Asking someone on a date is objectively less difficult than starting a fire from twigs or sending a rocket ship to the moon. 

And yet, over the course of human history, we've managed to figure out the latter two pretty well, while the first is still somewhat of a problem area.

That's probably because there's no one, right way to say, "I'm into you." But there are ways to avoid making a fool of yourself when you do it.

According to relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author of "It's Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date," it's all about confidence. We consulted Syrtash on the best way to communicate your romantic feelings un-sheepishly — whether the object of your affection is a stranger on the train or one of your oldest friends.

Here's what she told us.

If the person is someone you just met: 

Unless you want to end up in Craigslist's "Missed Connections," don't let that person you met on the line at the drugstore or at the bus stop get away.

The first step, Syrtash said, is looking for signs that the person is unavailable, like a ring. But if you can't see anything, don't ask, "Are you single?" They'll let you know.

Then say: "I would love to get to know you. Would you be open to going out for a drink with me?"

Make sure to be confident and friendly; keep your body language open; and maintain eye contact. In this situation, your delivery is just as important as your language, Syrtash said. 

Remember: Worst-case scenario, they'll decline, and you'll probably never see them again.

If the person is a friend:

This scenario is a bit more high-stakes than asking out a total stranger, because you don't want to jeopardize your friendship. That's why Syrtash recommends trying to suss out whether your friend might be interested in you, too.

For example, if they only invite you over to build furniture and they're always talking about their crushes, you might want to ask yourself if it's really a good idea to ask them out.

Another strategy is to start dropping hints before asking them out and see how they respond. You might try flirting more or touching them gently, for example by putting your hand on the small of their back. 

If it seems like they're responding positively, you can take the plunge by saying something like: "I need to tell you something and I feel a bit vulnerable right now. I would love to take you on a romantic date — not a friend date — and just see what happens. Would you be up for that?"

Remember, Syrtash said, that it's okay to be vulnerable. But it's still important to maintain confidence — if your feelings aren't reciprocated, that doesn't make you a fool. It just makes you a human being.

SEE ALSO: Here's exactly what to say in 10 of the most awkward moments you'll have in a new relationship

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NOW WATCH: What you should talk about on a first date, according to research

There's a reason why people end up saying things like, "It's not you, it's me" and "Just give me one more chance!" during a breakup.

Even if you've seen the conversation coming for weeks or months already — and especially if you haven't — you can be left teary and tongue-tied when the moment arrives.

Which is why it helps to have on hand some more constructive phrases, and a general idea of how you might handle the situation without coming off as disingenuous or desperate.

Business Insider consulted relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author of "It's Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date," for some of those phrases and strategies to use when you're breaking up with someone after a few months. Here's what she told us. 

If you're being dumped and it's a total surprise: 

Syrtash emphasized that there's no one, blanket statement that can make a breakup less awkward for the person on the receiving end. Even if you do have a stock answer ready for the moment, you'll probably be so upset that it won't come out right.

Instead, you might say something like, "I was on a different page. It would be helpful for me to know how long you've been feeling this way."

Syrtash said the top complaint she hears from clients who have just broken up with someone is that they have unanswered questions.

That's why she said it's okay to ask some questions, such as the one about how long the person has known they wanted to break up with you or, "Can you identify why you don't think we're compatible?" It's also okay to express that you're feeling disappointed.

If the person identifies a particular experience that turned them off, you can certainly ask if they want to work on the issue with you — but be prepared for them to say no. Keep in mind, Syrtash said, that the decision to break up doesn't have to be unanimous, so a discussion won't necessarily change the situation.

And remember that it's not always appropriate to ask, "Is there someone else?" You may not get an honest answer. 

If you're dumping someone: 

Oftentimes, Syrtash said, when someone's getting broken up with, their instinct is to show the other person how great they are. Remind them that you're not bringing out their best, and that the relationship isn't healthy for either of you. 

You can say something like: "You deserve to be with someone who brings out the best in you. I don't think we are bringing out each other's best."

Another option here is: "I want the best for you and I don't feel that I can provide it. I feel awful because I care about you a lot, but I need to be honest." 

As hard as this is for you, remember that it's hard for the other person, too. That's why it's important to be patient, and to listen and be kind.

SEE ALSO: Here's exactly what to say in 10 of the most awkward moments you'll have in a new relationship

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NOW WATCH: The largest study on breakups just revealed there’s actually an advantage to being cheated on

The INSIDER Summary:

• Someone who's interested will immediately reschedule a canceled date.
• If they're trying to blow you off, they'll be vague about when you'll see them next.
• Go with your gut, and if all else fails, just ask whether they're feeling it.

You're trying to plan a date, but your schedules just don't line up. When you do finally find a time that works, they have to cancel. What's the deal? Are they busy but genuinely interested, or are they avoiding you and trying to let you down easy?

Susan Winter, author and relationship expert, spoke to INSIDER about how to tell the difference.

Someone who's interested will immediately reschedule a canceled date.

Canceling a date doesn't necessarily indicate cold feet. If they follow up right away to set up another time, they still want to make it happen.

"They'll get back to you immediately: 'I can't do Thursday, sorry, the project is going so late. How is Sunday? Are you okay with Sunday? How about Tuesday next week?'" said Winter. "They'll be very specific."

They'll also apologize profusely.

Someone who is genuinely interested doesn't want to seem cavalier.

"The serious person is extremely apologetic," she said. "Their number one focus is that you're not upset, that you don't think they're a flake, and they're trying desperately to make it up to you with a concrete plan at a future time."

Someone who's not interested will be vague.

Winter said that lies are often more detailed than a simple bit of truth. If they spin a tale of epic proportions about why they can't make it, they're probably looking for an easy out.

"They make up these elaborate stories and they'll be vague on when the next scheduled appointment will be," she said. "They'll say things like 'Talk soon' or 'Let's touch base next week.'"

They'll also call you when they know you're not available — or when they can't talk for long.

Calling you at an odd time when no reasonable person is awake or when they're about to board a plane means they don't really want to talk at all.

"It's to keep it short, it's to keep you distanced," she said.

Trust your gut.

"New relationships can have hiccups, and the hiccups can look a lot like hot and cold or game playing," she said. "People are scared. It's a territory where we're known to get our feelings hurt. There's a lot of missteps and miscommunication."

While the early stages of a budding romance can plague even the most self-assured people with doubts about their next move, Winter advises going with your gut feeling.

"You have a very good sense of whether your partner is interested," she said. "You're going to feel it. There are your fears that you have that you know, but then there's your gut reaction that's going to be guiding you."

If all else fails, just ask where they're at.

"Just ask them straight up, 'Hey, you into this?'" she said. "It puts them on the spot, but at least you get resolution."

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NOW WATCH: People with these personality traits have more and better sex

The INSIDER Summary:

• Take time to appreciate your partner by saying "thank you."
• Fight fair, with honesty and open communication.
• Keep things fresh with regular date nights.

What's the secret to a long, strong, and happy marriage?

There are probably endless answers, but the fact remains that any committed relationship takes work.

The good news is that not all of that work has to be difficult. Relationship expert and bestselling author Susan Winter spoke to INSIDER about six easy things you can do to help your marriage thrive.

Take up a new hobby or project together

Maybe you've been meaning to turn that boring patch of grass by your front door into a garden. Maybe you want to take up salsa dancing. Whatever it is, trying something new together strengthens your bond.

"You don't want to be the couple that has nothing to say at the table for dinner because they've said everything for the last 20 years," said Winter. "You want to have fresh conversation— what you learned in art class or what you're learning in the business that you're starting."

Fight fair

Disagreeing is fine, even healthy. It's how you work your way out of a squabble that matters. According to Winter, honesty and open communication are crucial ingredients to a productive argument.

"When something comes up, you and your mate will be able to come to some form of clear, tangible resolution," she said.

Travel together

It doesn't have to take an international flight or an exotic locale for a couple fall for each other all over again. Even a day trip to an unfamiliar neighborhood or an afternoon hike on a new trail can serve as a welcome change from routine outings.

"Oftentimes you hear couples talk about how they do the same things, and they have the same married friends that they go out with," said Winter. "Anything that breaks the pattern of the habits that we get into as a couple or as a family is going to add excitement."

The INSIDER Summary:

• Ditch "rules" about how long to wait before calling or texting and just be natural.
• Be direct and proactive. If you want something, ask for it.
• Stay true to yourself and focus on what you want.

Dating is complicated enough without tripping over tons of extraneous "rules" about how relationships are supposed to work. (Who made those rules, anyway?)

Author and relationship expert Susan Winter shared the only guidelines you should follow in order to create the relationship you want.

Customize your relationship

Whether you want to stick to standard dating conventions or shake things up, Winter encourages an "à la carte" relationship model.

"Take the pieces that you liked of the traditional, that feel right and good for you, keep the sweetness, [and] create a new model that's flexible and grows," she said. "It's your creation."

Forget the "rules" about when to call or text

Ditch those "rules" about how long to wait before calling or texting and don't overthink it. If you had a good time, let your date know in a way that feels unstilted.

"Whether it's the 'two-day rule' or the 'one-week rule', that formula is guaranteed to backfire," she said. "The unedited, natural approach is a far better choice."

Don't skimp on respect

It's called "The Golden Rule" for a reason. Being a decent human being never goes out of style.

"Today's dating protocol is far more relaxed than in former generations, but that doesn't mean it should be stripped of polite behavior, kindness, respect, and thoughtfulness," she said.

1990 was a year of life and death for Clark Martin. His daughter was born, and he was diagnosed with cancer.

Over the next 20 years, as his daughter took her first steps, experienced her first day of school, and eventually grew into a smart, fiercely independent teenager, doctors waged a blitzkrieg on Martin's body. Six surgeries. Two experimental treatments. Thousands of doctor visits. The cancer never went into remission, but Martin and his doctors managed to keep it in check by staying vigilant, always catching the disease just as it was on the brink of spreading.

Still, the cancer took its toll. Martin was riddled with the effects of anxiety and depression. He had become so focused on saving his body from the cancer that he hadn't made time for the people and things in his life that really mattered. His relationships were in shambles; he and his daughter barely spoke.

So in 2010, after reading an article in a magazine about a medical trial that involved giving people with cancer and anxiety the drug psilocybin— the active ingredient in the psychedelic drug magic mushrooms — he contacted the people running the experiment and asked to be enrolled.

After weeks of lengthy questionnaires and interviews, he was selected. On a chilly December morning, Martin walked into the facility at Johns Hopkins, where he was greeted by two researchers, including Bill Richards, a psychologist. The three of them sat and talked in the room for half an hour, going over the details of the study and what might happen. Martin was just one participant in a large, five-year study done at Johns Hopkins and New York University which aimed to look at the effect of psilocybin on cancer patients with anxiety and depression. That study's promising results have prompted some researchers to liken the treatment to a "surgical intervention."

The trip

In the homey facility at Johns Hopkins, Martin received a pill, which he swallowed with a glass of water. For study purposes, he couldn't know whether it was a placebo or psilocybin, the drug the researchers aimed to study.

Next, he lay back on the couch, covered his eyes with the soft shades he'd been given, and waited.

Within a few minutes, Martin began to feel a sense of intense panic.

"It was quite anxiety-provoking," he said. "I tried to relax and meditate, but that seemed to make it worse, and I just wanted everything to snap back into place. There was no sense of time, and I realized the drug was in me and there was no stopping it."

Martin, an avid sailor, told me it reminded him of a frightening experience he'd had when, after a wave knocked him off his boat, he suddenly became disoriented and lost track of the boat, which was floating behind him.

"It was like falling off the boat in the open ocean, looking back, and the boat is gone," he said. "And then the water disappears. Then you disappear."

Martin was terrified and felt on the verge of a "full-blown panic attack." Thanks to the comfort and guidance of his doctors, however, he was eventually able to calm down. Over the next few hours, the terror vanished. It was replaced with a sense of tranquility that Martin still has trouble putting into words.

"With the psilocybin, you get an appreciation — it's out of time — of well-being, of simply being alive and a witness to life and to everything and to the mystery itself," said Martin.

'Relationships are pretty much spontaneous if you're just present'

Lots of things happened to Martin during his four-hour trip. For a few hours, he remembers feeling at ease; he was simultaneously comfortable, curious, and alert. He recalls a vision of being in a sort of cathedral, where he asked God to speak to him. More than anything else, though, he no longer felt alone.

"The whole 'you' thing just kinda drops out into a more timeless, more formless presence," Martin said.

As his trip slowly began to draw to a close and he began to return to reality, Martin recalls a moment when the two worlds — the one in which he was hallucinating and the reality he could call up from memory — seemed to merge. He turned his attention to his relationships. He thought of his daughter, his friends, his coworkers.

"In my relationships, I had always approached it from a 'How do I manage this?' How do I present myself?' 'Am I a good listener?' type of standpoint," Martin said. "But it dawned on me as I was coming out of [the trip] that relationships are pretty much spontaneous if you're just present and connecting."

That shift, which Martin said has deepened since he took the psilocybin in 2010, has had enduring implications for his relationships.

"Now if I'm meeting people, the default is to be just present — not just physically, but mentally present to the conversation," he said. "That switch has been profound."

While he felt himself undergo a shift during his trip on psilocybin, Martin says the most enduring changes in his personality and his approach to interacting with those around him unfolded long after he took the drug. For him, the drug was merely a catalyst — a "kick-start," he likes to call it. By redirecting his perspective for a few hours, the psilocybin unleashed a chain reaction in the way he sees and approaches the world.

The trip "kind of opened up a more intuitive brain processing that I wasn’t fully aware was there," said Martin.

SEE ALSO: A psychedelics expert says magic mushrooms will be approved for depression by 2027 — here's why

DON'T MISS: Why psychedelics like magic mushrooms kill the ego and fundamentally transform the brain

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NOW WATCH: What magic mushrooms do to your brain and state of mind

It's the holiday of love and finding that perfect gift for the man and woman in your life can add up. The US Census Bureau estimates the billions of dollars of Valentine's Day products shipped throughout the U.S. on February 14.

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The INSIDER Summary:

•Millennials are living in the supposed "dating apocalypse" right now.
• Majority of Americans say online dating is a good way to meet people. 
• A survey conducted reveals that millennials are having less sex than previous generations.
• Gender equality is at making strides in the dating world.

Whenever my friends in long-term relationships give me dating advice, I often think, hmm that sounds rational but they also don't really "get" what it's like to be a single in America 2017. The dating climate is definitely a lot different than it was five years ago. For starters, you've probably heard a lot about the "hookup culture", but also how Millennials are having less sex than previous generations. You may have heard about the "dating apocalypse", but also how dating apps are more popular than ever in the U.S. and that the majority of Americans say online dating is a good way to meet people. You may believe that we're all still in touch with our exes and past partners due to our obsession with social media and our smartphones, but we're also all ghosting, zombieing, benching, and breadcrumbing each other. So, yeah, being single right now is, well, complicated af.

Luckily, Match just released its seventh annual Singles in America survey, the nation’s largest, most comprehensive annual survey of single people living in the U.S., to set the record straight about what it's really like to be single now across the country. The survey, conducted in December 2016, includes responses from a demographically representative sample of 5,509 single men and women, ages 18 -70+. From our attitudes about sex to the latest dating trends, the survey covers it all — and there's some good news for feminist singles.

“The annual Singles in America study has once again uncovered some remarkable new trends — including men’s overwhelmingly positive view of feminism and feminists, in the boardroom and the bedroom," Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Scientific Advisor to Match said in a press release. "We’ve captured the great spring forward in gender equality."

Here are the major takeaways from the survey:

1. What We Really Judge Potential Dates On

When it comes to making assumptions about potential first dates, what holds the most weight? Considering we're meeting so many people online instead of IRL, it makes sense that someone's online behavior holds the most weight.

The most important? It's a tie between someone's social media posts and their photos. Next comes their grammar, then their teeth/smile, and next up is their outfit.

2. How We Really Feel About Modern Dating

Technology, instant gratification, swiping left and right — what's it all doing to us? Match's survey reveals it's got us somewhere in between being hooked and totally fatigued.

While 15 percent of singles say they feel addicted to the process of looking for a date, it's Millennials who are feeling the most obsessed. In fact, 125 percent of Gen Y are more likely to say they feel addicted to dating than older generations. While men are 97 percent more likely to feel addicted to dating than women, 54 percent of women feel more burned out. I hear you, ladies.

 3. How We're Meeting Our Partners

With online dating being bigger than ever, many wonder exactly how well it really works in the grand scheme of things. In 2016, I went on 15 first dates and 12 of them were from dating apps. But it all depends on what you consider effective and what you're looking to get out of it: Hookups? Dates? Long-term relationships? Marriage?

While last year Pew found that five percent of Americans who are married or in a committed relationship say they met their partner online, 88 percent say they met their spouse offline.

But if you're curious about how singles are finding dates, Match found that 40 percent of singles have dated someone they met online, while only 25 percent met a first date through a friend. In fact, Millennials are 75 percent more likely than Boomers to have dated someone online, and 57 percent more likely than those of other generations to have created a profile on a dating app.

4. How We Feel About Using Our Phones On First Dates

We may be "meeting" our dates on our phones, but that doesn't mean we want our phones out when we're meeting them IRL. Seventy-five percent of singles are turned off if you answer your phone without offering any explanation while on a date. Sixty-six percent will get annoyed if you text someone during a date and 58 percent don’t even want you to place your phone on the table face up.

What if you get a text or two during the date? You'll piss off 57 percent of singles. And don't take it with you to the bathroom either — and 41 percent that's pretty rude too.

5. Feminism FTW

While gender equality has made significant improvements, we still have a ways to go, as evidenced by the actions (and comments) by Trump and his administration's first two weeks in office. But the good news is that gender equality is at least making strides in the dating world.

Fifty-nine percent of single men think that feminism "has changed the dating rules for the better," saying that dating is now safer, more enjoyable, and easier. Most single women think the rise of gender equality has made them pickier and more empowered in their dating life.

6. How We Feel About Traditional Dating Rules

Putting more outdated gender roles to bed, hetero single men are majorly in favor of women asking for their number, are the first to call after a good date initiate the first kiss, and initiate sex for the first time. Take that, The Rules!

But here's where the discrepancy comes in: hetero women aren't taking advantage of it. Only 29 percent of women initiate the first kiss or sex for the first time (23 percent). And, only 13 percent ask a guy for his number.

7. Politics Matters

Remember that "rule" about not discussing politics on a first date? Well, eff that. The 2016 election was an unavoidable topic of discussion on every one of my first dates in the past year — and I'm happy it came up. And it looks like I'm not alone.

When it came to the biggest turnoffs, who you voted for was almost just as important as to whether you even voted. Forty-four percent of singles dislike those who voted for Trump, and 42 percent aren't interested in those who did not vote in the Presidential election.

8. How We Feel About Sex On The First Date

While Millennials are actually less interested in sex than Baby Boomers, that doesn't mean they abide by a three-date rule or some other BS about when it's "OK" to sleep with someone.

One in three singles have had sex before a first date and single Millennials are 48 percent more likely to have had sex before a first date than all other generations. Match theorized that Millennials are using sex to interview someone before committing further energy to dating them (time saver?) or to try to turn a hookup into a relationship.

9. Where We Meet IRL

The survey also looked into where singles flirt offline, because oddly enough, that seems harder to do these days. The bar took the top spot, with 64 percent saying they meet there. Next up was the laundromat at (43 percent,) and the gym (43 percent). GTL was on to something.

10. What Are We Looking For?

The answer's not that simple. According to the survey, Thirty-five percent of single men think casual sex can be exciting and 18 of single women say the same, and 29 percent of men and 15 percent of women say a one-night-stand can be the best sex.

As for Millennials, living in the supposed "dating apocalypse" they're actually 30 percent more likely than any other generation to want to find a relationship in 2017.

Check out the rest of the survey to learn more about what it's like to be single and dating in 2017, because our lives are a lot more complex then a catchy phrase.

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NOW WATCH: 1,500 happily-married people say the key to lasting relationships isn’t communication — it’s respect

Valentine's Day is nearing, signaling a looming romantic milestone for any new couple. It made us want to get to the bottom of a tricky relationship question.

When is the optimal time to start being sexually intimate in a relationship?

The answer, like many relationships, is complicated, spanning anywhere from a few dates to a few months after dating.

One of the reasons it's so hard to determine the best time in a relationship to have sex is because there hasn't been a lot of research tackling that specific question. Plus, studies that have been conducted feature very specific samples, mainly college-age men and women and married heterosexual couples.

Few studies have taken a look at the health of a relationship as it relates to when the couple first had sex. And what's out there is somewhat conflicting.

What we know about commitment and sex

In the early 2000s, Illinois State University communications professor Sandra Metts performed a study to find out whether having an emotional connection — in particular saying "I love you" before having sex — could have a positive impact on the where the relationship went.

Her study of almost 300 college-age men and women found that it indeed did.

In fact, Metts found, couples that had sex first and said "I love you" after had a negative experience: The introduction of that conversation was often awkward and apologetic.

Though not a clear indicator of the exact timing to have sex, Metts' study did provide a list of classic steps partners should take before they get physical, including first getting to know the person, sharing a first kiss, and then building to an expression of commitment. That emotional connection is one of the key elements of any relationship, Toni Coleman, a psychotherapist from the Washington, DC, area, told Business Insider in 2015.

Having a good level of communication and an understanding of where the relationship is headed also helps make sure the experience is positive, she said, referring to her professional experience working with single men and women working toward successful relationships.

Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist from California, agreed that being on the same page emotionally is helpful for finding the best time to start having sex.

"The most important thing is you both agree not to push,"he told Business Insider in 2015. "Be clear that the person is comfortable."

In other words, it's best to wait at least a little bit, at least until you're comfortable with each other and have a better picture of what each person wants in the relationship. But when it comes to how long you wait, that depends.

Option 1: Wait as long as possible

In 2010, Dean Busby, the director of the school of family life at Brigham Young University, performed a study that suggested that the longer you delay sex — especially if you wait until marriage — the more stable and satisfying your relationship will be.

Brigham Young University, which funded Busby's research, is owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which isn't a fan of sexual intimacy outside marriage.

At the same time, all social-science studies are somewhat subjective: Many are taken with surveys and interviews, and participants may respond based on what they think the researcher wants to hear.

Option 2: Give it a few months

In Coleman’s experience, and based on the findings of studies, she suggests that at least three months into a relationship — or when it's clear the honeymoon phase of the relationship is over — is the best time to start having sex. The honeymoon period is the first few months of a new relationship, when feelings of attraction are intense and it seems as if the person you're with can do no wrong.

"You move past that, and your feet are more on the ground," she said. "I think that's probably the point at which [Metts' study] said, the couples who waited until that level fared a lot better than people who had sex on the first, second, or third date."

Option 3: Give it a few weeks

Goldsmith disagrees. He thinks the time after the honeymoon period is too late. By then, he says, the strong desire to have sex may have already subsided. And there's data to back him up — a 2012 study on sexual desire found that after the beginning phase of a relationship, sexual desire drops, particularly in women.

In his experience, a total of 36 hours spent together is all it takes. And that 36 hours doesn't have to be consecutive, Goldsmith says — it could be a dinner date plus a weekend afternoon spent together, and so on, until the hours add up. It would probably take a few weeks to add up.

SEE ALSO: How much sex you should be having in a healthy relationship

DON'T MISS: 15 science-backed tips to get someone to fall in love with you

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NOW WATCH: NASA just released over 100 images of Pluto — and the footage is breathtaking

The INSIDER Summary:

• Collette and Scott Stohler travel the world together and write guides for other couples.
• Travel can be stressful, but patience, kindness, and humor keep them strong.
• When traveling as a couple, remember that you're on the same team.

After seven years and 50 countries together, Collette and Scott Stohler know a thing or two about how to travel as a couple without killing each other. Having quit their jobs to travel the world back in 2015, they now share their advice with other roaming couples through detailed guides on their website, Roamaroo. 

The Stohlers spoke to INSIDER from Thailand about how they keep their relationship strong through flight delays and food poisoning, and how you can see the best in your significant other as you see the world together.

Be patient with each other

Jetlag can induce crankiness in even the most agreeable of people. Know that you probably won't be at your best until you've both adjusted to the time change, and treat each other accordingly.

"Both of you need to personally understand that you're probably going to be affected much more than you think you're going to be affected, and you need to be a little more patient," said Scott. "The two of us have learned as we've gone along that there are certain things that will add a little more stress. Travel does that. No matter what, there are problems that are going to arise."

Remember that you're on the same team

Taking out your frustration on your partner for something that's out of their control just makes a bad situation worse.

"If you're a couple, you have to realize that you're in it together," said Scott. "To get mad at the other person because maybe they made a mistake or maybe there was something outside of their control is only going to make the situation worse, and then you're going to ruin the whole purpose of traveling together."

Give passports to one person for safekeeping

Designate one person to hold important documents so that everything you need to keep track of stays in one place.

"That way, you don't have to worry about one person losing their passport and trying to hunt it down," said Scott.

The approach of Valentine's Day can make people do crazy things.

Like, splurge on ridiculously expensive champagne and jewelry for their partner. Or join a flock of tourists at the top of the Empire State Building.

Or ask a total stranger on a date.

If you're in that last category (go you!), there's a right way and a wrong way to go about it.

Jordan Harbinger, host of "The Art of Charm" podcast, shared tips on networking and relationship building, romantic and otherwise. Harbinger appeared on another podcast — "The James Altucher Show"— and gave some pointers on the dilemma mentioned above.

Back when he was single, Harbinger said he spotted a woman on the train who was texting furiously.

"Are you gonna write the whole book on your phone?" he asked her.

It turned out the woman was really open to conversation, and told him how she wanted to text her friend, but there was no service underground, so she was preparing a message she could send as soon as they surfaced. She and Harbinger ended up getting into a discussion about how annoying it would be if there were cell service on the train, and how they appreciated the respite from technology.

The trick here is that Harbinger didn't open with a traditional pick-up line (Altucher suggested, "I didn't get your text. Can you resend it?") or anything that would directly signal his interest.

That's because he put himself in the woman's shoes and tried to figure out what she'd be thinking or worrying about if a random guy started talking to her — he assumed it was safety. So he tried to disarm her.

"That was a pretty nonthreatening general thing to say," he said of the opening line he ended up using. After they established some rapport, he could theoretically ask for her number. (Harbinger didn't reveal on the podcast whether he did that.)

Another trick he sometimes uses?

Instead of speaking directly to the person he's interested in, he'll talk to that person and someone else seated near him. "Now it's just a conversation and I happen to be leading it," he told Altucher.

Interestingly, 2012 research led by Gary Lewandowski at Monmouth University found that students who were mentally exhausted from doing a cognitive exercise right before said they'd be more receptive to "innocuous" openers, like, "Hi, how are you? My name is [their name]."

The mentally exhausted participants said they'd be less likely to respond to "cute" openers, like, ‘"Excuse me, what time is it? I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."

And in general, the study found that women said they'd be more receptive to innocuous opening lines, while men said they'd be more receptive to "direct" openers, like, "I don't normally come up to people like this, but I couldn't resist."

So know that, depending on the person's gender and how frazzled or distracted they are, they might not be totally receptive to your attempt at breaking the ice. Don't push your luck.

Harbinger did tell Altucher to keep in mind that not everyone will be open to conversation. The strategy he's advocating is just a way to boost your chances of getting the object of your affection to talk to you. He told Altucher that getting good at this kind of relationship building ultimately comes down to persistence and patience.

Citing the work of the psychologist Anders Ericsson, he said it's all about "deliberate practice," which involves having a goal and figuring out exactly what went wrong if you don't reach it. What can you say next time that won't put the person on their guard or turn them off?

The takeaway here seems to be that it helps to imagine how you would feel if you were that person and someone approached you while you were going about your business. If you'd feel even a little bit skeeved out by the line you're about to use, it's probably best to find another one.

SEE ALSO: 13 facts about flirting that single — and married — people should know

Join the conversation about this story »

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Some relationship red flags are blatantly obvious. Think along the lines of a partner who is pro-cheating, or perhaps really bad with money.

These issues almost always lead to problems down the road. But sometimes, equally unhealthy red flags can be a lot more subtle.

They may even seem kinda sweet, or totally harmless. And yet, they can still wreak havoc on your relationship.

I'm talking about the bad habits and misunderstandings that — instead of being talked about or examined — are deemed "cute" or "inevitable."

Take, for example, the fact that your partner never ever answers their phone. If communication is important to you (and it should be), this "harmless" red flag can become quite the issue. Same goes for clinginess in a relationship, or your partner's tendency to turn you into the butt of a joke. (Again, kinda cute but definitely not healthy.)

Small issues like these are not only unhealthy in and of themselves, but they can also be a symptom of a bigger problem. As psychologist Dr. Nikki Martinez says, "These problematic behaviors that are often indicative of larger problems and unhealthy functioning and attitudes towards what a relationship and a partner is."

In other words, they may seem harmless, but that doesn't make them OK. Read on for a few more examples, and get ready to talk to your partner should any of them stand out.

1. You constantly catch them checking out other people

We're all human, so it's totally normal to give beautiful strangers the ol' once over. But that doesn't mean your partner should be ogling everyone they see. As Samantha Daniels, professional matchmaker and founder of The Dating Lounge Dating App tells me, this is especially true if your partner seems to have turned up their flirting game. It may be a subtle (or not so subtle?) sign that infidelity is right around the corner.

2. They consistently let you down in little ways

It may not seem like a big deal if your partner doesn't call, or if they forget to text when they said they would. But, as licensed clinical professional counselor Julienne Derichs tells me, little issues like these can add up over time — and can even point to a bigger problem with communication. Since nothing is more important in a relationship, don't let forgotten phone calls or a lack of texts go on ignored.

3. You have yet to meet the fam

Not everyone is close with their family, so it's not the end of the world if you've yet to meet the parents. But if your partner's family is adorably close-knit, and yet you're never invited over, don't feel bad about bringing it up. Your partner should want to show you off, Daniels tells me. An unwillingness to do so may be a sign of an unwillingness to commit. And that can really hurt.

4. You can't stop rolling your eyes

According to Hannum, research has shown that among married couples, eye rolling is often a common predictor of divorce. So take note if your eyes are about to roll right on out of your head. It may mean you've had just about enough of each other.

5. They can't stop talking about their ex

Your partner's ex was a part of their life, so it's normal for them to occasionally come up during the course of conversation. It's not normal, however, for your partner to talk about them 24/7. As Derichs tells me, it may be a sign that they aren't over that relationship, or that the ex has come back into the picture. Whatever the case, it's definitely a red flag worth pointing out.

6. They never post about you online

Every couple is different, so if you two aren't big into sharing your lives online, that's totally OK. But take note if it seems like your partner is keeping you a secret. "If your partner avoids posting couple photos of the two of you but is otherwise active on social media, ask about it," psychologist Antonio Borrello told Brittany Wong, a relationship editor on HuffingtonPost.com. "[It could be they're] hiding you to maintain the appearance of being unattached.” (Yikes.)

7. You have different ideas about money

If you two can't figure out how to split the bill for dinner, how do you expect to make bigger financial decisions down the road? Well, you kind of can't. So pay attention to any money-related misunderstandings that crop up, and talk about them ASAP. According to Hannum, it is possible to (eventually) figure out what's what and come to a healthier financial understanding.

8. They don't respect your personal space

Even though you two have sex and sleep next to each other and share a bathroom, it's still important to respect each other's personal space. So beware a partner who doesn't seem to have any boundaries, or who doesn't listen when you tell them to stop touching you. "This might be a sign they don't respect your right to your own body and could try to push those boundaries to much more dangerous limits in the future," Hannum said.

9. You bicker over everything and anything

Fights and arguments are inevitable in all relationships, so go ahead and hash things out in a healthy way. Don't get stuck, however, in a situation where 24/7 battles begin to feel normal. As Daniels tells me, constant disagreements are often a sign of underlying tension that needs to be discussed.

10. They demand all of your time

Again, this one seems incredibly sweet at first. ("Aww, he/she simply can't get enough of me!") But partners who demand all of your time — especially those who keep you from seeing friends and family — often have more nefarious goals in mind. So take note if they get extra clingy, according to Hannum. It may be time to peace out before things get even more controlling.

The last thing you want to do is ignore red flags such as these. They're there (and bright red) for a reason. So if you spot one, have a talk with your partner as soon as possible. Once your concerns are out in the open, it may be possible to work through them together. Or, it may simply be time to break up.

SEE ALSO: How to tell if your date is into you or just stringing you along

Join the conversation about this story »

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The INSIDER Summary:

• Collette and Scott Stohler write couples travel guides on their website, Roamaroo.
• Their top pick for couples is South Island, New Zealand.
• South Africa, Jordan, and New Orleans also make the top 10.

Solo travel can be a liberating time of self-discovery, but there's nothing quite like seeing the world with your significant other. Even when things don't go according to plan, you find ways of making each other laugh, keeping each other sane, and building an even stronger bond.

Just ask Collette and Scott Stohler, who have been together for seven years and traveled to 50 countries as a couple. Through their couple's travel website, Roamaroo, they recap their own experiences and create romantic itineraries for fellow thrill-seekers. 

Here are their top 10 picks of the best places for couples to travel together.

10. Buenos Aires, Argentina

Why it's great: It's known as the "Paris of the South." Need we say more?

Roamaroo recommends: Visiting the Teatro Colon opera, sipping wine at wine cafes in Malbec, tangoing in the streets of La Boca.

9. Iceland

Why it's great: If there's one place you should visit this year, it's this island full of breathtaking landscapes and hot springs.

Roamaroo recommends: Soaking in the Blue Lagoon, chasing waterfalls on the Ring Road, strolling the streets of Reykjavik.

8. Portugal

Why it's great: The food in Lisbon is unbeatable — and cost-efficient for Westerners.

Roamaroo recommends: Sampling port and chocolate at Kopke House, stopping by the famous Pastéis de Bélem bakery, taking a cooking class with Cooking Lisbon.

What could be more terrifying than talking to someone you're attracted to?

On Valentine's Day, no less?

Luckily, social science has figured out what makes flirting work — or not.

Below, we've rounded up some of the most intriguing findings on the art of flirtation, so you can saunter over to the object of your affection with confidence.

This is an update of an article originally posted by Drake Baer.

SEE ALSO: 15 relationship facts everybody should know before getting married

People flirt for six different reasons

In a 2004 review of the literature on flirting, Northern Illinois University professor David Dryden Henningsen identified six different motivations for the behavior: 

• Sex: trying to get in bed
• Fun: treating it like a sport
• Exploring: trying to see what it would be like to be in a relationship
• Relational: trying to increase the intimacy of a relationship
• Esteem: increasing one's own self esteem
• Instrumental: trying to get something from the other person

In that study, Henningsen asked 101 female and 99 male students to write out a hypothetical flirty conversation between a man and a woman, then identify the motivations for the things they said. 

The behaviors broke down along gender norms: Men were significantly more likely to have a sexual motivation, while women tended to have a relational one.

Couples need to flirt, too

Like Tinder, cats, and dying alone, flirting is usually associated with single people. 

But couples need to know how to flirt, too.

After studying 164 married people for a 2012 study, University of Kentucky researcher Brandi Frisby noted that most of them flirted — by playing "footsies" or whispering in their partner's ear, for example — as a means of maintaining and emphasizing intimacy. Oftentimes, she wrote in her paper, married couples flirted to "create a private world with the spouse." 

Some conversation starters are better than others

For a study in the journal Sex Roles, University of Alaska psychologist Chris L. Kleinke asked 600 respondents to rate the effectiveness of three varieties of opening lines in a flirtatious situation: 

• "Pick-up" lines like "You must be a librarian, because I saw you checking me out" 
• Open-ended, innocuous questions like "What do you think of this band?" or "What team are you rooting for?"
• Direct approaches like "You're cute — can I buy you a drink?" 

The responses were pretty evenly split along gender lines: While the men in the study tended to prefer the more direct approach, the women tended to prefer the open-ended, innocuous questions. Not surprisingly, very few people said they preferred the pick-up lines.

Being with someone for a long time changes the way you see the world.

It also changes you.

More importantly, close relationships may spark an entirely different way of thinking and acting, something Joshua Wolf Shenk, author of "Powers of Two," chalks up to having a "shared mind." Shenk, who has written extensively about psychiatry and psychology for outlets including The Atlantic and The New York Times, also directs the Erikson Prize for Mental Health Media.

So, how do you and your significant other stack up? Check out these signs psychologists have observed in long-term couples that they say point to having such a shared mind.

SEE ALSO: Psychologists say one behavior is the 'kiss of death' for a relationship

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You and your partner develop your own private language.

Ever get a text from your significant other that means absolutely nothing on its own but carries a certain significance that you can't quite explain?

This "insider" language is one of the first signs that the two of you are operating in sync, writes Shenk. According to a study from Robert Hooper, a University of Texas professor of communication, secret communication accomplishes two things: It helps deepen your bond — romantic or platonic — and establishes a unique, shared identity.

Private language can include everything from inside jokes to nicknames, writes Ohio State University psychologist Carol Bruess in a study of romantic couples. Bruess' research suggests a link between how often partners use these private words and how satisfied they are with their relationship. Bruess found that the more often couples used secret words and phrases, the happier they tended to say they were.

You stop self-censoring when you're together.

The way most of us speak with strangers, acquaintances, and even close friends is markedly different from how we talk when we're alone with our partner.

When we're with others, most of us "self-monitor." That is, we try to please the people around us by adapting our behavior to suit theirs.

But when we're with an intimate partner, we often let go of this pattern of behavior and instead "talk fluidly and naturally," Shenk writes. In other words, we stop having to constantly check ourselves before we speak. We're more candid and open.

Many of the pairs Shenk talks to in his book have such a relationship. University of California at Berkeley psychologist Daniel Kahneman, for example, tells Shenk: "Like most people, I am somewhat cautious about exposing tentative thoughts to others." But after he'd spent a few years working with his research partner, cognitive psychologist Amos Tversky, "this caution was completely absent."

You have a bunch of inside jokes that no one else finds funny.

Research suggests that couples are more likely to mirror each other's body language — which in turn makes them look alike — because they're drawing from a wealth of knowledge that only they share. This "insider info"— all of your shared experiences and memories — informs your gestures and posture and the words and phrases you use with each other.

A 2007 study, for example, found that people were more likely to copy each other's eye gaze when they both heard the same background information before their conversation.

Being single doesn't have to be a bad thing; depending on where you are, it can lead to plenty of good dating opportunities.

Wallethub conducted a study to see which states in the US are best for singles. The ranking they came up with took took three criteria into consideration:

• Dating opportunities: the share of single adults, the gender balance of single adults, and mobile and online dating opportunities
• Dating economics: cost of beer, wine, movies, and beauty salons, median annual household income, housing affordability, job growth, and unemployment
• Romance and fun: restaurants, nature parks, movie theaters, music festivals, recreational facilities, and nightlife options per capita, crime rate, and number of attractions

Keep scrolling to see the states that ranked in the top 15 for folks who aren't tied down.

15. North Dakota

North Dakota ranked number one in dating economics, meaning that dates there are affordable, and people make decent money.

14. Minnesota

Minnesota ranked in the top 10 for dating economics.

13. Wisconsin

Wisconsin ranked in the top 10 for romance and fun.

You know your significant other is one of a kind. That means they deserve more than the run-of-the-mill romantic gestures— flowers and cheesy cards just aren't going to cut it. 

Instead, try out one of these 21 creative ways to say "I love you" — on Valentine's Day or any day of the year. 

Spend a whole day together without checking your phone or email.

When's the last time you really talked or shared a meal without periodically glancing at your phones? Put digital responsibilities aside for a day and truly focus on one another. 

Bring home his favorite takeout.

It's so nice to come home from work and find out that dinner's already been taken care of. 

Get up a few minutes early and make breakfast.

You can try a new recipe or just make your significant other's usual morning meal. Either way you'll make the start of her day a little bit easier. 

Sometimes all it takes is an unexpected act of romance to show someone how much you care.

Whether you're doing it as a grand declaration of love or want to give them a simple surprise, a romantic gesture will bring a smile to your partner's face. 

Here are 17 romantic gestures that your partner will appreciate.

Do the dishes or a chore that your significant other hates doing.

Find out whatever it is that they hate doing the most and do it for them. Even if it's just a one time thing, it'll mean the world that you've listened and remembered. 

Pick up the phone and give them a call instead of texting them.

Have a long drive? Or a funny story about something that just happened to you? Pick up the phone and give your partner a ring.

In this day and age, they may be confused that you opted out of texting to actually talk, but they'll find it romantic when you explain that you just wanted to hear their voice. 

Make a plan instead of debating where to eat or what movie to see.

Sometimes it's nice not to think. Plan out a night that you know they'll love and save yourselves the time and annoyance of picking out where to go. 

Whether you're in a budding relationship or single and looking to mingle, astrology can be a useful guide when it comes to love. 

INSIDER spoke with Ophira Edut, half of the famous "AstroTwin" duo who are known for their expertise in astrology to better understand how romantic couplings can be guided (or led astray) by each partner's zodiac sign.

"[Compatibility] is all about understanding what each sign needs, and then thinking 'Well is this a good fit for me?'" Ophira said. "So I recommend first learning about each sign — what they want from love, what their nature is — and then learning about your own sign [...] It's like putting two pieces of a puzzle together."

Keep reading to learn more about the best cosmic pairings and how to navigate each possible coupling.

Couples with the exact same sign are often well-matched.

The most obvious compatible partnerships happens between two people with the same sign. This partnership will usually mean that both people have come to not only love themselves, but managed to find another person with the same qualities. As the AstroTwins explain on their website: "If you date someone of the same sign, congratulations. You’ve probably embraced your quirks and accepted your humanity."

"You might have similar traits so you'll be a little more 'simpatico' with each other," Ophira told INSIDER. "So that's one way, but what I've found is that easy isn't always what people want."

While same-sign couples can work, having exact opposite signs is another common pairing.

In Western astrology, the 12 zodiac signs are divided along a circular vector system. If your partner's sign is directly across from yours on the zodiac vector, it can make for a great romantic pairing.

"You can be polar opposites who want to kill each other or you can be the yin to each others' yang," Ophira said. "That opposite person will be like a mirror to parts of yourself that you're not aware of."

Opposite Signs:

Aries + Libra  
Taurus + Scorpio
Gemini + Sagittarius
Cancer + Capricorn
Leo + Aquarius
Virgo + Pisces

Another coupling with a lot of potential is a partner who is five signs away from your own.

"The purpose of relationships is not just for it to be easy and live in romantic la la land, but for us to grow," Ophira said. "So I find that a lot of people actually pick someone who's five signs away from theirs and it's this weird karmic thing."

As the AstroTwins' explain, these pairings are complex but can lead to an intense bond with a deep level of intimacy. Though the partnership won't always work because you're so astrologically different, it can be magical if you find the right person.

Pairings that are five signs apart:

Aries + Virgo or Scorpio
Taurus + Libra or Sagittarius
Gemini + Scorpio or Capricorn
Cancer + Sag or Aquarius
Leo + Capricorn or Pisces
Virgo + Aquarius or Aries
Libra + Pisces or Taurus
Scorpio + Aries or Gemini
Sagittarius + Taurus or Cancer

Even on Valentine's Day, love can be elusive.

But certain factors make it more likely that someone will be smitten with you.

We dug into years of psychological research to find those particular traits and behaviors. And in the process, we busted some myths and learned that certain clichés actually turn out to be true.

SEE ALSO: 17 science-backed ways men can appear more attractive to women

If you care about the environment

It's easy being green – but only if you're seeking something serious.

A 2016 study found that men and women who make eco-friendly purchases are perceived as more desirable for long-term relationships, while those who make luxury purchases are perceived as more physically attractive and more desirable for short-term relationships.

If you play hard to get

A 2014 study found that men in a speed-dating experiment wanted a woman more when she played hard-to-get by acting disinterested in the men's questions. But these findings only applied in certain situations.

Specifically, the men had to feel "committed" to the woman, which in this study meant that they'd chosen her as their partner, instead of being assigned to her.

It's also worth noting that, even though the men wanted the woman more when she played hard to get, they liked her less. Alas, love is complicated.

If you display the right facial expression

Happiness is generally attractive on women — but not so much on men.

In 2011, researchers conducted experiments on more than 1,000 people, showing them photographs of members of the opposite sex and asking them how attractive the people in the photos were.

Results showed that men rated women most attractive when they looked happy and least attractive when they displayed pride. Women, on the other hand, rated men most attractive when they displayed pride and least attractive when they looked happy.

Interestingly, shame was pretty attractive in both men and women.