We'll get straight to the heart of the matter here (pun intended).

If someone invites you to hang out and you're not sure if it's a friend thing or a "more than friends" thing, don't call them out on it. It'll only make the situation more awkward than it needs to be.

That's according to relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author of "He's Just Not Your Type (And That's A Good Thing): How to Find Love Where You Least Expect It." 

Instead of focusing on what the other person wants this hangout to be, Syrtash said you should ask yourself: What do I want this to be? 

Then, once you get to the date/not-date, focus on two things: picking up on the other person's cues, and sending out the appropriate cues yourself.

So let's say you'd like it to be a date, but you're not sure what the other person is thinking. "Start making it more date-like," Syrtash said.

Order wine; maintain eye contact; be a little flirtatious; touch them lightly. Notice how they respond. 

Now let's say you'd like it to be a friendly hangout, but you're not sure what the other person is thinking. 

In this situation, you might want to talk about your dating life or casually make a comment about how you're not in a place where you're looking for a relationship. Before you leave, consider offering to split the bill. 

Again, notice how they respond to your behavior.

If at this point, you're still not sure whether you're on a date, it's okay to ask — but do it playfully, Syrtash said. Something like, "Hey, is this a date?" with a laugh should work. 

The bottom line here is that you'll want to keep the awkwardness to a minimum. Try to rely on body language and nonverbal signals of romance or friendship. Don't force anything.

SEE ALSO: Here's exactly what to say when you're not sure who should pay on a first date

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NOW WATCH: What you should talk about on a first date, according to research

The only thing worse than being stuck in gridlock and imagining your date waiting awkwardly outside a bar is figuring out how to tell said date that they may be waiting even longer.

Which is why a natural impulse here is to avoid texting or calling at all to say that you're running super late.

This is a great idea — if you want to make the situation even more uncomfortable than it needs to be. 

That's according to relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author of "He's Just Not Your Type (And That's A Good Thing): How to Find Love Where You Least Expect It," who says that she often sees people "procrastinate" on admitting that they're running late. 

"The irony," Syrtash said, "is that the more we try to avoid an awkward situation, the worse it is."

Here's an example of what you should tell the person waiting for you:

"I'm stuck in traffic. I'm so sorry. Please feel free to order an appetizer or a drink and I'm excited to see you soon!"

Syrtash recommends sending your date a heads-up text as soon as you know you're going to be late. 

If you realize in the afternoon that you might get stuck at work this evening, let the person know so you two can move your date later. On the other hand, if it looks like there's traffic or train trouble ahead and your date is already on their way, at least tell the person so they don't think they've been stood up. 

Above all, don't freak out. Yes, first impressions matter, but your date is (presumably) a human being just like you and has been in a similar situation. Apologize when you get there and move on.

SEE ALSO: Here's exactly what to say when you're not sure who should pay on a first date

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NOW WATCH: What you should talk about on a first date, according to research

If you don't want to go on a date with someone who asks, you're going to have to reject them.

You'll feel bad; they'll feel bad; it won't be a great situation.

That said, there are definitely ways to make the situation go much more smoothly and to avoid crushing the person for life.

According to relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author of "He's Just Not Your Type (And That's A Good Thing): How to Find Love Where You Least Expect It," the best approach depends on whether you know the person well or not. 

If you don't know the person well, Syrtash said it's fine to tell a white lie: "I'm flattered, but I'm not available." (If you really are in a relationship, then obviously you won't be lying.) 

That way, they won't be as inclined to personalize your rejection.

If you do know the person well and they're aware that you're not in a relationship, Syrtash said you can say something like: "I'm so flattered; thank you. But I feel like we're more suitable as friends" or, "I'm not in that place right now." 

Again, the person who asked you out will probably still feel hurt, but this is the most elegant way to go about it. Plus, they'd probably feel worse if you got their hopes up by agreeing to a date and then broke it off. 

And remember: It's best to deliver the blow in person and by yourself. That means no texting and no sending your friend to do it for you. As Gail Gross, a human behavior, parenting, and education expert, writes on The Huffington Post, "A clean break can only happen in person, eyeball-to-eyeball."

SEE ALSO: Here's exactly what to do when you're not sure if it's a date

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Dating expert Andrea Syrtash, author of "He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing): How to Find Love Where You Least Expect It," explains one word that can be disposed of for a better dating life. Hint: It'll help put your relatives in their place.

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Follow dating expert Andrea Syrtash on Twitter  (@AndreaSyrtash) or on her Facebook page.

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Being on a bad first date is awkward. But serving the two people on that bad first date might be just as awful. 

A recent AskReddit thread asked waiters to recount the worst first dates they'd ever seen while working. And while INSIDER can't independently verify any of these tales, they do make for some wild reading.

Take a look at these 14 horrifying first date stories as told by servers, and prepare to cringe. 

"I don't care what excuse you make up, I just gotta get the hell out of here."

"I work at a fairly nice Italian restaurant, where we do a lot of business. One night a man who I was not even serving came up to me [...] and hands me $20 and a napkin with a phone number on it. He proceeds to tell me, 'I am on the worst date of my life, this woman is horrendous and I have to get out of here. Take this $20 and please go to the nearest phone and call me and tell me that I have to get home right away. I don't care what excuse you make up, I just gotta get the hell out of here.'

"I promptly called that guy as soon as I had a free minute."– Redditor XelaKebert

"This guy orders a ton of ribs and refuses the girl her original order."

"It was an attractive young woman and an average-looking man [...] All goes well until it comes time for entrées. This guy orders a f--- ton of ribs and refuses the girl her original order of a house sirloin [...] The woman stops talking completely while the man talks about some crazy party he went to. The man guzzles a few Strawberry Quencher Iced teas, says, 'Seeya Friday, b----' and leaves her with the bill.

She said the guy seemed nice when they talked on Tinder, but was very uncomfortable with him in real life, and afraid to say something. A co-worker and I paid for her meal [...] later she and the same co-worker starting dating, and they are engaged now."– Redditor SovietSocialistRobot

"I see the guy take his phone out and start swiping through Tinder."

"Served a couple a few months ago. Every time I walked over, he would always be the one talking, and she would just be sitting there not having a good time. At the end, I asked if it was one bill or separate and she immediately piped up, 'SEPARATE.' I go and take his payment [...] and I see the guy take his phone out and start swiping through Tinder."– Redditor oversized_canoe

Grant Langston has learned a lot over his 16-year tenure at eHarmony, the popular dating site launched in 2000.

But only in his six months as the company's new CEO has an important lesson become clear: Love conquers all — except when other dating apps are much easier to use.

"Whatever the onboarding time is for us," Langston recently told Business Insider, raising a flattened hand to about eye-level, "Tinder is here," he said, lowering his hand about two feet. "We've got to get in the universe of ease of use, so that the person who wants a relationship can see a way to use us."

Historically, eHarmony has not thought of swipe-based apps as competitors, since they tend to cater to more casual daters. But there are plenty of people who now use those apps to look for long-term partners — on Tinder it's 80% of users. Langston sees that shift as his best chance to entice marriage-seekers and, in the process, revive a dying brand.

'That's our failure'

Langston is the first to admit eHarmony needs help. Though the company essentially pioneered online dating a decade and a half ago, it has since fallen far behind the pack.

Dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and many others offer addicting swipe-based interfaces and seamless design that keep younger customers coming back. eHarmony users, on the other hand, fill out detailed questionnaires in the hopes of finding secure, long-term partners — a far cry from mindless thumb swipes.

Langston blames eHarmony's continued focus on marketing over user experience for its current challenges. While other apps are free and simple to use, eHarmony's users complain about high costs and poor functionality. The app has a one-star rating in the App Store.

I'm like, that's our failure. That person should be on eHarmony.

By last count, eHarmony has about 750,000 paid subscribers and 10 million active users, which is about the same number it's had since 2012, Langston says. Tinder, meanwhile, has roughly 1 million premium users and 50 million people using the app. Two-year-old Bumble is also quickly gaining steam, having already accrued 3.5 million active users.

But as millennials creep into marriage age, the new CEO hopes sleeker pages, faster load times, and promising matchmaking algorithms can lure those with "swipe fatigue" away from the hookup apps of their youth.

"When I see people who use Tinder and they say in their headline they're not looking to hook up and want a real relationship, I'm like, that's our failure," Langston says. "That person should be on eHarmony."

Laughing their way to the top

Langston isn't hoping sleeker product design will get him a bigger userbase — at least not yet. He says business is still strong, even if it's not growing. His primary goal for 2017 is to increase user satisfaction. In an industry such as his, where customers may be quick to blame a poor experience on the service rather than their own shortcomings, that can be tough.

"How can we improve this business so that people who come to us and don't find the person of their dreams are still satisfied with the experience?" he says.

Part of eHarmony's answer to that question has been refining the site's matching algorithm.

In the beginning, about 16% of users who completed the questionnaire would receive a notification telling them the site couldn't make any matches for them. It was a disappointing dilemma: They'd either have to adjust their preferences or find a new dating site. Langston says only about 4% of people now get that notice, and most of them are already married, which the site frowns upon.

The company is also currently conducting extensive research into people's senses of humor with the intent to incorporate that information into its matching algorithm.

eHarmony built a portal where users can watch dozens of 30-second videos — from improv comedy to movie clips to viral prank videos — to determine their "humor profile." Do they prefer fart jokes or would they rather watch "The Daily Show"? The new feature will then categorize their sense of humor based on nine different types.

"At this point, it seems very likely that it will be an important way to match people," Langston says of using humor to pair daters, but he adds that isn't the final step. "You have to ask yourself, Does it correlate to better relationships?" That answer will come with further testing over the next several months.

The company is also making other small fixes attempt to help the app feel fresher. Due to decreasing numbers of older users, eHarmony dropped its Guided Communication feature, which offered prompts to help users start chatting. And now when people get a match, they see an entire dashboard about their compatibility, not just the notification that a match has been made.

A future of inclusivity

Product issues notwithstanding, the service is still wrestling with some philosophical challenges in its quest to capture younger users.

For instance, only after eHarmony settled a 2005 discrimination suit in 2009 did it start a site for same-sex daters. That site, Compatible Partners, is successful on its own, Langston says, but he acknowledges that it would probably do better if it lived under eHarmony's roof.

"In the long term, it has to be there," he says. "It has to be joined together because eventually it just looks weirder and weirder for it to be separate."

Then there's the issue of cost, a common gripe among the one-star reviewers. Set against a backdrop of freemium dating apps, eHarmony's model may seem overly demanding. You can fill out the questionnaire and get matches for free, but you have to subscribe to see their photos or talk to them. A monthly subscription costs $59.95 per month, while a six-month subscription amounts to $15.95 per month. People who pay for Tinder's premium service, Tinder Plus, are charged no more than $19.99 per month. For people under 30 years old, it's $9.99.

Langston says eHarmony has built up a loyal subscriber base over the years — generally people who have drifted in and out of the dating pool. Capturing new ones will mean confronting the fact that millennials have grown accustomed to paying nothing for dating apps.

Despite those challenges, Langston still believes that the right design tweaks, in combination with 16 years of algorithm research, will allow eHarmony to prevail over newer, more self-guided services in helping people find love.

"People who have a great time on Tinder, maybe they find someone," he says. "Good for them." As for the people that don't, "they'll come our way."

SEE ALSO: The 3 biggest mistakes people make in online dating, according to the CEO of eHarmony

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From an evolutionary standpoint, we are attracted to people whom we perceive as beautiful, like those with symmetric faces or large eyes, because it tends to signify good genetics. And good genes means healthy babies.

But just you're not born with model looks, doesn't mean you're doomed.

There are ways to enhance your sexiness through techniques that aren't necessarily regulated by biology.

Here's a short list.

Hang out in groups

You look better with your friends than you do on your own, psychological scientists have found. The phenomenon known as the "cheerleader effect" happens because the human brain tends to average the faces of people in a group rather than seeing them as individual subjects. This benefits people with less attractive physical features.

Source: Psychological Science, 2013

Stick around for closing time

In a 1979 paper, University of Virginia researchers cite numerous studies showing that in a bar setting, individuals of the opposite sex are seen as more attractive as "the time to decide whether to interact with them decreases."

A more recent study from 2010 confirmed that bar patrons saw romantic potentials as "significantly more attractive" at closing time, but only if the observers were not in a relationship.

Source: Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 1979; Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 2010

Smile more

The same region of the brain that is activated when people receive a reward, called the medial orbitofrontal cortex, is engaged when a person sees a beautiful face. Using brain scans, a team of researchers showed that this response was "further enhanced by a smiling facial expression."

The health of a person's chompers is also important. A separate study conducted by British researchers found that white and evenly spaced teeth make people seem more attractive, probably because it's a sign of good health and, in women, fertility.

Source: Neuropsychologia, 2003; PLoS One, 2012

Wear red

Red is the colour of hearts, roses, and, it seems, love. The well-studied "red effect" suggests that both men and women are more drawn to those of the opposite sex who wear red. In several experiments, researchers from the University of Rochester looked at women's responses to photographs of the same man in shirts of varying colours. A similar experiment was conducted to quantify the effect of red-garbed women on men. In both scenarios, the participants were more eager to get it on when the person in the photograph was wearing red.

This could be partly learned, as red has long been associated with royalty, and we now equate it with power or being able to provide. For women, the response may be more biological. "Research has shown that nonhuman male primates are particularly attracted to females displaying red,"according to a statement from the university. "Female baboons and chimpanzees, for example, redden conspicuously when nearing ovulation, sending a clear sexual signal designed to attract males."

Source: Journal of Personal Social Psychology, 2008; Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2012

Change the pitch of your voice

The way we speak plays a key part in the perceived attractiveness of men and women. In one study, researchers from the University College London found that in women, a higher-pitched voice is seen as more attractive because it indicates the speaker has a smaller body size. Guys, on the hand, should aim for a deep voice with a touch of breathiness, indicating they have a large frame but low levels of aggression.

Source: PLoS One, 2013

Work on your sense of humour

"Both men and women prefer someone with a ' good sense of humour' as a relationship partner," a study led by Eric Bressler of Westfield State College found, but each sex values humour differently. While women like men who make them laugh, men like women who laugh at their jokes (men don't care much about a woman's wit). In another study, French researcher Nicolas Guéguen instructed men in a bar to either tell or not tell a funny joke to their friends as a woman sat at nearby table. The men who told jokes were three times as likely to get that woman's number as those who did not.

"The effect of a great sense of humour on women's attractions might be partially explained by the fact that funny people are considered to be more social and more intelligent, things that women seek in a mate," evolutionary psychologist Gil Greengross explains in an article on Psychology Today.

Source: Evolution & Human Behaviour, 2006; Personal Relationships, 2005; Psychological Reports, 2010

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NOW WATCH: 6 scientifically proven things men can do to be more attractive

I had a striking and sudden realisation last year when I was in Australia talking to a good friend.

The people who receive what they want in their lives don't have a secret hidden talent or good luck. They ask for what they want. 

How simple!

Asking is not the only thing you have to do (you certainly have to be a giver first and a do-er and follow through-er) but asking can make a huge difference in our lives.

It became so clear to me as I replayed in my mind all the times that I had seen people voice what they want and then get it — from romantic relationships to career opportunities to advice, even access to events or help from strangers.

Asking makes us vulnerable, I understand. But if we don't ask, the answer is always no. People who get what they want are afraid to ask just like the rest of us, but the difference is, they ask anyway. And they contribute a lot, too.  Such is the awesome law of reciprocity. So often we are happy to give but feel uncomfortable or guilty about getting.

Reflecting on this, I created a list of 31 things that I have asked for with positive results by age 31:

1. My now-husband to take my phone number during the concert we met at.
2. Considerable salary increases when my work performance is strong. Looking for one yourself? Access my free video training here.
3. A hug from Jake Gyllenhal in a downtown New York City restaurant.
4. Discounts — from bananas at a street vendor (when I am 50 cents short) to international flights to cable packages.
5. A little kindness from a woman who I saw being rude to a yoga studio assistant.
6. Forgiveness — many times. This has been perhaps the most important request of my life.
7. The table I want in a restaurant. Everyone pays the same, so I like typically request a window table or cozy corner spot.
8. Publication of my work from some of the most prestigious online publishers.
9. Patience from others when I am struggling with something.
10. Coffee with someone I want to meet (taking initiative in new friendships is an important skill when you move around the world).
11. More reliability from a guy I used to date (he never was and it was short-lived — better to know sooner, darlings).
12. Media interviews with Bethenny Frankel, Arianna Huffington, Kris Jenner, Kelly Osbourne, and Sara Blakely.
13. To purchase something that is not for sale (a friend's jacket, a mirror in an outdoor market).
14. A job in New York City with no network, no local experience, a pending work visa, and an incomplete college degree (I received two awesome offers and accepted the highest paying).
15. What I need from my husband on a regular basis (I love quality down-time together).
16. A seat on the subway when someone is taking up unnecessary space.
17. Positive feedback when I need it.
18. Free samples from retail stores when I buy something.
19. Referrals for the vision board events I lead.
20. Favors from friends (from dog-sitting to their help in setting up a party to a ride to the airport).
21. Clarity on expectations from managers (ambiguity in the workplace is rampant).
22. Permission to dig deeper on an emotional issue if I can sense a friend needs to talk about something
23. Asking people to lighten up in a "crisis"— such as an internet power-outage at the office. Where did the fun go?
24. Free late checkouts at any hotel — 90% of the time this works.
25. Honesty from others about my work — even when it hurts!
26. Punctuality (since when is it OK to be so late)?
27. If I may go first in a group presentation setting — to get my nerves out of the way.
28. Reduced prices in exchange for loyalty and/or sincere online reviews (dry cleaners, movers, spas).
29. Asking myself, "What the hell am I doing?  This needs to change!" This question has arisen when my life needs a course-correct.  Wrong relationship, wrong job, too much partying. You have to get real with yourself every so often.
30. Asking how I can help — from a friend going through a break-up to a mum with a stroller who can't fit into a bathroom stall in Bloomingdales.
31. A divorce from my first husband. But hey, that's another topic!

It's important to note that as long as this list is, I could write an equally long list of rejections (longer, even). But that is the thing. Without asking for what you want you have no list — apart from a mental list of regrets.  Pay attention to anyone you really admire — they will have had plenty of failures behind them. 

But they still did something. They took risks.  They identified what they wanted and asked for it. No business success, no engagement story, no change in this world took place without someone asking for something first. And it all begins with you.

So ask yourself, what do you really, really want?

Susie Moore is an author and life coach in New York who has been featured on The Today Show and Forbes. A former sales director for a Fortune 500 Company, she remains an adviser to high-growth startups in New York City and Silicon Valley. Sign up here for her FREE Side Hustle Workshop.

SEE ALSO: 7 clear signs you should be working for yourself

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It is challenging and exhausting being romantically involved with a narcissist, but they can also cause havoc when they leave. Break ups are always hard, but when you've been in a relationship with someone who uses others and is obsessed with themselves, it can be even harder.

On the surface, narcissists can seem charming, engaging and charismatic, which can make them difficult to leave in the first place.

Dr Judith Orloff, a clinical psychiatrist at the University of California Los Angeles, wrote in a recent blog post on Psychology Today that narcissists can make you "fall in love with them so hard that it feels like you're giving up a part of your heart to leave them," because they're very good at becoming the center of your universe while you're with them.

Here's what to expect if you break up with a narcissist.

SEE ALSO: How to know you're in a long-term relationship, according to psychology

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If they're the ones to break it off, it can feel brutal and sudden.

One minute you may feel like everything your partner has ever wanted, and the next you're left wandering what on Earth went wrong. This is because narcissists are great at playing a part while they're getting something from their source, according to Orloff. But when they're done using you, they have no difficulty in casting you aside like a used tissue.

There will be no apologies or remorse, and you may well never hear from them again, regardless of how long your relationship was. If they do return, it will be because they've realized they can get something from you.

If you're the one who chose to leave, on the other hand, be prepared for begging, pleading or bargaining.

If you're the one who chose to leave, good for you because Orloff says that's hard to do. They are likely to give you the fight of your life because they're not done with you yet. Narcissists hate losing their supply, so they won't let you go easily.

Prepare for them to promise "to change." They might suddenly start doing things for you that you'd been complaining about. They may say "you'll be lost without me," or "you'll never find someone like me."

Don't listen, Orloff advises. It's just a trick to get you to come back to them out of fear.

What next? Establish no contact.

No contact is exactly what it sounds like: no contact whatsoever. That means blocking their number, making sure any emails from their address go into your spam folder, and deleting them off social media. This is tough, but mental health counselor Dr Stephanie Sarkis explains in a blog post on Psychology today that it's the best option because sooner or later the narcissist will find a way to return.

The narcissist will try to contact you if you cut off their supply, and they know just what to say to make you come back. So you have to be brutal, and fast. It may be best to break up with them over text also, so they can't manipulate you any further.

If you left something at the narcissist's house, Sarkis adds, you should just leave it and let it go. Consider it a very small price to pay for your own sanity and well-being.

Anyone who's been in a long-distance relationship knows that not being able to touch your partner for weeks or months at a time is one of the toughest parts. 

While technology has caught up in other arenas — video chatting has never been easier and apps that help you find cheap travel are a dime a dozen — long-distance touch is essentially the final frontier. 

To help solve that problem, a Dutch tech company called House of Haptics has created the Hey bracelet, a wearable that lets you send touch over long distances. 

Before your mind descends into the gutter, the Hey bracelet is not a sex toy. It's worn on your wrist and is meant to simulate a "gentle squeeze," not a vibration or buzzing sensation. 

The Hey bracelet launched on Kickstarter about a month ago, and is not yet available to purchase. While there's no guarantee it will ever come to fruition, here's how the House of Haptics team envisions it working. 

SEE ALSO: Google helped build an app that designs you a personalized dress based on your lifestyle

The Hey bracelet comes in two colors: white and rose gold, or black and anthracite. The company plans to add red, blue, and green if it reaches its stretch goal of 2,000 backers on Kickstarter.

When you order a set, it comes with two bracelets (one for you and one for your partner) plus a charging cable for each bracelet.

The bracelets pair with your phone via Bluetooth. When you send a touch to someone, it's sent to the Hey app on your phone, which is then transferred to your partner's app and the other bracelet.

Eventually, the Hey app will run on both Android and iOS, the company says. 

When you were a kid it was a lot easier. In college you almost had to be trying not to make friends. But then you're an adult.

You get busy with work. Your friends get busy with work. People get married. Have kids. And pretty soon being "close" means a text message twice a year.

You're not alone … Or, actually, the whole point of this is you really may be alone. But you're not alone in being alone. These days we're all alone together. In 1985 most people said they had 3 close friends. In 2004 the most common number was zero.

Via Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect:

In a survey given in 1985, people were asked to list their friends in response to the question "Over the last six months, who are the people with whom you discussed matters important to you?" The most common number of friends listed was three; 59% of respondents listed three or more friends fitting this description. The same survey was given again in 2004. This time the most common number of friends was zero. And only 37% of respondents listed three or more friends. Back in 1985, only 10% indicated that they had zero confidants. In 2004, this number skyrocketed to 25%. One out of every four of us is walking around with no one to share our lives with.

Friends are important. Nobody would dispute that. But I doubt you know how very important they are.

So let's see just how critical friends can be — and the scientifically backed ways to get more of them in your life…

Loneliness Is A Killer

When people are dying, what do they regret the most? Coming in at #4 is: "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."

And neglecting your friends can make those deathbed regrets come a lot sooner than you'd like. When I spoke to Carlin Flora, author of Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are, she told me:

Julianne Holt-Lunstad did a meta-analysis of social support and health outcomes and found that not having enough friends or having a weak social circle is the same risk factor as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Maybe your grandparents lived to 100 and you take good care of yourself. You're healthy. But if you want those years to be full of smiles, you need to invest in friendship. 70% of your happiness comes from relationships.

Via The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People:

Contrary to the belief that happiness is hard to explain, or that it depends on having great wealth, researchers have identified the core factors in a happy life. The primary components are number of friends, closeness of friends, closeness of family, and relationships with co-workers and neighbors. Together these features explain about 70% of personal happiness. – Murray and Peacock 1996

The Grant Study at Harvard has followed a group of men for their entire lives. The guy who led the study for a few decades, George Vaillant, was asked, "What have you learned from the Grant Study men?" Vaillant's response?

That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.

So friendships are really really really important. But maybe you're not worried. Maybe you have lots of friends. Guess what?

In seven years, half of your close friends won't be close to you anymore.

Via Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are:

A study by a Dutch sociologist who tracked about a thousand people of all ages found that on average, we lose half of our close network members every seven years. To think that half of the people currently on your "most dialed" list will fade out of your life in less than a decade is frightening indeed.

Ouch. Scared yet? I am.

(To learn an FBI behavior expert's tips for getting people to like you, click here.)

So what do we do? (No, going back to college is not the answer.) How do we make new friends as adults?

1. The New Starts With The Old

The first step to making new friends is… don't. Instead, reconnect with old friends:

These findings suggest that dormant relationships – often overlooked or underutilized – can be a valuable source of knowledge and social capital.

Doing this is easy, it's not scary, they're people you already have history with, and it doesn't take a lot of time or work to get to know them. Go to Facebook or LinkedIn for ideas and then send some texts. Boom. You already have more friends.

If you're going to be strategic, who should you prioritize? You probably met a disproportionate number of your friends through just a handful of people. Those are your "superconnectors."

Rekindle those relationships. And then ask them if there's anyone you should meet. Next time you get together, see if that new person can come along. Not. Hard. At. All.

(To learn how to deal with a narcissist, click here.)

But maybe this feels a little awkward. Maybe your friendship muscles have atrophied. Maybe you weren't great at making friends in the first place. So what really makes people "click"?

2. Listen, Seek Similarity, and Celebrate

Clicking with people is a lot less about you and a lot more about focusing on them. Don't be interesting. Be interested. And what are the best ways to do that?

Listen, Seek Similarity, and Celebrate.

Studies show being likable can be as easy as listening to people and asking them to tell you more.

And mountains of research show similarity is critical. So when they mention something you have in common, point it out.

Finally, celebrate the positive. When someone talks about the good things in their life, be enthusiastic and encouraging.

Via The Myths of Happiness:

The surprising finding is that the closest, most intimate, and most trusting relationships appear to be distinguished not by how the partners respond to each other's disappointments, losses, and reversals but how they react to good news.

(To learn more about how to be someone people love to talk to, click here.)

Alright, your superconnectors are making introductions and you're clicking. But how do you get close to these new people? We've all met people we thought were cool… but just didn't know how to take it to the next level and go from acquaintance to friend. It's simple, but not necessarily easy…

3. Be Vulnerable

Open up a bit. Don't go full TMI, but make yourself a little bit vulnerable. Nobody becomes besties by only discussing the weather.

Close friends are what leads to personal discussions. But personal discussions are also what leads to close friends.

Via Click: The Magic of Instant Connections:

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable helps the other person to trust you, precisely because you are putting yourself at emotional, psychological, or physical risk. Other people tend to react by being more open and vulnerable themselves. The fact that both of you are letting down your guard helps to lay the groundwork for a faster, closer personal connection.

Close friends have a good "if-then profile" of each other. Once you have an idea of "if" someone was in situation X, "then" they would display behavior Y, that means you're really starting to understand them. And this leads to good friendships.

People who had more knowledge of their friend's if-then profile of triggers had better relationships. They had less conflict with the friend and less frustration with the relationship.

How many close friends do you need? If we go by the science, you want to aim for at least five.

Via Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life:

National surveys find that when someone claims to have five or more friends with whom they can discuss important problems, they are 60% more likely to say that they are ‘very happy.'

(To learn the lazy way to an awesome life, click here.)

So you have new friends. Awesome. Now how do you not screw this up?

4. Don't Be A Stranger

First and foremost: make the time. What's the most common thing friends fight about? Time commitments.

Via Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are:

Daniel Hruschka reviewed studies on the causes of conflict in friendship and found that the most common friendship fights boil down to time commitments. Spending time with someone is a sure indicator that you value him; no one likes to feel undervalued.

You need to keep in touch. (Remember: not keeping in touch is how you got into this problem in the first place.)

If you want to stay close friends with someone, how often do you need to check in? Research says at least every two weeks.

(To learn the four rituals neuroscience says will make you happy, click here.)

So even if you need to set a reminder on your calendar, check in every two weeks. But, actually, there's a better way to make sure you don't forget…

5. Start A Group

Denmark has the happiest people in the world. (I'm guessing Hamlet was an exception.) Why are Danes so happy? One reason is that 92% of them are members of some kind of social group.

Via Engineering Happiness: A New Approach for Building a Joyful Life:

The sociologist Ruut Veenhoven and his team have collected happiness data from ninety-one countries, representing two-thirds of the world's population. He has concluded that Denmark is home to the happiest people in the world, with Switzerland close behind… Interestingly enough, one of the more detailed points of the research found that 92% of the people in Denmark are members of some sort of group, ranging from sports to cultural interests. To avoid loneliness, we must seek active social lives, maintain friendships, and enjoy stable relationships.

And what's the best way to make sure you're in a group? Start one. That makes it a lot easier to stay in touch and a lot easier to manage those big 5 friendships with 20% of the effort.

A weekly lunch. A monthly sewing circle. A quarterly movie night. Whatever works. Friends bring friends and suddenly it's not so hard to meet cool new people. And who does everyone have to thank for this? You.

And make the effort to keep that group solid for everyone. Many studies show older people are happier. What's one of the reasons? They prune the jerks out of their social circles:

Other studies have discovered that as people age, they seek out situations that will lift their moods — for instance, pruning social circles of friends or acquaintances who might bring them down.

(To learn the 6 rituals ancient wisdom says will make you happy, click here.)

Alright, popular kid, we've learned a lot. Let's round it up and find out how to keep your new friendships alive over the long haul …

Sum Up

Here's how to make friends as an adult:

• The new starts with the old: Touch base with old friends and leverage your superconnectors.
• Listen, seek similarity and celebrate: Don't be interesting. Be interested.
• Be vulnerable: Open up a bit. Form an "if-then" profile.
• Don't be a stranger: Check in every two weeks, minimum.
• Start a group: Things that are habits get done. So start a group habit.

What does Carlin Flora, author of Friendfluence, say is the number one tip for keeping friendships alive?

Reach out to your good friends and tell them how much they mean to you. It's just not something we're accustomed to doing. It'll make you feel great, it'll make them feel great and it will strengthen the bond between you. Be more giving to the friends you already have. People in romantic relationships always celebrate anniversaries, yet you might have a friend for 15 years and you've probably never gone out to dinner and raised a glass to that. We need to cherish our friendships more.

Okay, you're done reading. Time to start doing. Reach out to a friend right now. Send them this post and let'em know you want to get together.

Listen to what they've been up to. Celebrate their good news. Offer to help them out with something.

After all, that's what friends are for.

SEE ALSO: How to make friends easily

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The INSIDER Summary:

• Couples who want to move in together need to talk about finances.
• Talking about money up front can eliminate fights later. 
• Make sure you determine how you'll share rent, food, utility, and insurance costs. 
• Finally, talk about what would happen if your relationship ended. 

So you're finally ready to move in together — or at least you think you are. 

As cozy as it sounds to make pancakes together every weekend, the less romantic truth is that there's a fair chance you won't be brunching in bed together for long. Close to 30% of cohabiting couplesbreak up before the end of year three, New York  magazine reported; 14% never make it past their first year living together.

Money is a leading cause of relationship stress, CNBC reported. Maybe you think your partner wastes money on dumb stuff; maybe they think you do. 

The good news is that many money fights can be avoided altogether if you talk about finances up front. To reduce the chance that a money fight will ruin your relationship, tackle these five issues before you move all your clothes in:

How will you split the rent?

Someone's gotta pay the rent when you live together. But who? 

A 2014 NerdWallet study of partners living together found that 35.9% of men paid all household expenses, while just 14.3% of women did. Having one partner pay for everything might make sense if the other person has little or no income. Otherwise, you'll need a more equitable plan for splitting the bills. 

Some couples decide to split everything 50-50. Others pay a percentage based on their combined income. (For example: She makes $60,000 while he makes $40,000, so she pays 60%.) 

Splitting the rent evenly may sound fair, but it can cause the partner who earns less to feel resentful. If you opt for a split based on income, however, the bigger earner may not like paying more. One woman interviewed by U.S. News and World Report said she started scrutinizing her boyfriend's spending after becoming frustrated that picking up 60% of the rent left her with too little cash.

Whatever you decide, make sure both of you are OK with it from the get-go.

Who pays for groceries?

Living together means shopping for two. It wouldn't be very romantic to have separate food in the fridge with your name on it, but you may get frustrated with paying for your partner's fancy cheese or gourmet ice cream habit. 

Groceries are not an insignificant expense. Lifehacker estimated that a "thrifty food budget" for a family of two is $373 a month, while the "liberal food plan budget" is as much as $743.10 a month.

Yahoo recommends opening a joint bank account into which each partner deposits enough to cover shared expenses like groceries. After you figure out your total budget, either divide this amount by two and each put in half, or use the percentage-of-income formula described above. 

Who pays for utilities?

Cable bill, Internet bill, water bill, electric bill — these are just some of the monthly utility costs you'll have to divvy up.

If you're using a joint account to cover grocery expenses, you could put cash into it to cover utilities, too. Alternately, you could assign a bill to each partner: You pay the water bill and your partner pays the gas and electric bill, for example. 

Be sure to talk about which utility bills you are going to split. If you want premium cable but your partner is fine with streaming, will you still split the cable bill?  

Don't forget insurance!

You should have renters' insurance if you move in together. Some landlords require it. Even if they don't, it will protect you from liability if someone gets hurt. It also allows you to make sure you can replace your stuff if you get robbed or a fire or flood happens. 

Talk about how much insurance you need and who pays the premiums. If one of you has more stuff to protect, should that person pay more? Or will you split the premiums, too?

If it doesn't work out ...

Not every couple who moves in together gets a happily ever after. So you need a plan for who is going to vacate the apartment in the event of a breakup. 

If you make joint purchases, like buying furniture together, fights could break out over who gets the TV when you leave. Some couples sign a cohabitation contract, similar to a prenup. That might feel too formal, but at the very least have a talk about what you'll do if you decide to split.

It won't be a fun conversation, but having the talk now can make your relationship stronger. Because if you can talk about money, you can talk about pretty much anything.

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This person is a clear writer who is obsessed with living a healthy lifestyle. Expect to write about healthy foods and fitness, with a focus on women's health, including stories about birth control, fertility and pregnancy. Also expect to write everything from relationships and sex to dating.

This internship position is at our Flatiron headquarters in New York City. It starts in March 2017 and runs for six months. Interns are encouraged to work full-time (40 hours a week) if their schedule allows.

We're looking for the following: 

• Excellent writing skills
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• Ability to be creative and package stories in exciting ways, and work at a fast pace
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Our interns are an integral part of our team. We seek out self-starters and people who are enthusiastic about collaborating with reporters, producers, social media editors, and other team members.

At INSIDER, our motto is "Life is an adventure." We tell stories for, about, and by people who seize life. That means they love to travel, try new foods, listen to new music, and fight for what’s right — and they admire people who do the same. INSIDER is distributed across social media, including Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and YouTube , as well as on the web.

If this sounds like you're dream job, apply here with a resume and cover letter telling us why you want to be our health and relationships intern.

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If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, or someone who you suspect might be a sociopath, it can be difficult to explain what's happening. For example, day-to-day in the relationship you may feel alone but not quite understand why. You may feel like you're always saying the wrong thing and making your partner angry, but you have no idea what set them off.

Without the right words, everything can seem confusing, especially if you haven't read about personality disorders before. 

Psychologists and the online community of survivors of narcissistic relationships use several terms to help make sense of what happened to them, such as why they fell for a narcissists charm, why they were targetted, or what made someone they loved treat them this way. 

Because once you start to be able to talk about it, you can start to realize the way you were treated wasn't okay.

Donna Andersen is a journalist who founded the website LoveFraud.com after she came out of an abusive marriage with a sociopath. The website is now a popular go-to place for people who have been through abuse, to help teach them to recognize and avoid sociopaths.

Andersen wrote a blog post last month about some of the phrases and words you should know if you think you're going through an abusive relationship with a narcissist or sociopath, and this is a few of the ones you should be aware of.

Sociopath and narcissist are used interchangeably in this article. This is because for the most part, if someone is dealing with any of these situations, anyone with narcissistic tendencies, including sociopaths, could be to blame. 

1. Love bombing

When you first met the narcissist, they may have showered you with affection. They probably told you how different you were to anyone else they've dated, how you were "the one," and you two were "meant to be." They might have complimented you all the time, given you expensive gifts, even taken you on holiday. 

In reality, they probably weren't Prince/Princess Charming at all, they were just reeling you in, psychologists say. They spotted you, and they wanted to use you as their source of supply, and so turned on the charm using a technique called love bombing. It's when someone makes you feel like you're the most important person in the world, and they must be the one for you because they seem so perfect.

However, none of it is real, and this isn't how a normal relationship is supposed to progress, Dr Steven Stosny writes in a blog post for Psychology Today. 

If you feel a relationship is progressing too fast, then it probably is, says Stosny. If someone has declared their undying love for you a few weeks after meeting them, and telling you you're their soul-mate, and they're making you uncomfortable, then the affection probably isn't coming from a good place. 

2. The predator

Before they hooked you, the narcissist may have already been looking around for a new target. It's not unlike a predator searching for its prey, because they knew they had to find someone weak who they could easily exploit. 

Narcissists search carefully for the next person they can charm, seduce and trap, and they're very good at it. It has to be someone who they know they can get a lot from, but also with vulnerabilities, according to a blog by therapist Silvia Horvath on Psych Central, which is why they often target people with low confidence and an underlying self-esteem problem.

However, the mark is also usually a very caring person who is willing to do things for other people, says Horvath, and often they also show passion for their family, friends and career. Having these qualities means you're more likely to see the good in the narcissist, before they turn on you.

Sometimes, the narcissist may even have known about you before they started speaking to you. They may have stalked you on social media or seen you around before they asked you out, because they were sussing out whether you'd be a good target. 

3. Pity play

In her book "The Sociopath Next Door," Dr Martha Stout says the most reliable sign of a sociopath when you first meet them is nothing to do with fear. Instead, it is when they appeal to your sympathy. 

If "you find yourself often pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people, and who actively campaigns for your sympathy, the chances are close to 100% that you are dealing with a sociopath," she writes in the book.

When they're trying to reel you in, a narcissistic person is likely to mention how badly they've been treated in the past. They may refer to past abuse in their life, or bad previous relationships. This isn't to say what they're saying isn't true, but it's wise to be wary. 

The narcissist knows you are empathetic, and they know revealing personal information to you will probably make you feel like you're bonding with them. In reality, they're usually just trying to create the illusion of closeness, and they will ultimately use it against you.

After all, "I am sure that if the devil existed, he would want us to feel very sorry for him," Stout writes.

Let's just say I'd be less than flattered if my partner described me as a "good pair of pajamas."

"Cute,""cool,""fun"— I'll take it, but baggy and not to be seen outside the house? Yeah, no.

Except, according to Ellen McCarthy, a Washington Post feature writer who spent four years covering weddings, love, and relationships for The Post, we should all be so lucky as to hear our partners liken us to PJs.

That insight appears in McCarthy's 2015 book, "The Real Thing," in which she shares some of the most meaningful lessons she learned on the love beat. One such lesson: A good relationship is one in which we're comfortable.

McCarthy writes that 70% to 80% of the roughly 200 couples she interviewed mention how comfortable they feel with each other. (Some used a synonym, like "easy,""effortless," or "natural.") 

She writes: "Often they use the word and then immediately apologize. 'That sounds terrible,' they'll say. 'It sounds like settling.'" 

But McCarthy knows they don't mean that they've lowered their expectations for a relationship that's just okay. As one woman said about the first time she met her now-husband in person, "It wasn't forced or awkward — it was as if we'd always known each other."

What makes finding a comfortable relationship tricky, McCarthy says, is that it's not what we're taught to search for: "We look for sparks, chemistry, desire, and an immediate sense of knowing."

She adds:

"Society doesn't tell us to seek a mate who embodies the qualities of a good pair of pajamas: soft and warm, but loose enough to really let you breathe. 

"In the end, though, isn't that what we need? A companion with whom we can be our whole, unkempt, awkward, imperfect, occasionally appalling selves? Someone around whom we're not sucking in our stomach or walking on eggshells or bracing for judgment?" 

Interestingly, the ability to stop self-monitoring — changing our behavior so it pleases the people we're with — may be a hallmark of long-term relationships (even platonic ones).

As Business Insider's Erin Brodwin has reported, Joshua Shenk's book "Powers of Two" suggests that when we're with an intimate partner, we "talk fluidly and naturally." 

That's what McCarthy says happened to her when she first started dating her now-husband. 

She writes: "I didn't have to hold anything back. So I felt fully known. And then, because of that, fully loved."

SEE ALSO: 15 relationship facts everybody should know before getting married

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Rejection is painful. There's no other way about it. And most of us face it on a daily basis, whether it's that job you didn't get or a partner that broke up with you. 

Whether the rejection is large or small, it still hurts, and it's often more painful than we expect. 

Psychologist Guy Winch is the author of the book 'Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts,' which outlines why we feel so bad when we're rejected and what we can do about it. He shared some of his ideas in a recent blog post for TED. 

Read on to find out why rejection hurts so much and what you can do to ease the pain.

Problem 1: Rejection and physical pain go hand in hand.

According to a psychological study, the experiences of social rejection and physical pain are very similar in our brains. Researchers found that the same areas of our brain light up in an MRI machine when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain.

That's why rejection can feel like a punch in the gut, or a knife to the heart; you're literally using the same part of the brain as when you hurt yourself physically.

Problem 2: Our brains may be wired to feel this way.

Early human hunter-gatherers were unlikely to survive alone. Evolutionary psychologists believe that being ostracized from the tribe was basically a death sentence, and so our bodies have developed a warning mechanism to alert us when we're facing the possibility of being "kicked out."

This mechanism appears to have stayed with us throughout our evolution, because those who experienced more painful rejection were more likely to change their behavior and remain in the tribe as a result. These lucky individuals could eventually pass on their genes while those who were banished died alone.

Problem 3: We inflict most of the damage on ourselves.

Unfortunately, it's not usually the rejection itself that does the most damage; it's what comes afterwards. When we are rejected, many of us tend to become self-critical, and rather than project the anger and disappointment outwards, we blame ourselves. 

We scold ourselves for not doing enough work, not being pretty or funny enough, and we call ourselves names and punish ourselves. This isn't helpful when our self-esteem is already on the floor, and everyone knows this, but Winch says that barely ever stops us doing it. 

The good news is there is something you can do about it the next time you feel yourself getting sucked into a self-hate spiral. There are healthier ways to respond to rejection that Winch outlines which can help us rebuild our self-esteem and make us feel better again.

No matter how much we try to work with others and get along, the time comes when we can't agree.

It might be with a co-worker, a customer, or a boss. You don't want to get into an argument. You don't want to appear disagreeable.

Yet, you can't just go along. Difficult times call for difficult conversations.

Here are seven ways to help you look reasonable, interested and supportive, even as you disagree.

1. Find common ground

You may disagree on a point, but likely there are many things you do agree on. Perhaps you recognize the purpose or goal is valid, while you believe the steps to get there should be different. Take time to look for places you can agree.

2. Support and praise

Start with supporting and praising those areas that you find in common. You might complement a co-worker on being a hard worker or on taking time to consider this problem. You might express appreciation to your boss for taking time to listen and for his clear expectations.

There are always things that are good about others. Praising them first deflects the impression you are attacking them when you disagree. These steps will help with employee retention.

3. Ask questions

When you see flaws in a plan, rather than just disagreeing, start by asking questions. You might say any of the following:

Asking careful, thoughtful questions opens up the opportunity to find common ground. You may learn things that change your perspective. The person you disagree with has time to consider possible obstacles and change his or her viewpoint.

4. Look and act pleasant

Little of our communication is conveyed through the words we speak. Most comes from tone of voice, inflection, body language, facial expressions, etc. While your words may sound professional, your inflection and body language may say something else.

The tone of voice and body language always influence more than the words alone. Make sure you don't sound disagreeable. Cultivate a cooperative, interested, concerned tone of voice.

5. Reframe the situation

While you may not agree on method or action, you will agree on something larger. If possible frame the situation as both of you working to solve a common problem. When you are both on the same side, it's easier to work things out. You might say, "Hey, John, both of us want to move this project forward. How can we work this out in the best way?"

6. Recognize critical emotions

We think we make decisions by reason, but often they have emotional components. Our pride might be at stake. Our desire to win or be right might be stronger than reason. Recognize these emotional components even as you share the reasons behind your point of view. Find a way for the other person to save face.

7. Agree to disagree

At times, you may not be able to resolve the problem. You cannot find middle ground. No one is willing to change. This may be the time to step back and simply agree to disagree. You can show respect for the other person and their idea, even as you show respect for your value and plan.

There is an art to disagreeing without being disagreeable. The workplace runs more smoothly as you add this skill to your talents. And you step above the crowd when you master it.

Joel Garfinkle is the author of "Getting Ahead: Three Steps to Take Your Career to the Next Level." As an executive coach, he recently worked with a manager who had to provide constructive feedback to one of his poor-performing employees. Sign up to his Fulfillment@Work newsletter (10,000+ subscribes) and you'll receive the free e-book "41 Proven Strategies to Get Promoted Now!"

SEE ALSO: 7 ways to deal with a disagreement at work

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The one real friend breakup I experienced was a lot more painful than any romantic dissolution I've been through.

It was high school, and the thrust of my ex-friend's breakup speech was this: My other, cooler friends don't like you. So I've decided that I don't either. 

To be fair, we were young, and there's really no good way to tell someone you don't want to spend time with them anymore, for whatever reason. 

There are, however, a few decent ways that don't make you look like a total flake.

According to Andrea Syrtash, author of "He's Just Not Your Type (And That's A Good Thing): How to Find Love Where You Least Expect It," you can always go with the "slow fade"— you never return their calls; you're always too busy to hang out. But if you feel uncomfortable ghosting a close friend or if you want to communicate your thoughts, you have some other options. 

One is to write a letter, in which you say something like: "I feel like I can't be a good friend to you like I used to be." 

Syrtash said it's fine in this instance to put the blame on yourself: "Right now my life is in such a different place and I just don't feel like I can give the way I used to give to this friendship." (Consider this the platonic version of "It's not you, it's me.")

If you've been arguing, or if you think the friendship is toxic to your health and happiness, you can say: "I don't think we're bringing out each other's best. We're always fighting. You feel like I'm judging you; I feel like you're judging me. I wish you the best, but I don't think this is a healthy friendship for either of us."

No matter how you choose to end the friendship, Syrtash said the one thing to keep in mind is: "You're not doing your friend a favor by staying in the relationship out of guilt or pressure. You're not doing anyone a favor if you don't want to be there. A friendship needs to be reciprocal."

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Tony Robbins began his campaign to spread personal finance knowledge a few years ago, when he saw that after the Great Recession people distrusted banks and the stock market and were largely ignorant of how their money works for them.

And as he mentioned in a recent Facebook Live Q&A at Business Insider's New York offices, being educated about your own finances isn't enough if you're in a relationship.

In the Q&A, Robbins discussed principles from his new book "Unshakeable," a much slimmer version of his 2014 book "Money: Master the Game," with additional insights from Peter Mallouk, who was rated the No. 1 wealth adviser in the US by Barron's three times and who brought Robbins into his firm, Creative Planning, in 2016.

A viewer asked Robbins how she could begin a dialogue with her partner about each other's finances. She said it was difficult because her partner wasn't forthcoming.

Robbins said a primary reason couples feel uncomfortable talking about their money with each other is that one or both sides are fearful of judgment that they won't trust.

"If you try to tell your partner things, and your partner loves you but doesn't think this is your expertise — and for most people, it's not their expertise"— then you're not going to make much progress, Robbins said. "You're much better off to educate yourself and then share your learnings. Don't say, 'Let's do this.' Just say, 'Gosh, look at this. I just learned this thing.'"

He's suggesting that to begin, it's smarter to start learning about money yourself, and then approach your partner with new facts and techniques you've learned in order to spark a conversation rather than issue a lecture.

If that's not working and there's still a level of distrust — it doesn't necessarily have to be ill-intentioned or patronizing — it can be assuaged by bringing in a mediator who presents information to you both. That way, fear on both sides begins to disappear.

It's why, Robbins said, that at Creative Planning, all married clients must bring their spouses to their first meeting with their adviser, to discuss separate and mutual goals.

Robbins told the viewers that having a mediator for this potentially awkward conversation, whether through third-party knowledge or an actual adviser, is normal even for sophisticated investors. He likened it to the way a talented surgeon wouldn't perform surgery on himself.

"So having an outsider guide you through that is extremely helpful," Robbins said.

Watch the full Facebook Live Q&A with Robbins:

SEE ALSO: After interviewing more than 50 of Wall Street's best investors, Tony Robbins found the best investing advice for average people is remarkably simple

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