy to dedicate their d---s to.

Think for a second. You're at a grocery store. And there's an elderly lady screaming at the cashier, berating him for not accepting her 30-cent coupon. Why does this lady give a d---? It's just 30 cents.

Well, I'll tell you why. That old lady probably doesn't have anything better to do with her days than to sit at home cutting out coupons all morning. She's old and lonely. Her kids are d---heads and never visit. She hasn't had sex in over 30 years. Her pension is on its last legs and she's probably going to die in a diaper thinking she's in Candyland. She can't fart without extreme lower back pain. She can't even watch TV for more than 15 minutes without falling asleep or forgetting the main plotline.

So she snips coupons. That's all she's got. It's her and her d--- coupons. All day, every day. It's all she can give a d--- about because there is nothing else to give a d--- about. And so when that pimply-faced 17-year-old cashier refuses to accept one of them, when he defends his cash register's purity the way knights used to defend maidens' virginities, you can d--- well bet granny is going to erupt and verbally hulk smash his d--- face in. Eighty years of d---s will rain down all at once, like a fiery hailstorm of "back in my day" and "people used to show more respect" stories, boring the world around her to tears in her creaking and wobbly voice.

If you find yourself consistently giving too many d---s about trivial s--- that bothers you — your ex-girlfriend's new Facebook picture, how quickly the batteries die in the TV remote, missing out on yet another 2-for-1 sale on hand sanitizer — chances are you don't have much going on in your life to give a legitimate d--- about. And that's your real problem. Not the hand sanitizer.

Way too many d---s given.

In life, our d---s must be spent on something. There really is no such thing as not giving a d---. The question is simply how we each choose to allot our d---s. You only get a limited amount of d---s to give over your lifetime, so you must spend them with care.

As my father used to say, "D---s don't grow on trees, Mark." OK, he never actually said that. But d--- it, pretend like he did. The point is that d---s have to be earned and then invested wisely.

Subtlety #3: We all have a limited number of d---s to give; pay attention to where and who you give them to.

When we're young, we have tons of energy. Everything is new and exciting. And everything seems to matter so much. Therefore, we give tons of d---s. We give a d--- about everything and everyone — about what people are saying about us, about whether that cute boy/girl called us back or not, about whether our socks match or not or what color our birthday balloon is.

As we get older, we gain experience and begin to notice that most of these things have little lasting impact on our lives. Those people's opinions we cared about so much before have long been removed from our lives. We've found the love we need and so those embarrassing romantic rejections cease to mean much anymore. We realize how little people pay attention to the superficial details about us and we focus on doing things more for ourselves rather than for others.

Bunk Moreland, not giving a d--- since 2002.

Essentially, we become more selective about the d---s we're willing to give. This is something called "maturity." It's nice, you should try it sometime. Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a d--- about what's truly d---worthy. As Bunk Moreland said in "The Wire" (which, d--- you, I still downloaded it) to his partner Detective McNulty: "That's what you get for giving a d--- when it wasn't your turn to give a d---."

Then, as we grow older and enter middle age, something else begins to change. Our energy levels drop. Our identities solidify. We know who we are and we no longer have a desire to change what now seems inevitable in our lives.

And in a strange way, this is liberating. We no longer need to give a d--- about everything. Life is just what it is. We accept it, warts and all. We realize that we're never going to cure cancer or go to the moon. And that's OK. Life goes on. We now reserve our ever-dwindling d---s only for the most truly d---worthy parts of our lives: our families, our best friends, our golf swing. And to our astonishment, this is enough. This simplification actually makes us really d--- happy.

Then somehow, one day, much later, we wake up and we're old. And along with our gum lines and our sex drive, our ability to give a d--- has receded to the point of non-existence. In the twilight of our days, we carry out a paradoxical existence where we no longer have the energy to give a d--- about the big things in life, and instead we must dedicate the few d---s we have left to the simple and mundane yet increasingly difficult aspects of our lives: where to eat lunch, doctors appointments for our creaky joints, 30-cent discounts at the supermarket, and driving without drifting to sleep and killing a parking lot full of orphans. You know, practical concerns.

Then one day, on our deathbed, (hopefully) surrounded by the people we gave the majority of our d---s to throughout our life, and those few who still give a d--- about us, with a silent gasp we will gently let our last d--- go. Through the tears and the gently fading beeps of the heart monitor and the ever-dimming fluorescence encapsulating us in its divine hospital halo, we drift into some unknowable and und---able place. 

SEE ALSO: 6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Healthy

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While technology has made it more convenient to keep in touch with the outside world, and even become re-acquainted with long-lost friends, it has also changed how we define relationships.

Someone with 1,000 Facebook friends may think they're a rock star. But, how many of those "friends" would be there to support them when they start a business or go through a personal crisis?

I've learned that the more successful you are at relationships with your family, friends and customers; the more successful you will be in life with all of them.

Because of the hustle and bustle of the 21st century, it's even more important than ever to have these meaningful types of relationships.

Want to know how to achieve that? Follow these 25 tips.

1. Be happy with yourself.

You may have heard this one before, and there is a reason for that - it remains the best place to start. As Michelle Maros so elegantly puts it in, Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life, "Your relationships outside will flounder if you don't have unconditional love and compassion for yourself."

2. Learn to listen and understand.

Throughout your life you've probably dealt with this problem. Your parents never listened. Your spouse never listens. Your boss just doesn't understand, or listen. George P.H. notes in, Pick The Brain, that we can connect with people simply by listening to them, hearing them out without interruption, and doing our best to understand where they're coming from.

3. Take the punch.

You can't always take things personally. We all have bad days where we freak out, vent, or scream at those around us. My wife Kristy Rampton always tells me "There are few things in life less selfless than taking a punch every now and then from people who are having a bad day. Sometimes people just need to vent."

Get amnesia concerning the outbursts of others.

4. Follow-up.

If you feel like you've hit it off with someone, professionally or personally, don't wait for them to get in touch with you. If you believe that there's potential for a new relationship, then make sure that you follow-up. Keith Ferrazzi, author of "Never Eat Alone," suggests that you should follow-up within 48 hours of the first meeting.

Related: The Key to Success? Relationships.

5. Be positive.

Here's a quick question. Would you rather spend time with someone who is a downer or someone who is upbeat? Barbara Fredrickson, a psychologist at the University of North Carolina, backs up the obvious by stating, in Psychology Today, that positive emotions help us "broaden and build" relationships.

6. Grab lunch.

We're all busy, but are you too busy to stop and eat? Probably not. Relationship expert Nate Bagley from Loveumentary believes that you should "make the time" to schedule a lunch with friend, acquaintance or family member. This action will yield great benefits.

7. Don't be someone else.

I love this headline from Adrian Savage in, LifeHack: "If you can't trust yourself, why should others trust you?"

8. Take inventory of the relationships you have.

Some relationships are meant to be last for a long time. Other relationships may just linger because it's familiar and feels safe. Take an inventory of the relationships and see which ones you would like to hang onto and the ones you can let go. Letting go of unnecessary relationships opens up the opportunity to let new relationships into you life.

9. Pick up the phone.

Texts, email and Facebook comments are great every now and then, but there's nothing like having an actual conversation with someone. Don't hesitate to pick-up the phone and give your friend or peer a call to check-in and see how they're doing. I have found that it is a good idea to be respectful of the other person's time. The actual conversation does not have to be lengthy.

I do this daily with college Peter Daisyme. Peter has worked across the country from me for the past four years, yet we've had daily conversations and sold two companies together. Take the time to pick up the phone or Skype chat that friend. It'll go a long ways to maintaining and fostering strong relationships.

10. Find common interests.

It could be the same sports team, band, movie, job or extreme sport. No matter how big or small, finding a common interest is one of the best ways to establish a meaningful relationship.

11. Pay it forward.

You should want to give others something because you want to. Not because you have to. If you know someone who happens to be a great web-designer and you have another acquaintance who is need of a designer, then why not introduce them to each other? Did you run across an unusual shot glass that would fit in your friend's collection? Could you quickly purchase it?

Related: The Women Behind Networking Platform Be Moxie Want to Pay It Forward

12. Don't wait to be asked for help.

If you know that a colleague, friend or family member needs some sort of help, then jump in and offer your assistance before they ask. For example, if you know that they're moving and you have the time, you can offer to help, even if your body will hate it the next day.

13. Learn to trust others.

Even if you were hurt by someone in the past, either professionally or personally, you have to learn to trust again. As George P.H. so bluntly puts it "ALL relationships – family, business, platonic – require trust."

14. Be clear on what you want.

None of us like feeling disappointed. But, did you ever stop and think that maybe you didn't get your needs filled because you didn't specify what you really wanted? Even if it seems uncomfortable, always be honest in what you want or need.

15. Understand what's really being asked.

Here's another piece of advice from Steve Boyer. He suggests that "people will always ask different questions than the one they really want to be answered." For example, an "employees typically ask how to be more successful when all they really want is to get a raise or promotion." In other words, there a larger question waiting to be answered behind that initial question.

16. Respond quickly.

While you don't have access to your phone or computer 24/7, there's a good probability that you will at some point sooner than later. If someone emails or texts you a question or inquiry, respond to them ASAP. Wouldn't you rather be known as the speedy responder than the person who never gets back?

17. Set calendar reminders.

We're all busy bees, so it's easy to lose contact with friends, colleagues, family members and acquaintances. To avoid a problem, use a set-up calendar reminder so that you can schedule a time to touch base with the people in life.

18. Identify and avoid interpersonal pitfalls.

There are plenty of qualities that can be detrimental to a relationship. The Counseling Center at the University of Texas lists the following:

• Having unrealistic expectations of yourself, the other person, or the relationship in general.
• Coming too close too soon, physically or psychologically.
• Being negative about self, the relationship or life.
• Being a rescuer, a martyr, a savior or a "perfect" person.
• Trying to change the other person to suit your needs.
• Being too self-centered, judgmental or always "right".
• Stockpiling strong feelings - anger, pain, sadness, neediness - and then pouring them all out at once.
• Expecting the other person to be a mind reader, a fixer or always a rock of stability for you.

If you notice any of these tendencies in yourself, think about trying to change them. You may even need to get help from someone you trust so that you can avoid the inclination from going any further.

Related: 4 Ways to Build Trust Quickly

19. Don't be judgmental.

Just because someone acts a certain way, behaves in ways we wouldn't allow ourselves to or has differing opinions, it doesn't mean that they're beneath you, or less than you. Instead of passing judgment, why not ask them questions to find out why they have those opinions and interests. Besides learning something new, you may discover that you're not that different after all.

20. Pick your locations and activities wisely.

Heading out to the bar to meet new friends sounds great in theory, maybe. But, you'll most likely develop bar buddies. Are those really the people you can seriously rely on? While there's nothing wrong with have acquaintances, try to spend time in places where there will be people with similar interests. If you're into books, for example, then why not join a book club?

21. Be patient.

Building and maintaining a relationship takes time. During that time, you're going to need patience to help cope with the daily frustrations of life. If you don't have the patience to deal with life's little aggravations, then how can you expect to have a durable relationship?

22. Make eye contact.

Research has long proven that "people who make eye contact are perceived as more, "likable and trustworthy." Dr. Atsushi Senju tells the New York Times that, "A richer mode of communication is possible right after making eye contact."

23. Don't mumble.

Communication is a big part of relationships. So, why would you want to make conversations awkward or confusing because you can't be understood? In case you weren't aware, mumbling is also a "sign of covert anger, resentment, disrespect, or sadness."

24. Laugh.

In case you weren't aware, laughter is extremely contagious. Besides being beneficial for your overall health, it can also "strengthen our relationships by triggering positive feelings and fostering emotional connection." Also, take an opportunity to laugh at yourself sometime.

25. Let it go.

Pick your battles wisely. Even if you disagree with someone or have the need to tell them "I told you so," it's best to move on and let it go. No one wants to hear a lecture.

SEE ALSO: Science Says Doing These 3 Simple Things Will Make You More Charismatic

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Wondering whether your relationship will go the distance?

Ask a friend.

That may sound counterintuitive. After all, you presumably have more information about your own romantic relationship than your college roommate, say. But you are also terribly biased.

Research has shown that each of us has a rosy view of our own relationship. Your friends, on the other hand, may be better able to see it for what it is.

A friend's perceptions of your romantic union, at least one study has found, are actually better than yours at predicting the fate of your relationship.

A Beautiful Illusion

Most of us harbor positive illusions about the people closest to us, especially those central to our own identities — like a romantic partner. In many ways, this isn't a bad thing: In fact, people who idealize their partners tend to have longer-lasting relationships.

But such a rosy view might also "cloud their judgement and influence their perceptions,"a team of psychologists from Purdue University and Southern Methodist University wrote in 2001. The result? People in love "predict that their relationship will last longer than it actually does."

For better or for worse, however, your friends are generally less invested in your relationship than you are, and therefore less likely to be biased in how they see it. Fortunately, you can use their expertise to your advantage.

Auspicious Beginnings?

In that 2001 study, Christopher Agnew, Timothy Loving, and Stephen Drigotas acknowledged that people are not so great at predicting how their own relationships turn out, and designed an experiment to find out whether people's "social networks"— at the time just an old-fashioned term for friends and acquaintances — could act as more reliable soothsayers.

The researchers focused on 74 couples who had been dating for a median of one year and asked them to list their individual friends and joint friends. (The small, non-diverse group of mostly college-aged participants means that the study's results are intriguing, but by no means the final say on all human relationships.)

They interviewed the couples about their relationships, and then they sent questionnaires to hundreds of their friends, asking them to share what they really thought about their friends' pairings.

Six months later, 15 of the 70 couples the researchers could still contact had broken up. 

A Crystal Ball

In general, the study suggests, your friends are not as psyched about your relationship as you are — at least if you're a 20-year-old college student. At the beginning of the experiment, the people in relationships said they were more committed and happy than their friends seemed to think they were.

"Given the amount of effort individuals put into their romantic endeavors, [they] are likely motivated to view their relationships in a positive light," wrote Loving, in a later analysis. "Otherwise, why would they be in them?"

However much your friends want you to be happy, it's not personal for them the way it is for you — and that distance turns out to be crucial. 

While "friends' perceptions [were] somewhat aligned" with what the couples themselves reported, "joint friends, her friends, and his friends all [perceived] relationship state as significantly more negative than the couple members themselves did," the researchers explained in the paper.

As it turned out, these glass-half-empty perceptions of the couples were "powerfully predictive" of the fate of the relationships. And the more couples blabbed to their friends about their relationships, the more accurate their friends' perceptions were. Meanwhile, the friends of the women in the pairings — most of whom were women themselves — seemed to be more in tune with their friends' relationships than both the couples themselves and their friends as a whole.

These findings, the researchers write, "are especially remarkable" since outsiders' impressions of relationships are based on secondhand knowledge and "considerably less information" than the couples have themselves. Of course, the authors note, couples have a "tremendous personal stake in the romance that clouds [their] judgement regarding it."

No Such Thing As A Sure Thing

Notably, the 2001 researchers did not actually ask participants whether they thought their friends' relationships would last. They simply asked participants for their impressions of each relationship, and then measured whether those impressions were predictive of the way the relationships turned out. (They were.)

In an earlier, smaller study, though, Canadian researchers found slightly different results: Students' roommates and parents were asked directly whether the student-couple would still be together after one year, and those confidantes were also able to make more accurate predictions than the students themselves.

That result seems to confirm that "ask a friend" may indeed be one good way to see into your relationship's future. But the couples in the Canadian study provided more accurate assessments of their own relationship's quality than did their parents and roommates, suggesting over-optimism even when they were cognizant of their relationships' realities.

Had the Canadian researchers simply looked at the outsiders' impressions of their roommates' relationships instead of asking for direct predictions, their findings would be in direct conflict with what the 2001 researchers found later; instead, it's a bit more muddled.

In 2006, Timothy Loving tried to make sense of some of this muddle with a larger follow-up study that looked at similar questions. He found that while the friends of female daters made accurate predictions about the future of their friends' relationships, "male daters' friends appear to have few unique insights" into their friends' romances. Perhaps, he suggests, women just disclose more to their friends, giving the male friends too little information to go on.

One of his key points though, is that there are too many variables to expect consistency, even among small samples that are roughly the same age. "Roommates" are not the same as "social network members" or "close friends," and it's reasonable to think that friends' predictive powers will vary depending on closeness. But Loving does suggest a question future researchers can ask the people in a relationship, to try to find the outsiders who will be most accurate and perceptive in their predictions: "Who knows you and your relationship best?"

If you're wondering what the future has in store for you and your plus one, it would be wise to set aside your rosy view and ask yourself that very question. Then, if you dare, ask that person what she really thinks about your relationship — and whether it will last.

SEE ALSO: Scientists Have Found A Surprising Key To Happy Relationships

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Molly Sims is a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and actress. Sims tells us the attributes she looks for in a man.

Produced by Devan Joseph. Video courtesy of Associated Press.

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Marriage has always been a gamble, but the modern game is harder — with higher stakes than ever before.

Struggling marriages make people more unhappy today than in the past, while healthy marriages have some of the happiest couples in history, according to a comprehensive analysis published in 2007 regarding marital quality and personal well-being.

When Eli Finkel sought to understand why marriage is more extreme at both ends today than in the past, he discovered something intriguing yet discouraging: Marriages in the US are more challenging today than at any other time in our country's history.

Finkel is a professor of social psychology at Northwestern University and is known for developing a surprisingly simple marriage-saving procedure, which takes 21 minutes a year. (The procedure involves three seven-minute online writing sessions, where couples describe their most recent disagreement from the perspective of a hypothetical neutral bystander — something they are also encouraged to try out in future arguments.)

Finkel, together with his colleagues of the Relationships and Motivation LAB at Northwestern, have gone on to publish several papers on what they call "the suffocation model of marriage in America."

In their latest paper on this front, they explain why — compared to previous generations — some of the defining qualities of today's marriages make it harder for couples to cultivate a flourishing relationship. The simple answer is that people today expect more out of their marriage. If these higher expectations are not met, it can suffocate a marriage to the point of destroying it.

Finkel, in an Opinion article in The New York Times summarizing their latest paper on this model, discusses the three distinct models of marriage that relationship psychologists refer to:

• institutional marriage (from the nation's founding until 1850)
• companionate marriage (from 1851 to 1965)
• self-expressive marriage (from 1965 onward)

Before 1850, people were hardly walking down the aisle for love. In fact, American couples at this time, who wed for food production, shelter, and protection from violence, were satisfied if they felt an emotional connection with their spouse, Finkel wrote. (Of course, old-fashioned, peaceful-seeming marriages may have been especially problematic for women, and there were an "array of cruelties that this kind of marriage could entail,"Rebecca Onion wrote recently in Aeon.)

Those norms changed quickly when an increasing number of people left the farm to live and work in the city for higher pay and fewer hours. With the luxury of more free time, Americans focused on what they wanted in a lifelong partner, namely companionship and love. But the counter-cultural attitude of the 1960s led Americans to think of marriage as an option instead of an essential step in life.

This leads us to today's model, self-expressive marriage, wherein the average modern, married American is looking not only for love from their spouse but for a sense of personal fulfillment. Finkel writes that this era's marriage ideal can be expressed in the simple quote "You make me want to be a better man," from James L. Brooks' 1997 film "As Good as It Gets."

These changes to marital expectations have been a mixed bag, Finkel argues.

"As Americans have increasingly looked to their marriage to help them meet idiosyncratic, self-expressive needs, the proportion of marriages that fall short of their expectations has grown, which has increased rates of marital dissatisfaction,"Finkel's team writes, in their latest paper. On the other hand, "those marriages that succeed in meeting these needs are particularly fulfilling, more so than the best marriages in earlier eras."

The key to a successful, flourishing marriage? Finkel and his colleagues describe three general options:

• Don't look to your marriage alone for personal fulfillment. In addition to your spouse, use all resources available to you including friends, hobbies, and work.
• If you want a lot from your marriage, then you have to give a lot, meaning that in order to meet their high expectations, couples must invest more time and psychological resources into their marriage.
• And if neither of those options sound good, perhaps it's time to ask less of the marriage and adjust high expectations for personal fulfillment and self discovery.

Other researchers, like sociologist Jeffrey Dew, support the notion that time is a crucial factor in sustaining a successful marriage.

Dew, who is a professor at the University of Virginia, found that Americans in 1975 spent, on average, 35 hours a week alone with their spouse while couples in 2003 spent 26 hours together. Child-rearing couples in 1975 spent 13 hours a week together, alone, compared to couples in 2003 who spent 9 hours a week together. The divorce rate in America was 32.8% in 1970 and rose to 49.1% by 2000.

While that doesn't necessarily mean less time together led to divorce or that the people who stayed together were happy, Finkel's research suggests that higher expectations and less investment in the relationship may be a toxic brew.

Marriage has become as tricky but also as potentially rewarding as climbing Mt. Everest: Obtaining a sense of personal fulfillment from your partner is as hard as achieving the summit. This is both good and bad because it means that you are reaching for the pinnacle of what marriage has to offer — which explains why couples in healthy marriages are happier now than in the past — but it also means that meeting those expectations and feeling satisfied in marriage is harder than ever.

"The good news is that our marriages can flourish today like never before," Finkel writes for The New York Times. "They just can't do it on their own."

SEE ALSO: Scientists Have Discovered How Common Different Sexual Fantasies Are

CHECK OUT: 5 Ways To Tell If Someone Is Cheating On You

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One thing romantic comedies forget to tell you is that falling in love isn't just the beginning of a breathless, heartwarming saga.

It's also the beginning of a tedious, unbearable grind full of number crunching, crushed expectations, and painful examples of incompatibility.

Those who have taken the plunge know full well that moving in together takes much more than trust, a tight emotional bond, and fevered passion.

In fact, all the qualities that make for a romantic union are just as likely to undermine the financial union that results.

Since, monetarily speaking, a leap of faith is a sure plunge to the death, it's important to know as much as you can about your lover before you move in together. Here are 6 financial questions to ask before moving in together with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

1. How much do you owe?

It's as impolite to discuss debt as it is religious or political preferences, but politeness goes out the window when it gets down to moving in together.

You need to know it all, ranging from department store credit cards to car loans and student loans. Even if you're not combining checking accounts just yet, your partner's debt will affect you every bit as much as it does them because it will affect their ability to contribute to the household bottom line.

You may, for instance, consider your boyfriend to be wealthy because he makes six figures, but if he's lived beyond his means and racked up crushing debt payments, you may find yourself to be the main breadwinner. And if you're thinking about getting married but one partner has a lot of debt, it's not imprudent to consider putting off the wedding until the debt is under control.

2. Are you still getting an allowance?

The opposite side of the debt coin is unacknowledged income sources. If a parent is dumping money into your girlfriend's checking account every month, that's something you need to know. Such funding rarely comes without strings.

Parents who give their adult children money often seek a requisite amount of access and control over how the money is spent. So a monthly allowance could put your own finances under the parental microscope, and you may find yourself having to explain your expenditures to your would be in-laws.

Also, the adult allowance won't last forever. If your significant other has grown accustomed to spending the extra income, you'll both need to prepare for how you'll someday budget without it.

3. How do you spend your money?

Spending money — even on luxuries — isn't necessarily a bad thing, assuming you have a saving plan and you can afford it. But we all spend money on things WE find valuable, and your S.O. may be quick to criticize your shoe collection or custom gaming room as a frivolous waste of money. So it's important to talk about spending; what's important to each of you and what you'll want to spend money on together.

Of course, you'll also want to be on the lookout for any signs of a spending problem. Out-of-control spending habits can neutralize the most sizable incomes. Obsessions ranging from seven nights a week at the bars to compulsive Amazon orders can become unfillable black holes capable of sucking the air out of any budget.

Since those with spending problems tend to minimize them and deceive themselves and others, it can take some hardcore detective work to ferret out the truth. Look for telltale signs of a problem, such as secret spending binges or mumbled answers when confronted about spending tendencies. To get to the hard truth, you'll have to take a hard look at spending records.

4. What's your '5-year plan?'

Ambitions and goals need to merge to form a financial house united. If you are bent on socking away funds for your retirement while your boyfriend is all about living for the moment, he'll either end up spending all your money on seat-of-his-pants whims, or resent the fact that you've coerced him into giving up his joy to save for a future he doesn't believe in.

Shorter-term goals are just as important. If only one of you wants to save for a dream vacation but the other dreams of a down payment on a house, someone is going to lose out. Unlike many of the issues in this article, though, having different priorities isn't necessarily a death knell for your union. The way to reconcile disparate goals is to hash things out and make compromises. If you support one another's goals, you will both end up winners.

5. How's your credit?

As if baring your debts wasn't painful enough, you should also plan a romantic night of pulling each other's credit histories.

While credit may not come into play yet — say, if you're just moving into your partner's apartment — it will certainly matter if you ever decide to rent a place or buy a home together. Unless one of you makes six figures, qualifying for a mortgage on one income is difficult, so the bank will require both credit scores.

If you're lucky, they will average the two instead of using the lowest. Still, that's reason to know about any skeletons in your credit reports and begin working to build better credit.

6. How are we going to share the bills?

Assuming you've asked financial questions 1-5 and still want to move in together, this last one's critical: How are you going to split joint expenses after you move in?

Will one person pay the rent and utilities and simply ask the other for a check each month? Will you divvy up the bills? Will you open a joint checking account? And — if one partner earns significantly more — will he or she pay a higher percentage of the bills, or will you split them equally?

Such decisions don't seem all that complicated, but if you don't move in together with a plan, splitting the bills can quickly lead to resentment if both parties aren't on the same page.

A final warning

Ever see "Signs" or "The Sixth Sense?" Those Shyamalan-directed films were all about lulling you into a false sense of security before upending all of it in such a drastic way that you find yourself cross-eyed and mumbling. Twist endings that tie movies together tear relationships apart. These are the deepest, darkest secrets that — once known — change everything you thought you knew about a person and makes you see them in a new light.

Whatever it is your significant other has been working to hide from you is exactly what you need to know. Bankruptcies, convictions, mob ties, what have you — it's best to get this stuff laid out on the table so it doesn't surprise you later. It's best to ask "Is there anything I need to know about you?" And once you're lied to, ask the question again. And then again and again, until he or she breaks down and you finally get your answer.

SEE ALSO: 10 Money Questions To Ask Before Getting Married

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Single but wish you weren't? There's an app for that.

Meet "Invisible Boyfriend" (and "Invisible Girlfriend"), the app designed to send you texts, calls, and even leave voicemails to help you convince everyone around you that you've found love.

The apps, founded by St. Louis’s Matthew Homann and Kyle Tabor, launched today. 

“[Imagine] you’ve got conservative grandparents in the Bible Belt who can’t believe you might be gay or lesbian,” Mr. Homann told BetaBeat reporter Jordyn Taylor.

BetaBeat reports,

We needed to know: how does the service generate text messages and voicemails that seem real? We should make it clear that users don’t just receive generic, robotic texts; the messages read like they come from a human, and your Invisible partner will actually respond if you text them back.

Mr. Homann said the recipe is a “secret sauce,” but hinted that “you can tell in many cases there’s a real person on the other end of the message.”

“One of our users,” he said, “[has] actually told us she’s texted her Invisible Boyfriend practicing things she might say to a young man she might meet in St. Louis that she’s interested in.”

Invisible Boyfriend and Girlfriend also generate believable pics of your pretend partner by soliciting selfies from ordinary people, as opposed to using posed-looking stock images.

The service costs $24.99. The package includes 100 texts, 10 voicemails, and 1 handwritten note. 

SEE ALSO: I Tried 'Invisible Boyfriend' — And It Was Hilarious

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Earlier Tuesday we reported on a new app called Invisible Boyfriend (and girlfriend), which allows you to maintain a realistic digital relationship that will convince those around you (pesky parents, curious coworkers) that you've found a significant other.

Immediately, I knew I wanted to try it out.

The app boasts something that hasn't been seen much before — someone real on the other end, sending you texts, calling you, and even leaving voicemails (who does that anymore?) to make the relationship look, well, like an actual relationship!

The service costs about $25, but it's still in beta, so I was able to try it out for free (I would receive up to 10 texts at no charge from my new boyfriend).

A cool perk of the site is that it allows you to cherry-pick a lover who suits your interests.

From their looks ...

... to their name and age (I had a friend choose these for me.) ...

... to their interests and personality. You can even type in a blurb about how you met. (I just stuck with the generic blurb that was already filled out.)

I ended up with someone who resembled my actual boyfriend. Meet Gerald!

Once I confirmed my telephone number, the texts from Gerald began rolling in. He seemed like a robot, until he spelled "to" wrong and I called him out on it and he got sassy with me.

 Then I decided to pick a fight with him, because this is supposed to be a real relationship.

Gerald took some time to respond, just as regular humans do.

But I still felt as if I were talking to a stranger, not a lover whom I could convince others around me I was actually dating. Besides, how would I do that? Save Gerald showing up to a function and holding my hand, what was I supposed to do? Wave my phone around exclaiming, "My new boyfriend Gerald is texting me!"?

My colleague Steve Kovach signed up for Invisible Girlfriend and began his relationship with a woman he named "Ruth Bader Ginsburg."

He did not save her number as a contact (he's not as committed as Gerald and I are), so I blurred out the phone number.

We eventually realized that the area codes of Ruth and Gerald matched the cities that we chose for them to hail from. Attention to detail!

The beta program of Invisible Boyfriend/Girlfriend allowed us to receive 10 free texts from our new love interests.

The initial package will cost users around $25 and will also include phone calls and handwritten letters, but I'm still not convinced this is actually a good investment for those looking to convince their mothers or their bosses or whoever is super interested in their love lives that they're dating someone. 

Why not just have a good friend role-play via text for a weekend? Change the contact name of a friend to a fake boyfriend's name — for free!

Or, just own your single status!

One thing's for sure, though: Invisible Boyfriend would have been perfect for Jan Brady.

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Although fewer young people are getting married today than ever before, research suggests that getting and staying married is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

As the New York Times recently concluded, "being married makes people happier and more satisfied with their lives than those who remain single — particularly during the most stressful periods, like midlife crises."

If you wait until you're 23 to commit, you're less likely to get divorced.

A 2014 University of Pennsylvania study found that Americans who cohabitate or get married at age 18 have a 60% divorce rage. 

But people who waited until 23 to make either of those commitments had a divorce rate around 30%.

"All of the literature explained that the reason people who married younger were more likely to divorce was because they were not mature enough to pick appropriate partners," the Atlantic reports.

The 'in love' phase lasts about a year.

The honeymoon phase with its "high levels of passionate love" and "intense feelings of attraction and ecstasy, as well as an idealization of one's partner," doesn't last forever. 

According to a 2005 study by the University of Pavia in Italy, it lasts about a year. 

Eventually you realize that you're not one person.

Once you start living together, you realize that you have different priorities and tolerances — like, for instance, what does or doesn't consitute a mess. 

"People have to come to terms with the reality that 'we really are different people,'"says couples therapist Ellyn Bader. "'You are different from who I thought you were or wanted you to be. We have different ideas, different feelings, different interests.'"

It's a stressful — and necessary — evolution. 

Sometimes we just don't want anyone else to know what we spent on that new suit or watch.

Not even our spouse.

According to a recent CreditCards.com report, 7.2 million Americans — 6% — have a bank or credit card account that they keep hidden from their spouse.

And it turns out men are the ones more likely to be hiding money.

Out of the 7.2 million who admitted to keeping a secret account, 4.4 million were men and 2.8 million were women.

The report also found that Americans aren't always 100% honest with their partners when it comes to their spending habits.

One in five Americans have spent $500 or more on a purchase without their spouse knowing about it.

Here again, men are the ones more likely to be dishonest. While only 14% of women have spent $500 or more on a purchase and kept it a secret from their spouse, just over a quarter of men admitted to doing this.

Maybe that's because men are more at ease with being kept in the dark about their spouse's big buys. Almost a third of men said they didn't mind not knowing if their spouse made a purchase of $500 or more. Women, on the other hand, like to know what their spouse spends: Only 18% were okay not knowing about a purchase of $500 or more.

This doesn't mean that Americans think keeping financial secrets is a good idea, though. Just under a third of those surveyed think their partner should let them know when they spend $100 or more.

SEE ALSO: How To See Eye-To-Eye With Your Partner About Money

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Ty Tashiro, psychologist and author of The Science of Happily Ever After,  explains why you should narrow down your search for an ideal partner to three preferences (and no more).

Produced by Alana Kakoyiannis

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January can be an opportunity for a fresh start. And for some, that means ending unhappy marriages.

In fact, January is known as "divorce season," the top month for divorce filings.

For some, the change will be welcome, while for others it will come as a shock when they learn their spouse is leaving.

If you have decided to file for divorce, or you were on the receiving end of divorce papers, divorce attorney Rebecca Zung, author of "Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Freedom," warns about six common pitfalls you'll want to avoid.

1. Starting out in the dark

Do you know how much you and your soon-to-be ex have in savings and retirement funds? Are you aware of all the debts?

If you've let your spouse handle the finances, those details may be a mystery.

Conversely, if you have been the "money person," your spouse may think you have more money than you do, or may not be aware of the expenses and debts that take a big chunk out of your income each month. Either way, keeping one person in the dark about financial matters can be costly.

Zung recalls one client who nursed her husband — a "successful businessman"— back to health after a serious illness. He then revealed he had several million dollars in foreign bank accounts and "the IRS was on his tail, as he had 'forgotten' to mention the income on those assets to them all these years."

He had dragged his wife into the mess because they had filed joint tax returns for years. Even worse, he proceeded to hire top-notch attorneys for himself, leaving her on her own.

2. Winging it

Getting divorced costs money. "Not being prepared by having enough money to live on and pay fees until the temporary relief hearing when divorce starts" is a big mistake, says Zung. At a minimum, you'll need enough money to hire an attorney and pay certain filing costs, as well as to cover living expenses.

A lack of savings may force you to turn to credit cards or other loans, which will in turn mean starting your new life trying to get out of debt. (Similarly, if your spouse is leaving you, it is helpful to have access to funds you can control to pay for necessary expenses that come up while you split up.)

3. Paying an 'emotional tax'

Clients who give into a settlement for emotional reasons, or don't give in because they want their ex "to pay," usually regret it, Zung observes. It can be extremely hard to make rational decisions during this process, especially if you feel blindsided or taken advantage of.

But that's where a good attorney and/or therapist can be helpful. They can help you separate the emotional issues from financial ones, and make better long-term decisions.

4. Overspending on a new flame

Zung says she sees this mistake more frequently with men than with women. They spend money on the new love of their life, "too much, too quickly." Not only can this be expensive, but it can also work against their interests in the divorce process. "Even in no-fault states, it can be used against them if they spend more on a new girlfriend than on their wife and kids," she warns.

5. Using the children as leverage

In the Jim Carrey movie "Liar, Liar," he plays an attorney with a gold-digging client who fights for custody of her children — whom she calls "brats"— in order to get a bigger payout from her spouse. But, unfortunately, that scenario isn't just limited to Hollywood movies.

Zung says she's seen individuals "asking for more timesharing just to lower child support" or vice versa. While it's important to work out an agreement that works for you both time-wise and financially, children should not be used as leverage.

6. Not having your own accounts

You should have your own bank account and at least one credit card account in your own name. If you only have joint accounts, you may want to apply for your own credit card, even if that means starting with a secured card.

While there are a number of steps Zung recommends individuals who are splitting up take to protect their finances, one of your first jobs is to "become a sleuth and gain as much information as you possibly can." She explained in an email:

Find out in whose name all assets are titled. Find out what assets are in your spouse's own name. Identify all debts you and/or your spouse have, including outstanding mortgages for any real estate you and/or your spouse hold, and whose names they're in. Review your credit report to confirm it accurately reflects your liabilities. Copy (or photograph with a smartphone) every shred of financial information you can find.

You can get your credit reports for free once a year — but you can't check your spouse's without their knowledge — so it's not a bad idea to try to persuade your spouse to go over both your credit reports before you split up if that's possible. You can also get a free credit report summary on Credit.com, which includes two free credit scores updated monthly, at Credit.com.

Check both carefully. Your credit report should include all your open accounts, including joint accounts you may have forgotten about (and ideally, should close). And a drop in your scores could be a sign that your spouse is running up balances on joint accounts, or failing to pay joint accounts he or she promised to pay.

More from Credit.com

• 5 Tips for Managing Your Credit Through a Divorce
• What Happens to Your Credit When You Get Divorced?
• Credit Card Options for Couples

SEE ALSO: What To Do With Your Money When You Get Remarried

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Our friends are some of the most important people in our lives.

But have you ever considered the impact they have on your finances?

Some friends can suck money from your wallet, even if they don't intend to.

And because they're your friends, you may not even notice.

(See also: 10 Types of Neighbors Who Are Costing You Money)

Consider whether yours fall into any of these categories of friends that cost you money.

1. The leech

He's more than just cheap. He's a moocher. He's always asking to borrow money.

He raids your fridge, and if you go out to eat, he always insists on paying just half the check — even if he ordered more.

He wants you to spot him his share of the monthly rent and promises to pay you back — but you know he won't. He'll even "borrow" books and DVDs that you'll never see again.

You need to draw a hard line on what you'll do for this friend. Otherwise, you'll both end up suffering financially.

2. The big spender

If you go to a baseball game together, they insist on getting tickets behind home plate instead of in the bleachers. When you suggest a weekend of camping, they push for a week of skiing in Aspen.

Perhaps this friend is wealthy and has a good chunk of disposable income. Or, perhaps they just love to spend and hate to save. Either way, keeping up with their lifestyle is making you go broke.

You like this friend because you enjoy his or her company, but you must politely find a way to spend time with them on more frugal terms.

3. The bad association

He's always getting in trouble, and you're often dragged in his wake. He's the guy who shows up with weed at parties, or gets into fights at clubs. You can try your best to be on the straight and narrow, but just being around him can put you at risk for legal trouble.

And even if your criminal record stays clean, your social media profile might not. Think you're due for a raise at work? You better hope the boss doesn't see the drunken Instagram pic your friend tagged you in.

4. The awful entrepreneur

She always has a new idea for something that will change the world, and all she needs is some money to get it off the ground. Maybe it's a new mobile app to help you brush your teeth, or a new restaurant specializing in gourmet scrambled eggs. You admire her entrepreneurial spirit, but the truth is that she has neither the business sense nor the dedication to get rich from any of these schemes.

It may be tempting to lend money to friends for their business ventures, but don't let your friendship skew your assessment of whether the investment makes good financial sense.

5. The philanthropist

This month, he's running in a marathon to raise money for cancer research. Next month, he's seeking donations for a local homeless shelter. He's a generous soul — and that's great! But it's important that you don't feel pressured to donate every time he comes around.

You must find a way to gently tell your friend that you can't pony up cash every time he's supporting something. Keep in mind that it's possible to support his cause without giving money. For instance, consider volunteering your time to the charity in question, instead.

6. The celebrator

I had an old friend from college who would plan parties and outings for the most innocuous of reasons. While most of us grew older and let our birthdays pass with little fanfare, he was still planning annual trips to Las Vegas well into his 30s. His over-celebrating was often excessive, but the truth is that this is something many of us fall prey to.

We celebrate the new job, the promotion, the graduation from preschool. We reward ourselves with a dinner out just because "we've had a tough week." Resist the urge to celebrate every single life event, and politely beg out of those outings to which you've been invited.

7. The extravagant gift giver

It's Christmas Day and you bought gifts for all of the people on your list. But then a friend arrives with expensive items for you and your entire family. Now you're on the hook to reciprocate, even if you feel like you're not close enough with this person to be exchanging gifts every year.

This is a tricky situation, as it hardly seems civil to complain about a friend's generosity. But there are polite ways to nudge the person away from giving gifts. If they still insist on giving, reciprocate by inviting them to dinner or finding a tasteful but inexpensive item.

8. The spending enabler

So you're on the fence about whether to buy the 45-inch flat screen TV or the 70-inch monster. On one shoulder is the little Frugal Angel, telling you to buy the smaller one, or even pass on buying altogether. One the other is your friend, telling you how much you deserve the behemoth.

She may mean well, but she's always pushing you to spend more. "Go for it," she'll say. "You work hard. Don't be afraid to spoil yourself." Never listen to the Enabling Devil.

9. The early adopter

This is the guy who stands in line at the Apple Store every time a new phone is released. He's the first to get every new gadget or technology out there. Hanging out with this friend can make you feel pressured to keep up.

But keep in mind that Early Adopters rarely get the best deals. Don't let your friend's love of the shiny new thing influence your own buying decisions.

10. The gambler

With this friend, a casual game of poker always seems to turn into a scene from Rounders. His "friendly" fantasy-football league just offers another chance for big chunks of money to change hands. He's always betting on something, and all too often you find yourself opening up your wallet to join the fun.

Resist the urge to bet big bucks on things every time you hang out with this friend. You'll be better off financially (and your blood pressure may improve as well.)

SEE ALSO: Here's How Rich People Choose Their Friends

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