Pokémon Go is already destroying everyone's phone batteries. Today it destroyed a relationship, the New York Post reports. 

(Still not sure why people are obsessed with this new game? Here's everything you need to know about Pokémon Go.)

New Yorker Evan Scribner told the Post that he's now single because his girlfriend used the smartphone-based game to discover that he'd been hooking up with an ex in Bushwick, Brooklyn. How? The game uses mapping software to track exactly where players catch their Pokémon.

"She saw that I had caught a Pokémon while at my ex's house," Scribner told the Post. "She found out last night...and hasn't contacted me since then."

But you never know: Maybe she'll give him another Chansey.  

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NOW WATCH: 'Pokémon GO' is a huge battery drain for your phone — here's how you can play longer

In a recent interview with Sophia Amoruso on the #Girlboss Radio podcast, Whitney Wolfe discussed the experiences that motivated her to found Bumble, a dating app through which women can ask out men — but not the other way around.

Wolfe told Amoruso why the app "really turns the rules on society's head":

"I can't tell you how many times in college I had a crush on a guy, or I thought a guy was cute, and I would text him, and my friends would be like, 'You just committed the ultimate sin.' Like, 'What have you done? You texted him first?'

"No thank you. … It's so outdated, and it's so needed for something to come in and say 'enough.'"

Wolfe's experience is hardly unusual. The dating website Match told Business Insider that straight women initiate only about 18% of emails between straight women and straight men on Match.

So what happens when women do break with tradition and make the first move?

According to the most recent "Singles in America" survey, for which Match questioned more than 5,000 singles (not just Match users), a whopping 90% of men said they're comfortable with a woman asking them out.

Of course, the men in the survey were answering hypothetically, and it's possible they were simply responding in a way that would make them sound enlightened.

But if you assume that most of these men were telling the truth, then there's a huge gap between the number of women who initiate dates and the number of men who would be totally open to it.

In fact, according to a recent OkCupid study, women on that site who make the first move can wind up with more attractive partners than women who wait for men to ask them out.

That's because women generally message men who are five points more attractive (as rated by OkCupid users) than they are, while they typically receive messages from men who are seven points less attractive.

There's no clear psychological reason why women don't initiate relationships with men more often. One potential explanation is evolutionary.

In a 2011 Psychology Today column, Michael Mills, a professor of psychology at Loyola Marymount University, proposed that when a woman asks out a man, it suggests that she'll do so again, with other men. That might make the man less inclined to believe she'd be a faithful partner — and research has found that men desire sexual fidelity in women.

But given the fact that 90% of the men survey respondents say they're comfortable being asked out by a woman, it may be more that women think men would see them negatively if they initiated a date ... which means everyone might be better off when a woman sends that text.

SEE ALSO: This mathematical theory explains how women can be more successful on dating sites

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NOW WATCH: Bumble founder: Men should stop putting these 4 things in their profiles

Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris made headlines while they were a couple, from their PDA-packed Instagram pictures to attending award shows together. So, it's no surprise that their breakup is playing out in the media.

She's dealing with the split by (allegedly) jumping into a super intense relationship with British actor Tom Hiddleston, while he's posting Snapchats of himself with beautiful women and shading Swift on Twitter.

However, relationship therapist Dr. Nikki Martinez told INSIDER that, when you strip away the celebrity aspect of their split, the two are coping with their breakup in totally normal ways.

"I see this in a lot of relationships when people break up," Martinez said. "They’re each trying to convince themselves that they’re feeling a certain way, as well as convince the other person that they’re feeling a certain way."

Swift is likely coping with the breakup by rebounding, which acts as a band aid for the pain and heartbreak associated with the end of a serious relationship, according to the expert.

The Hiddleswift relationship (if it is real) provides Swift with comfort during this difficult time, and also serves as a tool to show both Harris and the world that she is doing just fine.

"She wants people to believe, especially the person she just ended things with, that she's just great. This didn't affect her; she's moving on with her life," Martinez said.

However, Harris is doing "just the opposite." He's trying to show that he's unphased by the relationship's end (by frolicking around with other women), but can't stop showing his true feelings.

"He wants the world to know he’s feeling a certain way, but he also doesn't want to show that he’s too weak," she said. "But he does obviously have this embarrassment, and also likely anger and hurt, under the surface, because he’s not able to hide it."

The therapist said that these differing reactions are actually quite common for people going through breakups.

"People are either one way or another. You have people the people who can’t be alone, and so they immediately jump from one relationship to the next," Martinez said.

And on the other end of the spectrum, you have people who actually try to deal with their pain immediately, and often can’t control their emotions, she added.

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NOW WATCH: The US Navy just flexed its muscles in the world's most contested region

Everyone is freaking out over the sudden escalation of Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift's breakup.

Until today things had been relatively calm, but then the EDM star went on a Tweetstorm criticizing his ex after news broke that she had ghostwritten a song for him. 

It was ugly, yes, but it wasn't the first ugly, public breakup Harris has gone through. And, to be honest, he looks better in this one than he did in the last one.

You'd be forgiven for not knowing who Rita Ora is, but she's a fairly prolific pop star. 

The British singer dated Harris from May 2013 until early 2014. The breakup, which sources at the time said happened because Harris wanted more privacy, started out amicably enough. 

Ora was, however, blindsided by Harris' decision to publicly announce the split in a since-deleted tweet on June 6, 2014. 

"To address speculation – myself and Rita ended our relationship some time ago," he wrote. "She is a beautiful, talented woman & I wish her all the best."

Had that been where it stopped, it probably wouldn't have been that a big deal — except for what happened next.

Ora was supposed to perform her song "I Will Never Let You Down" at the 2014 Teen Choice Awards. Except Harris, who had written and produced the track for her while they were together, refused to give her legal permission to perform the hit.

Ora kind of saw the snub coming, but was disappointed. "Because the show was going to be awesome and we put so much work and money into the show. I put my own money into the performance like I always do," she said.

"But just know I had a damn good reason," Harris tweeted, ominously, though that tweet has also been deleted.

The great irony here is that there's a chance that the exact opposite thing could happen to him.

TMZ reports that Swift could pull the same trick on Harris, now that it's been made public that she wrote "This Is What You Came For," though the tabloid says she's refraining from doing so. It's unclear if she actually does have the legal authority, in this case. 

Buckle up, drama fans. Harris and Swift are both breakup drama veterans, so their split could potentially get even uglier. 

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NOW WATCH: Taylor Swift won the Taylor Swift Award

Contrary to what fairy tales may tell you, relationships take work.

So we collected some of the best social-science findings about what makes them last:

Drake Baer contributed to this story.

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NOW WATCH: 5 ways to change your body language to make people like you

One of life's most conflict-inducing situations arises when two people are trying to decide where to eat.

Luckily, confused and hangry diners may find some wisdom from an unlikely source: computer science.

According to Brian Christian, co-author of "Algorithms to Live By: The Computer Science of Human Decisions," choosing where to eat comes down to a tradeoff known as the "explore/exploit" problem: Do you explore new options, or do you exploit (or savor) the familiar ones?

"The chance of discovering new things is the greatest at the beginning of a process," he tells Tech Insider, "and the value of just going with the best thing we know about is highest at the end of the process."

In other words, the decision of where to eat comes down to numbers.

The clearest example of this problem in computer science is the practice of A/B testing, a strategy many digital companies use to figure out which ad experiences or user interfaces people find most engaging. In A/B testing, a certain portion of users will get a familiar experience, while the other group will get a new one.

It's up to the company to decide just what that ratio of new and old will be. If they strike the wrong balance for too long — say, favoring the old ad experience over the new for months on end — that could mean missing out on millions of dollars in revenue.

Borrowing from that world, Christian argues that the way to maximize your gustatory happiness is by conducting smart A/B testing.

If it's your first day in a new city, everything is new. You have a 100% chance of eating somewhere you've never eaten before. At the other extreme, if it's your last day before moving away, you don't stand anything to gain from trying a new place you'll never get to visit again. So you should just go to that cozy spot on your corner that crumbles your soup crackers just so.

In between those poles, Christian recommends people take a zoomed-out view of their plans. You don't need to get existential or anything, but if you know you probably will be in that town or city for a few more years, you still have plenty of time to visit your favorite places. If you have just six months left, you might want to lean on the old haunts more often, as that time doesn't leave you with as much cushion for the inevitable duds.

In both cases, Christian says, "your willingness to spend energy trying new things should depend on how much time you feel like you have left to enjoy those things."

That approach doesn't just apply to restaurants — A/B testing shows up in many different contexts and on many different scales. According to Christian, college freshmen should make different decisions than college seniors, and children should make different decisions than their grandparents.

With that distinction, however, youths may do well to take their elders' advice when it comes to matters of experience.

"When your grandfather tells you which restaurants are good, you should listen," write Christian and his co-author, cognitive scientist Tom Griffiths. Think of all the A/B testing he's done over the years. "These are pearls gleaned from decades of searching."

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NOW WATCH: We ate live octopus at this NYC restaurant — and it was exhilarating

With countless books, blogs, and movies devoted to the subject, it can sometimes seem as though making a relationship last requires a ton of scheming and planning.

But in reality, when two people care about each other, it's actually quite easy to make a healthy relationship go the distance.

Relationship expert Talia Goldstein, CEO of white-glove matchmaking service Three Day Rule, told INSIDER that there are just a few simple rules that couples should follow.

Here are her best tips for building a lasting relationship.

1. Listen, listen, listen

Most of us are constantly glued to our smartphones or tablets, obsessed with catching Pokémon or viewing our friends' latest social-media updates.

But when you're with your partner, it's important to actually put down the device and listen to what they're saying, Goldstein explained.

"Every time you pick up your phone when you're with another person, you're essentially saying that whatever is on your phone is more important to them," the relationship expert said.

Instead, it's important to actually engage with your partner when they're telling you a story, and to show them that you're truly hearing what they're saying.

"You want someone to engage and talk things through with," Goldstein said. "Be very present, and have very meaningful conversations."

2. Be the "old" you

At the start of the relationship, you're often absolutely giddy about the other person. And so you're putting in a ton of effort, being incredibly affectionate, and telling them how much you care.

But as a relationship progresses, the honeymoon period comes to an end. You stop sleeping as close to each other or holding hands as you walk down the street, and you give fewer compliments.

According to Goldstein, it's important at this time to make sure that the spark doesn't burn out.

"There's a reason why your partner fell in love with you, and over time you naturally become more comfortable with each other, and you start trying less," Goldstein said. "If you continue down this path, you could end up as just friends."

That's why it's often important in a long-term relationship to regroup, and go back to being the "old" you.

"It's really important to put in the extra effort to do the things you first did when you met your partner," she explained.

3. Know your partner's love language

Everyone communicates in different ways — especially when it comes to love.

"Everybody feels love in different ways. For somebody, coming home to dinner on the table is the equivalent of saying I love you. For others, it might be actually saying it," Goldstein said.

So to make your relationship last, it's important to figure out how your partner feels love. But of course, sometimes it's not obvious, and you actually need to ask your partner.

"If you're telling your partner all the time 'I love you,' and that doesn't really make them feel loved, then they might feel like something is missing," the expert said. "But if cleaning the blender in the morning is the equivalent of saying 'I love you' to them, then you should focus on that."

If you're enjoying a life of wedded bliss, congratulations on beating some impressive odds.

According to Bloomberg, married Americans are now the minority.

In the US, fewer people are getting hitched than before, and young Americans are putting off marriage for longer than ever before.

In 1962, half of 21-year-olds and 90% of 30-year-olds had been married at least once. In 2014, only 8% of 21-year-olds and 55% of 30-year-olds had been married.

For those who have beaten the odds, marriage will ultimately impact many facets of your success.

These studies will begin to unpack how that could be a good thing:

SEE ALSO: 9 scientific ways having a child influences your success

SEE ALSO: 7 ways being single makes you more successful

Marrying your best friend makes you really, really happy

A recent study on marital satisfaction released by the National Bureau of Economic Research and previously reported on by Business Insider suggests that the happiest people are those who are married to their best friends.

Controlling for premarital happiness, the study concluded that, overall, marriage leads to increased well-being.

And the study found that those who consider their spouse or partner to be their best friend get about twice as much life satisfaction from marriage as other married people.

The authors concluded that partners can provide each other with a unique kind of social support and help each other overcome some of life's biggest challenges, and people with the most difficult lives — for example, middle-aged people, who often experience a dip in personal well-being — can benefit the most.

Married people get some monetary bonuses

According to two Atlantic writers who crunched some numbers, married women can pay as much as $1 million less than their single counterparts over a lifetime.

The writers looked at the tax penalties and bonuses, as well as living costs like health spending and housing costs.

According to the Tax Policy Center, a married couple suffers a "marriage penalty" if they pay more income tax as a married couple than they would have as two single individuals. A couple receives a "marriage bonus" if they pay less income tax as a married couple than they would have as two single individuals.

When couples combine their incomes, especially when they have similar incomes, this can push them into a higher tax bracket, which would result in a higher tax rate.

In addition to the tax break you receive from filing jointly, couples are more likely to receive a marriage bonus when spouses earn different amounts.

There are a lot of factors affecting marriage penalties and bonuses, but generally, according to the US Department of the Treasury Office of Tax Analysis, more married couples under the age of 65 filing joint tax returns on average see bonuses than penalties.

According to the BLS data the Atlantic writers looked at, couples also spent on average 6.9% of their annual income on their health, while single men spent only 3.9% and single women spent 7.9%.

And when it came to housing, couples spent on average 23.9% of their annual income, compared to single men who spent 30.3% and single women who spend 39.8%.

By combining resources and splitting costs, married people have the edge on all kinds of day-to-day expenses in addition to rent or mortgage: One cable bill, one utilities bill, and shared groceries can all lead to big savings.

Marriage results in a pay premium for men

A recent study conducted by W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, and Robert Lerman, an economics professor at American University, suggests that men see bigger salaries when they're married compared to their single counterparts.

According to the study results, married men between 28 and 30 years old earn around $15,900 more a year in individual income compared to their single counterparts, while married men between 44 and 46 years old make $18,800 more than single men of the same ages.

When I meet with potential clients, I get a sense of what’s on Millennials’ minds when it comes to their money. Many of you have the same concerns — things like saving, paying off debt or saving for retirement.

But I’ve noticed a trend that I didn’t anticipate: potential clients who want to get permission from their parents before working with a financial planner.

Not advice. Permission.

This is especially true of women who tell me they need to talk to their dad first before deciding to hire me.

Please note: I’ve never had a man tell me he needed to ask his mom if she thought it was a good idea to hire a financial planner. Ladies: stop it! You’re a grown a-- woman and can make your own decisions about your finances.

In some cases, these are people who have been financially independent from their parents for a while — some are even married! Millennials are a generation that has had a rough go of the whole adulting thing, and so they welcome their parents’ insights when it comes to making major life choices.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your parents being part of your inner circle of trusted life advisors, or even with them helping you financially if you need it and they can afford it. I myself just moved out after living with my parents for a time. These arrangements can work!

But the goal in seeking your parents’ help and guidance should be to eventually strike out on your own (and if you have a spouse or live-in significant other, make them your partner in making financial choices).

Even if you still receive monetary support from your parents, there are ways to gain autonomy so you can ultimately feel like you don’t need their permission to make decisions.

SEE ALSO: I'm a financial planner, and here's what I tell my 30-something clients

Ask tough questions before you take a loan from the Bank of Mom and Dad

You’re struggling and your parents generously offer to help. Before they cut you a monthly check, discuss the terms.

• Is this money a gift or a loan?
• What, if any, strings are attached?
• Do they expect a say in how that money is spent?
• How long can they afford to help you before they need to stop sending you money?

If you’re both happy with the terms of your parents’ help, great! Just remember to have periodic check-ins with them.

Be honest with your parents if your financial situation changes, and ask them to be honest with you if sending you money is putting them in a bind after a while.

In some families, money comes with conditions.

Your parents might insist on being involved in where their money goes, and they might even refuse to help fund a lifestyle they don’t approve of — whether that’s the field you work in, the city you live in, or the people you live with.

Consider carefully if you can live with these stipulations.

How to keep cash from wrecking your relationship

If you’re accepting money from your parents, it’s important to establish some healthy boundaries on both sides.

You might not appreciate your parents combing through your credit card statements, but they might not appreciate you racking up $75 bar tabs on their dime.

What might help is for you and your parents to agree on exactly what their money pays for.

For example, they might send you money that’s earmarked toward rent. You parents can rest easy knowing you have a roof over your head, and you can budget your own money for the rest of your expenses without their input.

At any time, if this arrangement isn’t working, both you and your parents can renegotiate.

Maybe your parents can only afford to help you for a limited time. They might have veto power over your choice of apartment, for example, because the rent is beyond what they can comfortably send you.

You can also back out of the deal if you’re better able to support yourself or you’re uncomfortable with your parents’ involvement.

The important thing is to be honest with each other so money doesn’t wreck your relationship.

Your parents don’t want to feel taken advantage of, and you don’t want to be treated like a child.

Great communication upfront on how (and where) you’ll spend the money can keep it from wrecking your relationship!

Enjoy your training wheels while you can

If your parents are helping you out financially, consider this time to be adulthood-in-training.

Rather than hand over control of your money to them, this is the perfect opportunity to get a hang of paying bills on time, budgeting, paying off debt, and using a credit card responsibly — all with a safety net.

As you gain confidence in your ability to manage your finances, you can work toward being financially independent.

Your parents can be there for you as a source of wisdom, but not as decision-makers in your life.

As you hit the milestones of finishing your education, starting your first job, and moving out on your own, add taking control of your financial decisions to that milestone list.

As you get older, it only gets more important that you understand your finances so you can make the right choices for you based on your life stage.

Jonathan and Victoria O'Brien met on Twitter. Three years later, they got married. 

Their love story began back in 2012, when Jonathan was managing the Twitter feed of Waterstones bookstore in London. His witty tweets caught Victoria's attention and quickly won her over, even though she didn't know who was writing them. So she sent out a tweet publicly declaring her affection for the mystery man. 

Victoria's friends dared her to ask him out, and she accepted the challenge. Jonathan ignored her first tweet but caught her second. Two months later, they went on their first date. 

Here are the 104 characters that started it all:

Yesterday, Victoria took to Twitter to announce their marriage using a famous line from the novel Jane Eyre. Their story quickly started trending. 

Soon after, Jonathan took a moment to respond to the overflow of well-wishes and media attention, tweeting, "The response to this has been astounding. Thanks, the internet. And Twitter, we guess." 

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NOW WATCH: This couple quit their jobs and used their wedding budget to sail the world

To paraphrase John Watson in BBC's "Sherlock," in real life, people don't have archenemies.

You probably don't have a scarred, white cat-stroking supervillain to contend with in your life, but it's possible that you do have a workplace nemesis, that person in the office that you just can't stand to be around.

Most of the time, you can get by just by ignoring this person (and maybe rolling your eyes at them behind their back).

Above all else, it's important not to let your personal disdain get in the way of your ability to work effectively.

Here are a few things you should never say to your office foe, lest you escalate the already tense situation:

SEE ALSO: 4 signs you have a workplace nemesis — and how to deal with it

'S---,' 'b----,' 'f---, ' etc.

You may have strong feelings of anger or annoyance toward your coworker, but directing hostile, profane language at them could get you in trouble with HR.

'Can you help me out with this?'

If circumstances force you to work with this person, so be it. However, don't actively seek out their assistance on projects when you don't have to, just to feel like the bigger person. That could seriously backfire.

'Let's just have it out right now'

I'm not saying you should opt for the passive aggressive route. Sometimes, a calm, measured confrontation is necessary when dealing with difficult people at work (for example, if your nemesis stole credit for your idea, you should call them out).

Of course, calm and measured are the operative words here. Loud, fiery arguments should be left to reality TV shows.

In late 2015, hundreds of Chipotle customers were sickened by food contaminated with E. coli bacteria or norovirus, which led the company to close dozens of restaurants. Chipotle's same-store sales dropped nearly 30% in the first quarter of 2016.

Then, in June 2016, the company's chief marketing and development officer, Mark Crumpacker, was charged with allegedly buying cocaine from a drug delivery service in New York.

A recent survey found that a quarter of respondents say they've either stopped going to Chipotle or are going less often. Chipotle is hardly the first big company to screw up, but the reason it's now struggling to woo customers might have to do with a mistake it made while growing its business over the past two decades.

That mistake was placing too much focus on food and not enough on connections with customers.

That's according to Chris Malone, founding partner of the consulting and professional services firm Fidelum Partners and coauthor, with the psychologist Susan Fiske, of "The Human Brand." In the book, Malone and Fiske cite years of research suggesting that people form relationships with brands the same way they form relationships with other people.

We look for the same traits in brands that we look for in people — specifically warmth and competence. And Chipotle now falls short on both criteria — which spells trouble ahead.

"Chipotle was really vulnerable because of their heavy reliance on their claims about their food," Malone told Business Insider.

That might sound weird — isn't Chipotle a food chain? — but Malone suggested that interpersonal relationships are as important to a company's perception as they are to the product it's selling. In fact, one study found that people thought products of brands perceived to be competent and warm tasted better than products of companies that were just one or neither.

When something went wrong with Chipotle's food, the company couldn't fall back on being nice and friendly. It might be left with its ultracommitted customers, but it would be hard to attract new ones.

Malone said he doesn't have concrete data, but before the outbreaks, he'd personally observed minimal interaction between customers and servers, almost no managerial supervision, and employees unfazed by long wait times.

Then the outbreaks — and the fact that the company couldn't pinpoint their source — called into question Chipotle's core competency. Suddenly the company had nothing going for it.

"In the absence of knowing really anyone at Chipotle, or what they care about, or having any relationship with them," Malone said, "we're more likely to assume the worst intention." Customers might think the company was cutting corners or even that it had malevolent intentions.

"Whereas if we know someone, we're more likely to consider that they maybe had good intentions and just slipped up in that instance," he added.

In "The Human Brand," Malone and Fiske explain that corporate mess-ups can be opportunities for brands to increase customer loyalty by demonstrating that they're human and therefore fallible like anyone else. But Malone said the company hasn't done a great job of demonstrating its warmth even after the outbreaks.

For example, the company recently released an animated short film, about two kids selling orange juice and lemonade who grow up and try to beat each other's businesses by adding artificial ingredients to their beverages. In the end, they go back to their roots and focus on fresh, whole food.

The problem, Malone said, is that the (admittedly adorable) film focuses on food, and not people. Instead of trying to seem warmer, Chipotle tried to seem more competent — but that isn't the real issue.

If Chipotle wants to bolster its image among consumers, it needs to "put more of a human face on the company," Malone said. But he's skeptical that it would be able to do that.

"It's human nature for us to forgive those people," he added. "But we don't have a lot of trust and forgiveness for faceless monoliths."

SEE ALSO: A Harvard psychologist says people judge you based on 2 criteria when they first meet you

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NOW WATCH: Chipotle shut down a restaurant after an employee norovirus outbreak

If you start researching the science of romantic attraction, you might easily come to the conclusion that dating is impossible.

As in, you want to play hard to get, but only if you know for sure that the person is interested in you. Looking ashamed is sexy. Oh, and a great way for guys to look hotter is to already have a girlfriend.

Seriously?

So it comes as little surprise that scientists recently discovered a trait that can make people despise you can also help you land a long-term relationship.

That trait is being concerned about the environment.

Research suggests that, when you take environmentalism to an extreme — by organizing protests and rallies, for example — you may turn people off. But in smaller doses, environmentalism can help you make a friend — and find love.

A 2013 study found that people were less likely to want to befriend typical environmental activists, like protesters, than atypical environmentalists, like those who fundraised for relevant causes. They also ascribed to environmentalists a bunch of negative traits, such as "unhygienic" and "crazy."

Meanwhile, a 2016 study found that buying eco-friendly products — small-scale environmentalism — can be appealing.

For the study, researchers recruited 531 people to read descriptions of men and women who'd made different purchases. In some cases, the person in the description had made an eco-friendly purchase; in other cases they'd made a luxury purchase. Sometimes the purchase was relatively expensive; other times it was relatively inexpensive.

All participants were asked to guess how the purchaser rated on different personality traits and to indicate whether they'd be interested in pursuing that person for a short-term sexual relationship and long-term relationship.

Results showed that those who made eco-friendly purchases were more desirable for a long-term relationship. They were also rated higher on positive traits, like warmth and competence.

The catch? Participants guessed that the eco-friendly folk were less attractive and generally less desirable for short-term relationships.

To recap: Dating, and being a person in general, is hard. You can drive yourself crazy figuring out how much to advocate for the environment in order to attract friends, flings, and romantic partners — or you can just do what feels right for you.

Ultimately, if someone doesn't like you because you bought a fancy watch, or because you marched in a climate-change protest, they might not be the right person for you anyway.

SEE ALSO: 14 surprising psychological reasons someone might fall in love with you

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NOW WATCH: Scientists say this personality trait makes women more attractive

Supermodel Miranda Kerr and Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel are engaged — and the soon-to-be-newlyweds announced the big news with (what else?) a Snapchat filter.

The couple have been dating for one year, though they were friends before their relationship began, US Weekly reports. Kerr posted the news today on her Instagram and in a Snapchat story. 

 "They are extremely happy," a rep for Spiegel told the Daily Mail. 

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NOW WATCH: Watch a man propose to his girlfriend underwater surrounded by sharks

Here at Business Insider, we talk a lot about leadership strategies and how to manage the people who report to you.

Yet, as most workers know, it's just as important to learn how to manage the people above you. That doesn't mean giving your boss deadlines or letting them know when they're wrong — instead, it's about learning what they really care about and then making sure you deliver on that.

The term is "managing up," and Dave Kerpen, founder and CEO of software company Likeable Local, knows a lot about it. In his new book, "The Art of People," Kerpen explains how he learned to manage up early in his career, and how he expects his team to do the same today.

While working at Radio Disney, Kerpen infuriated his manager, Sam, when he consistently showed up late to work. Sam explained that it was disrespectful to him and the rest of the staff when Kerpen showed up late.

Once Kerpen realized that it was respect that was important to Sam, he came up with a plan that would make his life and Sam's life easier.

Here's what he said: "I'm just not a morning person, Sam. But I have a lot of respect for you and want to do right by you. I'm happy to work late every night, so instead of staying until 5, I can stay until 6 or 6:30."

Immediately, Sam came up with an idea: Kerpen would start at 9:30 and work until 6, instead of showing up at 9 and working until 5:30.

After that conversation, Kerpen would still sometimes show up late. But apparently, Sam didn't mind. Kerpen writes that it was because he took the focus off himself and put it on Sam, and he let Sam come up with an idea to solve the problem.

Essentially, Kerpen had gotten inside Sam's head to figure out what he really wanted from Kerpen.

"Think of managing up as the 'Platinum Rule' for organizations," Kerpen writes. "Think like your manager and you will reap the benefits of getting your way when you need it most."

In an interview with Business Insider, Kerpen said that managing up isn't at all about kissing up to your manager: "It's about helping your manager look great to his or her manager. And ultimately by doing that you're going to position yourself better for success."

He recommends either asking your boss directly what's important to them or subtly trying to figure it out on your own.

Today, Kerpen said he expects his team at Likeable Local to manage up to him.

Kerpen cares a lot about making sure his employees look polished and come prepared when they present at Monday morning companywide meetings.

"I have my head of marketing show up late Tuesday through Friday and I don't really care, honestly, as long as Monday morning she's there and delivering a great report."

The point is that, often, to perform well at work, you have to first figure out what performing well really means to the person evaluating you.

"It's not just about doing your job," Kerpen said. "It's about doing your job in a way that'll help your manager feel really good about his or her job and that he or she is doing really well."

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There are lots of "rules" out there about love and relationships.

If you just went on a date, wait three days before texting or calling. If you're fighting, you're toast. If it's over, write down your feelings.

Unfortunately, if you dig into the science behind dating and romance, you'll learn that many of these rules are based on complete misconceptions.

Below, we've busted 10 of the most common myths and explained why they're totally wrong.

SEE ALSO: 9 things that can make you less attractive, according to science

Myth: You can't make yourself more attractive

Hold off on the cosmetic surgery — scientists say beauty isn't just a function of your appearance.

In fact, the difference between looking hot or not can be as simple as the color of your shirt, whether you own a pet, or your musical ability.

To heterosexual women, certain personality traits can be even more meaningful than a man's physical attractiveness.

Myth: Men don't like when women ask them on a date

Dating site Match told Business Insider that straight women initiate only 18% of emails between straight women and straight men on Match.

If that's because those women are afraid of coming off too strong, here's a wake-up call: Another Match survey found that 90% of American men (not just Match users) say they'd be comfortable with a woman asking them out.

Myth: Just journaling your thoughts can help you get over a breakup

A tear-stained notebook page isn't necessarily the solution to getting over your ex.

In fact, a 2012 study found that simply writing about your thoughts surrounding a breakup can make you feel worse than when you started.

But more recent research suggests that a specific type of journal entry can help you move on: a "redemptive narrative," or a story that outlines how you turned suffering into a positive experience.

For example, one person in the study who wrote in a redemptive-narrative style said, "‘I am really sad that we broke up, but maybe it's for the best. I am better off without somebody who doesn't treat me right."

In my book, "Change Your Habits, Change Your Life," I highlight one of the most important factors to success: the importance of being liked.

In my Rich Habits Study, where I interviewed 233 wealthy individuals (177 of which were self-made millionaires) with at least $160,000 in annual gross income and $3.2 million in net assets, I found:

• 95% of the self-made millionaires in my study indicated that being liked was critical to their success.
• 94% of the self-made millionaires avoided gossip because they believe gossip caused people to dislike them and, thus, destroyed relationships.
• 86% of the self-made millionaires avoided associating with people they did not like.

As it turns out, the rich in my study were on to something big. According to a Columbia University study by Melinda Tamkins cited in Tim Sanders' "The Likeability Factor," success in the workplace is guaranteed not by what or whom you know but by your popularity.

In her study, Tamkins found that, “popular workers were seen as trustworthy, motivated, serious, decisive and hardworking and were recommended for fast-track promotion and generous pay increases. Their less-liked colleagues were perceived as arrogant, conniving and manipulative. Pay rises and promotions were ruled out regardless of their academic background or professional qualifications.”

You’re probably familiar with the phrase, “there’s safety in numbers.” One of the key factors responsible for the incredible success of the human race has been our ability to form social groups. In the early days of human existence, those who were not part of a group became food for predators. Isolation almost certainly spelled death. Being part of a group was so critical to our survival as a species that it became hardwired into our DNA over the past ten million years.

When someone says, “I like you,” either directly or indirectly (good gossip), it changes how you view that person. You can get people to do almost anything you want if they like you and they know you like them. Our lizard brains put people we like and who like us at the front of the line. So, if you like someone, let them know. They will bend over backwards to help you succeed in life.

How do you get people to like you?

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Meet or exceed their expectations

In the work environment, meeting or exceeding the expectations of others builds trust and respect and creates likeability.

Recognize life events

We all have events in our life that are important to us. Birth or a child or grandchild, marriage, death of a loved one, receiving an award, children graduating from college, promotions, etc. When you acknowledge the life events of others that creates likeability. Phone calls are best, but thank you cards or letters will also do the trick.

Avoid saying what’s on your mind

Saying what’s on your mind can damage relationships. Not every thought needs to come out of your mouth. Individuals who vet their thoughts and are cautious about the words they use put others at ease and this creates likeability.

Two Olympic teammates will soon become mates for life.

Team USA announced that rowers Katelin Snyder and Nareg Guregian, who will both be competing at the summer games in Rio de Janeiro, are engaged — and planning to get married four months after the Olympics.

Snyder is the coxswain of the women’s eight boat, while Guregian will compete in the men’s pair. The athletes met in Princeton, New Jersey, in 2013, and Guregian asked her out the day after they met. But there was some confusion at first.

"Halfway through dinner, I had to tell her it was a date," he said.

The pair went on to have more successful dates — and eventually, in 2015, Guregian proposed. Being both teammates and a couple has worked out well for them. 

"She’d help keep me motivated and focused on the end goal and focused on how to achieve that goal, not just saying, 'You’re great, you’re going to do it,' but more, 'Hey, if you want to get better, you have to do this, this and this,'" Guregian said. "She’s always been really honest with me, and that’s what I appreciate about her."

Both of the athletes are preparing for Rio, and Snyder's team is even favored to win gold at the upcoming games, according to Team USA. But with their Florida wedding coming up at the end of the year, they're also in the midst of wedding planning.

"There have definitely been times, mostly for me, where we’ll be talking and I can’t focus on what she’s saying for about five seconds because all I can think is, 'We’re going to Rio,'" Guregian said. "I have to stop her and say, 'We’re going to Rio.' I’m probably annoying her, but I don’t care."

Guregian added that 2016 is shaping up to be an epic year for the couple, and he can't imagine things getting any better.

"This year has been pretty awesome. I don’t know, maybe next year we’ll win $500 million in the lottery. That’d be up there. Other than that, I can’t really imagine too many things topping it," he said.

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As someone who wound up marrying her best friend, I can tell you that marriage is pretty great, at least in my limited experience.

And luckily for me, a recent study on marital satisfaction released by the National Bureau of Economic Research and previously reported on by Business Insider suggests that the happiest people are those who are married to their best friends.

But this article isn't about me rubbing your nose in my smugness — in fact, it's about providing a balanced view of how marriage impacts your success, since we already looked at the positives.

So, without further ado, here are seven ways being married could make you less successful:

SEE ALSO: 7 ways being married makes you more successful

DON'T MISS: 5 ways being single could sabotage your success

Married people tend to be less social

Your network of relationships, among other things, can help you find jobs and make you happier happier, healthier, and more open to insights.

Unfortunately for married people, research suggests that, compared to single people, married Americans are less likely to support and stay in touch with their family or help, encourage, and socialize with friends and neighbors.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics' Time Use Survey, married people spend on average 7.8 minutes a day keeping in touch by calling, emailing, or mailing them, while single Americans spend on average 12 minutes a day staying in touch with other people.

Married people tend to have less time to themselves

New York University sociologist and "Going Solo" author Eric Klinenberg believes that, in the age of expanding digital media and growing connectedness, being single offers a clear advantage that married people miss out on: more restorative solitude.

More alone time helps people discover who they are and what gives their life meaning and purpose, he explains.

"Living alone helps us pursue sacred modern values — individual freedom, personal control, and self-realization — whose significance endures from adolescence to our final days," Klinenberg writes.

Married people tend to spend less time on leisure

Whether conducted in solitude or with other people, married people tend to spend less time on overall leisure activities than single people.

According to the BLS, married people spend on average 4.87 hours a day on overall leisure activities, compared to single people, who spend an average 5.56 hours a day on leisure.

Broken down even further, married people spend on average about 3 minutes less a day participating in sports, exercise, and recreation than single people, about 16 minutes less a day watching TV, and about 15 minutes less a day playing games and on leisurely computer use.

Getting to know one another is fundamental to starting any close relationship.

Thinking back to the first dates many of us have had, we probably started with very important questions such as “Why did you join Tinder?” or “Why exactly did I swipe right?”

As we delved deeper into the conversation, we may have discussed sequentially deeper topics such as whether we would like to be famous, what a “perfect day” may be, or even sharing embarrassing moments (my answers to this final question are probably responsible for a myriad of failed first dates).

These questions (and more) came from an actual study which explored the generation of interpersonal closeness in the laboratory.¹ Although conversations come in many forms, they are generally characterized by some form of reciprocity.

In other words, we typically take turns asking and answering questions with another person during interactions.

But we may also find ourselves interacting with someone who is more of a “chatty Kathy” who does all of the talking, or someone who just sits in silence listening to you.

Would such one-way interactions end in a disaster, or does engaging in any form of self-disclosure, whether it is just listening or talking, still hold the power to lead to interaction number two? That is the question that my colleague Dr. Sue Sprecher and I set to answer in a recent study.²

We invited two people (who did not know one another) into the laboratory to engage in two brief interactions over a webcam. You may be wondering why we chose to use a webcam instead of having people talk face-to-face. The webcam allowed us to maintain control of a number of possible extraneous influences that could affect our results — such as body language, posture, and anything else that may influence the interaction beyond our primary manipulation: whether people asked and answered questions reciprocally (i.e., taking turns asking and answering a set of questions), or whether one person engaged in one role at a time (listener vs. talker).

Importantly, the dyads interacted twice, so both persons in the non-reciprocity condition received a chance to ask questions and to answer them, thus achieving at least some balance in disclosure. After each interaction, we asked participants how much they liked their partners, how fun their interactions were, how much they thought their partners liked them, and how responsive they believed their interaction partners to be.

What did we learn from this study? First, reciprocating self-disclosure did promote liking: partners who took turns asking and answering questions liked each other more than partners who engaged in only one role (though that is not to say that these dyads did not like one another). Reciprocating dyads also had more fun in the interaction, believed their partner liked them more, and even perceived more reciprocity in their partner than did the dyads that engaged in one role at a time.

We also wondered why reciprocity in disclosure facilitates more liking than engaging in only one of the two disclosing roles. This is where our measurement of interaction enjoyment, perceptions of being liked by the other, and perceived responsiveness came into play. We saw that all of these variables uniquely explained the difference in liking we saw between the two disclosure conditions. For example, because people found that engaging in reciprocal disclosure was more fun than non-reciprocal disclosure, they liked each other more.

What is the moral of the story? Simply put, don’t do all the talking, and don’t just sit there without saying a word. A conversation is a two-player game, and both people have to be engaged and responsive to have a good time with one another. Even generally innocuous questions can go a long way, and if you reciprocate them, then you may very well get swiped right again.

1. Aron, A., Melinat, E., Aron, E. N., Vallone, R. D., & Bator, R. J. (1997). The experimental generation of interpersonal closeness: A procedure and some preliminary findings. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23, 363-377.

2. Sprecher, S., & Treger, S. (2015). The benefits of turn-taking reciprocal self-disclosure in get-acquainted interactions. Personal Relationships, 22, 460-475.

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